The Phoenix's Maiden

Her Thoughts

Amber’s Point of View

“Come here child,” someone whispered to my ear as I watch Arthur fend off the salamander in front of him. Even I felt so much excitement witnessing such magnificent creature in action, I could not resist not to notice this voice of a woman that whispered to my ear.

All of a sudden, I felt my whole body acting on its own and I did notify my friends that I will go somewhere to find the voice. I started to walk and I keep a straight eye on my way. I did not even look back to check on Arthur or even Kamandag. All that is inside my mind right now is to walk where my feet is guiding me.

“You seem lost,” the voice of a woman whispered to my ear again and I felt somewhat sad in that comment. Yeah, all my life I am lost. I don’t know where do I belong. I am not sure if I belong in this world. I fear that I cannot fulfill my role and they might throw me away if I fail their expectations. “You are destined to something greater,” the unknown voice added and she seems to read my mind. Also, I felt irritated on that remark.

Even you expect me to be great? I asked her with my mind since I can’t open my lips to talk. My body is hypnotized but my mind is not. Also, in my mind I felt that this place is familiar to me but this is the first time that I saw this place. I am in state of confusion right now since I do not know what is happening to me and who is the mystic that is whispering to my ear. I am the only person in this realm so it’s natural for me to address them as mystics, right?

“I witnessed how you late family being great in their own ways,” the voice responded to my thoughts and I am happy that I am correct with my speculations. “I am sensing that you can be great in your own way, and your destiny is in your own hands,” she added contradicting what she said earlier about me being destined that made me more confused.

What do you mean? I asked again in my thoughts.

“You are the one making your destiny and it’s up to you if you can be great in your way,” she answered my question that added more confusion. “I am only sensing that you can be great but I do not know if you have the courage or the will to be great,” she added. “It’s only a matter of choice,” she said.

I don’t know, I always don’t know if I can. I lived in the darkness and bringing me onto the light will just blind me that I do not have a clear vision on my path ahead. I am always like that. Making these decisions is very hard for me, it’s like I am pushing a huge boulder. I don’t have any solid grounds to commit, I fear of failing. I fear to be hated and be seen as outcast again.

“I understand how you feel, but are you ready to change yourself?” she asked me.

How can I know?

“You suffered a terrible fate back in the human realm but are you ready to change?” she asked me the same question. “This is not the human realm anymore and doubting yourself will just hold you back because I know that hold a greater power inside you,” she added.

That only pressure me, you know?

“Pressure is just a factor that will challenge you in this journey, and you need to endure the pressure,” she added. “Just like a squid in the depths of the ocean,” she added a metaphor which I do not understand. “Soon enough you will get my message and I hope that I can help you to change yourself and embrace your flaws,” she added.

I hope so, for now changing myself seems like a bit too much for me to handle. I guess I need to relax myself and go with the flow.

“That’s the best way to put it but beware, the water that you will be in is not forgiving,” she said.

Who knows if I can handle the pressure? Only I can know that after facing the pressure.

I kept walking and walking until I saw a cave from afar. It’s glittering because of the crystals that is sticking out to the rocks. It’s beautiful and it almost seem like a home of some celebrity. A world-famous celebrity. In my field of vision, I saw santelmos floating around and ignoring me. My mind is shouting with excitement and I want to twist my neck so bad to see them clearly.

They are like a ball of fire from afar but they are actually floating faces and their anger and anguish can be seen very well. I confirmed that the wailings that terrified me earlier are coming from them, but why are they keep ignoring me? I thought that they are vengeful and will burn down everyone they see. This are the souls of humans; I know it very well. If am correct and if they are, it’s nice to think that I am not the only human in this realm. I still see myself as a human and not a mystic. My humanity can’t be removed in my heart where ever I go.

I came near and near to the cave and went inside. The crystals are glowing red that gives light inside this dark shiny cave. I am curious to see why my body brought me here. Maybe I will see who is the source of the voice that keeps whispering to me earlier and I really hope that I am not crazy.

As I keep deeper in this cave, I hear a faint laugh that echo inside the cave and it keep getting louder and louder as I go in. Moments later I saw a silhouette from afar. I saw a woman sitting in a rock chair filled with black and red crystals. A woman with a long hair wearing a kimono smiling at me.

“Are you ready to change little one?”

-The Phoenix’s Maiden-