The Last Red

Chapter 22: The Feelings

"Give me the g*n! I'll shoot!" I hear Penelope yell at someone as I run the side of the block as fast as I can.

I can do it.

I can do it.

"Ugh!" I stumble as a bullet runs past me. Did she miss on purpose?

I bet.

Alright, I can do it.

I can't.

I stop, grunting in pain as I squeeze the area around my wound to diverge the burning sensation.

"Kayla!" Koben calls on me from behind the block. "C'mon, only ten feet more," he runs in my direction, seriously downsizing the length of the block remaining.

He gives me a hand just as another bullet shoots only an inch away from my arm.

It didn't take them long to start shooting over the fence.

Somehow we manage to reach the back. I check my body for blood.

There's nothing.

We're safe now. I exhale, sliding down the block, then sit on the sand.

Their bullets cannot reach us now, because the yard is only at the front of the block. 

We're out of their sight.

"You need to rest," he says seeing me lose all color from my face. 

"We can't stay here long. Rooster could come."

"I can take on Rooster," he reassures me. "I'm more worried about their guns. They're probably waiting for us to resurface. It's better to wait it out till sunset."

I exhale in relief. "Don't worry about guns. They have to spare their bullets. Nicky told me once they spend all ammo, it's gone."

He narrows his eyes. "How did they get access to guns in the first place?"

"They stole it off of robots doing routine checks once a year."

"Huh..."

Penelope's voice still echoes in my mind.

I take out the photo she gave me.

"What's that?" Koben asks.

"Just someone I need to find."

I turn the photo. 

On the back, it says Valerie and Penelope, 2455.

"Impossible," I mumble.

"What is?"

"The woman that gave me this claimed she was the child in the photo," I can't part my eyes from the exquisite handwriting on the back.

It's real penmanship. No one writes like this anymore.

"So?"

"This photo's two hundred and fifteen years old."

"Let me see," he takes the photo out of my hands.

I shake my head, now staring at the much uglier writing at the bottom: I SWEAR I DIDN'T DO IT, VAL

"Who gave you this?" he asks.

"The woman we saved from getting r***d on our first day. She said her sister's behind the wall. Valerie," I look at the children hugging. "She asked me to give it to her."

"What else did she say?" he narrows his eyes.

"Nothing - I had to run!"

"There's some code at the bottom," he states.

I frown seeing dashes and dots at the rim of the photo. Doesn't look like code to me. But then again, he is a coder.

"Well? What do you make of it?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing yet."

"You can't stay there forever!" someone yells and the sound barely reaches us.

I meet Koben's eyes. "If we follow a straight line, we can go at least six hundred feet more before we're back in their sight. It'd be pretty hard to shoot us from that far away."

"It's fine. We can wait for nightfall," he sits closer to me, our arms now touching. "Get some sleep," he says softly. "I'll be on the lookout."

"No, I'm fine."

"Red. One of us has to be awake at all times. We'll take turns," he nods.

Sleep does sound amazing. Even though I doubt I could fall asleep with so much going on.

"Okay," I agree at last, then lay my head onto his shoulder.

I inhale deeply, then exhale slowly.

And sleep finds me sooner than I thought.

* * *

"Kayla..."

I feel a gentle nudge that wakes me.

"We should get going," Koben whispers as I open my sleepy eyes.

I nod as I come to my senses. "How long have I been out?"

"Couple of hours."

It'd be pitch black if it weren't for a very weak moonlight.

We get up on our feet and start our way West. It's the only way we can get away from the NPS block safely.

Once we're at a safe distance, we'll make a wide U-turn and get back on track -East.

He gives me his arm for support and we walk slowly.

"You know," he chuckles, "I never would've believed it if someone told me I'd meet a purebred only a couple of days before my A.S.." 

I shrug. "I never thought I'd end up in another block just a day after I escaped KTL..."

I look in front, keeping a particular tree in focus, so we don't stray too much from a straight line.

"Maybe you wouldn't have," he loses the humor. "If it weren't for me."

Is that guilt I sense?

I watch his eyebrows furrow in worry and almost roll my eyes.

"I'm glad I met you, Koben," I reassure him. 

He clenches his jaw a little.

"Why?" He then asks, slowing down even more, so that now we're barely even moving.

The question takes me by surprise. 

"Because," I shake my head. "It's better than being alone."

"Even if it's me?" he teases.

"Even if it's you," I roll my eyes playfully and a small smile escaped his lips. 

"Truth be it, I could do a lot worse than you," I look behind at the NPS block, catching him bite his lip in the weak Moonlight.

He stops then, stopping me along with him as he turns toward me.

I feel my heart racing in my chest, but I can also hear his.

He slowly leans his forehead over mine, then closes his eyes, inhaling deeply.

I shut my eyes, my heart suddenly racing.

I feel the gentle breeze on my cheeks and his breath on my lips.

It gives me goosebumps.

My lips part as I now rest my hands over his upper arms.

He places his on each side of my hips.

And then his lips close over mine.

I suddenly forget all about my leg pain and I give in fully into the kiss.

The first one I've ever had.

His tongue enters my mouth and mine mimics the same action as they twirl and intertwine. 

I now fully close the distance between our bodies and hold him stronger between my hands. As if I don't want to let go.

Shit. I didn't think I felt this way about him.

I stop, holding his arms strongly and gently push him away.

"We should get going," I whisper, panting a little.

He presses his lips in agreement. "Right."

I run my hands gently down his lower-arms, until our palms touch.

He hesitates a little before taking my hand into his.

Then we continue our walk.

"I never really did that before," I admit.

He looks at me in amusement.

"Kissed someone?"

I nod, almost laughing. 

"I know it's ridiculous. I guess I was always too afraid someone'd figure out my camouflage if they came too close."

"Right," he finally says, guilt displaying on his face.

I wonder why. But I know it's pointless to ask.

What happens now, though - do I trust him? Will I follow him behind the Wall?

I can't believe I'm even contemplating it. What's gotten into me?

I never knew I was capable of feeling these emotions for a guy. This was always just stupid talk Keet would always throw at me. But it was never supposed to happen to me. 

Shit. Now I don't have my head clear enough to make a reasonable objective choice.

But even if I do follow him to the Wall, we might get turned down. Then we'd be just another rogue team without a tribe.

We'd probably end up together - if for nothing else, then lack of choice. 

I don't like this train of thought... are we going to be just like Triss and Tay in a few years? Bitter rogues who want a family of their own, but can't have it.

Or even worse? Have it. Like my parents did.

I shake the thought away. I never want to bring a child into a world like this.

I'd never forgive myself.

Easy there, my voice of reason awakens. You've only just kissed. 

I bite my lip. Yeah, but these things escalate quickly.

I have to be careful - I feel tingles all over my body just from holding his hand.

And I shouldn't rush into anything.

If I fall in love with him, I might make a bad decision regarding the Wall.

I need to decide on it with a clear cold head.

"Almost there," Koben announces as we approach a set of trees. He rubs my hand with his thumb. "We can spend the night here."

I swallow hard - coward.

We enter the trees and scan the surroundings, swiftly making sure no one's in our territory.

"We're good," he says, letting go of my hand.

"It's a bit cold, but lighting a fire could attract Patrick, if he even went out to find us."

I shake my head. "No fire. We have enough on our plate as it is." I sit down below a tree, placing my bag aside. 

"Good," he joins me down, "I'll keep you warm," he says softly.

Perfect, my inner sarcasm awakens. Another reason for me to hug him. Just what I need...

"Is everything fine?" he asks seeing my face.

I shake my head. "Yes. I just..."

I what? I don't even know how to explain it.

"It's nothing," I shake my head. "Your time to sleep," I say. "I'll be on the lookout."

"You sure?"

I nod and he lays down next to where I'm seated.

As if I could fall asleep now from all the thoughts haunting me. 

When I make sure his eyes are shut, I observe his features. 

His strong jaw, high cheekbones, full lips... 

I don't want to care about someone again.

It hurts too much to lose them. And our predicament is dangerous enough as it is. We shouldn't complicate it with falling in love. Love just makes things worse. Makes you reckless. It could cost us our lives.

Why should I follow him to the Wall anyway? Would he be willing to stay in the Wild for me - to live as a 'rogue in the desert' as he put it?

I watch him breathing slowly and I already know the answer to that.

He wouldn't. 

I'm not gonna fool myself - the only reason he ever approached me was because he needed me.

To trade.

I inhale sharply and press my head against the tree in desperation.

Then I hear a branch break.

Oh, crap.