Mates: Revenge

Chapter 29

I try to will myself to move, make a noise, reach out, just anything to announce myself. My body isn’t working and I’m unable to do anything other than stand and stare. If Brooklyn was old enough to have her wolf, she would have noticed my scent already. I’m sure it will happen sooner than with other children due to her heritage.

I don’t know how long I stood there; how long I watched Brooklyn. I’m so lost in thought and don’t realize that Brooklyn noticed me until I feel a hand on mine. I fall back to reality and see Brooklyn standing in front of me with a smile on her face. Her smiling at me almost breaks me because I don’t deserve the love. I get down on one knee and open my arms wide. Brooklyn doesn’t hesitate to run into them and wrap her arms around my neck. This is too much for my heart to take and I can feel tears running down my face. Brooklyn pulls back from me and wipes the tears from my eyes with a concerned look on her face. I give her the best smile I can muster, but I imagine it isn’t truly effective. I sit on my feet and take Brooklyn’s hands into mine. “Oh, Brooky…….I missed you so damn much.” Brooklyn gives me a smile and caresses my cheek. “Have you…….have you been okay?” I whisper out and at this point I’m grateful she can’t talk. If she could, I’m sure she would unload on me and she’d have every right to do so. Brooklyn nods and she has a small smile on her face. Even in the midst of her misery, she still wants to show me love.

Brooklyn sits in front of me and I sink down to my bottom. I cross my legs and caress Brooklyn’s face. “Brooky…….I have to talk to you about something.” Brooklyn watches me, waiting for me to continue. I take both of her hands into mine and just look at her for a bit. It is a comfortable silence even though I’m dying inside. I miss Brooky’s constant questions and conversations. If I ever thought it was annoying before, I take it all back. I’d give anything to experience it all again. I sigh and close my eyes trying to gather strength. “Brooky, I have to go away for a while. I’m a bit…..well a bit sick and I have to try to get better. I can’t get better here, so I have to go away. It won’t be forever, but I’m not sure when I will come back.” I exhale and open my eyes, but nothing could prepare me for what I would see. Brooklyn is looking at me with wide eyes, almost overrun with tears. Her bottom lip is quivering and my heart is breaking with pain. I knew that she would experience some pain over this, but I wasn’t prepared for what that pain would do to me.

Brooklyn blinks and the tears start to pour out of her eyes. She shakes her head and launches onto me. She has me by the neck as if I’m her lifeline and her only way to survive. Brooklyn buries her head in my neck and I can feel her body shaking with sobs. This breaks me all the way down and I start to sob along with her. “Brooky……” I say in a broken voice. “Brooky, I’m so so sorry. This isn't your fault, it’s mine. I’m sorry for what I did to you; for what happened to you. I’m sorry I’m of no help to you now. I love you so, so much and I want to get better for you.” Brooklyn continues to sob in my neck and the sound is ripping me into two. I would do anything to take this pain away from her. I would give anything to give her her voice back and take that dark period away from her. This is why I need to leave. I need to get better so I can do better for her and the pack. Right now, I’m no good to anyone and I can’t function like that.

I know you planned to go after you spoke to us. Jayden mindlinks me and I know he is probably watching us. I will take her so you can go.

Jayden comes into my view and he sits next to Brooklyn. His eyes hold so much sadness and I try to keep the guilt out of mine. I have caused this family so much pain and destruction. I have to find a way to redeem myself, but I’m not sure that is possible. Jayden starts to rub Brooklyn’s back while I try to pull her arms from my neck. She has a tight hold on me, but I know that sooner is better than later. I give Brooklyn a few light kisses on her cheeks as I pull away from her grasp. Jayden has her by her waist and is helping to pull her away. She is trying to fight against him, but he is much stronger. I rub her face and kiss her forehead. “I love you Brooky. I will be back as soon as I can.” I stand up and watch Brooklyn reach for me for a second before it becomes too much for me. I still have tears falling down my face as I turn and head out of the room.

I turn towards the door so I can move out of their suite. “We will take care of her,” I hear Kehlani say from behind me. “You just focus on getting better. I want you back as soon as possible.” I don’t turn around because I know that if I do, I may not leave. I don’t speak because I’m not sure it will be words that come out rather than sobs. I nod my head and continue out the door. When I get down the stairs, I pick up my duffle bag that is waiting on me and I head out of the packhouse to my waiting car. As soon as I load up, I drive off fast, not sparing a glance back. I swear I will be worthy again and when I am, I will be back.