Angel By Day Devil By Night

Today is my mother's birthday and I’m visiting her grave. She died when I was ten years old. I remember the day she died as if it was yesterday. “Lerato you need to hurry or else I’m going without you.” My mother liked to do that a lot, making me believe she's going to leave without me if I don’t hurry. I would just grab my shoes and run to the car, then she will laugh and help me put them on. How I miss her!. Grocery shopping went well until I decided I wanted my favorite blueberry cheesecake ice cream. My mom held my hand and walked to the ice cream truck. She bought it for me and I was the happiest kid ever, but I was not the only one who’s happy. There was a reason why my mom was so giddy, I will never forget the glow she had on her face that fateful day. My mom was elated because my father was coming back home after a very long two months. The reason we went grocery shopping was to cook a feast for my dad. He worked eight hours away from home, so he only came home on special days like birthdays and holidays. I knew he was working very far, but something that will remain a mystery is why he didn’t take us with him. I always wanted us to become a real family that stays together all the time, but that could only just be a wish that will never turn into reality. Tomorrow is workers day that is why my dad is coming home after his shift so he could spend the whole week with us. I was sad than happy because I know every time when he comes home I’m the one who has to pick up the pieces. My mom would be a mess for weeks after he left, and it was really painful to see my mother like that. We waited for the green light to cross the road to where my mom has parked her car on the side of the road. The green light popped and now it was our turn to cross the road, mid road I dropped my ice cream but my mom was not aware of that. So she kept dragging me, and I pulled my hand out of hers and made a U-turn to where my ice cream fell, mind you it was in the middle of the road. A drunk driver came speeding his car and he never intended to stop at the red light, my mom saw the car speeding above the speed limit then she ran towards me to protect me from the hit. Mom pushed me to the side of the road and the car hit her. I stood up from the cemented side road and I ran to her, her head was bleeding and she was choking on her blood. I was very young but I knew my mom was leaving me, she was dying. I looked intently into her eyes thinking maybe I’d spot some hatred but no! That was not the case. I saw pure love and care. A mother’s love is unconditional, even after what I did she still cared. Ten minutes later the ambulance came and took her to the hospital. Our neighbour was on my mom's emergency contacts, they called her to come and take me. They couldn't take me to the hospital with them. I was worried the entire day wondering whether my mom is going to be okay or not. Later my dad came home and Mrs waltz saw his car parking outside the house. "Lerato let’s go meet your dad he must be worried." We walked to our house and my dad was not himself, he glanced at me very annoyed. “This is all your fault!!!.” He said as he violently shook my shoulders. All I could do was to cry because deep down I knew it was my fault, that fateful day ruined my relationship with dad. Since then he only talked to me if he wanted to ask me something or when he ordered me to do all the chores. Surprisingly he never went back after my mom’s funeral. He stayed and looked for a job. Why couldn’t he have done that while my mom was still alive. When I turned twelve he remarried and that was the end of me. I can’t believe I thought I was going to get a motherly love from that woman. She had a daughter my age and she became their trophy, she got all the love while I got nothing but pig’s food and rags for clothes. My dad hated me, you might think hate is a strong word but no… I was not exaggerating. That’s how my dad felt about me. At first it was hard living with his hate but now I’m used to it, still hurts though. My name is Lerato Davis, the only daughter of the late Donna and Caleb Davis. My life has been miserable for the passed ten years since my mother passed away because of the accident I caused. I used to wish that one day my father would forgive me but now I know it’s not going to happen, so I stopped wishing. I couldn’t hurt myself anymore by wishing for something that will never happen. I’m doing my last semester as a nursing student. When I was matriculating, I applied for a bursary and luckily it was approved. The Anderson group approved my bursary and to be honest I was more stunned than happy. Everyone knows the infamous snobby Andersons, I never thought they were human to grant anyone a bursary. I guess I judged them poorly or maybe they were just putting up a face. School was very annoying as usual but I got to suck it up if I want to become something and move out of my father’s house. I’m fed up with the abuse, I’m too old for that. I walked to college absentmindedly and I didn’t realize I was already at the school gate. My long time best friend Collin transferred here from his previous college. He wanted to live far way from his parents, he was tired of them dictating his every move. He got more balls than I do, I’ve always wanted to move out since I work part time and I can now afford it. But I couldn’t do that, I didn’t have it in me to leave my father with that woman. I know she doesn’t love him. I had to stay so I can cook all the time because I’m scared she might poison his food. That woman is such a mean son of a gun, I don’t know what my father was thinking marrying her. My mom was ten times a better and more beautiful woman than she is. I feel like my father is disrespecting my mother’s memory by replacing her with that daredevil. I waited for Collin to call me when he arrives, I missed him so much. He has always been the pillar of my strength, even the distance didn’t stop him to the best friend he is. We met online and we kind of clicked, but not in a romantic manner. We are like brother and sister.