Percy
“‘Young people’ are not the problem. They aren’t just a crowd of disrespectful a**holes who can’t keep their legs closed. And if a health care PROFESSIONAL in a state-funded facility close to a campus with college-aged kids, which, by the way, is the age range most people have an extensive spike in change and blossoming s*xual behavior and learning experiences… when someone like THAT can’t see the total discrepancy in the term ‘health CARE professional’ and acting like an aggressive white knight of social propriety, THEY are the a**hole.”
“How dare you-”
But I’m on a roll, and she can suck a fat one. “This is your job! If someone comes in and wants an STI test, you give it to them and treat them.” I loosen the tourniquet around my arm. “They want a flyer on how to stay abstinent throughout college or come in for free condoms? Great, give them a year’s worth!” I push her small stool with my toe so she rolls backward a little, grabbling for the counter next to her. “A girl comes in and asks for information on adoption or how to apply for state benefits like housing and daycare? Don’t call her a fool and insinuate she should have kept her legs closed. JUST GIVE HER THE INFORMATION.”
“I have never in my professional career—
“IF SOMEONE,” my voice gets a little more firm as I get up and out of the chair she set me in: “…comes to you and asks for a f*cking ab*rt*on, tell them what they need to know.”
She blanches and grabs her chest. “It might surprise you, but not everyone wants to hear your opinion on the topic when they come in here to seek help.”
“You…”
I don’t think she really knows what more to say, so she’s just pointing at me.
“Lastly… Don’t treat me like I need your approval for the choices I make concerning MY health. All I wanted was a f*cking blood test, not a lecture on how rude this generation is and how our s*xual proclivities are the downfall of our great nation.”
I walk out of there with my head high but without a blood sample. After a long trip by foot to the next free clinic, where a nice young man draws my blood and gives me a free sample of pre-natal vitamins, I make my way back to campus in time for my only class of the day. Just about 2 hours later, I get an email confirming what my morning sickness and over a dozen over-the-counter tests already have told me: I’m pregnant.
Downing the boiling hot coffee in my hand, I skim the email twice before dropping my phone in the hidden pocket of my bag and entering the auditorium.
It’s Wednesday, and time for the only big lecture we still have. With my favorite Professor. I think if I hadn’t already been sold on coming here when I received the full-ride scholarship, even though I didn’t hold that for long, it would have been Gordon Stryker who convinced me. His research on different factors that can be used to slow down cell aging and elongate the telomere is fascinating and intriguing. For the four years I have been here, he hasn’t had a spot open, but I got to talk to him, and he seemed to like my ideas. So, he lets me join him in the lab occasionally. Last year, he offered me a TA position before funding suddenly got cut.
My thoughts circle around that while I take notes as Stryker goes over the slides I have already worked through two days ago. I like to stay ahead. Nothing worse than being surprised. Something in me surges at that thought, and my hand moves, but I stop myself before I touch my nonexistent stomach over my t-shirt like one of the women in movies or commercials. Stupid.
‘Not you. Just the thought of … I don’t even know what I wanted to say, chicken finger. Sorry. You are a good surprise. The best. Better than I could have ever imagined… OK, a new car and no debts would have been good too, but now it’s you, and that’s great. Cars don’t have ears and eyes and noses… or fingernails and a gallbladder as you do right now, so…’
God, I’m a creep, talking to the baby like it can hear me. But it’s strangely therapeutic. 'We need more women in science, just saying. Wouldn’t be too bad if you were a girl. A single mother might be just what they need. If it’s not, I’ll make it so.’
So lost in my own world, I only register that Stryker is done when the people next to me get up.
Why does everyone always leave like they got stung by something or like they really need to be somewhere else? I not only find it rude, but it’s also not very efficient. Plan your day better. Look for the least traveled paths. Makes it way faster. Also, all 150 students storming the door at once trying to get out just won’t work.
I wait for a few more minutes, and once almost everyone has filed out, I make my way to the front.
“Ms.Lawson, a word.” Stryker waves me over enthusiastically, the tweet of his jacket crinkling with the motion. He’s in his mid-thirties, and if I was into that, he’s the teacher I’d f*ck. But I’m not, so all I see is a nice man with the same interests who has helped me in the past and now gives me a broad smile like a kid on Christmas Day.
“Guess who is getting the funds to employ a TA in four months to come?”
I can’t help the small smile spreading on my face at his excitement. You could think this is more for him than for me, even though that is just not true.
“Well… you?” I say, raising an eyebrow.
“Correct.” Stryker pumps his fist, and I let out a chuckle. “That’s great….” The second my thoughts move to what the next few months, the next few years will be like for me, I push down the lump that wants to form in my throat.
“Professor, there is… something I have to be upfront with you about. It would be misleading not to let you know ahead of time and maybe take the option away to look for someone more fitting.”
His brows furrow, but Stryker nods for me to continue.
“I… just found out that I’m four months pregnant. And I will be raising the baby by myself. I will, of course, apply myself to the best of my abilities. But I just want you to note that they might be limited due to my duties toward my… child.”
My heart surges at the last word. I really like to think of them that way. Like a tiny parasite, they have already, in just 14 short hours, taken up space in my soul, my very being (scientifically totally wrong but emotionally the only way to describe it, so sue me).
A wonky grin spreads on Stryker’s face. “Have I really lost my best student to biology?”, he huffs theatrically. Then he just shrugs his shoulders.
“Since your work would be done remotely about 80% of the time, I don’t give a damn if you do it while breastfeeding, during nap time, or whenever. I only request that you be available on the phone regularly and come in once a month. But we’ll talk specifics once I actually hold the paper confirming the funds in hand.” Winking, Stryker turns to leave. Then, looking back over his shoulder, he adds.
“I have never worked with a mother before, but I heard they are fierce. So I guess we’ll find out what you multiplied by a hundred will be able to achieve. If anyone can do it, it’s you, Ms.Lawson.”
The itch to snap the band around my wrist increases, but I don’t give in. Don’t let the pressure that simple sentence builds up in the pit of my stomach ruin this moment. This GREAT moment. I have a job… well, a NEW job.
I force myself to smile for a second, walking back to the parking spot I almost didn’t make it to this morning. My poor car is looking entirely out of sorts. Blowing out a breath, I push my hair out of my face. Better walk again. ‘Norma’s’ isn’t that far, and I have an abstract to write and a paper to proofread. Also, I want to work through last week’s labs again. Damn, I hope Sergey fixed their router.
Today couldn’t end on a better note. That’s when my phone buzzes in my pocket. And a short glance at the area code is enough to tell me I don’t want to answer that. Not unless I have a good exit strategy in place. And I don’t.
Green eyes, looking at me confused, pop into my head. Jordan… Shaking them off, I grunt at my bag, making a concerning ripping sound under the weight of my books and journals. He’s the victim here. He doesn’t have to do sh*t to help me, and for all I know, it’s better if he stays the f*ck away from me, and I pretend like I don’t even know him and don’t have any intentions of seeing him again. Which I don’t. No matter those weird feelings he caused, I haven’t been able to shake ever since.