Starlet

12. Meltdown

I stay in bed for a day and a half. Then Thora comes in and pulls me up. "We're done moping now. Let's go shopping."

She guides me around for a while. Then I end up on the porch of my house with Lindsey and Jack.

"You remember I'm Nadine, right?"

"Yea."

"So, what's going on in your head?"

I don't know how to answer that.

"This happened with the s*x talk. Did someone force you into it?"

"No."

"Then what's wrong? And I'll say, if someone forced you into it, it doesn't count. You don't even have to worry about that. Your mate would still love you."

That makes me hurt worse. My mate never touched me like that. He never touched me nicely.

"Mary said the only question she asked was if people get more than 1."

"Well, I got a lot, but I'm not normal. Most people get 1 and that's enough for them."

"What if he hates me?"

"He won't. But you could always choose another mate. There's something called a bonding potion. You can take it with someone, and it's a real soulmate bond."

That makes me feel a little better. Maybe I could find someone that can love me. I doubt it though. They have soul mates too.

"YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?" A girl is pissed on the path. She stomps up onto the porch. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU. HE..."

"We're friends." Lindsey seems lost.

"EWW. That's my brother." I can play too.

Jack rubs his eyes. Lindsey tries not to laugh.

Her eyes get so big. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought you were cheating on someone."

Jack pulls her towards the door. "That was a hell of a show."

"I'm really sorry. I didn't know."

"I'm going to beat your ass for that." The door shuts behind them.

Lindsey nods, "Do not go in there."

"They're having s*x aren't they?"

"Yes."

"I'll burn the bedding later."

"Yep."

We sit there until 5. Then I take off running. I forgot play practice.

I run head first into a huge man. I fall backwards on my ass, and he glares at me. He opens his mouth. I jump up and run for it so fast.

I run into the theater. Andy is standing up at the front between the first row of seats and the stage. I run right to him. I get behind him. Bayden is standing there. I guess they were talking. I don't know. They give me a funny look. Then the theater doors open again. That man comes in. I drop to my knees and try to be small. I peek down a row of chairs, and he is looking around.

He points at Bayden. "TELL HER TO WATCH WHERE SHE'S GOING." He slams the door on his way out.

Bayden looks at me. "Always something with you, isn't it?"

I start crying.

"No." Andy gets me off the floor. "What happened?"

"I ran into him. I was late and in a hurry."

"In that case, he's just mean." He hands me a book. "Go sit over there and study. You're alright. He won't hurt you. He's grumpy." He wipes the tears off my face. "Go on. It's fine."

Bayden rubs his eyes. "Grumpy and huge. I nearly pissed myself when he walked in."

I go over to my spot and study.

The props department is up there the whole practice. So, I get to study the whole time.

Afterward, I sit on the porch and study the lines. I need to learn these. Everyone else is memorizing lines already and I can't remember 1. They're not even that hard or long.

I read them, what seems like, a million more times.

Andy comes up and tries to sit in a hanging chair. "Are you alright?"

I watch him argue with the chair.

"I'll sit over here."

I start sobbing. "I can't do it. It's too hard."

"What is?"

"Theater. I can't learn the lines."

"Yes you can. I watched you memorize the whole audition. And that was more lines than this."

"Everyone else has pages of lines memorized. I can't even remember 1. And they're not even that hard." I cry into my hands.

"It hasn't been that long. People do not have their lines memorized. It'll be another month for that. Even the first couple weeks of actual practicing, you'll be carrying around that book. You'll have it with you on stage."

"Lyn memorized pages." I wipe tears off my face.

"Lyn is overexcited. I don't even have that much memorized yet, and I've had the book longer. You're not doing badly."

"Really?"

"You're doing great. Keep coming to the practices and learning how everything works. And instead of trying to memorize the lines right this second. Why don't you read Mel's whole part again? Figure out who she is. What do you know so far?"

"She's a business owner. There's not much background about her."

"We have to take what we're given. So, if she's a business owner, how do you think she acts or dresses?"

"Professional. Probably has her hair done business like."

"Good. How do you think she talks?"

"Professional. I bet she stays poised under pressure and looks nice."

"That's a good start. Next time you read her part, think about those things. That's all you need to be doing for now."

"Ok."

"Did you eat?"

"BOY LEAVE HER ALONE."

Luke runs up to the porch.

"BITE ME DAD."

Marcus stops in the path and stares at him.

I whisper, "Luke, start saying you're sorry now."

"NO. HE IS ALWAYS TELLING ME WHAT TO DO." He slams his foot down.

Marcus is getting closer very quickly. He walks up on the porch, makes a magic door on my front door, and drags Luke right through.

"I'm guessing he's in trouble."

"Yea. His dad seemed pissed."

"Where the f**k did Marcus go?" Dipak and another man walk into the yard.

"He made a door with her door and took Luke with him."

"What happened?"

"He told Marcus, bite me, and he's always telling him what to do."

Dipak tries not to laugh. "That boy ain't going to sit tomorrow."

"What are you all doing out here?"

"Figuring out the parade route."

I jump straight out of the seat. Then I try to jump over the porch rail to get to him. But I catch my foot on it and slam into the ground in front of the porch. Dipak and Andy jump towards me.

I jump up. "YOU HAVE TO COME THROUGH HERE. DOWN THAT PATH." I point at the balcony and jump up and down. "I WANT TO WATCH FROM UP THERE." I jump up and down some more. "UP THERE I WANT TO SEE IT." I look at Andy and point again. "UP THERE."

Dipak holds his hands out. "Stop." I shake. "Are you ok?"

"I hurt my arm. But UP THERE." I point.

Johen and Tye step into the yard. "What the hell is going on?"

"I WANT TO SEE THE PARADE FROM UP THERE."

Dipak shakes his head. "We have to be able to secure a route. You can't just say from up there."

I throw myself down and cry. "Up there."

"Stand up and let me see your arm. It's not broken. Probably landed on it wrong. Did you eat?"

I wipe the tears off. "Not yet."

"Do you even have food?"

Tye rubs his eyes. "The f*****g water thing."

"What water thing?"

"Her shoulder is fine. Are you not drinking anything? Where do you get water from?"

I point at the restaurant.

"Is that not right?" Andy puts an eyebrow up. Then he shakes his head. "Oh" My eyes fill up with tears.

"She has water in the house, right?"

"I f*****g think so."

They go in the house. Even Andy goes in with them.

I lay down in the yard and cry.

Tre helps me up. "What's wrong?"

"They're mean and mad."

"Why is that?"

"I got water wrong." I start sobbing.

He helps me in. They are yelling in the kitchen now.

Tre takes me there. "ENOUGH." They shut up. "What the hell is going on?"

They yell and I rub my arm. It hurts.

He lifts my arm. "Does that hurt?"

"No."

"Alright. Everyone relax." He heals my arm. "Does that feel better?"

"Yes, thank you."

"You're welcome. Now what is the water thing?"

"She asked for some water earlier. The servant was taking her water from the castle."

"Why?"

"She doesn't have anything in these cupboards, Tye. Dishes, bowls, cups, spoons, FOOD. There is nothing here."

"Where were you getting stuff?"

"The restaurant over there."

"This isn't that bad. She figured out how to get food and drinks. It's close. I mean sure, she needs cups. But this isn't tragic. What happened to her arm?"

"She got excited and fell off the porch."

Tre smiles. "There is nothing wrong here. She got too excited, and you don't like where she gets water. But as long as she gets water, that's what matters. There is water running to the house, right?"

Johen flips a switch. "Yep."

"You need some cups."

"Ok."

"Why did you get so excited that you fell of the porch?"

"She wants to see the parade go by the balcony."

"They are finding the parade route. I want to see it from the balcony."

"Now you know, the safety of the people in the parade is more important than having them go by your house, right?"

I stare at the ground. "Yes."

"We will do what we can, but we can't promise that."

"Ok."

"Did you eat?"

"Not yet."

"It's ok. I'll get you something to eat. You want to eat on the balcony?"

"YES."

"Go on."

Tre comes up after a few minutes with a huge bowl of something. He puts it in the middle of the table. Then Dipak and Andy come with plates, forks, and cups of water.

"Thank you."

Dipak winks. "You're welcome. This is food from Tye's island. You'll like it. You like cooked pineapple."

We all sit and eat. It's nice having people to eat with.

"I kept wondering why they were giving me funny looks when I would order 2 water to go."

"She was crying in the yard and asked what was wrong. She had big tears. I got water wrong." Everyone loses it. "All I could think was, how the hell do you get water wrong?"

Marcus gets a bowl. "You like being in the village?"

"I know I'm not doing very good. But in ways it's nice."

"What way is that?"

"There's so many people to talk to. I can walk up to the first girl I see and talk about hair or clothes, shoes, anything. And I like that people help each other. Like the boys who put this together. They didn't have to. They did and I bought them lunch. That was so different. They did it to be nice."

Tre shakes his head. "No. Boys always have an agenda. They want you."

"Nobody wants me."

Marcus smiles. "You are still young. But yes, most want you. The rest want laid. They are doing something nice for you, hoping to get s*x for it."

I shake my head. "So, you're saying the 10 boys that put my furniture together wanted s*x?"

"They would have taken that as payment."

"Well I'm sorry, but they got lunch instead. And I don't think you're right about this. I think some boys are nice and like to help. Or will help if they see someone in trouble. And with what you are saying. Any time any of you do something to help someone, you want to have s*x with them? I mean, you're boys too."

Dipak smiles. "There is a difference between boys and men. It's hard telling them apart sometimes, so you have to be careful. But most young ones doing everything for you are boys. They would all have s*x with you right here and now. That's what they want."

"And then you'll never hear from them again." Tye gets some food.

"It's not a very big village, Tye. I'm positive I would hear from them again."

"They wouldn't want a relationship with you. They would ignore you and call you names like w***e behind your back."

"So boys want to have s*x with a girl and then call her names? How does that make any sense? They do realize they could have s*x again if they were nice, right?"

Andy shakes his head. "Not worth the effort. They would get to brag to their friends. While they are chasing someone else. They're going to do the same thing to her. It's a numbers game. They want to see how many girls they can get."

Marcus smiles. "That's why you wait for your mate. He's going to take care of you."

I cross my arms. "I don't like boys anymore."

Lindsey sits beside me. "Yes you do. But you can't have s*x with them ever. But we can tease them until they turn purple. Get them to do everything we want. Toss your hair and bat your eyelashes at them. Boys love that. Shake your hips and rub against them. That gets them going. They like kissing too. But you can't tease a man. Don't tease grown men. They don't like it. They'll probably tell Dipak on you. Or they'll get turned on and scare the hell out of you."

Tre smirks. "She'll come running up crying, he's got black eyes. I only wanted the couch moved." They crack up laughing.

I smile. "I can tease boys."

They all say, "No boys in the house." At the same time.

Thora smirks. "Then how are we supposed to get the couch moved? Plus, we want to have parties."

Marcus shakes his head. "Nice try. No parties."

Thora rolls her eyes. "Oh please. Neither of us are going to have s*x, even if we were alone with someone. You're being too much like dads. Let her be a teenager. Who cares if she makes out with a couple of boys? Maybe we can get the house painted."

Dipak shakes his head. "No parties."

"You're no fun."

"I know."

We laugh and finish dinner. Then I go to sleep.