Behind Amethyst Eyes

Chapter 14- Letting Go

Kara's POV

    Four large coffees sit in my passenger seat. I grabbed an extra one for me because today is going to be a long day. Over the last two weeks, I have learned so much about the destiny of the zodiacs. My combat training is going so much better than I could have imagined. I feel myself getting stronger as I push myself harder with each session. Yesterday, I was able to take Daniel by surprise. Sure, it only lasted for a few seconds, but it’s the small victories that matter right now.

    I haven’t been as successful with learning to use my powers. I’m healing myself at a much faster rate. Before I started training, I could only heal cuts and bruises. I’d come home with sore muscles that would take almost a day to heal. The last two days, however, all I needed was a shower and the ache was gone. I can’t seem to heal Daniel of any of his cuts or bruises yet. He keeps telling me to find my energy box, but what the hell is an energy box? He tries to be supportive, but I end up getting too frustrated and usually blow up at him. Maybe my gift just doesn’t work that way. Maybe this is something I won’t have any control with.

    I pull up to Daniel’s house and take a deep breath. I walk up the steps to the front door with the coffees in hand. Just as I’m about to knock on the door, it swings open revealing Daniel with a big smile on his face.

    “Good morning!” He says in a chipper voice. If this past week has taught me anything, it’s that Daniel is a morning person, something I can not understand nor tolerate. I scowl at his happiness.

    “Morning” I mutter. I walk behind Daniel into the kitchen. My senses are immediately flooded with wonderful aromas. Bacon, sausage, eggs, and hashbrowns are piled on separate plates while an assortment of muffins and fresh fruit sit alluringly on the table. My mouth begins to water as I take in the amount of food before me.

    “Isn’t it just us three? Why is there so much food?” I ask as I grab my plate and start piling it high. Daniel said Richard makes a good breakfast sandwich, so I quickly throw one together. I take three muffins, one of each flavor: blueberry lemon, chocolate chip, and cinnamon spiced apple. I grab a large bowl and fill it with the fruit before sitting at the table. My butt isn’t even in the seat before I start stuffing my mouth with the delectable food. I only look up when I hear a pair of giggles coming from the other side of the table.

    “Hopefully I made enough.” Richard states as he points to my overflowing plate. I feel my cheeks warm as they go red with embarrassment.

    “Training takes tons of energy out of us. When I first started, we would have to go to the store multiple times a week because I kept eating everything in the house.” Daniel adds with a chuckle. They both fill their plates. Daniel’s looks similar to mine except he has two full plates whereas Richard’s is only moderately full.

    None of us speak. We simply enjoy the company we’re in. I have to admit, it feels nice to sit at a table and have a meal like a family. They aren’t my real family, I don’t have one of those anymore, but they’re sort of a family. They are my zodiac family.

    I’m still a bit unsure about Richard. We haven’t talked about the incident, but that’ll change today. He has seemed very understanding the past week. He’s kept his distance for the most part, but I can see he wants to join our training sessions and offer his guidance and opinions. Maybe I judged him too harshly or took his words out of context. I decide to be openminded when we have our conversation.

    Richard stands and takes his empty plate to the sink. I follow suit and do the same. My stomach is full from the hoard of food I just ingested. Daniel is still munching away on the last bits of his fruit.

    “I have a few things I need to get sorted out for my trip this week. Kara, when you’re finished here, come to my office and we can talk.” Richard says as he grabs his coffee and leaves.

    Daniel and I make quiet work of cleaning up the rest of breakfast. I have come to enjoy our comfortable silence as we do mundane tasks together. It’s calming and peaceful knowing we can simply enjoy each other’s company and not have to worry about making conversation flow. There are couples who have to be doing something at all times to keep things interesting. Katie and Mike are always coming up with new games or date ideas, so they don’t get bored. Even when all three of us hang out, the conversation never dies. The conversations are always so trivial and unimportant. Needless banters back and forth about what the girl in calculus said or how some guy got too drunk at a party. Those kinds of things don’t interest me. If it’s not a conversation about something substantial, I’d rather just enjoy the company I’m in. Daniel and I do that well.

    Once we’re finished with the cleaning, I start to head towards Richard’s office, but Daniel stops me by grabbing my hand gently.

    “Before you go in there, there’s something I need to talk to you about.” Daniel says to me and leads us back to the table. “I’m not sure how to tell you this, so I’m just going to say it. I think Katie is a zodiac.” My mind doesn’t comprehend what he said. Katie a zodiac? No, that can’t be. I shake my head aggressively.

    “No. There’s no way. Katie can’t be a zodiac. Sh-she doesn’t have any powers. She doesn’t know about any of this. How can she be a zodiac? Why do you think she’s one of us?” I babble.

    “When I was taking notes on Pisces, I decided to research the characteristics. They are born in late February or early March. When I saw you at the bar, you said you were celebrating her birthday. Either her birthday was that day, or it was earlier that week.” He pauses, looking at me for confirmation.

    “Her birthday is March 16th. So what? She is a Pisces, but so are millions of other people.” I argue back.

    “I also found some traits that Pisces born people would have. These traits typically come from the myths behind the constellations. In this case, Pisces would be fearful when facing something difficult alone, but if he or she works as a team, they would be brave. They’d be fiercely protective of the ones they love and skeptic of anyone new coming around their loved ones. Pisces is a water sign and the symbol of Pisces, the two fish, has a strong affiliation with water. Because of this, the Pisces born will have such a strong affinity for water that it would become a part of who they are. Normal people may or may not see these traits in themselves, but for us zodiacs, we are the embodiment of the signs as we have their power inside of us. Based on what you told me yesterday, Katie fits these perfectly.” I stand abruptly and begin pacing. He is describing Katie down to a tee. If I were to go on this alone, it would be hard to deny that she is one of us, but there are other factors to consider.

    “But she’d have her powers by now. She would have told me she had powers.” I argue again.

    “Did you tell her you had powers?” I shake my head. “She might have them and is just too scared to admit it. She might not even know she has them. I doubt you would have known if you hadn’t cut your hand that night. Besides all of that, have you ever noticed her eyes? They look exactly like her birthstone, aquamarine.” As soon as he says that everything clicks. We used to joke all the time about our eyes matching our birthstones. She also wears it all the time just like Daniel and I do.

    “Katie is a zodiac.” I say it out loud for the first time. It feels right, but there are still questions to be answered. “Why doesn’t she know about us?”

    “That I haven’t been able to figure out. I was hoping you could answer it. Was she adopted?” He asks.

    “No, at least not that either of us know of. She’s always lived with Mr. and Mrs. Holmes. As far as we know, they are her parents.” Daniel nods in acknowledgement as he stands from the table.

    “Okay, we will have to look into it further. I have to get to work, but I needed to tell you. We’ll talk more about when to tell her, but it needs to be soon. I want her to have training before she encounters the Dhedra, and we need to figure out her powers.” I absentmindedly nod my head in response because my thoughts are too overwhelmed by the new discovery. I force the thoughts to the back of my mind so I can focus on the impending conversation with Richard. I’ll worry about to tell Katie later.

    I take the stairs two at a time, eager to get this over with. I knock when I reach the door and wait for him to tell me to come in. A moment later, Richard opens the door and steps to the side waving me in. I open my mouth to begin talking, but before I can get a word out, he holds up his finger, quieting me instantly. He then points to the phone he has up to his ear. I nod in understanding and take a seat in front of his large desk.

    The office is exactly what I’d expect from a middle-aged man. There are documents, probably diplomas and accolades from years ago, lining the windowless walls on either side of me. A pair of matching bookshelves stand before me on either side of the window. The large desk looks to be made of mahogany with intricate woodwork decorating the front of it. The desk is littered with papers and post-it notes. I inwardly chuckle at the similarity of our note taking habits.

    There are two picture frames on either corner of the desk. I grab the one to my left to look at it closer. It’s a picture of a younger Daniel, probably fifteen or sixteen, and another man I don’t recognize. Daniel’s wearing a St. Louis Cardinals jersey standing in front of a stadium. He has the biggest smile on his face as he holds up a baseball, showing it to the camera. The other man is in a uniform with his arm around the young Daniel. Daniel seems so lighthearted and blissful in this picture in a way I have yet to see from him. I wish I could have known this Daniel.

    I smile and put it down before reaching for the other one. I recognize Richard, although he has much less gray hair then. He has a baby wrapped in a blanket in his arms. I assume this is Daniel. There’s a woman resting her head on Richard’s shoulder looking up at him. She has warm skin and beautiful long raven-black hair. Her eyes are the most gorgeous green I have ever seen. There’s so much happiness and love in her eyes and smile.

    “Yes sir. I’ll be gone, but my son will be here to oversee everything. Yes…six bedrooms, each with their own bathrooms, dual vanities and closets. We’ll also need a common area big enough for twenty and a full kitchen.” Richard says into the phone. He looks intently into the computer screen before him and makes a few clicks before speaking again. “Everything looks to be in order. I just wired half of the money to you. You’ll get the rest in installments and then a bonus if you can finish before the estimated date…Thank you, have a nice day” He finishes the call before placing the phone face down on the desk.

    “That was my Mary.” Richard says with a sad expression as he gestures to the picture that still rests in my hands. I quickly put it back down where I found it.

    “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” I apologize. “She was beautiful.”

    “She was my everything. She had this fire in her heart that made her love so deeply and so fiercely. When she found something she was passionate about, there was no stopping her.” He pauses when his voice cracks. He looks longingly at the picture and runs his fingers over it. A brief glimpse of pain and sadness flash over his face before he clears his throat. “Daniel is a lot like her in that way.”

    “What was that phone call about? Are you building a new house?” I ask.

    “I’m having one built, but it’s not for me. It’ll be for you and the other zodiacs once we find them all. You all need a place to live together. It’s being built on this property though.” He explains as he sits back in his chair. He takes a deep breath before starting the real conversation.

    “Kara, I wanted to have this talk with you for a few reasons. First, I wanted to apologize for what you overheard the day you woke up. I never intended for you to hear that conversation and if I had, I wouldn’t have been so careless in my choice of words. Regardless of that fact, it was tactless and inconsiderate of me to say what I had in that way.” Richard pauses but looks like he has more to say so I nod, encouraging him to continue. “Daniel told me about your past. After you told him, he found himself in a reckless situation fueled by his anger. He told me so that I could understand and help him work through his emotions. As you know, his powers are fueled by his emotions, and he was barely able to contain them. I hope you can forgive his breach in trust and won’t be too angry with him.” This doesn’t anger me, it enrages me. I told him that in confidence. I never thought he’d say anything knowing he is the only person I have ever told. I cross my arms tightly over my chest to hide my balled-up fists.

    “I am not angry with you, but Daniel knew he was the first person I ever told. I can’t and won’t hide my anger from him. It’s not something I want people to know about. It happened. I can’t do anything to change it and I don’t want the pity looks like the one you’re giving me right now.” I spit out angrily. He nods and covers his face with an all-business look.

    “I understand.” He responds in a no-nonsense tone. “I was hoping to explain what I said when you ran out a few weeks ago.” I hold up my hand to stop him before he has the chance to continue.

    “Maybe another time Richard, but I’m not in the best state of mind to have that conversation. I had promised myself that I would be open to listening and trying to accept what you had to say on the matter, but I can’t talk about that right now. If there’s nothing else,” I say as I stand up to leave.

    “Wait! I wanted to let you know that if you do have any other questions about the guardians or the council, I would be more than happy to answer them. I understand if you want to leave now, but I could tell you about my time before I came to Earth.”

    “I’m sorry Richard, but I should be going. Maybe when you get back.” I stand to leave as he nods but stops me one last time.

    “Before you leave,” he starts to say as he reaches into a drawer in his desk. He pulls out a small satchel and hands it to me. “This was your mother’s journal. I think it’s time you learn where your mother came from.”

    I take the satchel from him and hold it delicately to my chest. Tears fight their way to the surface, but I close my eyes to keep them from falling.

    “Thank you” I whisper in a small appreciative voice.

    “My door is always open. Come to me if you need anything.” I nod at him and smile before turning towards the door. “One last thing before you go. My son is a good man. He has been waiting for you a long time. He only wants what’s best for you, even if that means letting you go completely. I can’t imagine what I would have done if my Mary had asked that of me. Don’t let my thoughtless words be the reason my son never finds happiness.” With those words, I walk out the office door and head home.

                                                                                            …

    I spent the rest of the morning playing over the events from breakfast in my head. Katie is a zodiac and I have to figure out a way to tell her. Does this mean Mike is one of us? Somehow, I really doubt that. He’s twenty-two so he would have had his powers by now. If he knew about us, surely, he would have suspected I was one too. His eyes are just a normal green, but they should be a deep blue like sapphire. If Mike isn’t a zodiac, Katie needs to know. Her fated is out there somewhere possibly waiting for her. Katie needs to know soon.

    I couldn’t bring myself to open my mother’s journal. Too many emotions were warring inside of me, so I decided to wait. How did Richard get my mother’s journal? Why didn’t I find it when I went through their things? I add a few more questions to my ever-growing list. I let my anger control me instead of staying focused. I’ll have to talk to Richard again when he gets back.

    Once my anger passed, I realized I wasn’t truly mad at Daniel. Sure, it hurt that he told his dad less than twenty-four hours after I had told him, but I understood. Whatever situation he was in that he felt he had to tell Richard; I had been the one to cause it. So, I let the anger go.

    Now Katie and I are walking to our favorite spot. There’s a trail behind our apartment building that leads to a cliff which overlooks the river that runs through the rest of the town. We come here sometimes just to be alone and reconnect. The scenery is calming and peaceful. The warm spring breeze ruffles the bright green leaves. Flowers of all colors stand tall with the overgrown grass that lines the dirt trail. Birds chirp and squirrels chase each other throughout the trees.

    Once we make it to our cliff, we throw down the blanket and get comfortable, rolling up our shorts to let the sun soak in our skin. It feels good hangout with Katie. It’s been two long months since we have found the time to talk. Right now, she’s telling me about her plans with Mike after graduation.

    “We have been talking about moving in together. Do you think it’s a good idea? I don’t want to leave you without a roommate, but I think it’s time we take this next step. What do you think, Kara?”

    “Well, if you think you guys are ready, then go for it. Just promise me you’ll wait until the end of the summer. Let’s have one last summer together before you leave me.” Hopefully she’ll agree to this, so I have a little more time to tell her.

    “Of course! I wasn’t going to just up and leave you. We wouldn’t go too far. We were even looking at some of the units in the same building.” She tells me excitedly. I give her a half smile, hoping she wouldn’t read too much into it. Unfortunately for me, she knows me too well and calls me out. “What is it?” She asks deflated.

    “I just want to make sure this is really what you want. Are you moving in with him because it’s the next step to take or because you want to? Just promise me you’ll give it some honest thought and don’t just jump into it because it’s comfortable.” I plead with her. She crosses her arms and gives me a look.

    “Kara, I’ve spent the last six years of my life imagining this moment. I wouldn’t be talking about it if I wasn’t ready.” She says matter-of-factly.

    “Just make sure Mike is the one you want to do it with. He’s the only guy you’ve ever been with. Be careful is all I’m saying.” She lays back on the blanket and contemplates what I said. I follow suit and bask in the warm sun. A few minutes pass in silence and I start to drift off.

    “Kara?” Katie pulls me back before I’m too far gone.

    “Hmm?”

    “What’s going on with you and Daniel?” I sigh knowing this was going to come up at some point.

    “I don’t know” I answer honestly. “Nothing has happened between us. We fell asleep one night on the couch, but we haven’t even kissed yet.”

    “Do you want to kiss him?” She questions. Do I want to kiss him? There are times where it’s all I can think about and others I can’t imagine doing it.

    “I’m not sure. He makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, but I don’t know if I’m ready to feel them. I don’t know if I want to start something I’m not sure will even be able to happen.”

    “How do you know it won’t be able to happen? You’re the only one who can make it happen. You’re in control. From the few times I’ve talked to him, he seems to genuinely care for you. The only thing holding you two back is you.” I know she’s right, but I know things she doesn’t. With this impending war with the Dhedra, who’s to say that we even survive? I couldn’t let myself fall for him if he’s going to die. After losing both of my parents, I couldn’t do that again. I don’t think I’d survive something like that.

    “I can’t lose someone else I love. I wouldn’t survive if I fell for him and lost him.” I say gloomily.

    “Are you going to live the rest of your life waiting for the next bad thing to happen? Are you going to spend the rest of your life worrying about what may or may not happen instead of actually living it? You can’t focus on the future with something like this. You can only focus on the here and now.” She insightfully tells me. I cross my arms and deeply think about this. He is my fated. Would the gods be so cruel as to give me my other half only to rip him away before I get the chance to live my life with him? I’d like to think the answer would be no, but life is cruel. It’s unrelenting and unforgiving. You have to learn to swim with the waves or get pulled into them and drown. Katie abruptly sits up and crosses her legs underneath her as she stares intently at me.

    “How do you feel about him?” She asks.

    “I don’t know!” I throw my hands up in the air exasperatingly before covering my eyes with them. “I don’t know how to feel. I don’t know what I should feel.”

    “Well, explain it to me. How does he make you feel when you’re with him? What about when you’re not with him?”

    “Umm, well, when I’m with him, I feel comfortable, safe. I feel stronger and more secure when I’m with him. He makes me feel like I don’t have to worry about anything because he’ll protect me. I feel a jolt of electricity whenever he touches me, and it soothes me but excites me at the same time. Everything comes so naturally with him. It’s easy to joke with him, but just as easy to sit in silence together. He makes me mad a lot, but it’s getting harder to stay mad at him. Umm, I think about him sometimes when I’m not with him. I’ve dreamt about him a few times.” Katie’s face lights up in a wide grin.

    “You like him.” She states with certainty.

    “No. Maybe? I don’t know! I don’t want to!” I exclaim.

    “Why don’t you want to?” She asks confused.

    “Because things are complicated.” I say, but I have no idea how to explain to her exactly how complicated it is without telling her everything. “We both have pasts that neither one of us knows how to deal with. He’s older and in a completely different stage of his life. He’s ready to jump in headfirst, but I’m still warming up with my feet in the water. I don’t know how to date or be in a relationship.” I explain the best way I can.

    “You’re thinking too far ahead again. Slow down. He’s not asking you to marry him. Start with one date and see how it goes. If you enjoy it and have a good time with him, then just take it one day at a time. If it goes horribly wrong and you hate every second, no sweat, just don’t go for date number two. I can do your makeup and help you pick out your outfit. Everything will work out the way it’s meant to.” I sigh deeply because I know she’s right and I hate the fact that she is.

    “Okay, fine. One date, but that’s it. It’ll probably end terribly anyway.” I say, always the pessimist. Katie squeals and jumps on top of me. We laugh and talk about random things until it’s time to go. I feel lighter and happier than I have in a long time. I haven’t fully made up my mind about Daniel, but it feels like I’m taking a step in the right direction. I decide to lean into my feelings for him and see if it’s worth exploring.

    The rest of the day I spend catching up on schoolwork and lounging around. I feel content with myself for the first time since I can remember. My mother’s journal lies unopen on my nightstand, but I leave that problem for another day. I spend time with my journal, escaping to my dream world. I also decide to start my own personal journal, like the guardians’. I write down everything I’ve thought and felt since I found out about my secret life. By the time night rolls around, I’m feeling fortunate for having people like Katie, Richard, and Daniel in my life. As I’m falling asleep, I can’t help but feel eager to see Daniel again.