CATHERINE'S POV
I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Grief clung to me like a second skin, heavy and suffocating. It felt like a weight I couldn’t shake, a sickness deep in my stomach.
Have you ever experienced grief?
The kind that hollows you out, that pulls at your soul until you feel like you might fall apart? If you have, you’d understand.
A few days ago, I found out my mother had died. The news had crashed over me like a wave, leaving me numb, unsure of how to react. The shock was paralyzing, and in the days since, sleep had become a stranger. I laid still in the darkness of the room. My mind was occupied, swirling with memories of her.
I turned on my back, eyes tracing the shadows on the ceiling. My thoughts spun in a whirlwind of confusion and pain. Every time I closed my eyes, her face filled my mind. I could see her smile, hear her laughter. The way she used to hum softly while cooking, the warm feeling of her hugs, and the sound of her voice as she whispered words of comfort when I needed them most.
But now she was gone.
The memories replayed relentlessly, like a film I couldn’t turn off. And I wanted so badly to hear her voice again, to feel her arms around me, to be told that everything would be alright. Tears filled my eyes, spilling over, hot and fast, streaking down my cheeks. The ache in my chest was unbearable. It felt like I was breaking apart from the inside.
I clung to those memories, desperate for some sort of solace, but they only deepened the hollow feeling. There was no escaping it—my mother was gone, and no amount of longing or wishing would change that. I knew it. She wouldn’t be coming back. The dead stayed dead. All I had left were the memories, and the slow, painful process of learning how to live without her.
Exhaustion finally overtook me. My eyelids grew heavy, and I slipped into a restless sleep. Even as I fell asleep, my mother’s presence lingered like a ghost in the dark.
---
The day of her burial came too soon. We hadn’t waited long—there was no time. As the wife of the head pack warrior, my mother’s body couldn’t be left unattended for too long. For days, we’d prepared, but nothing could prepare me for this moment.
Dressed in black, I stood before her grave with the rest of my family. The sight of the casket confirmed that this wasn’t some terrible dream. It was real. She was really gone.
I felt like I was moving through a fog. The world around me was muted and distant. The priest's voice droned on, speaking of the Moon Goddess’s will and the mysterious ways of fate, but his words barely registered. My mind was stuck on the finality of it all.
"The Moon Goddess has a reason for everything," the priest said "Let us thank her for the gift of a new day. Let the dead bury the dead, and let the living focus on the future. May the Moon Goddess console the hearts of those left behind."
The air was thick with grief. Soft whispers and muffled sobs filled the silence between the priest’s words. My hands trembled as I stood at the edge of the grave, knowing that soon, I’d have to do the unthinkable—pour soil over my mother’s casket.
I bit my lip, holding back more tears as the casket was slowly lowered into the ground. A heavy sigh escaped me.
"Time to say goodbye," the priest said gently.
From behind, my aunt May squeezed my shoulder. "You’re strong, Catherine," she whispered.
"Thank you," I managed to say, my throat tight.
With shaking hands, I scooped up a handful of soil and stepped forward. My heart clenched painfully as I released it into the grave. The soft thud of dirt hit the wood - a sound I would never forget.
My aunt followed, her eyes filled with sorrow. She and my mother had been inseparabl. I could see the pain etched in every line of her face.
"Where’s the father?" the priest asked. "Where is the husband of the deceased?"
That was when realization hit me. My father. Where was he? I scanned the crowd but saw no sign of him.
"He’s probably too traumatized to come down," May said softly. "He loved her so much… he’s heartbroken."
The priest nodded, his eyes sympathetic.
The undertakers began shoveling soil over the grave, sealing my mother’s resting place. I stood there, numb, watching as her final resting place was covered. A soft sigh escaped me as the ceremony drew to a close. May hugged me tightly, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek.
"This isn’t the end, Catherine," she said "It’s the beginning of a new chapter. Like the priest said, everything happens for a reason. Your mother is with the Moon Goddess now, watching over you."
Her words brought a small feeling of comfort to the ache inside me.
I nodded, taking a deep breath. "Thank you, Aunt May."
She looped her arm through mine. "Come on, let’s head inside."
The house was filled with friends and family, all dressed in black. Everyone's faces was filled with sadness. For the next hour, I moved mechanically, serving food and receiving murmured condolences. The color black never felt as oppressive as it did today.
I slipped away to the kitchen, needing a moment to breathe. That’s when I overheard my aunt speaking to one of my mother’s friends.
"Where’s Ann?" my mother’s friend asked, her voice hushed.
Ann, my mom’s best friend. She hadn’t shown up, which wasn’t surprising. She’d been devastated when my mom died. She even fainted when she first heard the news. I had been looking for her too.
"I don’t know," May said. "We’ve been looking for Damon too."
Damon. My father.
I stepped forward, walking towards them "Is there something wrong?"
May took my hand, pulling me gently outside the kitchen. She glanced around before leaning closer. "I need you to find your father, Catherine. Make sure he’s okay. I’ll check on Ann after the ceremony. She’s probably at home."
"Alright," I said.
I started to feel worried. I hoped my father wasn't too devastated. I had to find him, to console him. He needed comfort just like I did.
I moved quickly through the corridor, searching for my father. My heart beat faster with every step.
Where was he?