A Bond by Marriage

Chapter 4

Gia’s POV-

At dinner, the conversation flowed among everyone except me. I picked at my food bit by bit, anticipating and dreading anyone conversing with me. Dino had a change of shirt after we arrived and now everybody acted like he didn’t just kill a man on our way here. It wasn’t a big deal. But it was time for our first dance now and that was definitely a big deal.

The music started and people bunched together around the vacant floor. I placed my hand in Dino’s and we walked to the centre, aware of everyone’s eyes on our backs, on my bare back. Dino turned me to him, one hand on my lower back and the other holding my palm in the air. We moved along with the music and I concentrated on every step. After so many years, I was glad I remembered. But my main concern was my dress. I didn’t like it, especially now. It was deep in the back and the front. Instinctively, I was looking over my shoulder, again and again, bunching my muscles, forgetting Dino could feel everything.

“Are you okay?” I nodded, my eyes on his tie knot. “Look at me when you talk, Gia.” His tone were serious.

“I’m okay. It’s just… I haven’t been around so many people in a long time. I… I never fit in.”

“You do not need to be nervous. You are above any of them now.” In the title, yes. But I knew what they all thought of me. Right at this moment, though, I wanted to know how Dino saw me. I wanted to gather up the courage which I couldn’t. So, I did what I had been doing to survive Riccardo. I seized thinking, run ahead of my fear and just let it out.

“What do you think of me?” I prepared myself to observe his reaction, even a single flinch or a look of astonishment, but I got nothing. Dino stayed in control.

“I think of you as my wife.” I knew that but I wasn’t prepared for that answer anyway. “You are the woman I chose to marry because you were the most potential. I think of you as my family,” I swallowed. “Someone I’ll protect, provide for, and someday share children with.” My breath hitched and yet he looked so calm. I couldn't hold my head high, my eyes on his. My eyes blurred, and my heart clenched. He made my life sound so easy. He put it all in one sentence; one beautiful sentence.

I felt his other hand come at my back as well. I didn’t even notice when I had pulled my hands to his chest. But I was too tired to continue this dance. “Look around, Gia,” he whispered in my ear, bringing us closer. “Every man in this room has killed at least one man in their life. But we live in a world where they are not sinners and yet a woman who decides for herself is. You can do whatever you want, decide for yourself and you do not need to explain yourself to anyone.” I stiffen in his arms. “What you chose for yourself doesn’t bother me. To the people around us, but not to me. Not to my brothers or my uncle. And I want you to know that because those are the only people who'd truly care for you.”

I was glad Dino didn’t pull away immediately after the song ended because I needed time to pull myself together. My new family wasn’t bothered by what happened to me. Dino wasn’t disturbed that I was with my bodyguard five years ago. It sounded good. For the first time, someone had said that to me. Only, what he knew wasn’t true. And that gave me hope. Could I share the truth with him? Could I have a better life with him?

“Alright there, it’s my turn now. And wedding night is still a little away,” Vittorio said, making me grip Dino’s suit tightly. It wasn’t just what he said but also that I’d have to dance with him, dance with so many men in this room. I pulled away, looked around and people were starting to fill the room getting their own feet to business. Dino squeezed my hands in reassurance and Vittorio took his place. “I don’t know if you are cold or self-conscious, but here you go,” he whispered before I felt his suit coat over my shoulders. It felt like a blessing.

“I don’t know what you mean.” I tried to play cool as the music started once again but I was definitely liking Vito more.

“You don’t need to. I got it all set,” he narrowed his eyes playfully and not in an obscene way. My new family was surprising me with each passing second.

Dino’s POV-

Vito walked over to me smirking. He had just left Gia with Riccardo and his suit coat after his dance with her. This was one of the rare moments when Vito cared about a woman without any personal motives to bed them. I hoped that would help Gia get more comfortable among us because this was what she would have to live with her entire life. And fearing us all the time wouldn’t help her.

“Your wife is fragile,” Vito said as I observed my wife. She was dancing with Riccardo but she looked just as uptight. I didn’t think she wanted to continue dancing anymore. “How long before this is wrapped up?” He asked stopping a female server for a glass of drink. “I feel hungry for some dessert,” he said, making her blush, and I focused back on Gia.

“So, what are you gonna do about the intrusion today? Don’t tell me another meet and greet.”

“No. We are past that. Pavel doesn’t want peace and we won’t propose it anymore.”

“So? Can I start planning an attack?”

“No,” I turned to him. I needed to make this clear. “No attacks, Vito. It would only enrage Pavel. We need to hit where it’ll hurt him the most. Something he won’t ever be able to recover from. Or we must do something that will end this. But no meaningless attacks from our side. That would only fuel the fire of war.”

“The war seems inevitable to me,” he scoffed.

“It may be, but we won’t start a fight unless our victory is inevitable,” I said and turned back to Gia. The sight unsettled me. She wasn’t dancing anymore. She had her hands bunched together and pressed to her chest while Riccardo held her by her shoulders. They seemed to be talking and perhaps he was comforting her, but it was clearly not working.

Riccardo smiled, noticing my approach, but Gia didn’t even look at me. “Is something wrong?”

“She is just nervous. I was telling her not to be, but…” I nodded, understanding well. Here I had married Gia to escape the virgin coyness, but she seemed worse than them.

“I’ll attend to my wife now,” I said, dismissing Riccardo. I pulled her to me and walked away from the crowd. She had danced with me, Vito, and her brother. That was enough.

“Vito, tell Umberto that we are done. The party can continue.”

“Oh, eager, are we?” He laughed, walking away.

“Thank you,” Gia whispered, and I noticed our height difference. More so now that she seemed to be engulfed in Vito’s coat. He had noticed her discomfort as well. I just didn’t understand why she’d wear something she wasn’t comfortable in. Her discomfort wasn’t the kind from wearing something uncomfortable, but rather from wearing something she hated.

“Your brother is a good man,” she said, looking across the room where Umberto was announcing our departure beside Vito.

“Just don’t say that to his face. He’ll take it as an insult.” I wasn’t even exaggerating. The confusion on her face was clear, but the crowd had already started clapping and no matter how much they already disliked Gia, nothing stopped them from embarrassing her further.

“Bed her! Bed her!” They chanted and followed us as we departed from the hall. Vito stuck to my side, hollering the loudest among them all.

“Now, she might be experienced, but don’t f**k her against the wall. Be gentle on your first night.” Vito said, draping his arm around my shoulder, and Gia lost her grip on my hand.

“Vito.” He took the signal and dismissed everybody in the hallway. Knowing he wouldn’t stop with his remarks, I opened the door and ushered Gia inside quickly.

“Oh, okay, alright,” Vito said playfully, but I was already closing the door. “Remember, no breaking beds!” There, he said it. As I locked the door, I heard him laugh, but turning around, I saw my new wife looking at me and fumbling with the coat’s sleeves.

Gia’s POV-

When Dino turned around after locking the door, I couldn’t lower my eyes as I had planned. I thought I would be able to just lie down and comply with everything he said, but now, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. I wanted to know every movement he made and be prepared for everything he did. I had started to appreciate Vittorio, but his earlier foul remarks scared me. The safety of my own room didn’t feel safe suddenly.

Dino took his coat off and moved to the couch across from me. His vest and tie came out next before he walked up to me. I stopped all my fumbling and stood rigidly. I couldn’t mess this up. I remembered my uncle’s words. I couldn't f**k this up.

Dino took Vito’s coat off me first and I felt a chill down my back, knowing well where this was going. He dropped the coat on the floor and held my chin up. He left me no choice but to look at him. He was near enough for me to look at myself in his eyes. I bit my tongue and controlled every facial muscle ready to contour itself into a look of fright. I couldn’t mess this up. He cupped my face and then his lips were on mine while the other palm crept around my waist and settled on my lower back. My hands froze at my side, my mind too busy registering his lips on mine. He prodded his tongue, inducing me to part my lips. I played my part well. I let him suck my lips, rub my back and hold my jaw. Before suddenly he pulled away and searched my eyes again.

“You are trembling,” he said, and I knew I might have already messed up. I couldn’t stay still and I was… I was quivering. I shook my head urgently, my eyes already blurring before I took a step back from him. I needed to do this right. I couldn't mess up. With hasty movements, I pulled my right hand out of the sleeve and tucked it under my arm stealing a few more moments before I'd have to expose myself.

“I’m alright, I’m alright,” I kept chanting and quickly pulled my left hand out of the sleeve as well before closing my eyes. I took a deep breath and clutched my dangling dress above my chest for the last time. I had to let it go. Without thinking, just let it go. I slowly started lowering my hand when it was stopped by another strong palm. I saw Dino frowning at me, and probably a little angry, which only made me more apprehensive. I tried pulling my dress again but he brought his other hand forward as well to keep it where it was— covering my breasts. “I—” I tried speaking.

“You are shaking,” he said, shaking his head.

“No, I’m not. I’m alright—”

“You are not alright,” he said, stepping back. “You are scared. And I can’t have s*x with you if you are scared of me.”

“No, we need to consummate the wedding.” I shook my head, dreading what mistake I might have made, but held my shoulders.

“No. Go to bed, you need the rest. Freshen up if you want, but go to bed.”

“Did I do something wrong?” I whispered and his frown deepened.

“No, you didn’t. And you look very tempting holding that dress to yourself covering your naked breasts. But it’d be wrong of me if I made you do something you don’t want to. So, it's not you, it's me," he was definitely not happy. I wanted to deny his accusation but I was struck by his gaze and his words. I looked tempting to him and yet he wouldn’t touch me. Because that is not what I wanted. I felt overwhelmed. It seemed too unreal to be real, and I waited for him to strike me instead, to grab me, grope me and have his way with me, but all I felt was his calloused fingers softly wiping off my tears. My throat constricted, I pursed my lips but Dino looked calm. He was very good at hiding his irritation. He got a weak and pathetic wife for himself and yet he held his mask of calmness.

“I’m going out on the balcony. I'll be back in fifteen minutes.” He walked away. He was giving me time to gather myself up. And probably he’d even ask me why I started crying. Would I even be able to lie to him? But I’d have to because I couldn’t tell him the truth for sure. Riccardo made sure I wouldn’t hope for it either.

I wiped my cheeks and rushed to the bathroom. I knew one day I’d have to overcome this fear. Dino had said that we’d someday share kids. It was why I was even married to him. So, I needed to overcome my fear. I just hoped I’d win it over before Dino lost his patience with me.

After a quick shower, I put on my regular night clothes before stepping out of the bathroom. Dino was still on the balcony even when it was over fifteen minutes. Was he mad now? I didn’t know and I didn’t want to know too. But I couldn’t help myself.

“Dino?” He turned and his eyes raked my body. He stepped inside and I rigidly stayed put.

“We leave early tomorrow. It’s best if you get some sleep,” he tipped his head toward the bed. I didn’t understand him, but I left that task for another day and slipped under the covers. Shocking me, Dino switched off the lights but I could still see his silhouette under the moonlight near the balcony doors. He stood there all strong and imposing, his back turned to me. I watched him as he slipped out of his dress shirt and threw it on the couch before working to get out of his pants. My blood warmed and I tried to close my eyes but I couldn’t pull them away from him under the soft light. It wasn’t until he turned around did I snap my eyes closed. Though my breathing didn’t change a bit.

I felt the mattress dip, his weight settling in. A few minutes passed and all I heard was my blood pump in my ears until he spoke, “Sleep, Gia. You don’t need to be scared.”

“I’m not scared of the dark,” I said immediately.

“Do the monsters not come in the dark?”

“They do, but I believe you’d scare them away.”

“Are you calling me an even bigger monster?” There was a real curiosity in his tone.

“No, I… I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright, Gia. Go to sleep. I’ll keep the monsters away.” He made an unofficial promise and once again affirmed to protect me. I went to sleep with his earlier words warming my heart.

I think of you as my wife. I think of you as my family. Someone I’ll protect, provide for, and someday share children with.

You can do whatever you want, decide for yourself and you do not need to explain yourself to anyone.

.

When I woke up, Dino was not in the room. Neither were his clothes. The only possibility was that he was downstairs preparing to go. So, I made quick work of showering and dressing up. This was my last day at my uncle’s house and I was both happy and nervous about starting my married life. It was looking good. I felt like I was at the edge of the cliff with a great view before me and yet worried about the ledge collapsing. I couldn't enjoy the view until I was sure I wouldn't fall.

I stepped out of the bathroom, and Dino stepped into the room at the same time.

“Good Morning. I came to wake you up.” I mumbled a greeting in return before I saw Vittorio knocking on the door.

“Permission to come in?” He walked in anyway. “Well… looks like none of you got any action last night.” My cheeks warmed.

“Vito, I warned you.”

“Sorry, couldn’t help it.”

He really couldn’t. All the while we walked downstairs, Vittorio talked about his night. But standing before my uncle and cousins, I realized, I preferred Vittorio’s talk better. The men exchanged words but Riccardo’s attention remained on me throughout the breakfast.

“Everything happened so quickly,” Riccardo’s words grabbed everybody’s attention. We were ready to leave when he slid beside me again. “I almost cannot believe Gia won’t live among us now. But…” he pulled a small box out of his suit pocket and walked to me. “I got you a little gift.” I took his little gift and stiffened as he pulled me to him. “I’m so very upset that you are his now, but you must remember you won’t ever be his completely. So, there is a little something inside the box to have you remember that always,” he said, nuzzling in my hair, and I overheard uncle Umberto talking about how Riccardo and I had always been close. My eyes found Dino’s for an unfathomable reason and I saw him standing as calm as everybody else. “You will remember, won’t you?” I nodded, exhaling. "And this is our secret. Don't let him have a peek."

Pulling away, Riccardo winked and brushed my tears away. Even my last few moments were going to be no better in this house. Riccardo placed a kiss on my forehead and held my hand before we walked toward the others hand-in-hand. It was only when Dino stretched his palm out did I feel relief flood my body. He didn’t know this, but he was already taking me away from the worst kind of monster.

“We’ll leave now,” Dino said, pulling me to him, and securing his hand on my back. And those few words became my favourite. Those few words set the mark of my freedom. More freedom than I could have ever hoped for.