Seasons of Chances and Love 3: Promised Love In Autumn

A Painful Wish

CHAPTER 4

Pok.

Tennis was one of her ways to get her mind out of those thoughts disturbing her these past few days. The other was training... in martial arts and lance-wielding. At that point, she preferred to do the former.

Pok.

When was the last time she got this frustrated over her emotions?

Pok.

When did it become this hard to deal with?

Pok.

Was loving Oishi proved to be something so hard?

Pok.

Could there be a way for her to deal with her feelings without risking their friendship in any way at all?

Pok.

As Kana hit the ball towards the wall, her mind seemed to be losing track of what was around her. She was supposed to be concentrating for the Kantou Finals but she was starting to lose it the moment she remembered the event two days ago. It was Saturday but the girls' and the boys' tennis teams had practice that day.

A wry smile curved her lips as she let the ball sailed passed her after hitting it towards the wall with seemingly all the strength she got.

I guess it's already hopeless, huh?

Without knowing, tears fell from her eyes as she took out another ball from her skirt's pocket.

-x-x-

"Are you just going to stand there, Oishi-kun?"

Oishi winced and sharply turned his head towards the person who spoke those words. To his surprise, though, the one who spoke was a senpai of his. It was the captain of the girls' tennis team-Hirota Asami.

"Something happened between you two, doesn't it?" It was said in a statement rather a question in his opinion.

Of course, he was surprised to hear that. As far as he knew, no one was at the corridor when the event happened. And now, he was having a hard time approaching Kana because of it. Thankfully, he was able to concentrate on his practice since he was one of the reserve players. It wasn't exactly that easy but he managed to do so.

After all, he had to do his best even though he wasn't actually a regular. Being at the top of the tennis' food chain now that they were all in high school wasn't exactly that simple. And it wasn't going to happen in an instant, as well.

Setting that aside for now, he had other things to think about besides tennis.

"Whatever it is that bothers the two of you, please do try your best to fix it. I don't want one of my team's pillars to break down because of it. And as much as possible, fix it before the Kantou Finals."

Asami was about to turn around and leave when Oishi suddenly decided to call out her attention. Of course, he did it as discreet as he could.

"Hirota-senpai... Can I... talk to you for a while? If you don't have anything to do, that is. I don't want to hold you back to whatever it is that you have to do."

The girl smiled at that and faced him. "Asami-senpai would be fine."

Oishi blinked. "But..."

"I'm more used to people calling me by my first name. I wish you would do the same." She looked around the area and found out that no one else but the two of them were there. "I guess this will be a fine place for us to talk."

"Are you sure? I mean... don't you have anything important to do?" Oishi sounded surprised when the black-haired female tennis captain had actually agreed to his request.

"Right now, the most important thing I have to do is listen to my kouhai's problems. Especially since it's possible that it has a relation to one of my ace players." She tilted her head to the side. "Am I right?"

All he could do was to nod since it was the truth. How was it possible that girls were more perceptive when it comes to people's feelings? Was he that easy to read at the moment?

"You may begin whenever you're ready."

-x-x-

"Kana-chan, if you keep on hiding here in your room, the you'll never be able to settle whatever issues that you have with him," Kazumi stated frustratingly to the red head lying on the four-poster bed whose face was on the pillow.

"I'm not hiding; I'm thinking. I just need a room all for myself to do that," Kana replied in a muffled tone because she was lying face down. "And besides, what's there to settle? He already settled it. All I have to do is deal with it... no matter how hard."

For the umpteenth time that day, Kazumi heaved an exasperated sigh. Seriously, this wasn't the Kana she knew at all. And this was the first time she saw her this depressed. To be honest, she didn't know what to do to console her friend in any way. At this point, she was helpless and clueless on how to help Kana with this situation.

Especially at the point where Kana hadn't told her anything about the situation at all. All she knew, Kana and Oishi had a sort of argument or misunderstanding that led to one of them telling a lie. The lie spoken had hurt Kana, no surprise there.

But what could have made them say whatever that lie was?

"How long are you going to do this to yourself, Kana-chan?" was Kazumi's helpless question to her friend.

"Until my wish is fulfilled..."

Kazumi frowned. "And that wish is...?"

"I wish Shuichiro had never existed in my life at all."

"What?" Was Kana really serious about that? How did thing come to this? Was the wound that the lie had inflicted in her heart became too much for the red-haired Column to say something like that?

-x-x-

Wide eyes greeted Kazumi as soon as she told the other Columns the words that Kana said to her.

"She's not serious, is she?" Miyako asked.

"How did it come to that?" Hanako added.

"I never thought the issue would lead her to do this," Aika said sadly.

The four girls were at the Yumemiya estate after deciding to have a discussion with regards to Kana's situation. It was the day after Kazumi visited Kana at the Miyuzaki estate. But seriously, none of them had the guts to have fun like they usually do whenever they visit each other's houses. Their friend's situation far more important to discuss than any other.

"I'm actually feeling a bit hopeless about their situation," Kazumi said later with a sigh.

"And to think we can't even do something to help them. Argh! Why is dealing with a friend's love life always this frustrating?" Hanako complained as she scratched her head frustratingly-a habit she somewhat developed whenever Inui frustrated the hell out of her.

Aika chuckled at that. "So you're saying that dealing with Kazumi-chan and Miyako-chan's love lives before had been so frustrating to you, Hanako?"

"Well... I could only give advice to act as a courage and confidence booster to them. I was fine with that, to be honest. But this time..." Hanako paused. "...I don't think just an advice would be enough to help Kana-chan at this particular problem."

"First and foremost, we don't even know the issue that those two need to deal with. What could possibly be the reason for Kana to end up saying something like that?" Miyako inquired gravely.

"How worse is the issue for those two to end up like this-Kana-chan acting as if Oishi-kun doesn't exist at all?" Kazumi added.

"That act only started yesterday, right?"

"As for that-"

"Kana was already avoiding me since last week," a familiar voice cut off Kazumi's words which surprised the four girls.

When they turned around, they were half-surprised and half-annoyed to see not only Oishi but also Tezuka, Fuji, Inui, Eiji, and Kawamura with Miyako's brother Mamoru leading the 6 high schoolers.

"Onii-chan, didn't I tell you not to let anyone else enter here?" Miyako scolded her brother.

"And let them disturb me on the hallway? I don't think so, little sis. I still have a lot of things to think other than to worry about Kana. Besides, it's for the best if all of you hear the whole story from those people involved on the issue," Mamoru said with half-moon eyes as expression as he faced Miyako. "That way, I wouldn't have to worry the princess with her big brothers' love lives going haywire for along time."

Hearing the word 'princess' from Mamoru, the 6 high schoolers and Miyako had their attention caught. "Princess?"

"By the way, how is she?" Oishi immediately asked.

"She's doing fine. In fact, she's planning to come back here in Japan by April next year. Of course, she still need to settle a few things in America, that's why it would take that long before her plan could be implemented." After that, Mamoru faced Oishi. "But before you think about that, I believe you have a problem to deal with first. Make sure you fix this before you lose the chance to do so. I don't want you to make the same mistake I did."

And with that, Mamoru left the 6 guests in the four girls' case. Of course, Mamoru's words left them all baffled, with the exception of Miyako. She was looking at her brother's disappearing figure with sad eyes, most likely from remembering a sad memory.

"Nya... I wonder what your brother meant by that, Yumemiya-chan," Eiji inquired but was soon taken aback by the sad look on Miyako's face. "Yumemiya-chan, are you okay?"

Miyako smiled right after that. "I'm alright, Kikumaru-kun. I just... couldn't help remembering about the event that Onii-chan was talking about."

"Event?" Inui asked, his eyeglasses glinted at the fact that he could possibly gather data aout Miyako's brother. Of course, it could have a connection or maybe a bit of a relevance to Oishi's problem.

"Forget about it. I'm not on liberty to discuss such issues to you. Why don't we get on with the real business? That way, we'll be able to at least find a solution to this."

The 6 boys found seats in conjunction with the girls since there were two sofas in that particular room, in addition to 4 single seater sofas. Oishi, Fuji and Tezuka sat on the vacant long sofa while Iui, Eiji, and Kawamura sat on the available single seater sofas.

"But your house sure is big, Yumemiya-chan," Eiji commented before they could even start the conversation. "I bet it's even bigger than Atobe's house."

"Well, the size of the state has another purpose, that's why," Miyako replied casually, narrowing her eyes towards Fuji as a warning. The tensai just showed off his usual smile, but took Miyako's warning seriously.

When the maid had finished placing the other guests' teas on the coffee table, Oishi began telling the story of what could've been the reason for Kana to start avoiding him and act as if he doesn't exist at all.

"I think this is what made her like that to me..."

-x-x-

Kana's eyes were red, puffy, and hurting. Well, blame it to herself for crying all night-not to mention it was also extended the whole morning. But no matter how much she wanted to stop crying, she couldn't.

She knew full well that the pain she gained from her argument with Oishi made her like this. It was a pain that crushed her, completely making her defenseless ad extremely hurt. And that pain made her say something to Kazumi that had not only surprised her from within but also her friend.

But until now, a question remained unanswered to her friend-and she couldn't blurt out the answer at all.

What exactly had made Kana like this?

No matter how much she hated remembering it, her mind returned to the time where the incident started it all. And because of that, her eyes started to water and tears stung them once more.

But she didn't care...

-x-x-

10 days ago...

Practice that day was harsher than they ever thought it would be but Kana didn't mind. Being a regular, it was expected for them to have an even harsher training regimen than the non-regulars in order to be ready for the tournaments. Their captain was trying to push them to their limits in order to achieve that. Though it was undeniably tough, she didn't mind.

Anyway, the harsh tennis practice was over for the day and she headed to her classroom in order to retrieve the Math notebook that she forgot under her desk. She just remembered that she has an assignment wih regards to that subject. If she didn't do that assignment, she'd be dead.

She was already on the hallway leading to her classroom. In the process, she passed by Oishi's classroom. But her task of going to her classroom was halted to a stop when she heard various voices inside the classroom that she just passed by. The voices were somewhat familiar but only one voice surely belonged to someone she knew.

Though she didn't want to feel it, a sick feeling just started to form inside of her. Wait, maybe sick was a bit heavy for the description she was actually looking for. Nerve-wracking would probably do.

As soon as she was done taking a deep breath to calm herself, she moved towards the classroom beside her inside of going to her own classroom. But before she could even open the door, and with just a glimpse of the scene from the small glass window on the door, her hand froze on the doorknob. Her eyes widened at she gawked at the sight that greeted her from that window.

What she was seeing right now... It was a lie, right? This couldn't be real.

For her to see Oishi kissing someone else-kissing a girl-was a really huge lie, right? This could be an illusion... or maybe even a trick of light.

No, that's idiotic. But how was she supposed to explain this?

The sound of her hand hitting the doorknob somewhat startled the two people inside the room. So it was no surprise that Oishi spotted her with her eyes still wide open but gradually starting to become devoid of any emotions. Their eyes met-his green orbs to her purple ones-before she subconsciously walked away from the place as soon as she could.

But before she could even walk away fast, she felt someone grabbed her wrist and pulled her. Because of that, she was forced to stop. Oishi didn't let go of her wrist even after she stopped. In retaliation, she didn't face him at all.

"Kana, I can explain. It's not what you think," Oishi quickly said, with slight panic in his voice.

But she was in no good condition to listen to him at all. All she could think of was her heart breaking at that moment because of that horrible nightmare-ish scene (at least on her part). "You don't have to explain it to me, Shuichiro. We don't even have a romantic relationship so there's no reason for you to explain. I'm just your friend, anyway." Those words, however, became knives that delved deep in her heart. And it seemed that nothing else would ever remove it from there.

"Kana, don't be like this. At least allow me to tell you the truth."

With that, she rashly faced him with pained look in her eyes. "What else is there to tell, Shuichiro? It doesn't even matter, okay?"

What she said had somehow taken Oishi aback. "You're hurt... about what you have seen there. Aren't you?"

She looked away despite that and shut her eyes tight. "It's none of your business as to what I've felt when I saw that. So let me go."

"None of my business? Kana, why are you like this to me now? You're my best friend. I care for you, that's why I'm asking."

"Your best friend, huh?" she repeated bitterly. "That's right... That's all I'll ever be for you. Nothing else." And those words, to be honest, had totally hurt her deep down. Somehow, she was starting to resent the words "best friend", especially coming from Oishi's mouth.

Oishi frowned slightly at her words. "Kana?"

"Just let me go, Shuichiro. I don't want to hear your explanation so don't bother."

"Kana, please. Don't be like this to me," he pleaded that inwardly surprised her but chose not to show it to him.

"Let me go," she ordered with intensity. "...if you don't want me to say something you'll regret hearing from me."

Of course, what she said had obviously taken Oishi aback. That was the first time he heard her spoke like that, so it was really a shock to him. Her words hurt him to an extent and made him let go of Kana's hand.

Seizing the opportunity, Kana walked-not ran since her feet somehow doesn't want her to do so-away from that place. Wait a minute! Did she just do the right thing? Why didn't she listen to Oishi's explanation? Oh... that's right. It was all because she was hurt to the core. That one scene ruined everything. It ruined all she had held on to.

But inspite of all that, it didn't diminish the fact that she was indeed in love with Oishi. She had acknowledge that fact for a long time. However, this was the first time that acknowledging it completely would bring her this much pain. And for once, she wanted to curse love for bringing her that pain in her life.

How she strongly wished that she had never fallen in love with her best friend. Maybe that way, the pain she was feeling at that moment wouldn't be so much as if killing her, devouring her from within.

Unrequited love was indeed the sweetest hell on earth, Kana finally realized that. And that sweetest hell was given to her the day she fell in love with Oishi Shuichiro-her best friend.

The man she was forbidden to fall in love with.

Walking away would probably be the best idea to diminish that hell. And maybe... it would also diminish the pain she was feeling.

The pain caused by love-a love that she had given to Oishi alone...

-x-x-

The next day after that...

Though Kana didn't want to go to school that day, she forced herself because of the tennis practices. Besides her studies, tennis was something she considered important right now. The headache she was having at that moment was too much to bear, but she must put up a front to show that everything was alright.

But that front wasn't exactly enough to hide everything-especially if it had something to do with what happened yesterday.

Taking a deep breath, she walked the hallway going towards her classroom. Of course, it would be inevitable that she would pass by Oishi's classroom, too. But for her to feel better, she needed to walk away from there as fast as she could. What happened yesterday was still in her mind and there was no knowing how much it would affect on her activities.

However, it didn't prevent her from hearing the ongoing conversation inside that classroom. What was worst (on her part), it was a conversation between Oishi and the girl she saw yesterday. She barely had a glimpse of the girl's face but she knew it was the same girl because of the voice. No matter how much she didn't want to, it actually forced her to stop in order to listen.

Great! Was she really planning to hurt herself continuously?

"... is this really okay with you, Oishi-san? Aren't you going to do something to clear things up?" Kana knew it was the girl's voice that she heard first.

No answer came out from the other person. She couldn't help wondering what in the world could they be talking about.

"I don't know. She wouldn't even listen to me. She even ignored my text messages I sent her and she wouldn't return my calls. And I can't go to her house because I know she wouldn't talk to me, let alone see me."

Wait a minute! Were they talking about her?

"But you can't just sit here and do nothing to fix it. I wanted to talk to her, if it would help. But I want you to make a move first. I'll let you own the spotlight first before I take my turn."

"I guess it would take a long time before it happens. Not until she let me talk to her and explain everything."

"Then do something for that to happen. After all, you're in love with her, right? You have to fight for her if you really felt that way."

The next words came out softly from Oishi's mouth but enough to crush her heart further. Like it wasn't enough that the scene she saw yesterday crushed her hopes and her love for Oishi. And now this...

"...I'm not in love with her..." were the words that did it.

Hot tears flowed down to her cheeks as her hands turned limp to her sides. Good thing she managed to keep the grip of her one hand to her bag. She didn't want to create a noise that would startle those two people talking and make them look at her. But even if she didn't create a noise, the latter still happened.

Oishi came out of the room looking dejected. But surprise soon mirrored on his face upon looking up and that was when he saw her.

"Kana..." he uttered her name as if he actually... longed for her. Like he missed her so much.

But that was impossible. It couldn't be... What he said already settled it. But those words already made it clear.

It was over. It was hopeless. That was it.

Long been trained to be someone who could turn herself into an emotionless doll-rendering her unreadable, she used it almost instantly the moment she saw him. Since it was over already, she might as well do what she could to save her heart from breaking even further.

She walked towards the direction going to her classroom... without looking at Oishi at all...

Unbeknownst to her, doing so would only make their lives even more complicated than it ever was. And their hearts became the price for it.