Behind The Name [Lesbian Story]

Mismatched Feelings

Jun's POV:

~

"You guys dig in first,” I tried not to stammer, “I...,” but my voice failed me, “I need to go to the... bathroom first." I told them with a smile - a smile I knew that wasn't convincing. Turning about, I paced out of the cafeteria.

I walked down the hall, not knowing where to go. I just walked and walked, until my feet dragged me to the gym. I sighed and sat on the bleachers.

Klair was in love with someone. I felt my heart ache when she said it, like a knife through my chest. I held my chest as I tried not to cry, forcing back the tears as a lump rose to my throat. I sighed, feeling defeated, yet I don't know why I even lost when I haven't even fought yet.

Of course, the answer is obvious; Klair is a girl and surely she wouldn't even think about me. Or rather, think of even dating a girl. Knowing her, she loves fawning over guys, even though when we were young she used to be bullied by guys. I don't know how this has come to be.

"Klair..." I mumbled under my breath, leaning back as stared up the ceiling, only to feel a sudden emptiness over me.

Who was she in love with? How did he make her fall for him? Will he be good to her? Will he treasure her?

I cupped my face, feeling my head hurt just trying to find flaws about him. Him! A person I don't even know yet I already hate. I sighed, getting up and headed for the court in front of me.

I stood at the free throw line, hoping to clear my head by thinking of something else. Grabbing a ball from the side-stand, I dribbled across the court, crossing the ball between my legs as I ran for the other hoop, then finally I headed in for a lay-up and swish goes the basket.

I took the ball again and did it so at the other hoop. I ran back and forth the court several times until I heard the bell ring. I collapsed on the floor as my muscles ached as I breathed heavy.

"Klair... is... in... love." I said in between breaths, my chest heaving air like no tomorrow. I close my eyes, feeling my muscles ache all over. My attempt to get it off my mind was no good. I love Klair too much to ignore it.

What am I gonna do? I thought as I heard footsteps enter the gym. My muscles were aching badly that getting up was hard. Never in my life have I pushed my body to the edge that it was too hard to even get up.

"Crawford, what are you doing in here?" The coach's voice boomed from afar, accompanied by heavy footsteps as the crowd of students froze from his approach.

He approached me, looking down with a clipboard in hand and his arms crossed. My head was getting light while my eyes were slipping out of consciousness as beads of sweat trickled down from forehead.

My vision blurred and all I saw was coach's mouth saying something that I couldn't hear. My head pounded like a dozen hammers, unsure what caused it. I could feel my stomach growl as I open my eyes again.

Coach was still standing over me, yelling at me to get up. I forced myself to sit up, taking baby steps to pull myself up. I looked around as my ears attuned itself to the sounds around me. I could hear soft whispers from the crowd as coach looked at me with a stern, worried look.

"Crawford,” he stooped down to my level and examined me further, “Take this slip and go to the infirmary," then he sighed, handing me the slip while helping me up before escorting me to the exit. "Keep your head up, Jun."

Wiping my sweat off my forehead, I dragged my feet towards the infirmary. My body felt sore all over and it's not even practice yet. Lucky for me, the halls weren't crowded which made it easy for me to get to the infirmary.

"What can I d-" Emily, the school nurse asked with her eyes wide open in surprise.

"Hey, Em,” I greeted as I walked in, “Just need to rest." I smiled weakly at her, dragging my feet to the nearest bed as she nodded. I laid myself on bed as Emily approached me with a worried look.

"What happened, Jun?" She asked, taking the crumpled teacher's slip in my hand. I put my arm over my eyes to cover them, feeling tears threatening to escape. I tried my best not to let them, but they just couldn't wait any longer.

"I think,” I whispered a softly as I could, hoping she wouldn’t hear, “I got my heart broken."

~

Sheila's POV:

~

"I'm not sure, but I hope she's okay." I told Randy, who was eating his pizza away. Trish and him looked at each other for a moment with a worried look on their faces, making me anxious as well.

"I'll ask her." Trish took out her phone and pressed on it for Jun's speed-dial. As we waited for her to pick up, I heard a buzzing noise in front of me.

I noticed that Jun's bag was there, making Randy look at it as well. So, I'm not the only one who heard it. He opened the front of her bag, showing her phone with Trish's name flashing.

We all sighed as Trish hung up her phone, making us all even worried. I felt the need to talk to Czy all of a sudden, knowing that I can confide with him and not be questioned like Trish does. We all ate in silence, hoping that Jun would come back soon. Her food was getting cold too.

"It's almost time for next period and she's not back yet." Randy stated, his worry written all over his face.

"Maybe, she's just having a bad stomach ache?" I suggested, hoping to ease their worries. I know Jun used to have stomach pains back in elementary. So maybe it's just that?

"Maybe," Randy replied in a near mumble, chewing on his spoon as he let it stay on his lips. Trish was looking at me with concern, making me feel uneasy in a way.

The bell rang and we went to class, Trish and I had the same class so we went together. We waved Randy bye as we exit the double-doors. We left him Jun's bag since he was also in the basketball team and they share the same gym. So they were bound to meet. I sighed, wondering if she's okay.

"Hey,” Trish called out to me softly, “Don't worry about it. She'll be fine when we see her later." She comforted me. She knew the worried look I was giving and I felt that I was somehow at fault.

I wasn't. Wasn't I?

We entered the classroom, sitting at our desk as the teacher entered. As he was teaching, my mind wondered off to Jun, then to Czy. I was worried for Jun, but what I told Trish was... I was unsure.

Do I really like him that much? Pondering on this question made my heart skip a beat and feel heat rise to my face. I breathed out hoping to remove some of it.

I saw Trish looking at me with a knowing smile from the other side of the room. I just furrowed my brow at her, making her giggle softly as she looked away. Really? Now of all times?

The day went by and class was finally over. My first instinct was to go home, but I was worried about Jun. I rounded the corner to the gym, hoping to see her. As I approach the door, it swung open and revealed Randy who was already in his jersey.

"Oh, hey, Sheila." He greeted me with a warm smile.

"Hey," I smiled back, looking over his shoulder for Jun. "Is she there?" I asked, my eyes still searching for her.

"Relax," Randy said with a slight chuckle, holding my shoulders as if I was a kid. "She was sent home. The hot nurse said it was a bad stomach ache, so she had to go home. Probably needs to go to a doctor too." He explained, letting me go as I looked at him, and then sighed.

"Alright, thanks for telling me." I smiled at him as he nodded, walking with me out to the hall. I waved him bye as he went to the locker room while I head out.

I began walking to the bus stop, hoping to get home early today. I was eager to see Czy and tell him what happened today. He always seems interested in what I tell him, even if they are the tiniest little thing.

The bus left school and drove to my street after a few stops. My house wasn't that far, but I didn't feel like walking either. I went in the house and saw mom on the couch, smiling at me.

"Hey, mom,” I waved at her, “Welcome home." then I greeted her as she came up to me and hugged me. I hugged her back and she petted my head.

"Hey, sweetie,” she greeted back in a soft whisper, “Sorry for not being here last night," and apologized with a sad look on her face. I shook my head, knowing that she couldn't help it. "But I have some exciting news for you!" She continued as she led me to the couch.

I shot her a curious look, unsure whether I should be happy or angry about this. We sat on the couch as I dumped my bag on floor while mom got comfy. I could hear my heart beating rapidly from the excitement of this news. She's never told me anything like this. Well, until now.

"We're moving to London!" She squealed as she half jumped on her couch. My jaw dropped, unsure if I should squeal with her or be mad at her. I took my first option and squealed with her, faking excitement as she pulled me for another hug.

"That's... awesome, mom." I was speechless. Never have I imagined that I would live in London. All my 14 years of life, I've lived in America and dreamt of living in London. Oh, this is just too amazing.

But wait. Does that mean I have to leave Trish, Randy and Jun?

I pulled back and was still in disbelief; my mom was looking at me as I tried to feign my excitement. My mind was thinking of the three of them. I mean I haven't even said goodbye to them!

"I already packed our bags and well, we're leaving tonight!" Mom continued getting up as she showed me our luggage.

"Wait. Wait. Hold, on.” I took a deep breath as I tried not to panic, “When did you even decide this?" I asked her, confusion all over my face.

"Well, honey,” she spoke softly, “I decided it when you were at school. I thought it would be a great opportunity for both of us. Since, I know how much you've wante-"

"A great opportunity?” I cut her off as I slightly raised my voice in disbelief, “Mom, did you ever consider about my thoughts?” I questioned her as I try to hold back my anger, “If I even wanted to go?" I asked further, standing up as I held my anger even further as it slowly built up even more.

"Honey, I was only thinking what's best for us. I thought you woul-"

"I would what, mom? Appreciate it? What about school? Kelsie? What about my friends, mom?" I cut her once more while clenching my fist as I slowly glared at her.

"Honey, I was only thinking of what was best for us!" She almost yelled, shaking her head as she looked me dead in the eye. I could feel my voice about to break as a lump rose up my throat.

"I will be there often and I thought I could spend my time with you, even if I was working." She explained, walking up to me and then, hugged me tightly. "I know I'm not the best mother, but I want to spend my time with you. And I can't do that if my job is in a different country." She continued, hoping to sway my feelings.

`"What about my friends?” I nearly sobbed it out, “Can I at least tell them goodbye?" I asked as she pulled back. I know that she was trying to spend her time with me by doing this. I can't say I don't hate her for doing this all of a sudden. But I also understand that she needed this.

"You can call them. Tell them about it." She suggested, rubbing my shoulder as she smiled softly.

"Can't I just call them over? Tell them face to face?" I asked her, tears already escaping my eyes.

"We can't honey,” my mother frowned, “The car will be here soon to pick us up and well, we still need to pack some stuff,” she explained then sincerely apologized, “So, I'm sorry, sweetie."

I just sighed and nodded, making my way up to my room slowly as I try to figure out what to tell them.

"Sweetie," I stopped to look at mom. "Friends come and go. But true friends, they will stay with you even if the distance means a thousand miles away.” She told me with a small smile and hoped that I would understand. “Remember that."

I smile back and nodded, proceeding to my room as I shut the door. I sat on my bed as Kelsie jumped onto my lap. I petted her as I looked at my phone. The picture of the four of us all smiles, made my heart ache a little. I took a few deep breaths as I pushed the call button.

~

Jun's POV:

~

"Why are you avoiding Sheila?" Randy asked me; half time was still in progress for both teams. I hid under my towel as I wiped my cheek of sweat.

"Crawford! Balriche! Get your asses in the game!" Coach's voice boomed, making the two of us jump up. Randy looked at me with a worried look, before returning to his team.

As I jogged to my team, I could feel my knees aching more than it was earlier on. My arm muscles are almost numb from the pain, making it hard for me to keep them up. Coach blew the whistle twice, meaning we have to resume the game; it was girls against boys today. Coach does this several times a week, hoping that the boys shape up more than we girls do.

Apparently, the guys in the basketball team can't compare to us girls. However, the women's basketball in the state is not widely popular so we only get a few matches a year against other schools. Unlike the guys who gets them all year long.

So the game went and my body was not in a better condition. I was lagging behind the rest even though I was moving as fast as I could. The coach was already yelling at me from the side, telling me to pick up my pace. But I just couldn't.

Practice ended and we were sent to the lockers. Coach didn't seem angry with my performance. Even though I hardly did any defence, I made up for it in offense. The guys were pretty aggressive today, but they were so close to beating us today. Maybe it's because I wasn't at my fullest.

I sighed as I shut my locker, buttoning up my polo as I grabbed my bag. I walked out of the room and saw Randy waiting for me. I smiled at him, but his expression didn't change. We walked out the school together, talking about the game on how they were so close.

"Hey. It was a great game and all, but..." He lingered, looking away as I shot him a tired, concerned look. He shook his head and looked forward, making me shrug it off as we exit the school.

"What's wrong, Jun?” He asked me with concern, “You're not yourself today. You know you can talk to me about anything." He stated still looking ahead as I hung my head a little low, just not to meet his gaze. "You can trust me with anything. You know that."

I sighed, raising my wrist to look at the time. It was nearly 6 and I need to go home to make dinner. Randy is my cousin, a good friend and one of my best friend, but I don't know if I should tell him. He put his hand on my shoulder, aware that I had not spoken for some time. He looked at me with much care as the time he accepted me when I told them that I was gay. I sighed and nodded at him.

"Randy, I-" As I was about to speak, his phone rang. I looked at him and smiled weakly. "Answer that. Mine can wait." I assured him as he sighed, worry was still written on his face, but he complied.

As he picked up his phone, I waved him bye at the junction. I was going left and he was going right, he waved slowly as I turned my back at him. Not looking back, since I knew that that ring tone was Klair's.

After taking a few more turns, I was finally at home. I unlocked the house and went straight to the kitchen, dumping my bag as I passed through the living room. I sighed as I went through with my dinner and cleaned up after, leaving food for mom and dad as per usual. I went to the backdoor, hoping to get some fresh air as I sat on the footsteps.

The night air felt good on my skin, closing my eyes as I took in a deep breath. My pocket vibrated all of sudden, putting my serene moment to an abrupt stop. I took it out and immediately saw Klair's name blinking.

My heart felt a sudden ache, contemplating on whether I should answer it or not. What am I going to tell her even? My head is in so much confusion right now that I don't think I could talk to her. My hands were shaking, but it was not my phone's vibration that was causing it.

I was scared.

I stared at the screen as my phone vibrated. Hoping the call would lapse after some time and it did after another 30 seconds. But it vibrated again. I didn't pick it up and headed inside, holding it tight as I went up to my room.

I slammed my door shut then threw my phone on my bed, watching it bounce as her name blinked several times. I leaned against the door, holding back tears as I slid down. My knees were at its limits and couldn't stand anymore.

Sobbing softly, I could feel my heart just ache at the thought that she loves someone else. Dad was knocking at my door, probably from hearing me sob. Mom was behind the door too, whispering with dad about what was happening.

"Sweetie, it's us. Open the door." Mom pleaded, knocking louder at the door as I heard dad said he was going to get the key. "Sweetie, tell mommy what's wrong? Honey? Are you there?" She spoke in a low voice in hopes to comfort me.

I slowly got up, opening my door as mom looked at me with a worried look. She pulled me into a hug, my tears soaking her blouse as dad came up with keys in hand. He looked at me worriedly, coming in closer to hug me.

"Shhh. Don't cry, sweetheart. We're here for you." He comforted me. I just sobbed in mom's chest as I fell unconscious from bodily fatigue.

I woke up a few hours later, nearly 1 in the morning. It was dark, but not too dark. My lamp was open, illuminating my room partially. I could hear my mom and dad talking nearby, then heard footsteps moving towards my bed. Mom sat beside me as I tried to sit up.

"Sweetie, just lie down. It's alright." She said, rubbing my shoulder as I nodded. I lied back down and looked at mom, wondering why they weren't asleep yet. "Sweetie, what happened today?" She queried, worry was all over her face.

For a moment, I thought of what to tell them and finally, after keeping it from everyone for whole day, I finally told them. I trust my parents and they love me, that's why I can tell them wholeheartedly and they wouldn't abandon me.

"Mom. I'm in love with Klair." I stated, looking away from her as my heart began aching. "But she's in love with someone else." I continued, holding back tears as she caressed my cheek.

"Is that why you were crying?" She queried further, making me nod as I looked into her eyes. She smiled at me as she patted my head while dad came in and sat beside her. "Sweetie, it's alright that's she's in love with someone else. You just have to make her fall for you." She stated with a gentle voice as dad held her hand.

"Honey, unless you tell her how you feel, you won't know where you stand. Maybe. Just maybe. She would love you back." Dad said gently, patting my stomach even though it was under the blanket. I smiled at both of them, happy they understood what I felt. I wanted to cry, but I just sat up and hugged them both.

"I love you guys." I whispered softly.

"We love you too, sweetie. We'll always be here to support you." Mom said as she rubbed my back.

"We're here if you ever need advises. All you have to do is ask. Although, we won't advise you on how s*x works." Dad jested as I pulled back, my jaw dropping as he chuckled. Mom's face was flushed and she pinched his cheek. Dad feigned pain and gave her a puppy look, making me laugh at them.

"She finally smiled! Now, that's my girl!" Dad exclaimed as he went it to kiss my head. He bid me goodnight as mom kissed my cheek and bid me night as well. I slept comfortably all through the night, hoping to tell Klair how I feel about her tomorrow.

The next day came and my parent's dropped me off at school. It was Friday so school was pretty much shorter than the rest, since clubs are given more time on this day.

I went inside and walked to my locker, feeling my chest tighten at the anxiety of seeing Klair and finally telling her how I feel. I turned around and saw Randy. I smiled at him, but he seemed to be down.

"Hey, Randy. What's gotten you down in the dumps today? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" I asked him with hint humour in it. He shook his head, looking up to me as if I did something wrong. I was about to ask him what was wrong, but Trish hugged my all of a sudden.

"Hey! You alright, Trish?" I asked as I held her, rubbing her back softly as she let out soft sobs. Worry overwhelmed me as Trish pulled back. I wiped her tears away as she finally looked at me.

"Sheila, she... She moved away..." Trish whispered in between her hiccups.

At that moment, I felt my heart sank a dozen times over and wished that this was just a dream.