The Most Loved of All

Chapter 5-1

Chapter 5

“I don’t like the thought of being away from you, Charlie. You know this will be the first time since 1914 that we were apart.” The dream of the night before, although I couldn’t remember it, left me feeling used and ashamed, but I didn’t want him worrying about my state of mind. Restlessly, I stood. “Perhaps Mr Cramdon would be a better choice to make the trip to Cairo.”

“Howard needs Edward here in camp. You’ll be back before you know it.” He got to his feet, glanced around, and when he saw we were alone, he kissed my cheek, then ran his hand over my buttocks. I jerked away from his touch, and he looked hurt.

“I’m sorry, love. I…had a bad night. Take care of yourself, please. I worry about you.”

“I worry about you, too, Roddy. Take this.” He handed me a purse that clinked with the sound of coins. “Howard says you’ll need to buy wagons to get the men back here.”

“All right.”

“And supplies also.” He held out a sheet of paper listing everything we’d need.

I tucked the paper in my pocket and leaned forward to kiss his mouth, but he turned his head away.

“Haven’t brushed my teeth yet this morning,” he offered half-heartedly.

Was he…was he ashamed to be seen kissing me? I tried to give him a cheery smile, but it was all I could do to prevent myself from weeping. How long had it been since he had kissed me?

I was afraid I knew—since long before we’d come to the Valley of the Kings. Was he ashamed of me? Did he regret marrying me?

I walked stiffly to where Hubini, my little Arabian mare was waiting, along with Rashid, the guide who would see me back to Cairo, the spare horses we’d both require, and the donkey that would carry our supplies. I mounted the mare and flinched as my arse came into contact with the saddle. My insides felt as if something had been inserted into me, and while I was certain this sensation might be something my dream self had enjoyed, might possibly have found arousing, I only felt ashamed.

“Godspeed, little Rev.” Charlie had come after me. He rested his palm on my knee. “Stay safe, and remember I taught you how to take care of yourself.” He sounded wistful, but was he? He was backlit by the sun, and I couldn’t see the expression on his face or in his eyes.

“I will, Charlie. Goodbye. Stay well.”

He nodded and stepped back. Perhaps this separation was what we needed. Perhaps once I returned, things would be back to normal.

Somehow, I wasn’t certain if they ever would be.

I touched my heels to the mare’s sides and followed Rashid as he headed for the road to Cairo.