I don't get it at first. Precisely, I still don't get it till now. I could've fallen in love with anyone, but then my heart ended up choosing him.
Why would it choose him when I never had anything good with him at all? We always end up fighting. Shouting curses and insults at each other. Screaming at each other's faces just to make a point.
We detest each other! We hate each other!
It was worse to the point that I promised myself not to get involved with him anymore after we graduate. But boy I was wrong.
It sounds ridiculous and stupid, believe me, I thought that too, but one day, I just woke up being in love with him.
I keep stealing glances at him. Admiring his pointed nose, pale skin, cold steel grey eyes, and blonde hair.
I would make something up that'll annoy him just so I can hear his voice. I would insult their Quidditch team, so I can spend time with him betting what team will win and make the loser do the other's consequences. I could've ordered him to ask me out, but I'm not that stupid.
I know he won't like me. Why? Bloody hell, if he will.
I'm not pretty and I am not charming. I'm just smart yes, and to sum it up, which I think would make no sense at all... I'm a half-blood. Half-magical, Half-muggle. And blimey, if I forget how much Malfoy's hate Muggles. It's in their blood to hate us.
So, being stupidly smart like me, I chose to hide my feelings. Yeah, I know. Such a brilliant plan from the Hogwart's brightest tactician. Great!
"Are you talking to yourself again?"
"First of all, no, Hermione. Second, hello to you."
Shaking her head, she took a seat beside me and pull out a parchment and a quill from her bag.
"I didn't see Harry and Ron today. Even Ginny. Have you seen them?"
Shaking my head at her, I glance around the great hall, not expecting to see him staring right back at me from the Slytherin table. Biting my lower lip out of habit, I quickly look away.
"Something wrong?"
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. Just focus."
Hermione frowned at me for a moment before looking back down on her parchment.
I was trying to busy myself, so I won't stupidly lift my head and look back at him when it happened. I felt a thud on my head and quickly turn around. Caressing my head, I look down and pick up a piece of paper crumpled into a ball.
I look around the hall to find who did it and let out a frustrated groan when I see Malfoy, laughing with Parkinson and Zabini.
Clenching my fists tightly around the paper, I abruptly get off of my seat and grumpily march to their table.
"Who the hell did that?" I mumbled under my breath, trying not to scream as they laugh right in my face.
"I did it! Any problem, Mudblood?"
I want to slap the smirk off his face with the crumpled paper, but seeing him laughing like this makes my day, even though I wanted to be just mad at him
Argh! I think I'm going crazy!
Letting out a huff, I slam the paper down on their table and went back to Gryffindor's, where Hermione was currently gawking at me.
"What?" I asked, after settling myself down back on my seat.
"That's it?!"
"What d'you mean that's it?"
"No curses? No shouting? No hitting? Are you okay?"
I bit my lower lip and plop myself back down on my seat, burying my face into my hands and let out a muffled scream.
"Hermione! I think I'm 'bout to get crazy."
Hermione frowned down at me, her calculating eyes giving me a curious look.
"What's wrong?"
I drop my hand and groan loudly, grabbing her arm and pulling her up.
"Hey! Where are we going?! My stuff is still there!"
Completely ignoring her, I pull her with me back in the common room of the Gryffindor tower.
A bewildered look from Harry, Ron, and Ginny, greeted the two of us as I push Hermione inside.
"What's going on?" Harry asked worriedly, glancing between me and Hermione.
Hermione let out a huff and cross her arms across her chest. Her boyfriend, Ron, wrapping an arm around her waist.
"What happened?" he asked.
"She's being crazy! One second, she's talking to herself, and then she just grabs me and drags me here. I left my homework back in the hall." Hermione exasperatedly said.
"Are you okay?" I look at Ginny, and anxiety kick in once again.
I began pacing around in front of them, biting my fingernails, as I mumbled under my breath.
"See what I'm talking about?!" said Hermione, glaring at me unintentionally, before plopping herself down on the couch near the fire.
Ron laughs at her frustrated face but quickly shut his mouth when he notices her stares.
"What's wrong? Tell us."
I bit my lower lip once more, when I felt Harry's hand on my shoulders, before letting him pull me down on a couch.
He walks back to Ginny and they both took a sit on another couch, next to Ron's and Hermione's. All of them looking at me wearily, waiting for me to speak up.
Chewing on the insides of my cheeks, I finally let out a deep sigh and look at them.
"I think... No. I am..."
"You're what?!" I was a bit surprised when Hermione screamed, but then almost laugh when she let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm sorry, okay? I was getting anxious."
Harry and Ron shake their heads at her, before looking back at me.
"Go on." Ginny encourages me.
"I'm... I'm in love with Draco Malfoy."
"Oh, it's a boy problem... Wait!"
"WHAT?!!!"
If the common room wasn't surrounded by thick walls, I would've thought their voices had been heard by the whole school. Even I was shaken.
"If you admitted that you're in love with Neville, I think I could take that. But, Malfoy?! Seriously?!" I roll my eyes at Hermione's reaction and then cross my arms over my chest just like what she did.
"I'm not the one who pushed me to tell it."
"That's not the point here! Are you out of your mind?!" exclaimed Harry, storming towards me with a scowl on his face.
"I'm clearly in my proper mind, Harry. Because if I wasn't, all of you would be already on the floor, immobile."
"You can't blame us. Blimey! Of all the guys here in the school, why him? I mean, you always banter with each other. If someone wasn't looking, I'm sure both of you would be choking each other."
"You're being exaggerated, Ron. Besides, I would only be choking him in the bed."
All their eyes widen as they stare at me. Their jaws dropping on the floor, hypothetically.
"Bloody, Merlin!" Harry exclaimed.
"You guys are being too overacting. I think there's nothing wrong with what she feels." I grin at Ginny, and silently thank her.
"Ginny, honey. Everything that she said, was wrong. We're talking about her and Draco here. Everyone knows they're after each other's throats."
Rolling my eyes, I stand abruptly off my seat and glares at them.
"You know what? Screw you guys. I thought you'll try to comfort me, or give me some advice. But you all just criticized me."
I stomp my way towards the portrait, tightly gritting my teeth.
"Wait! We didn't mean that. I'm sorry." I stop dead on my track and turn around to look back at them.
"Harry's right. We're just worried about you. We know how Malfoy's hate muggles. We just... We just don't want you hurt in the end."
I strut back towards them and pull all of them into a tight hug, a sincere smile plastered on my lips as I pull back.
"I can handle myself, guys. Trust me. I know it's sudden of me, but I can't just tell my heart to choose another guy to love. Believe me, when I say, I tried to tell that to my heart. It didn't work out for me. For now... Let's leave it like this."
"You sure?" I smile at Ginny and nod my head.
"I promise to tell you guys if something happened. But... I think I need time for myself."
Smiling at me, they all nodded their heads, muttered some good luck, which made me laugh for a moment. It feels like I'm about to take a test by the way they say it.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I act earlier."
Shaking my head, I dismissed Hermione's apology and smile again.
I hug them again, before completely walking out of the common room, into the quiet corridor.
I then remember Hermione's homework and feeling bad that I just pull her like that, I run back into the hall.
No students can be seen in the hall the moment I arrived there. Probably, back in their dorms or the library. Doing their homework, due today or the next day.
I quickly went to the Gryffindor table and was glad to see Hermione's stuff laying there. I grab them all and was about to leave when I absentmindedly glance at the Slytherin table. Specifically, where Draco was sitting earlier.
Sighing to myself, I lowered my head and started walking, but then I bump into something.
"Are you blind?"
Or rather someone.
Lifting my head, I stare at Draco's face. His usual cocky grin plastered on his lips.
"You're being exaggerated, Ron. Besides, I would only be choking him in the bed."
I mentally slap myself for remembering such a line and let out a tired sigh.
"Not now, Draco."
I walk past him, but he abruptly grabs my arm and makes me face him.
"Are we on a first-name basis now?"
"Malfoy, please."
I felt myself flushing when he grabs my waist and pull me on his body, before leaning his forehead on mine.
I stare at him with wide eyes, watching him with his eyes close and humming. His arms still wrapped tightly around my waist.
"W-What are you–"
"Your temperature is normal, but why are you turning red?"
I put my free hand on his chest and push him away from me, feeling my face getting hotter and hotter as time pass by that I am near him. I feel like my head is about to explode.
"I-I'm fine. Why would you do that?!"
He raised a brow at my action, and push his hands deep in his pockets.
"You're weirdness is on another level today, Mudblood."
Rolling my eyes at his insult, which seems to end up as my nickname, I turned around, planning to leave him before he can notice the blush forming on my cheeks.
"Where do you think you're going?!"
A groan of pain, slip out of my lips when Draco harshly grab both my shoulders and push me on the table, my back hitting the edge of it and Hermione's stuff scattering on the floor.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Malfoy?!" I bellowed, glaring at him as I tried to push myself out from his tight grip on my shoulders.
"No, Mudblood. What is wrong with you?!"
"What?!"
"You've been ignoring me this past few days!"
"So what? Hello! We're not close! What do you want me to do? Come up to you if ever I see you and say 'Hi?'. Besides, we always fight because we don't like each other."
"I'm not playing with you this time! You stopped countering all my insults. You stopped screaming at me. You stopped wanting to cut my head off. You stopped giving me your usual glares, and instead, you keep giving me this... this... this look that always makes me want to strip you right that moment and make you mine!"
"And why are you giving such big enthrallment on that?! You never care whatever I– Wait... What?!"
Draco let out an irritated scream and abruptly let me go. I watch him frustratedly run his fingers on his hair, before wiping his face with his hands, with a mad huff.
"Draco... You're scaring me." I mumbled out, still not believing what he just said.
He let out another loud groan and look back at me. A new determined look on his eyes.
I watch with wide eyes as he struts towards me. I thought he was going to hit me, so I close my eyes, just for them to bolted widely open when Draco's warm hands found their way in my face, cupping it tightly as he slammed his lips against mine.
It was a euphoric feeling I've never felt before. His soft warm lips, enveloping mine. Syncing in unexpected pleasure. I felt dizzy but I am surely wide awake as my nerves scattered everywhere along with my messy feeling. There's a swirling feeling around my stomach. It was uncomfortable at first, but when I shakily wrap my arms around his neck, his arms leaving my face to wrap it around my waist just to pull me in his body; it settled into a calming wave of euphoria.
I entangled my fingers in his soft white-blond hair, letting out an insuperable moan as he continuously tugs at my lower lip while teasing my mouth with his tongue.
We don't want to pull away from the addicting kiss we just shared for the first time, but we need to breathe.
Draco softly pulls away from the kiss, brushing his lips in an agonizingly slow action on mine, before grinning widely.
My eyes widen when I saw how he seductively lick his lower lip as he eyes me from head to toe. I blushingly bury my head on his chest and weakly punch his chest with my fist when he chuckles.
"I didn't know you can look this hot even though you look like a mess, and didn't expect your lips to taste like a f*****g addicting drug."
"Don't ruin it with your nasty mouth, Malfoy."
"This nasty mouth just made you moan."
I let out an embarrassing groan and push my face into his robes to hide the wide blush on my cheeks.
His chuckle beside my ears was a melody. He softly makes a small circle behind my back, while he caresses my head with his other hand.
"You know what this means, right?" I started, lifting my head to look at him.
"Yes. I just kiss the girl I like and I'm about to ask her out on a date."
I bit my lower lip and shake my head at his attempt to flirt. It's working without any magic at all.
"That's not what I'm talking about, Draco. You kissed me. You kissed a mudblood."
It didn't escape my gaze. Not even for a second. I saw how his jaw clenches tightly the moment I mention the word, 'Mudblood'.
"That's only a nickname I gave you. I didn't mean that as an insult all this time. I don't care if you're a Mudblood. No one cares if you're a Mudblood."
"Your family does, Draco."
"But I am not my family! That'll be the last time that I will hear such nonsense from you. Understand?"
Rolling my eyes, I cross my arms over my chest.
"Not because I let you kissed me, doesn't mean I'll let you boss me around, Malfoy. If we want to make this work, somewhat, since we both know we can't stop each other from wanting to choke the other, we need to discuss some few important things."
Draco's scowl turned into his usual cocky grin.
"Are you challenging me?"
"No. I'm stating a fact here. And if you want to ask me out, we need to inform my friends first."
"No need. We already know."
Draco and I, quickly look at where the voice came from. My eyes widening in an instant when I saw, Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione, standing in the middle of the entrance of the great hall.
"And just to inform you two... That was gross!"
Draco snickered beside me and kiss the side of my head, not even minding that the others are watching us.
☪