Shadow of the Beast

Potions

Aunt Kate handed me the journal, and I took it back to the couch with me. I started to page through it, looking for something interesting to catch my eye. I saw some very strange things written throughout the pages - Violet's descent into madness was definitely inevitable. I saw notes and diagrams scrawled across the pages. Some pages detailed her days, like a normal, teenage journal. Others... Well others seemed more like the pages of an ancient spell book. 

She detailed the medicinal and magical uses of several plants, and spoke about how to use them to ward off 'evil spirits'. I skimmed over all of this, not paying too much attention to the obvious ramblings of someone who was mentally unwell. It felt like an uncomfortable invasion into a mind that was nothing like mine. Nothing like mine; I took some solace in that thought. 

I finally got to the page that spoke of Violet and William's relationship. 

William and his wife are fighting again. That silly b***h will never be able to give him the child he so desperately wants. His heart was made to match mine. It's destiny, our birthrite. Why doesn't he understand that the reason that he feels so drawn to me, the reason he feels the electricity when we touch, is because I was born to be his mate. He keeps telling me that I'm a child, and that he loves his wife, but I know that his heart longs for mine just as much as mine longs for his. I will lose my mind if I don't have him, I need him, crave him.'

Wow. She was intense. But by all accounts, she had been pursuing William, and he had acted appropriately? I had a flashback to the stranger in the woods, and how his touch had filled me with electricity, just as Violet described happening with William. Maybe it was some weird, gravitational or static thing that happened in this part of the world, that she'd mistaken for something paranormal? It seemed like a more plausible explanation, but even I didn't believe it for even a second. I continued to read, searching desperately for a version of events that picked up where William had left off. 

Today I went to William again. He was upset, and he'd been drinking again. I told him he would never be able to have children with Isobel. She was not his true mate, and only a true mate could bear him a child. He told me that I was crazy, and never to speak to him again. He pushed me out of his cabin! Pushed me!

This seemed to mirror what William had told me. Which meant that Violet's account of what happened next would be written over the next few pages. Sure, it might be a twisted and confused version, but hopefully it would hold the answers I'd been looking for. 

I skimmed over the next few pages, containing more 'potions' and sketches. 

I will show him that he loves me. He just needs to understand. And what better way to gain his affection than to bear him a child? I will forgive him for his behavior this morning, he has been drinking and doesn't know what he's saying. He insists on fighting me, so I will have to employ some unorthodox methods to get him into the position I need him in. I have the preparation ready to administer to him, I just need the opportunity to slip it into his drink. 

Oh my God. She had planned to drug him? She had been more crazy than I thought. I was starting to feel more like she was the predator and William was the prey, but this didn't explain why the diary had made Aunt Kate suddenly wary of William. 

Everything went as planned. I went back to the cabin, William was out fishing by the river. I knew that he had a habit of not locking the door, so I let myself in. His whiskey bottle was already out, half drunk, on the kitchen counter. I carefully emptied the mixture into the bottle, and sat on the couch, waiting for his return. 

When I heard his footsteps approaching the cabin, I knew that I would need to hide. It would not be a good idea for him to see me before the mixture took action. I managed to squeeze in under the bed, and from my vantage point I could see my plan unfolding. He started drinking as soon as he walked through the door. My poor, darling William, trying to fight his feeling by turning to the bottle. Soon, my love. Soon you won't need to hide youf feeling anymore. You will feel what it feels like to be with me, and your world will make sense. 

Quite soon, I saw that the mixture had taken effect. He was aroused, clearly, and wanted a relief. He lay down on the bed above me, and I could feel the motion of the bed as he tried to relieve himself. 

I wrinkled my nose in disgust, thinking of this old man playing with himself while my grandmother hid under the bed. 

I climbed out from under the bed, and William was in a drunken stupor. My Silly Billy, how sexy he looked, lying naked atop the bed with his erection in his hand. I said his name, guaging his reaction to see if he'd taken enough of the mixture to be disoriented and not fight me. He just groaned. My alchemy skills have certainly improved of late - he was exactly as I wanted him, sexually aroused and dazed. 

I undressed in front of him, and straddled him, and felt him fill me. This was what I'd dreamed of, giving my virginity to my true mate. I felt the electricity surge through my body, and I saw his eyes flash yellow as our bodies joined. As he climaxed, his eyes shot open. The healing.. I should have considered that when I mixed the potion. He saw my face, and threw me off him, growling and asking what I did. No matter, it's done now, and soon enough he will not be able to fight his feelings any more. As I sit in bed now, I know that I was successful and will soon have what is rightfully mine. 

'Holy f**k' I said out loud. All this time, I'd been grappling with the idea that William was a predator. But here it was, in black and white, right in front of me. It was her. My grandmother, a then 15 year old girl, had been the rapist.