Sinfully, Yours... (Completed)

Dear Diary,  Today is a new day. And I am up and awake way before I am supposed to be. It's a bit irritating to be honest, especially when I have a thirteen hour shift to go through. Again. But it's fine, I guess. Dad always used to say, "A life lived for others is a life worth living," so I will grab my decaf and go about it like I always do. With a smile.  I wonder what new will happen today... which patient will come back and which patient I might lose. It sucks but I guess that's life.  It's a bit crazy that I am writing down my journal at 6:30 in the morning but once I get into my  scrubs, there's another world waiting for me there.  So , until tomorrow probably... Yours Loving,  Scarlett... Shoving my half chewed pencil between the pages of my journal, I stared outside at the bright sky, the day brimming with possibilities. It was going to be a perfect day today. Yawning, I climbed down the bed not even bothering to try and go back to sleep. Instead, I tip-toed downstairs to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine, it's familiar gurgling comforting in the silence. "You're up early, again?" My mother's admonishing tone startled me and I shoved my face out of the refrigerator to answer her.  "You're up," I pointed. "It's hardly seven,"  "Thirsty," She replied. "Are you alright?"  "Never better," I smiled, handing her the water.  She stared at me with her piercing green eyes, the ones that I inherited and artfully tied her blonde hairs into a bun, interrogation time! "Let's get you some breakfast then, " She said, bustling into the kitchen bubbling with energy.  "Mom, it's alright. Go to bed. I'll manage," I pressed. "I was going to get up anyway," She muttered, grabbing some fruits.  "Liar," I pointed, pouring coffee for both of us. "Hey, you are controlling your sugar intake right?"  "Of course," She nodded. "So, wanna tell me why you are up early, again?" "I...well," I searched out for words pausing long enough to grab my mother's undivided attention.  "Same dream?" She asked, her beautiful face wrinkling up with concern.  "Yep. Dad. Me...same old," I tried to be nonchalant.  "Sweetheart, it's been more than a year," Mom cajoled. "You have to stop thinking about him,"  "I spent twenty-four years of my life with him," I muttered. "How do I not think about him?He just left...just like that,"  "It was an accident," Mom consoled. "You can't do anything about it. Nobody can. You have to stop blaming yourself,"  "I don't blame myself," I muttered, not looking at her. "I just miss him apart from the fact that we never found out who did that. Don't you wanna know who's responsible? Don't you miss him?"  "And will worrying about that bring him back?" She asked. "I miss him everyday. But I have got you. That keeps me going," I stared at her long and hard and realised that beneath the cool Mom facade that she has been flawlessly carrying ever since dad passed away last year, she was also the woman who lost her soulmate. The person she spent beautiful twenty six years of her life with. It was harder for her than it was for me. "No, you're right," I muttered. "I am sorry," "Nothing to be sorry about," She smiled, placing her signature chocolate pancakes with berries in front of me. "Here you go," "You have to stop shoving food into my stomach like that," I grimaced, staring at the pile of pancakes and fruits in front of me. "You and me...we both know what you are going to survive on for the next thirteen hours. So I better do my part," She admonished. "At least it would give my aging heart some peace," "Mom!" I chastised. "Alright... alright," She threw up her hands in defense. "Now finish your food," I rolled my eyes but eventually smiled. That's the thing about my mother, she knew exactly how to get her job done. By hook or by crook. "So, what are your plans for today?" I asked, trying not to be over curious.  "Nothing," She muttered, looking a little wary.  "Worth sharing," I stared at her but said nothing. Two years back, mom's life was filled with lectures and assignments and seminars and everything that came with the life of an university professor but after she was operated a few months before dad passed away for a blocked valve, her life tumbled down to the confinement of our home, one she was finding hard to accept behind the ill-disguised facade of happiness she glued to her face in order to keep me from worrying.  "Why don't you go and visit aunt Jo?" I suggested.  "Maybe, if I feel like it," She answered. "Don't worry, I will be fine," She added hurriedly. "Okay," I sighed. "Thanks for the breakfast. I am gonna go and take shower. My shift starts at 9:30,"  "Then you better hurry," She smiled.  I smiled at my poor attempt in doodling as I brushed my teeth. Cleaning the steam off the mirror above the vanity, I stared at my reflection wondering which of my parents I resembled more. I had my mother's green eyes and my dad's jet black hairs. I had my mom's curvy body but dad's high cheekbones and weirdly my aunt Jo's thick eyebrows that made me feel eternally grateful for tweezers.  I rolled my eyes and scrambled into my unassuming white shirt and jeans, ready to face the world of disappointment and hope and dismay and victory as Dr. Scarlett Wiliams, MD, trauma surgeon, a life chosen to follow the path of dedication  and commitment and empathy,  embraced by my father.  "So, ready for another adventurous long ass shift!" My best friend taunted, handing me my first of many decafs of the day.  "Josh," I smiled, giving him a hug. "Morning," Josh Morrison and I bonded over our long ass shifts as he likes to call it and even though our friendship was fairly new as far as the timeline was concerned, we both know it was going to be a long one.  "Why don't you quit this crap?" He demanded taking a long sip of his frappe, as we headed for our regular assessment. "It has antioxidants," I answered. "Good for health,"  "Bah!" He muttered. "How's your mother doing by the way?"  "Same old," I replied. "I was thinking of taking a vacation, you know. Take her out somewhere. I think some fresh air would do her good. She's having a hard time with all this no work stay at home routine,"  "Keeping with this schedule of yours, I think that's going to be impossible," He pointed.  "No, you're right," I muttered. "I have a pretty packed schedule,"  "Here's a thought," He exclaimed, his blue eyes twinkling with the excitement of the idea he was brewing. "How about you give her a surprise and book two tickets to wherever you would like her to go?" "And by two tickets do you mean you and her?" I teased.  "Ha ha...funny," He rolled his eyes. "For your mother and your aunt,"  "Oh," I said, toying with the idea. "Oh, you're right!This could work,"  "See? Genius," He grinned. "You owe me a cheese burger. Alright, I gotta go now. See you at lunch?" "Sure," I nodded distractedly, already thinking of places mom would like to go.  The greatest thing about being a doctor other than the immense satisfaction of saving people's lives was the fact that you hardly ever have a monotonous moment. There were always people to take care off, cases to worry. The day goes by in the blink of an eye.  "Hi, aunt Jo," I muttered,balancing my phone as I stared at the wending machine to grab something to eat. "How are you?"  "Rocking," She replied, ever enthusiastic. "Aren't you working?" "I got a ten minute break to grab dinner," I muttered. "So, I am in a bit of a hurry but here's the thing. Are you free from this Wednesday through next Friday?"  "I have to check, why?" She demanded.  "I planned a holiday for you and mom to Maui," I replied. "You know how she's dealing with the stay at home situation added with the fact that she's alone most of the time. I think a holiday will do her good and..." "And since you're drowning in work you want me to accompany her, right?" She completed.  "Right," I smiled. "Enjoy the sun. Have some sister bonding time, what do you think?"  "I think it's a great idea," She replied, sounding excited already. "I am in,except I need to start pestering my boss already," "Jeez, thanks!" I grinned. "It's a surprise though. You can't say anything. I will send you the details tomorrow, okay?"  "Okay," She agreed.  "This is fun!" "Thanks, Jo," I said. "Alright, I gotta go. See ya soon. Love ya,"  "Yeah, right," She scoffed and I laughed at her reaction.  "Doctor?" Lizzie one of the ER nurse called just as I cut the call and by her expression I knew it was an emergency.  "How bad?" I demanded, barging into the ER.  "Bad," She replied. "Three bullets and several stab wounds,"  "f**k," I muttered under my breath. "Move,"  The doctors and nurses hovering around the patient moved to let me in, their faces etched with concern.  "s**t!" I muttered as I stared at the unconscious patient, covered in pool of blood. He looked ghastly and I wondered how or precisely who did this to him.  "Vitals?" "Bad," One of doctors replied. "He has lost a lot of blood, doctor. Heart rate 94/min. BP 122/82mmHg and RR 18/min," "We need to operate," I said urgently. "Shift him to OR now. Oxygen standby. Blood, six units at least. What's his name?"   "Duke Collins,"  I stared at the guy and even though he was covered in blood, it was not hard to figure out that he was not a native. I decided to look into that later. Important things first.  "Move, now. We don't have much time," I barked.  "Yes doc," They nodded.  I took a deep breath as I walked into the OR greeted by the familiar beeping of numerous machines supporting the patient, wishing I hadn't eaten the sandwich. The familiar knot at the pit of my stomach every time I operated was back. I sent a silent prayer, a ritual I religiously follow to give me enough strength to save the life. The patient was ready. The doctors were ready. And so was I.  You can do it! You have done this before... I chanted the mantra, in my mind.  "Entry wound-exit wound?" I demanded, tying up my surgical mask.  "Here," Lizzie handed me the X-ray's and I stared at them horrified. The wounds were too deep. I stared at the guy and felt an overwhelming distress for him. Whoever did this really wanted him to die and in a painful way at that. I leaned down beside him, conscious that others were staring and whispered in his ears, "Stay strong. We will get you through this," --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------