Marriage For Convenience (completed)

Chapter 11

Chapter 11

If you have ever seen a decorated elephant of Asia who is bejeweled with loads of accessories and jewelry, painted and is carried along with huge drums and music playing, exactly is the synonym of Indian groom.

Yes I am giving the metaphor of elephant from Elephant parade festival for myself.

Not only am I dressed as huge and mighty, my headgear of real silver and gold with loads of glittery danglers, I feel like an elephant climbing on a horse.

Although I am a very sporty person, I am sharing this secret I have never ridden horses, and climbing the horse at the moment is scaring the s**t out of me.

I am assuming the worse. 

Why is an Indian groom supposed to ride on a wedding day?

Damn these traditions! 

What if I make a fool of myself and fall off on my short 400-meter ride to the venue?

What if the horse gets violent all of a sudden and runs off far far away?

What if the horse is bugged of being tamed and is planning to revolt and the day he chose is today, my wedding day?

My inner just teased me and walked away waving at me laughing at my tyranny.

Ass*beep* now I cannot swear on my own self, however jerk he may be.

I know I am being silly and paranoid but trust me this is more freaking than marrying for convenience at the moment.

Its not that my mom did not try giving me horse riding classes when I was eight and I wasn’t that chicken about horses then, it was the animal stink, don’t take it personally 

Apologies Animal Protection Organizations

But I did not like the smell of horse and therefore would make excuses either of stomach ache or most of the times my favorite was “I have to use washroom” as I show my two fingers pointer and the middle finger indicating that this would take time and my hour session of riding would be gone.

So after futile attempts of pushing me for horse riding, my mom gave up only after a month.

Yes she is that easy.

Now why don’t they use a carriage instead of a horse?

Sometimes I even think if the horse is more dressed than me.

Why not take him to the wedding venue instead of me?

She aka Pari can only be tamed by an animal, b***h that she is.

But the look on her face the other day when I gave her the true Spanish meaning, was priceless. Had I stayed there for longer she’d have strangled me to death for sure.

I smile at my li’l stunt pulled out there.

Well she deserves it for throwing me from the window ruthlessly

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“Hey Raj” Deya, Pari’s cousin called me secretly “Pari needs to talk to you alone, says its urgent.”

‘Now?” I asked wondering which clause in the contract would she want to change before tying the knots.

“Yes please follow me,” she said whispering.

I looked around wondering if any one notices my absence 

But it was really stupid of me.

Who’d be interested in looking for a well decked up ready for sacrifice groom when there is so much of food to eat.

And I am not exaggerating I did see my father swallowing a whole ball of gulabjamun [Indian sweet] in his mouth and then giving an appreciative twist of fingers to my uncle who too repeated the appetite.

Seriously men and their obsession with free food!

“Uh huh foot wears” Deya widened her eyes as I was about to enter the room “Don’t you know you cannot wear foot wears to temple?” she scrunched her eyebrows upset about my lack of mythological knowledge.

Damn both the sisters are uniquely arrogant.

“How’d I know you are taking me to a temple inside your house?” I rolled my eyes at her.

“Now you know?” she asked arrogantly and I ignored her entering the room and getting over with it.

The heat and the costume, yes I call this heavy wedding attire a costume because whatever dress it was, it was choking me out.

The click of the door said that the door was locked and I immediately went to open it but in vain while Deya shouted from outside “Raj thanks for the shoes for the Jhoota chupai[shoe hiding] ritual. You have to pay a huge sum if you want them back.” And they ran away leaving the trail of laughter behind.

The door was locked for sure.

I was trying to look for Pari in the dark; she sure was b***h enough to be a part of this melancholy act.

 But the eerie silence said that I was alone.

The dame cannot be quiet for so long

Soon I got restless, the thought of being in a closed room getting over me. I looked for windows but in vain. I knocked the doors loudly but in vain. I shouted her name but it was diluted with the loud music blaring outside.

Frustrated and angry beyond par I was on the verge of breaking things.

These sisters were certified bitches.

I was being good to her and helping her with the contract and she here was playing games.

Good for nothing.

I rather make her life hell in forth coming couple of years and teach her a lesson.

I know I am being too overdramatic

But had you been in closed dark door, dressed like I am and sweating in gallons I guess you would be swearing the worst.

I wanted to be out and was desperate.

I couldn’t call my parents, as it would create doubts in their minds.

Still I got the iphone from my pocket and dialed the devil herself “You couldn’t be a worse than any other bride. This is the way you treat your would be husband. I really understand if you do not like the concept of contract marriage but the joke has gone bit too far. You better have a good explanation of all this, you filthy…” I stopped I couldn’t stoop down to the level of cursing her on her wedding day even though I am annoyed to a huge extent.

“Raj” she took a deep sigh “Where are you?’

“Are you f##king kidding me? Is this some kind of joke? You wanted to talk to me and called me here and you are asking me about my whereabouts? What are you? Who are you?”

“Raj calm down, just breathe and tell me where you are?” she asked sincerely.

“How’d I know where I am? Ask your pretty ass sister.” I yelled irritated.

“Raj.” She repeated my name “I had no intentions to talk to you before the wedding, just tell me or explain me where you are.”

I was angry very angry. I had to be out so I calmed for a bit “Deya said it was a temple and it is very dark somewhere through the kitchen she lead me here. Just get here f##king quick. I swear I would…”

“I’ll be there in a bit” she said and hung the phone

SHE hung up ON me. Nobody does that to Raichand Malhotra. She’ll have to pay for it.

My inner coiled into a ball scared of my blow up.

I too gave him a ‘suits you’ nod

Clicking noise from the door said that I had rescuers.

My inner started doing a happy dance 

But it would not lift any of my sour mood.

Pari entered gracefully in her heavy bridal red and gold dress giggling uncontrollably 

Could it get even worst?

Her happy giggling requited the graph of my temper “I cannot believe you fell into the trap?” she laughed mockingly.

“I cannot believe you villagers would really be that dumb Indians. Always behaving as if you are the most intelligent ones but truth be told you guys are backward only because of what you are,” I babbled, my anger retrieving in the form of words that were to be abstained in any relationship.

But I was too far-gone to care.

My inner tried to stop me but I was too raged to listen My inner came with a glass of cold water but I rather kick him away and empty the same glass of water on his face to wipe that smirk off his face…

“Raj you need some water.” Pari said eyeing the droplets of sweat on my forehead.

If she did not like what I said she did not word it out but her facial expressions unveiled the fact.

But I was too indignant to bother.

She tried to offer me water but I walk past her furiously ignoring her and went to the place where the ceremony and the rituals were to be performed.

The sour mood that I was in, my vision was too blurred for me to notice her while we were exchanging floral garlands for Sehrabandi [indian wedding ceremony]. I ignored if I was pulled so that she found it difficult to get through the ceremony.

I did not even rejoice her adversity.

I simply wanted to ignore her for the rest of her life

I abhorred the fact how beautifully she’d adorned heavy jewelry and Indian ethnic bridal dress, the bright shining make up, her dark eyes accentuated with copper and gold dust complimenting her face and the golden diamond studded head gear that shouted elegance was doing nothing but enhancing her Asian beauty.  The red and yellow flames of the holy fire shone at her face turning her cheeks naturally pink as the artificial gloss had withered away with the cursory of the day.

But you are staring’ my inner remarked rotating his pointer on my face.

I gritted my teeth frenetically and was about to hold his finger and twist it painfully but he disappeared scared of my backlash.

“Raj” Pari whispered very quietly for only me to hear and pressed my palm softly making me realize that the rituals have already started and soon we’d be husband and wife as we circumduct the holy fire. “I am so sorry, they were hiding your shoes for the ceremony”

I swatted my hand away from her harshly making her gasp a little audibly

“Everything all right?” my mom asked.

Pari simply nodded her head, her eyes brimming with a drop of liquid.

“Me too” I referred to Pari after a while and she simply nodded.

After an eternity of the rituals and the ceremony was taking forever to finish; tired I looked at Pari who stared back at me, our eyes meeting none of us bothered about the congregators present and she smiled faintly.

I smiled back meaning “we were good”

My inner looked at me appreciatively as he pointed between Pari and me and gave a thumb up.

Why?

I did not decipher or did not want to

This was mere marriage for convenience I repeated in my head as I repeated the terms of contract or promises that I had made for her safe stay at Delhi for the duration of our convenient wedding.

`````````

The drama continued as she shed some tears while she hugged and bid her dad final goodbye “come on she is only a two hour drive away. What’s the deal?” I thought mentally

And then I remembered how restless my mom got when I left for further studies in America.

She was hauling and crying at the airport fighting with the officers to let her in to the final staircase when my dad bought national tickets for her to enter the check in area.

And if that was not enough she even did not hesitate to go to the air hostess “My son” she caressed my hair as she continued her sobbing “Going foren[foreign country] for first time. Take care, give him food, my baby” she sobbed bitterly as she hugged me tightly embarrassing me in front of the sexiest airhostess dressed in tiniest of black skirt and a dress jacket I had ever seen corrections enjoyed* smiling emoji with tongue out and a wink*

The hostess too enjoyed my woe for she actually I mean actually she’d come to me every fifteen minutes to check if I needed anything.

Well I was boasted because I felt she was checking me out.

The actual humiliation was when she was giggling and looking at me as she shared the small act displayed by my mom to her fellow hostess “Mommy’s boy” the words echoed in my head for long till I promised myself never ever take my mother to bid me goodbye.

If you do not believe the story then if you look at her now you’d completely agree because even though she is taking the bride home, she is still crying.

 Drama queen!!

My gran ma hit her forehead softly cursing the antics of my mom mouthing, “she is a nutcase” as she nodded her head in disapproval. “Bride is coming to OUR house”

A small laugh left me but I swallowed it with a cough.

Yes with the Shehnaai [musical instrument] playing a sad song laughing at the time of bidaai [good bye by the bride to her family] would really be awkward.

My inner stood with folded hands mimicking the sadness from Pari’s family.

Damn hypocrite!

``````````

“Water?” Pari asked once she was eased and away from the crooked roads of Mathura composing herself like the Bidaai didn’t ever happen.

See I do not call her chameleon for nothing!

I searched around but did not get any when my eyes landed on the pet bottle of coke that rested on the back pocket of my sedan for later use.

If you can umm.. guess why it was there because below that was another bottle of Jack Daniels hidden which she need not know 

I waved the black liquid in front of her “sorry no water” and then I called my driver “Raju please can you drop by a store for water”

“No” she shouted instantaneously “I like coke. Thanks” she said as she snatched the bottle from me, twisting the knob and pressing the tip of the bottle between her luscious, red, thick, pouted, delectable lips….

She elbowed me and I jumped as if I had been caught gawking

Blame my f##king hormones!

“You can also drink” she flushed widening her eyes annoyed at me “Don’t stare like I have stolen your candy” she pushed the bottle towards me.

‘Lucky escape’my inner mocked and I glared at him as I snatched the bottle a little too harshly then needed sucking in a huge slurp of the drink, the bubbles blasted inside my mouth calming my li’l buddy who was on hyper active mode with the small gesture by Pari.

I took a breath of relief when the car entered the familiar streets of Delhi, the traffic had died down by now for it was 3:00 in the morning, the traffic lights blinking yellow explaining the calm after the tireless drudgery of the day.

`````````

 “Whoa I win” I teased Pari once we were back home ready for another round of rituals to be performed.

These rituals were small games that the bride plays with groom and other members of the family.

“Not again gran ma” I said irritated “I am tired. I want to sleep”

‘Eager much” Sia rolled her eyes at me making Pari scarlet and my mother giggle.

“Sweetie” my gran ma said lovingly “This is not only a ritual, small games are played to welcome the new member and make her acquainted and comfortable with the members of the family so she doesn’t feel lonely.”

Now could I argue?

These rituals were really designed well by our ancestors.

But it will be bright morning by the time the rituals are done with so why do they call it Suhaag raat?[consummation night]

Where in it should be Suhaag din [consummation day]

My inner nodded his head appreciatively approving my thoughts and then made a sad face putting his thumb down saying ‘you wont get either of them’ as he rolled on the floor laughing throwing his feet in the air rejoicing my deprivation.

I was micro seconds late in throwing the punch on his face before he disappeared *Beep*

 You guys know I want to swear at him

For you to learn we were playing a game in which a huge vessel filled with milk, water and few red rose petals are placed between the bride and groom and then three rings are thrown in the amalgamation and the bride and groom are supposed to hunt these rings, the winner of the game is a declared winner of the relationship of the duo.

And I won yaaay!

“Its okay that was an apology from my part. I let you win,” she murmured winking at me.

No I won on my own, my inner argued. I pushed him slapping softly on his face away.

This was important

“I am sorry too, I spoke a bit too much” I whispered genuinely.

“No you don’t need to.” She shifted her head towards me trying to keep our conversation discreet.

“Why?” I asked nonchalantly.

“Because” she paused and then dug her sharp long nails on my finger harshly inside the bowl filled with liquid “This is a payback for that” she gritted her teeth and then smiled proudly at her stunt that she pulled.

I too bit my teeth hiding the pain.

What? I did not want others to know.

It f##king hurts though.

So while our hands were dipped in milky water the b***h was playing her own game.

“And you lost” my inner said in a sing song way, a goofy grin plastered on his face.

Wish I could pour the whole vessel on his face! Darn!!!

````````````````

“10,000” Sia demanded and was cut by another cousin of mine “Nopes 20000, not a penny less”

“Whoa is it my room or a hotel suite?” I asked as the three girls two of them were my second cousins and the third one being Sia blocked the door of my room.

“I thought you were a big businessman, cannot trade your first night with some money. What a shame!” Sia commented disappointed.

“Lols trading money for the bi**…” I swallowed my own words. ”Yeah I am not that generous you see.”

“Neither are we” Priti blocked the door with her both arms extended on both the frames ‘So stay with us.” She smiled sweetly.

“We thought you’d be tired” Sia fake yawned “And want the comfort of your room, and lots more” she did air quoting shying away to use the exact words ‘so forget it lets play Dumb Sharas”

“You guys do whatever you want to. I guess I’ll retire on the couch.” I was about to remove the stupid tons of weight turban when my mother intervened “Raj.” She warned “Come on fulfill the desire of your sisters.

“Mom” I pouted 

“Nothing saying.” She smiled at the trio “Let loose your wallet.”

`````````````

“I swear why did God even created women?

To make the life living hell for men” I was murmuring as I entered the room with Pari seated calmly on the bed decorated with white lilies and red roses designated to be crumbled by morning.

Note the irony

She had folded her legs that were adorned with the shimmery golden skirt and her head rested on her knees, as she was lost deep in her thoughts.

‘Only halo is missing’ I murmured again.

“What?” she almost jumped looking at me.

“Nothing. Carry on with your mental scheming to tarnish my life.” I gave a dramatic pause as I continued to get free of the adornments of the day, trying to breathe.

She ignored my blabbering as she walked towards the door and pushed the silver knob upwards closing it lock.

“What is this?” I couldn’t help shouting”

“I locked the door.” She answered surprised at my sudden blow up.

“We don’t need to close it.” I was about to open the lock again

“Exactly I want it closed,” she said blocking the door with her petite figure yet the elaborated glamorous wedding outfit did the rest for her.

I tried to cross her “There is no room for argument I want the door open.”

“Raj I prefer it closed.” Pari put her hands on her waist challenging me for the contradiction.

“Exactly I prefer it open” I was about to open the door  when Pari shouted 

“I am not going to rape you within the closed doors” her voice having an edge to it which was a thin line between agitation and quivery.

I opened my mouth for further argument when hysterics of laughter restrained me and Sia appeared from under the bed laughing uncontrollably “I was expecting some action but honestly” she breathed multitasking between her laughter and drivel “you are fighting already like married couples”

Both me and Pari shouted in unison “Married couples?...”