Loved But Broken

chapter 3

On the night of my birthday like any other night really except tonight I was busy mixing cake ingredients together. Chocolate cake was going everywhere. Beaters spinning so fast it was mesmerising. William happened to wander into the kitchen. He walked like a God. Peering into the cake bowl I hit 3 on the beaters as he got closer cake mix flew up and got him right on the cheek. Hiding a smile and stifling a laugh. The look on Williams face was priceless.

The smirk was enough to put me in defensive mode. He reached over with a spatula and dipping it into the mixing bowl and flung the mix straight at me. Ducking too late chocolate cake landing on my arm. Mum and dad were out Mark was still at a friend’s place. I wasn’t expecting anyone to be home. Finally pouring the mix into the pan. William helped me with the oven. Old fashioned gas oven that was extremely temperamental we had to upgrade it but were waiting for the renovations to start on the kitchen first. I loved the old charm this house had and we didn’t want to change to much at once.

The oven was no I different. Never have I been able to successfully light it on the first try tonight after three attempts I finally had it lit. William pulled the door open while I placed the pan on the middle shelf. Our hands brushed each other and the sparks I was feeling set my body on fire again. He always had this effect on me. He felt it too. Wrapping his arms around me he pulled me in for a hug. I felt safe in his arms. My heart was racing in my chest. He lowered his luscious lips to mine and fulfilled a breath-taking kiss. I’d been waiting for him to take the next step after I ran off and hid out in my room last week. I didn’t want to break this kiss. I felt like I was floating the longer we stayed connected. Finally breaking apart we both couldn’t step away from each other.

My cake was still cooking in the oven, the sweet chocolate cooking was floating straight to my nostrils. It was making my mouth water thinking of the fluffiness of each slice going down into belly. The last time I was able to successfully cook a mouth-watering wanting to go back for more slices type of cake Nan was still alive. She taught me a lot of things growing up for the short time we had her. When I first tried to bake a cake for Nan and Pa, I followed a recipe out of a kid’s cookbook I’d been award for Presentation Night when I was in Grade 1 for trying my hardest across all subjects and school activities. I started making the cake mixed the ingredients all proud of myself placed it in the oven and it never rose. It stuck to the pan like melted cheese sticks to old frying pans turns out the recipe I was following was for the icing on the cake.

Nan laughed so much at me she banned me from trying anymore recipes without her in future and tried to give my burnt icing to Patrick the dog he wasn’t a fan of my attempt to repay the kindness that Nan and Pa had shown us kids ever since we were babies. She laughed about that day every time I asked to make anything after that. Even Billie my evil brother thought it was funny. The burning smell stuck around the house for weeks after. It’s one my fondest memories of being a proper family not too many of those moments have happened since. The ding of the timer signalled the chocolate sponge cake was ready to remove from the oven. With the help from William, I managed to successfully remove the tin and contents without dropping it, a very real possibility seems my mind was floating back to the marvellous kiss I just shared with hottest man around. Even the way he held the oven door opened he looked like a mortal version of Poseidon. Men like him just did not exist in the twenty first century.

Chivalry is a thing from King Arthurs time. Even before King Arthur’s time. Chivalry was almost non-existent. Looking over at him these butterflies were going ballistic in my stomach, I wanted to kiss him and hold him close but I wasn’t sure if that’s what he wanted. The look in his eyes were telling me it was, without second guessing myself I closed the gap between us, wrapping one arm around his back and the other around his necks I brought his lips to mine again. The sparks that I felt earlier alight again this kiss deeper more passionate than the one before. More want behind it. I needed to feel him close to have his lips to mine. My body was full of electricity at his touch. I was falling for him and I didn’t care anymore what anyone thought. I knew we had to stay a secret for a while because of the age difference if we did go further than this kiss today, I would be very much consenting to every action.

Being with him like this it just felt right. Felt like we belonged together in this way. I wasn’t ready yet to take it further and he understood that he didn’t push it he just kept his lips connected to mine, sliding his tongue in my mouth and letting our tongues dance together, giving a whole new meaning to the French kiss. This wasn’t my first Frenchie but it was the first that I didn’t want to break anytime soon. The last time someone tried to kiss me like this and push it further I broke their arm and jaw. I may have had to use some force to get across to him that I said no and I meant it. William was safe from this happening though, I needed to feel his arms around me. That feeling of security, safeness, that’s what it felt like in his arms. I will never forget this feeling no matter what happens in my life from this point forward. I could see us years from now with a few kids running around. Proud to call us mum and dad but not until after I had finished my HSC and college if I get there.

My grades needed to be outstanding for that to happen and this was something I needed to work on. William broke our kiss and we stood there just looking at each other, smiles on both our faces from ear to ear they were so wide. Happiness is something you can’t really describe but, in this moment, looking at him and having him so close to me was like waking up to a freshly mown lawn it was exquisite the joy I was feeling right now. I didn’t want this time to end. I definitely didn’t want to start preparing dinner but atlas the chores still needed to be done and mum was expecting me to at least start dinner preparations after I had made my cake. Pulling away from this god of a man was difficult but I was expecting my family back home soon and he knew that too, stealing these kisses were enough to make it through to next time we can get a moment alone.

Pulling out the sausages from the fridge where mum had placed them and putting them on the chopping board to chop up and place in a pot was simple enough. However, the vegetables were a different story. I peeled the potatoes, carrots, and some pumpkin with little to no worries the exception of the pumpkin being tough like always when it comes to slicing up a hard as rock vegetable. The onions however were a whole other story. As soon as I started to peel it, I felt my eyes sting and tears form. If you ever need a cry and can’t just grab an onion it will have you crying in no time at all. William took the knife and onion away from me and finished cutting it up when everything was ready, we put it all together in pot along with some broccoli, peas, and corn kernels that mum had in the freezer.

The instructions were to cook a stew tonight mum tried to cook a hearty meal every night but this heat lately was unbelievable. The dainty little kitchen was like a hot box if you cooked to much in it you always had to have the window opened to let some cool air flow in from the outside. William came up to me handing me a damp face washer to wipe my eyes from the onion juices. I don’t think I will ever get used to cutting onions up. Placing the boiler on the stove once again William had to come to the rescue and light the stove top for me like the oven, I couldn’t light the darn thing. It always went out on me soon as I tried lighting it to turn it on. Mum and dad really did need to fix the appliances in this kitchen they were well and truly outdated. The kitchen still had an open fireplace in it, the original from when the house was first built. We didn’t use it and mum doesn’t plan on using it. The previous owners tried to modify it by putting in a wood style stove but it was too much hassle to keep the wood stocked up to it. We haven’t used it yet and I doubt mum will ever use it. Mark, Billie and I were taught how to light the fires in a fireplace from a young age particularly living with Pa as it was the only source of heat apart from extra jumpers or blankets that we had living with Pa before we came back home to Mum and Dad. Pa felt it necessary to teach us. He taught us a lot of things growing up. By the time I was ten I could change a flat on a car and trailer, by the time I was a teenager we could drive a car and reverse with a six by four trailer on it. We could chop up wood with axes or sledgehammers which ever would be the best tool for that particular stump in the scrub.

We never questioned why we were taught to, it just became second nature. Mum wasn’t around much when we were kids, she had a terrible drinking problem and Nan with Pa decided it was best if they raised us because Mum just wasn’t up to the task. Drinking was her top priority and having a decent man by her side. It took her a while before she finally met Dad and even though he has his moments and lashes out when his drunk for all the wrong reasons he always turns up for all the important events in our lives especially school functions. A few years ago, I was awarded the highest honour of Student of the Month I was so proud about it, my work and trying my hardest in all my subjects, even showing my supports with school in debating, and the school choir I was a very social student. Dad was there proud as he could be. He had two other daughters that we didn’t see or have much to do with it’s a shame I always wanted a sister and I had two step sisters that I haven’t got to know. William was watching me lost in my own thoughts he looked amused by something that must have been showing on my face as I was thinking.

Once dinner was settled on the stove, I went back to my cake which was now cool on the cooling rack ready for the icing. I hated icing I could never get it right. You would think it would be pretty simple following instructions but no this was me Sophie Louise Porter who could not for the life of her follow instructions and have it turn out the way it is supposed to. So, you could guess what happened yes, the icing turned out too runny and no matter what I did I just couldn’t get it right, William stood off to the side with a deep belly laugh laughing at my attempt to make this icing. Finally, after five extra spoons of icing sugar and cocoa and twenty millilitres of milk my icing was just enough consistency to spread it over my cake ready for candles after dinner. I smacked him on the arm with the now chocolate covered spoon for laughing at me and started another food fight in the kitchen.

Taking off through the house laughing hysterically at the look on his face was priceless. Unfortunately, his pretty quick on his feet too and he happened to have the dirty bowl in his hands, trying to duck under him to run the other direction he managed to get the entire bowl on my head. I couldn’t believe he was so quick to catch me. Lost in the moment I kissed him again. I couldn’t believe I was flirting with him and he didn’t mind I couldn’t be like this when mum and dad were around. They didn’t approve of anything that didn’t involve getting good grades in my classes at school, having a food fight was definitely not something that was going to get me good grades. I was for the first time in many years genuinely happy though. A smile that lit up my entire face right up to my eyes. Where have you been my entire life, I thought to myself. It was not long after we had cleaned up our food fight evidence that mum and dad with Mark walked back in the door. After dinner Dad said he wanted to start the renovations in the living areas within the next few months because school holidays were coming up and we would have a couple of weeks where we could help remove the old paint from walls and dad had to organise a trip up to Sydney to see his parents. We loved Gran and Pa Porter they always had time for Mark and I.