Dreaming the Storm

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

By the time Gwen went away to college when he was eleven, Evan didn’t need to hide in the closet from all the shouting anymore. He knew how to take himself away when a really bad fight got going, either to Anne’s house or just out into the yard most of the time. Gwen had told him to keep himself out of the craziness however he could, and she’d helped by leaving her bulky old portable radio and tape player.

Unless things got really bad, Evan could stuff a towel against the bottom of his bedroom door, turn up the music, and pretend he lived in a normal house without all the yelling.

Or at least a house where the yelling didn’t happen quite so often.

Everything between his parents had been quiet lately, at least while he was at home and awake. A stretch of calm over an entire weekend was unusual enough that Evan was able to dig into his homework instead of having to go to the library or to Anne’s house. Once he got comfortable at his rarely-used desk, he enjoyed the change of pace.

His usual pop music station from the city was on, but not nearly as loud as usual, and he even had the door and the window open. A warm early summer breeze floated the Major League Baseball curtains he’d gotten for Christmas into the room every few minutes. He was tempted to go out there and enjoy the day, but he was almost finished with his report for school. He wouldn’t admit it to much of anyone, but Evan enjoyed writing history papers more than just about any other homework. This one about the mysterious Cahokia Mounds, a few hours south just outside of St. Louis, was one of his favorites so far.

A stack of library books and a couple of his encyclopedias sat on the broad, scratched surface of his mother’s old desk, but Evan rarely needed to look back once he’d read about something. If it caught his attention, the facts seemed to stay in his mind forever without much effort. He swung his feet just above the ground, lost in the words and the thoughts that drove them.

Evan didn’t notice the soft footsteps out in the hall or the knock on his door. He blinked at the sound of his mother’s voice. He hoped he wouldn’t have to go to the library after all.

“Hey Ev, can I talk to you a minute?”

Megan Griffith stood just outside the door, gripping the handle even though it hadn’t been closed. She wore her usual jeans and a bummy t-shirt for a working around the house day, so she wasn’t planning to go anywhere. Her dark hair was caught back in a loose braid, and her cheeks weren’t red or blotchy like when she was fighting with Evan’s father.

She smiled, but her eyes looked tight and sad.

“Sure, hang on,” Evan said. “I’ll be right there.”

The strange knot in Evan’s belly faded when he focused on the paragraph he was in the middle of writing, then came back full force after he closed his notebook. His parents hardly ever interrupted during the rare times he did homework at home, not with something besides the shouting. He tried to convince himself that whatever his mother wanted wouldn’t be that big of a deal without much luck.

She waited in the bright, sunny kitchen, but she wasn’t reading or cooking or working on anything else she usually did. She was pacing back and forth, and Evan would have sworn she was talking to herself. She didn’t notice him at first, then jumped when he spoke.

“What’s going on?”

“Oh, hon, you startled me.”

Evan sat beside her at the round kitchen table, pale wood spotless and gleaming. The knot in his belly was bigger now. And it was twisting.

“Listen,” his mother said. “I wanted to tell you. I’m going to Chicago to visit with Gwen for a few days.”

“You’re… When are you going?”

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning.”

“But this is Saturday. I can’t miss the whole week of school.”

She looked away from him, rubbing the side of her face.

“I’m going alone, Evan. You’ll stay here with your dad.”

He reacted before he had a chance to think.

“No! I’m not staying here with him, you’ll just have to wait.”

“Don’t shout, son, please listen to me. I need to get away for a little while, that’s all. It might be good for the two of you to have some time together.”

“Good? There’s nothing good about me spending time with Hurricane Ed!”

Evan wished he could get the words back, and he could feel his cheeks burning. Gwen would kill him if she knew he’d spilled their secret name for their father. He risked a glance up at his mother, expecting her to be upset with him.

She had one hand over her mouth and her eyes were watering, but that wasn’t an angry look. His mother was trying her best not to laugh and doing a rotten job of it.

“Evan, you shouldn’t… You shouldn’t say things like that. At least not where I can hear you.” She took a breath deep enough to regain her stern mom voice. “It’s just for a few days, son. You two will be fine.”

Evan shook his head and stared out the window into the back yard, trying to keep from getting even more upset. He didn’t like to spend a few minutes alone with his father, much less a few days. He was more comfortable with complete strangers. At least the strangers weren’t always looking at him like he’d let them down somehow.

And the strangers didn’t spend so much time either fighting with his mother or not saying a word for hours on end.

“We’re not exactly the best of friends, Mom. I think he’d be a lot happier if you took me with you and he stayed here.”

“You never talk to each other,” she said, her voice barely loud enough for him to hear. “How could you possibly be friends? This might be a good chance to try.”

Evan shook his own head but kept staring out the window. He didn’t want his mom to see the tears in his eyes.

“Dad doesn’t like me, never has. No matter what I do, I’m some kind of disappointment. There’s nothing we can talk about.”

“That’s not true, hon, of course he likes you.” The sound of her voice made Evan turn around. She didn’t sound like she was lying, not quite, but she didn’t sound sure of herself either. “You just need to get to know each other.”

“Why are you so determined to go right now? Does Dad know? Are you even going to tell him?”

Evan ignored the whispery voice saying he was mad at the wrong person. He didn’t particularly care about being fair at the moment. What he cared about was being dumped and left behind. His mother leaned her elbows on the table and held her face in her hands.

“No, I’ll tell him. Don’t say anything about it. I’ll tell him tomorrow. I just need to get away for a little while.”

“Yeah, away from me.” When she turned to him, her blue eyes flashing, he knew he’d said one thing too many. For the first time, he didn’t care.

“No, Evan, not away from you, but that attitude isn’t helping. I’m not leaving you, and I’m not leaving your father. I’m taking a break, I’m leaving tomorrow, and that’s all there is to it.”

Evan’s heart ran cold at the idea of her leaving his father. What if this little break or whatever is was turned out to be something she liked? That would explain why she didn’t want him to say anything.

He had several friends with divorced parents. There were times when he didn’t understand why she stayed with Ed, but he hadn’t really considered the reality of anything else.

“Leaving Dad? Is that why you don’t want me to say anything? Is that what’s going on?”

She blinked and tried to hide it, but Evan saw tears in her pale blue eyes. He’d seen his own eyes in the mirror too many times to mistake that.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Telling him anything like this is my job, not yours. I just can’t deal with the hassle tonight.” She squeezed her lips into a line and took a deep breath. “You’re not a kid anymore, Ev. You know things have been a little rough around here lately. We’ve both been busy at work, and everyone’s trying to get used to Gwen being gone. This feels like a time to take a break.”

“I might need a break too, did you think about that?” Evan wiped at his cheeks, but he knew he wasn’t hiding a thing. “What if he decides to take it all out on me with you and Gwen gone? That doesn’t exactly sound like a break to me.”

She leaned forward and hugged him, and after a few seconds Evan stopped trying to get away. The stray tears had turned into real crying now, but he didn’t try to stop. She stroked his hair, just like when he was little.

“Come on, it’s going to be okay. There’s no reason he’d want to fight with you. Gwen pushed him as much as he did her, and you never have. You can always go over to Anne’s house, any time you need to. You’ve always done that.”

Evan sat back, grabbing for a napkin before his nose started running.

“I don’t think he’d like that very much, Mom. I wouldn’t be getting away from the shouting, not with only two of us here. I’d be getting away from him. I’m sure he’d notice if I just walk out the door.”

“Well, truth is that’s his problem, not yours.” She brushed the hair back from his forehead, something else she hadn’t done in ages. “You’ll be at school most of the time, anyway.”

“When will you be back?”

“Sometime over the weekend, probably Sunday. I can talk to Anne’s parents before I go. I’d bet they’d be happy for you to spend some time with them on Saturday. Okay?”

Evan shook his head again, but inside he knew there was no point in talking about it anymore. She was going to go, and he was going to have to deal with it. Getting more upset and yelling wasn’t going to change a thing. It never did between her and his father.

“I guess so. I’m going to go finish my homework.” When he stood, she caught him in a quick hug.

“Thanks, Evan. We’ll plan to go up together soon, just you and me. We’ll leave Hurricane Ed here by himself and see how much he likes it.”

Part II

Dreams Begin