His Mission

Numb.

I stop off at the local chemist after college and look around the shelves for something to ease the pain in my stomach. I desperately need something to numb the agony. I'm still dressed in Jake's clothes, my own still damp inside my bag.

"Can I help you?" A voice asks, directing the question at me. I snap out of my little daze and turn to face a worker in her early forties, smiling at me.

"Yes please. My brother is a boxer and he's in pain with his stomach. I wondered if you had anything to help him?" I lie, knowing I'm babbling way too much. I can't help it, I'm a terrible liar. 

"Has he been treated professionally?" She asks me, frowning a little. My eyes widen at her question and I feel my heart pick up pace.

"Y-yes but he's also been recommended to take painkillers, strong ones," I mumble quietly, staring at the floor.

"Follow me," she responds politely, disappearing down an aisle. I breathe a sigh of relief, following her in the same direction she disappeared.

"Tell him to take these three times a day after food. They are strong painkillers so no more than three," she informed me strictly. I nodded and thanked her, paid for the tablets and left the chemist. Once I was outside and around the corner, I immediately swallowed two without water. 

"Please help me," I whisper, shuffling myself in the direction of home.

*****

I'm halfway up the stairs when Trevor stops me, slurring his words once again.

"What are you wearing?" He yells up the stairs. I turn slowly, feeling exhausted from the day. Much to my dismay, my heart begins to pick up speed in fear.

Trevor is stood at the bottom of the stairs in his pyjamas even though it's the afternoon. Slob. I can feel him glaring straight at me, eyes burning holes through mine. He was clearly growing impatient, his foot tapping against the floor.

"It was raining this morning so I changed into some dry clothes," I explain myself quietly, signalling at Jake's clothes. I turn back around, wanting to escape to my room as soon as I could.

"You're filthy. You disgust me."

"What did you just say to me?" I ask, turning back around and narrowing my eyes at him.

"You disgust me. Do you let every boy have a go on you in school?" He snaps back, his eyes flashing with hatred for me. I don't miss the smirk that grew on his lips as he tore me down with his words.

I immediately feel my chest tighten with anger.

My fists clench by my sides and I narrow my eyes into thin slits, staring directly at him.

See the hatred in my eyes for you.

I can feel my chest rising up and down as anger and adrenaline swirled together, becoming dangerous. Without thinking about my actions, I spit down, aiming directly for his face. I was taught growing up that it was the most disrespectful thing to do.

That's exactly why Trevor deserved it.

My spit lands directly above his lips and slides down onto his upper lip.

"Bullseye!" I grin, feeling proud of my work. Trevor's whole body tenses up and he flares his nostrils at me, getting ready to charge like a raging bull.

I immediately turn and bolt up the remaining stairs, heading for my bedroom door. I quickly lock it, pushing the chest of drawers in front of the door.

My heart continues to pound and it isn't long before Trevor hammers on it with his fists, hard. The door threatens to come off it's hinges and I stare wide eyed at them. It's the only thing separating me from the beast. Please go away.

He's raging behind the door, screaming at me so much, I can't make out the words. I imagine him frothing at the mouth, fists slamming into the wood. He suddenly stops, silence filling the house. I can hear my heart beating inside of my ears and I frown, leaning closer to the door.

"What has she done this time honey?" Mum asks him, her voice small and timid. The fact that she doesn't stop him sickens me to the core. Imagine the person who is supposed to protect you the fiercest in this world, standing back and allowing such pain to come to you.

"I hate her!" Trevor hisses and I roll my eyes at his immature behaviour. I listen as he murmurs something else, much quieter this time. I can't make out the words but whatever he said causes Mum to grow silent. I frown deeper at the door —

What is happening?

Moments pass and I hear Trevor retreat back down the stairs, his feet slamming down hard onto the steps in rage. He's leaving me alone?

"I swear it to you, I will kill her slowly if she gets in my way again!"

My blood runs cold at his words.

My hands begin shaking profusely and I drop my bag to the floor in shock. My phone and clothes spill out but I don't care. I walk over to my bed and slide down onto the floor beside it, feeling my body and mind turn completely numb. Kill me.

The thing that disgusted me the most was that my own mother didn't disagree with him. She didn't argue back or stick up for me. A normal mother would call the police, kick him out the house in fear for their daughter's safety.

I feel bile rise to the back of my throat and run to the bathroom, nearly missing the toilet bowl. My eyes sting and I let out a tiny gasp, kneeling against the toilet for support. Tears roll down my cheek and I whimper, my entire body shaking in fright.

The constant years of a***e finally began to hit me all at once and I find it impossible to breathe. Every single beating runs through my mind, Trevor's cruel taunts and evil eyes.

I have to get away from here.

Where would I go? Trevor would find me.

I have no choice, I'm trapped.

The thought of Trevor continuing to beat me, if not worse, sends chills running through my entire body. I lay against the cold tiles, pulling my knees to my chest and shivering in fright.

"Please, let this all end." I cry out, my chest heaving with sobs. My father's face flashes through my mind and I yell out, kicking the wall opposite me in frustration. I know it wasn't his fault but I couldn't help think this wouldn't have happened if he didn't die.

"Why Dad, why?!" I yell at the bathroom ceiling, feeling my cheeks soaked with tears.

"Why did you leave me?" I whimper quietly, tugging at my hair. Despite the strands being locked around my fingers, I feel no pain. Instead my thoughts begin to swirl around my head, going so fast I can barely understand what's going on around me. I feel my sanity slipping away second by second and my heart rate goes insane from fear and anger.

My jaw clenches tightly and I tug at my hair harder, feeling anger towards myself.

Why am I not strong?

If only I could find the strength to expose Mum and Trevor but I am weak. Ever since my father left me alone in this cruel world, I began to slowly fall apart. A piece of me chipped away day by day and I had come to realise that I didn't even recognise myself anymore.

I'm a broken shell that was once the loving and fun Emily Wentworth.

Its like a sudden switch goes off inside me and I suddenly feel numb. Numb to the pain and heartache taking over my body.

The most terrifying emotion a person can feel is absolutely nothing. Feeling nothing means you simply don't care anymore. You don't care about yourself and that is more dangerous than someone holding a g*n at your temple, ready to shoot. You feel no fear, no anger, no pain.

I slump backwards against the tiles, my eyes staring straight ahead in a daze. I don't know how long I remain like that.

I don't know whether it's minutes, hours or days.

Eventually my eyes flicker shut and I see darkness. I fall into a sleep, feeling absolutely nothing.