Finally Her Turn

Chapter 23: Decision Time

Marissa

As I suspected, the middle-aged man who runs the electronics store in town couldn’t help me with my phone. In fact, he told me that to his knowledge, no one could. It’s a goner, just like I feared when I first saw how broken it is.

After that, I drove into the human town and browsed one of the storefronts for an actual wireless company, wondering if maybe one of those deals you can get when you sign up for new service might offer a good phone for a low price, but I ultimately decided to just go with another pre-paid, low-cost phone that pretty much no one I know would ever want.

Which brings me to why I’m standing here in a long line of people waiting to checkout at a register. Even the pre-paid phones at that other store were way more expensive than I’m looking for, so I left and drove to a department store instead. But what I didn’t account for is how busy these stores get on weekends. I almost regret not just paying the extra to avoid the crowd.

Marissa, I need to speak with you in my office, Alpha Kane’s voice suddenly cuts into my thoughts.

And from how faint it is, I can tell that I’m almost out of range. Plus, I’m surrounded by humans, and I don’t have any sunglasses on me.

Groaning with frustration, I abandon my mission and step out of the checkout line, leaving the phone I picked out for some annoyed employee to deal with later. I do feel bad about it, but not as bad as I feel about ignoring my Alpha. Rushing into the nearest bathroom to shut myself into a private stall is my top priority now.

I’m not currently on pack territory, but I’ll be there in about twenty minutes, I finally answer him as soon as I’m alone.

As I stand at the public sink washing my hands, the worry and fear start to creep in. I know he said that he wanted to see me later so we could talk more, but he specifically said tomorrow. I can’t imagine that it means anything good that he has suddenly changed his mind, and on today of all days. Did Owen wake up and start causing trouble? Is something wrong with Tasha? And oh Goddess, did Aly say something to him about what her mate saw? Or Devon? Maybe he mentioned what he saw yesterday.

I hurry out of the bathroom and practically run back through the store and out to the parking lot to Tasha’s car. It takes every ounce of self-control to drive the speed limit back home instead of racing the way that my body wants me to, but I do end up making it back in about the twenty minutes that I predicted. The problem is that I still have to get up to the Alpha’s office. Even so, I make sure to park Tasha’s car as carefully as I can manage, forcing myself to slow down and pay attention to make sure that I lock it behind me.

But then I speed through the packhouse like a madwoman, not pausing for anything. Which is why when I get up to the third floor, it hits me like a ton of bricks that there’s a familiar scent all through here. John. I didn’t even notice until now.

Oh no. That means that Alpha Kane knows. He called me here to remove me from the special assignment, I just know it. And though I kind of just want to fall on the floor and cry, or run to the window and fling it open so that I can scream out of it, or any number of things that are not appropriate to the situation, what I actually do is take a deep breath and a moment to push all those feelings aside. This is my Alpha’s office, and no matter what is about to happen to me, I can’t let myself lose it in there.

Aly opens the door for me mid-knock, and she stands there grinning at me instead of letting me in.

“I wish you would have told me, but I’m still so happy for you,” she whispers.

Well, I’m glad one of us is happy and seems to know what’s going on. But wait, if she’s happy about whatever this is, I suppose that rules out some of the scarier options. And introduces some even scarier ones, judging by how John’s scent has only gotten stronger since she opened the door.

She steps back and ushers me in, and I have to work at keeping my eyes on Alpha Kane because otherwise I might just pass out. This room is filled with people, and I still can’t make any sense of what’s going on.

“If you all wouldn’t mind excusing us, I need to speak with my warrior alone for a moment,” Alpha Kane says, looking straight at me.

This whole thing just keeps getting stranger and stranger.

No one else seems to mind, though. There’s a bustle of activity as various people rise from their seats and make their way out into the hall, and I feel a warm hand grasp my upper arm for a second. Just from the electric tingles I feel erupting at that simple touch, I know whose it is.

I turn and glance at John, inhaling a sharp, surprised breath when I see that he’s giving me a worried half-smile, but the big Elder that I recognize from the other day drags him away before he gets a chance to say anything.

Alpha Kane gets out of his chair and goes over to shut the door once everyone else has left, and then he turns and gestures to a seat in front of his desk. I’m happy to sit instead of continuing to stand here awkwardly.

“Do you know why I called you here?” he asks me first thing.

I don’t know whether there’s an answer he’d prefer to hear from me, or what happens if I say that I don’t, but it is the truth.

“No,” I admit uncertainly. “I thought that maybe it was about Owen, but considering everyone that just left, now I have no idea.”

“Okay,” he nods, pausing to consider that. “The young man with Elder Benjamin. You know him?”

This one’s definitely a trap. If I say no and he already knows, I’ll lose my position anyway. So, again, the truth seems like my best option.

“He’s my mate.”

“Okay, good,” he surprises me by saying. “Just checking. I can see why you wouldn’t have wanted to reveal that before now, especially considering what we were talking about earlier. You have plans for the money you’ll be getting from your special assignment. But what I’m still puzzling out is why your mate doesn’t seem to know about your intention to continue with that assignment, or the apartment you were planning to rent. Did you know that he came here today with a request for you to transfer to his pack?”

I don’t have words to say to him about that, at least not at first. I’m still not sure if I heard him correctly. Transfer to John’s pack? In Oregon?

“I, um, I mean. Not today, no. I didn’t realize … uh,” I start stammering out stupidly.

I shouldn’t even have started talking. I don’t want to reveal that John didn’t mention even a single word of this to me, but I also don’t want to accidentally agree to it. I need more time to process it.

“It’s okay,” Alpha Kane chuckles. “I’m not interrogating you, I’m just trying to get a sense of the situation. How about let’s start by going back to what you were saying earlier about your dad. What’s going on with him?”

“Uh, it’s just, ugh,” I go on like an i***t again.

And I hate myself for it. I worked too hard to get rid of the nervous stutter that Owen used to mercilessly mock me for to have it suddenly show up again, but there it is.

“Tell me this, Marissa,” Alpha Kane says gently. “You said earlier that you think your dad might need rehab. So, am I to assume then that he never did curb his alcoholic tendencies?”

“You knew about that?” I blurt out, suddenly cured of the stutter.

“It’s what got him banned from the packhouse all those years ago. He couldn’t seem to behave himself in public. But he promised to get himself into rehab, which is why I didn’t banish him outright, and I haven’t heard a peep from him or any complaints about him since. So, I thought he did what he said and got his act together.”

That’s all news to me. When the ban happened, he blamed it on me, and then he blamed it on some disagreement or misunderstanding between him and Alpha Kane. Though I stopped believing that I had anything to do with it about when I came of age and was invited to the dorms, the part about bad blood between them still kind of made sense. The part about banishment and rehab I’ve never even heard before.

“How bad is it?” Alpha Kane asks after I’ve been quiet a moment.

“Bad,” I admit, not seeing any reason not to anymore. He already seems to know everything, and I did ask for his help. “He’s a whole other person than when he’s sober, and I haven’t seen him sober since I was about fifteen. When I got home Friday, he’d sold off just about everything in the house to afford his habit without me here to pay for it, and the rest of the house was just completely destroyed. He was mad that I left.”

He gives me another of those long looks that feels like he’s staring right into my soul, until finally he nods and says, “Okay. I’ll pay him a visit tomorrow and see if I can assess the situation. I’ll make sure that he’s taken care of, Marissa, I promise you that. Quite honestly, I should have been making sure of it long before now, but I let my personal feelings about him get in the way. That wasn’t fair to you, and I’m truly sorry for that.”

“No, don’t be,” I tell him, suddenly fighting back a strange wave of emotion that I don’t entirely understand. “He wasn’t your responsibility, and he shouldn’t be now either, but I just can’t do it anymore.”

“No, Marissa, he was. I’m the Alpha, and he’s part of my pack. Who should never have been responsible for him is you, and I absolutely owe you an apology for that. You’ve just always seemed to be doing so well, and I let myself keep my blinders on through it. I should have seen it sooner, though. I see it now, but I should have seen it sooner.”

“It’s okay,” I try to assure him, but mostly because I’d rather not have to talk about it anymore. He already told me what I wanted to hear, and I’m ready to be done with it now.

“Okay, I’ll stop burdening you with my guilty conscience,” he chuckles again, though he sounds strangely tense doing it. “So, I suppose that brings us back to the current order of business. Even if you didn’t know that it would be happening today, am I correct to assume that you are interested in transferring to Crescent’s Boon to be with your mate?”

Oh, right. That’s why we’re here isn’t it. I really don’t know my answer though. Part of me is annoyed and maybe even angry that John didn’t bother to tell me that he’d made this decision on my behalf, and that part of me wants to flat-out refuse. But another, growing part of me is beginning to see the opportunity that’s staring me in the face. There’s no Owen at Crescent’s Boon. No mate-stealer. No stupid, stuttering freak. Only a clean slate and a fresh start.

“I’m not going to stop you if you are, though I will say that if you do choose to go now, then don’t worry about the rest of your assignment,” Alpha Kane continues even though I haven’t responded. “Ryan is fully recovered from his injury and ready to step in, so your spot will be covered. Your p*****t for the first part was already transferred to your personal account yesterday, and whatever is left in your expense account can be transferred first thing Monday. I know that it probably changes your apartment plans if you won’t be staying, but I’m sure that having those funds will help tide you over through whatever transitional period there may be between leaving here and starting a new position there.”

“Would I still have the same job if I transferred there?” I ask him, and then recoil with horror when I realize that I interrupted him.

But he doesn’t seem bothered by it, and only pauses what he’s saying to consider an answer to my question.

“I don’t know all the specifics about what things are like at Crescent’s Boon, but I would imagine it won’t be too different. I’ll send over your records and a letter of recommendation for you, which should help them figure out where to place you. One thing I will say is that whenever I get a new warrior from a different pack, one of the first things I do is put them to the test because no two pack’s standards are the same. So, just be ready for that.”

Well, that part’s terrifying. Plus, it will mean leaving Tasha behind, and then there’s the fact that I’ve never even talked to John in person before. Am I really considering leaving everything familiar for a man who is basically a stranger?

“Are you ready to decide?” Alpha Kane asks me a moment later, cutting into my troubled thoughts.

No, I’m really not.

“Yes,” I tell him anyway.

“Then I’ll call the others back in here. You stay there, though.”

His eyes gloss over as he sends a mind-link, probably to Aly, and then the door starts to open only seconds later.

-

-

John

I notice that Marissa is seated just in front of the Alpha’s desk when we come back into his office, and he gestures for me to come over and join them.

“John,” is all he says, pointing to the open chair next to my mate.

I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing that Alpha Kane now knows me by name, but I know better than to refuse him anything. I want to sit with her anyway.

“I figured I should call you all back in here for this, now that Marissa and I have had a good chat about everything going on,” Alpha Kane begins, leaning himself intimidatingly against the front of his desk, which puts him a lot closer to me than I’m comfortable with.

Especially since Marissa isn’t even looking at me, and I can’t read the expression on her face.

“Marissa, all I need is a yes or a no,” Alpha Kane goes on. “Do you consent to this request for your transfer to Crescent’s Boon?”

I swallow anxiously as I wait for her response, though for a moment all we get from her is a deep breath as she collects herself.

“Yes,” she finally answers, so quietly that it doesn’t even register in my brain at first.

“Then I’m going to need your signature on a few of these pages,” Alpha Kane tells her.

And that’s when it finally clicks. She said yes!

She gets up from her chair and goes around to work on the paperwork with Alpha Kane, and I turn and glance back at Uncle Ben.

You’re lucky that a mate bond is such a powerful thing, he mind-links me. I really thought that it would be your transfer we’d be processing now.

Don’t sound so excited to be keeping me, I tell him sarcastically.

I’m thrilled, though I had hoped for there to be a lesson in this for you.

Once Marissa comes and sits in her chair again, I reach out for her hand, but she pulls it out of my reach, crossing her arms instead.

Perhaps I spoke too soon, Uncle Ben gloats.

I’m glad he’s enjoying this because I’m just confused now. She said yes, but she doesn’t want to look at or touch me?

“If we’re finished with the two of them, then perhaps John should escort his mate home so she can pack her things while we work on finalizing everything,” Uncle Ben speaks up. “Elder Stirling advised us Elders to leave New Horizon territory after concluding whatever business we have here, and my Alpha ordered the same of all his pack members. So, unfortunately, Miss Carter won’t be able to linger here any longer than the rest of us, at least not after I finish scribbling all over these papers.”

Alpha Kane locks eyes with Marissa, asking with just his expression whether she’s okay with that.

“It’s fine,” she says flatly. “It will only take me like five minutes anyway.”

He nods and comes around to meet her by the door so he can shake her hand.

“This is probably the last I’ll see of you for a while, but I wish you good luck,” he tells her.

“Thanks,” is all she says, shaking his hand about as awkwardly as I’ve ever seen.

I can’t say that I blame her, though. Her hand looks tiny next to his, and I don’t know that I would have dealt with it any better in her shoes. Worse, probably.

“Dad, can I –” Aly starts to say, but her dad cuts in.

“Yeah, go,” he waves her off. “Actually, I’m probably finished with the rest of you, so you can all go.”

I find out when we all make it out into the hall, leaving just Alpha Kane and Uncle Ben behind, that what Aly wanted was a chance to hug Marissa and tell her goodbye. And then her mates and even Ryan and his mate all take their turns.

“Do you have our numbers?” Aly asks.

Marissa shakes her head. “I did have yours, but my phone is completely broken. I took it into town to see if it could be fixed or if data could be recovered or whatever, but I’m told that it’s a lost cause.”

“Well then come here so we can write them down for you to put into your next phone,” Aly commands, jogging across the hall to a different door and gesturing for Marissa to follow.

Marissa does not follow. She stands there looking at Aly as though she’s lost her marbles.

“It’s Chris’s office, and I promise he won’t care,” she laughs.

She unlocks the door with her bundle of keys and disappears inside, while Marissa remains rooted to her spot.

"He really won't care," Ryan adds his agreement.

Tyler turns and gives Marissa a questioning look, and she explains, “I’m not the Alpha’s daughter, even if Aly tends to forget that.”

“Fair enough,” he chuckles.

Aly comes back with a piece of paper in her hand and gives it to Marissa, who tucks it in her pocket without even looking at it.

“Don’t forget us, Rissy,” Aly says, and then lunges at Marissa for another hug.

One thing I’ve noticed through all this hugging and sentimental stuff is that Marissa isn’t really participating. She accepts the hugs, stiffly, but doesn’t really return them. She listens to all the sweet things people say but gives only a curt nod or a maximum of an awkward two words in response.

Tyler’s description of her from before is running through my head the whole time. Quiet, reserved, keeps everything locked inside. I didn’t realize that he meant to this extreme, though, and I can’t help worrying about her. About us, more like. How am I going to convince her to let me in?

Once her friends have finally finished with her, Marissa silently turns and starts walking in the direction of the stairs. I’m not even certain if she cares whether I come or stay, but I decide to go with her anyway.

“Rissy, huh?” I tease her as we walk, hoping to strike up a conversation between us, even knowing that my chances are probably slim.

“Yeah, don’t call me that,” she answers in that same flat tone.

“Okay then,” I respond awkwardly, trying to think of something else to say since that flopped. “Did you want to stop and get a new phone on the way back to the hotel?”

“Oh, I see,” she scoffs. “So now you’re asking for my input before making decisions for me. I wasn't sure if you even knew how.”

Ouch. But I had that coming. It also answers my question of whether she’s mad about it.

“Yeah, I uh, I tried to text you about it yesterday, but I didn’t know your phone was broken,” I tell her lamely, already knowing that it’s a weak excuse.

“Convenient.”

She walks fast for someone her height. Not that she’s short, because she’s not, but she is shorter than me, and I can barely keep up with her.

“I know I should have told you about it sooner,” I try to explain. “Honestly, I did try. I can show you the almost two dozen drafts I made of texts that I wanted to send you, but none of them felt right.”

“How about, ‘Hey, Marissa. Want to join my pack?’ Did you try that one? Is that in your drafts?”

How do I even argue with that? I can’t, not really. Not without making a bigger fool of myself. Although I will say that it’s nice to hear some emotion from her. I was beginning to worry that the flat, dry tone she was using for a while there was the only one she had. I’m not sure that anger is the emotion I would have picked if given a choice, but it’s something, at least.

“Look, I’m sorry,” I apologize, deciding to just drop my attempts to come up with a good excuse. I don’t have one. “I should have asked before just doing it, and I should have given you far more time to consider it. But to be honest, I was terrified that you’d say no.”

“And you figured that just showing up and dropping it on me like this was the best way to prevent that? For the record, I agreed to it, but it had nothing to do with you. You’re the biggest reason that I almost said no.”

“Wait, what? That doesn’t even make sense.”

And it hurts. Not just figuratively, but physically. I felt actual pain when she said that she almost said no because of me, my mind automatically jumping to thinking that she means she doesn’t want to be with me. I suppose she could just be talking about how I did all this transfer stuff behind her back, though. I really, really hope that’s it.

She pauses in front of a door and reaches into her pocket to pull out keys, so I’m guessing this is her room. I thought she said she lived with her dad before, but I guess she could have meant that she lived with him while growing up. But when we get inside, I can tell just from the scents in here that this isn’t her room. She has stayed here, but her scent isn’t all over it the way that it should be if she lives here.

“Hey guys,” comes a cheerful greeting from a familiar voice that I don’t immediately recognize because of everything on my mind.

Until I finally spot her sitting in a chair over in the corner and realize that it’s Tasha. And now that I think of it, the scent all over this room might be hers. Judging by the air mattress on the floor, I’m guessing that I’m right that Marissa was just staying here.

“Hey so, Tasha, I have news,” Marissa begins to tell her friend uncertainly, taking an awkward stance.

“Uh yeah, I’ll say,” Tasha answers, giving both of us a look that I’m not sure the meaning of. “I texted Stevie to ask why he’s just sitting outside like a creep, and he told me what was happening. I pretended like I knew and was just messing with him, but damn, Marissa. Why didn’t I know?”

“Because I didn’t know,” Marissa says, back to that flat tone, glancing at me accusingly.

And then she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the paper that Aly gave her, taking it over to Tasha along with her keys.

“Can I have your number for when I get a new phone?” she asks nervously, almost like she fears Tasha’s rejection.

This is noticeably different than the interactions I witnessed upstairs, and I almost feel bad about intruding on it. Maybe the right thing to do here would be to offer them a couple minutes alone, but the selfish beast inside me doesn’t want to leave, not when Marissa is being more open than I’ve seen from her yet. It’s like I feel a need to lap up whatever small glimpses of her inner self I can find.

But of course Tasha doesn’t deny her that. The girl adores Marissa, that’s easy to see. She even helps her round up the clothes that weren’t already packed, but Marissa shakes her head once she sees them in her hand.

“Those aren’t actually mine, and I was planning to just throw them away,” she tells her, although that seems to confuse Tasha.

Me too, honestly.

“I don’t even know whose they are,” Marissa explains. “They were in my dad’s dresser, and I needed something clean to put on.”

“Oh, okay,” Tasha shrugs, as if that clears things up.

I still have questions, but I know better than to ask them.

“I guess this is it then,” Marissa says.

Tasha lunges for her, cutting off whatever else she was about to say, and throws her arms around Marissa. To my surprise, my quiet, reserved mate actually tries to hug her back. It’s awkward, but the effort is more than I saw from her upstairs.

“Put a rush on getting that phone, and text me like every single day,” Tasha demands, and then she turns her fiery gaze on me. “You and I are not friends, to be clear. You stole from me, and didn’t even give me a chance to plan a girls’ night before you took her. By my figuring, you owe me at least an entire crate of chocolate milk before we’re good.”

“I can do that,” I chuckle, wishing that it could be that easy to patch things over with my mate as well.

After we leave Tasha’s room, Marissa informs me that she’s ready to go, even though all she has is the one suitcase that she just picked up.

“Are you sure that’s all you want to take? You don’t want to go home and get the rest of your stuff?”

“This is all my stuff,” she answers matter-of-factly. “There’s nothing left for me at home.”

The way she says it sends an involuntary shiver down my spine, and I don’t even really know why. It’s just this weird sense that I’m getting, the same feeling that I get when she’ll suddenly shut down while we’re texting. She doesn’t like talking about her dad or her family, that much I’ve picked up on. Apparently “home” is off-limits too. She doesn’t even want to take me there.

Uncle Ben is waiting for us when we return to the foyer, and even he seems a little surprised by how lightly my mate is choosing to travel. I half-expect him to make some teasing comment about it, but to my relief, he doesn’t.

“Well, I guess that’s that, then,” he comments instead. “In case you haven’t been informed, Miss Carter, we’ll be heading back to our hotel for tonight, and flying back to Oregon tomorrow. Your travel arrangements have already been made, so there’s no need to worry about that.”

“I’ve not been informed, but there’s no surprise there,” she responds, and despite the flatness returning to her tone, I can also sense the bitterness there.

I like her, Uncle Ben comments over mind-link. I think you need a mate like her to put you in your place.

All I can do is sigh and cringe at my own short-sightedness. I didn’t even think to warn her of what came after here. I’m still in shock about the part where she said yes.