Finally Her Turn

Chapter 8: Marissa

It doesn’t bode well for the day I’m about to have when the first thing that happens after I leave my room with Tasha to go to breakfast is Devon falling into step beside me, obviously intent on telling me something.

“Just as a heads up, there’s not much I can do to make today easier for you,” he begins apologetically. “I have some pretty specific instructions from Alpha Kane to keep you and Tasha with Aly, and Tyler with me. And Aly’s mates have specific instructions to never leave her without at least one of them by her side, and I know she’s going to stick with Matt based on what I’ve observed from her lately. It’s his ability. She stays with him to help him control it.”

“She does a pretty poor job,” I can’t help muttering under my breath.

“You had her attention that night,” he reminds me, and I hate that he’s right.

It was my big mouth that set her off, I’m sure of it without actually even remembering saying anything to her.

“So, just be prepared,” he goes on. “Elevators, hallways, other small spaces like that, you’re with her and Matt the whole way. Avert your gaze is the only advice I have for you.”

“Is that how it works? He looks in your eyes and can see straight through to your soul?” Tasha wonders, and I can already tell she still thinks it’s cool. She’s even romanticizing it.

“Something like that,” Devon chuckles nervously. “He seems to think so anyway, and Marissa was looking at him when it happened.”

“Well, thanks for the heads up. I understand that your hands are tied,” I tell him, grateful that he’s at least still thinking of me even if he can’t do anything.

I’ve been worried that my sour moods would have swayed his opinion of me by now. And if he’s right about just averting my gaze to prevent any further incidents, then that’s actually pretty easy to manage. I just hope he’s right.

Thankfully, his warning that I’ll be with Aly and her mate all day doesn’t seem to include the ride there. He puts me in a vehicle with Tasha and a male warrior whose name I just learned is Billy. He seems kind of young, somewhere around Tasha’s age if I had to guess, but even so, Devon is giving him preference as team leader over me even though I have seniority.

And I’d be bitter about that if I was a better team player. I know I’m not though, and it really doesn’t even bother me. I don’t have any lofty ambitions for advancement. I just want to keep my head down and settle into a routine, considering it victory enough when I manage to make it through another day without completely losing it.

We’re the third of our three-vehicle convoy, so all Billy has to do is pull into the hotel parking lot behind the other two. It seems simple enough, but a few minutes later, we’re still idling and not yet parked as Billy seems to be mind-linking with someone.

“Geesh, Devon can be so ramrod straight sometimes,” he complains after a moment. “Okay, yeah, the Alpha gave him specific parking instructions, but the Alpha isn’t here looking at this full parking lot. His plan just isn’t going to work here, not if we’re also supposed to follow his other order to make sure Aly gets to her meeting on time.”

His eyes glaze over again, and Tasha and I exchange curious and worried looks because we’re powerless to help the situation.

“Finally,” he exclaims after another pause. “Alright, he’s got a spot that’s close enough, so once we pull in, we’re going to the right of Aly’s car. You don’t have to do anything, just be there in case, I don’t know, someone tries to assassinate her or something, I guess.”

“That’s a real thing that really almost happened,” Tasha points out. “Somebody shot her and tried to kidnap her, so don’t roll your eyes when Devon is just following orders that are meant to keep her safe.”

“Okay, sorry,” Billy concedes sheepishly. “I’m not serious. It’s just annoying how long it took to park three vehicles.”

And he’s lucky I’m not a rat, and I don’t think Tasha is either, or we’d be sure to tell Devon that maybe Billy isn’t the best pick to lead our little team. Honestly, it’s probably Tasha, although I’m sure Billy would have some attitude about that.

We quietly file out of the truck and join the others, hanging to the right as per our instructions, and then the whole group of us walks into the building together. There are eleven of us, if my counting is accurate, and I’m sure that’s quite a sight to see. Especially since eight of us are all dressed the same – navy-blue polo shirts, black workpants, black boots.

Then we join up with another group by the elevators, with one of the Elders. Their group is in purple polos, and I’m not familiar enough with pack symbols to even bother guessing which one.

“Oh, Alyssa. Fancy meeting you here,” the Elder woman laughs.

I never met my grandparents, but she’s exactly how I imagined they would be. Pleasant, cheerful, slightly red in the face, with eyes that sparkle with joy and humor. Her hair is even red, the way I always pictured my grandmother’s would be. Meeting this woman almost makes me want to smile, though of course she doesn’t even notice me while she’s talking to Aly.

Throughout the course of their conversation, I learn that the Elders are also worried about security considering what happened to Aly not long ago, and I guess one of the Elders was there during it, but all I’m thinking about is how that probably means there will be a bunch of people where we’re going. Not looking forward to being trapped in a small room with them all, that’s for sure.

Devon eventually steps up and starts giving us our orders, dividing us in two groups to use the elevators. He motions for me to go with Aly’s group, of course, and her quiet mate comes with our group too. I’m glad Devon warned me about this because not only was I ready for it, but now I know to look away. And thankfully, Aly doesn’t have any snide comments about my attitude or how rude I’m being for not wanting to look at them.

Interestingly, being in an elevator with them isn’t the most uncomfortable thing happening to me right now. There’s a scent, one that I picked up as soon as we came in the building, but now that we’re in this enclosed space, it’s even stronger. I can’t really put my finger on what it is or why it’s bothering me so much.

What’s even weirder is that it’s agitating Audra, my wolf, and she’s generally pretty quiet unless it’s time to shift or I need help fighting my dad. The rest of the time, she mostly just hides out in there. She’s not like other people’s wolves who are super attentive and get worked up over every little thing. She’s also not like other people’s wolves in that she didn’t wait until I was 16 before she woke up.

She’s been with me almost since the beginning, which means that she’s endured everything I have. All the research I’ve done about it pointed to the cause of her early awakening being all the abuse and “less than optimal childhood conditions” I’ve dealt with all my life, basically not allowing her to stay dormant because I needed her to survive. It’s more common for rogue pups than pack wolves, but I suppose that the life I’ve lived with my dad has a lot in common with the life of a rogue.

It’s good that she came to my aid when I needed her, but the downside is that it’s had a major impact on her psyche. She mostly just sleeps these days. Even when I shift, she very rarely has the urge to take over, and it’s usually me in control. And I’ve never told anyone about her, not after the first time when a teacher in school corrected me about it. I figured out early on that no one would believe me, and even if they did, it would just get me and my dad in trouble. So, she’s my little secret.

But now, she’s waking up. She seems as confused as I am about the scent, and there’s not much time to investigate it before the elevator dings again and it’s time to step out onto a new floor. Except now it’s even stronger. Whatever the source of the scent is, we’re following it, and I don’t know how I feel about that because I’m starting to suspect it’s a person. And there’s only one type of person I know of who is reported to have a scent that strong to an unmated wolf.

As much as the shrinking part of me that used to believe in fairytales and happily ever afters should love that I may be headed straight toward my fated mate at this very moment, the much larger part of me is terrified. I’ve both wanted and dreaded a mate for so long that I don’t fully know which of those things will win in the end, but it’s somehow not surprising that finding my mate has to be something that’s tied to Aly like this.

Everything always comes back to Aly. I’ve been chasing her shadow for so long that I don’t even know the first thing about trying to do anything else with my life, but as usual, her needs come first. If my mate is standing in that room, when will I ever even have a chance to do anything about it? I suppose the better question is will I even want to, though.

“This is the place,” the Elder woman tells us, motioning straight ahead to a set of double doors. And just like before, she does it with such enthusiasm and wonderment that I almost want to smile along with her. Almost.

Because unlike her, I’m not excited to be here. That might be because she has the comfort of a chair to sit in to look forward to, while I already know I’ll be standing the whole time. And smelling that scent the whole time. I can’t even decide if I like the scent.

Devon has us divided into two teams of four and situated to go in while two of the Elder woman’s guards go ahead to open the doors for us. My suspicions are confirmed once that scent hits me full-force, and I’m not even in the room yet. Whoever it is, he’s inside.

And he’s watching me, or more like watching for me. He must smell a mate scent too, and now he’s trying to figure out who it belongs to. I don’t even have to rely on my nose to tell me which one he is because there’s only one in there hungrily studying and watching each of us come in before his eyes finally land on me and stay there. Fortunately, I’ve perfected the art of watching people out of the corner of my eye, so I don’t have to lock eyes with him. I won’t. I refuse to. I know what’s going to happen when I do.

But unfortunately, his group is right next to ours but at a right angle, so he has a perfect view of me should he want to keep staring at me the entire time. It almost seems like he might. The only thing I have going in my favor is that Alex and one of the guys from my mate's group are standing between us. I have a feeling just from how he’s looking at me that if we were close enough, he’d be reaching for my hand. I can’t allow that either. I know what’s going to happen when I do.

What surprises me is how disappointed I feel when he finally looks away. I don’t even know whether it was minutes or seconds that passed while he studied me, and I can’t help worrying that he’s already finished because he doesn’t like what he sees. Of course he doesn’t. I probably look a fright after the night I had, and I didn’t make much of an effort to do anything about it.

I never do though. Spending any amount of time on my appearance means spending time looking at myself in the mirror, and I hate that. Normally I don’t even care how I look to other people, but I never expected to meet my mate like this. Honestly, I never expected to meet him at all. It wouldn’t have shocked me to discover that there isn’t one out there for me, but now that I know that there is, I don’t know how I feel about it.

He’s probably going to reject me as soon as we take a break anyway, so it’s probably not even worth worrying about. And honestly, that would be better. I still have over a month left of this assignment, and part of the requirement to be here is to be unmated. I really need the job. What I don’t really need is anyone to insert himself in my life and mess everything up, or get me all worked up over nothing.

I’ll reject him as soon as I get a chance. I have to, there’s no other choice. It’s for the best.

No! Audra protests, scaring me so much that it actually makes me jump a little.

I’m not used to hearing her like that in my mind. When she does speak to me, it’s quiet and faint. She’s never yelled at me before.

I notice my mate turn and give me an amused look, so I must have jumped enough for others to notice. I can feel the heat of embarrassment rising to my cheeks, but I go on pretending to ignore him for now.

I guess I’ll have to think about it some more. Good thing I have plenty of time with nothing to do but stand here.