Finally Her Turn

Chapter 3: Marissa

It doesn’t even take a whole week for the assignment I’ve been dreading to pop up. I knew we’d eventually be called upon to do something more than just patrols and escorts because that’s literally why we’re here, I just didn’t know that it would be so soon. I also didn’t even know what it would be until Aly mind-linked us, but I knew it would be something awful.

What I didn’t expect is that it would turn out to be a sleepover. What is she, twelve? Though if I’m being honest with myself, when we actually were that age, such an invitation would have thrilled me. I never got invited to stuff like that, especially not at the packhouse or with the Alpha’s family. But we’re grown women now, and I can’t stand her anymore. I already hate this night and it hasn’t even started.

But like the dutiful little warrior I am, I put on my pajamas that I had to buy an hour ago and gather up some bedding to take with us when we go meet Aly. It’s too bad that Tasha and I aren’t anywhere near the same size, or I could have just borrowed one of the fifteen sets of pajamas she has spread out on her bed when I go in there to check on her progress.

“Pink or blue?” she asks, holding up two pairs of pajama pants that are identical other than the color.

“Uh, pink?” I pretend to have a preference.

It seems like the right answer considering where we’re going. Some of these co-eds even go so far as to wear their pajamas out in public to their meals and classes, and if there’s anything I’ve noticed about the girls around here, it’s that they love frilly and cutesie stuff. Tasha should fit right in wearing the pink ones.

“I think you’re right,” she agrees, dropping the blue pants on the bed with the rest. “You know, I’ve never been to a college get-together before.”

I can tell she’s excited, and I don’t really know what to do with that. I don’t want to be her buzz-killer, but I don’t think what we’re about to experience is anything like what she’s picturing.

I just hope she can get a handle on her childish enthusiasm because she’s supposed to be playing the part of someone a few years older than she is, at least if I understand the assignment correctly. Right now, she’s quite obviously a 16-year-old who’s all jazzed up to be going to hang out with grown-ups.

“I’ve never even seen the inside of a college dorm building before,” she continues gushing, working on cleaning all the clothes off her bed and getting her own sleepover bedding ready to go.

“Actually, neither have I, but I think I did overhear Aly saying that the stairwells smell like the inside of a gym bag,” I tell her.

It only occurs to me after I’ve said it that even though it is true, and it’s also the only gossip I’ve ever heard about a college dorm before, it is the very definition of buzzkill.

“Ew,” Tasha wrinkles her nose, giggling.

But at least she seems resistant to my ill-placed comments. Not much seems to bother her, which makes her kind of the perfect roommate for me.

“If you’re ready, we should probably get going,” I announce, fighting the urge to check the time again. I'm sure we're right on schedule.

We meet Aly over at that apartment she’s been staying in, and that’s when I learn that we’re also bringing her blonde mate. It seems weird to include him when she told me that Tasha and I have to be the ones who come along because it’s a girls’ night and she can’t bring male guards to that, but it’s also not my job to question her.

I’m used to her being able to break the rules whenever she sees fit. I only wish it was her other mate. He’s quieter and more subtle about the public displays of affection.

Once we get over to the dorm building, it isn’t long before we discover that the staircases leading up to the third floor do kind of smell like gym socks.

Myth confirmed, Tasha mind-links me, side-glancing me as we climb the stairs side-by-side. I can tell she’s fighting back her laughter.

I envy her ability to enjoy pretty much everything, even situations that shouldn’t be pleasant, and realize I should be taking my cues from her. So, I smile back at her instead of rolling my eyes or shaking my head the way that I normally would.

Aly takes us to what is supposed to be her dorm room, though Alpha Kane doesn’t want her staying there anymore. It’s too difficult for us to get guards inside the building let alone her room, and she can’t bring her mates either. Admittedly, they’re pretty good fighters, and were even as humans. Now that they’re werewolves, they’re also extra protection for her that she wouldn’t have if she was still staying here alone.

Her roommate is already inside when we get there, and I notice that her shoulders tense up the instant that she hears the door open. She’s sitting at a desk facing the other way, but I can already tell she’s observant. She’s also an anxious little human, and I can’t help wondering whether Aly even realizes how uncomfortable we just made her. She seems oblivious to it, but that’s no surprise.

“Hey, Ronnie,” Aly calls out, going over and leaning against the desk right by her roommate.

Ronnie looks up for a split-second, but as soon as she sees all the people huddled behind her, she glances right back down, her entire body going rigid as she scribbles furiously on a paper in front of her.

I don’t know if Aly notices this either, but she isn’t writing anything sensical. I think she’s just focusing on the paper so she doesn’t have to focus on us. Did Aly even bother warning her to expect an intrusion like this?

“I just need ten minutes,” Ronnie says, still huddled over the paper pretending to write something important.

“Yeah, no problem,” Aly tells her casually, shrugging. “I just wanted you to meet everybody before we join the others.”

“Okay, I’m Ronnie,” the poor girl says in a rush, not even turning to look at anyone. She just keeps on writing the word “blue” over and over.

Tasha introduces us, and Ronnie gives a tense, rehearsed response, still writing. She’s moved on to repeating the word “cushion” now. I wonder if it’s some anxiety coping strategy or something, and I also still can’t tell for sure whether Aly is as oblivious to it as she seems or is just trying not to draw attention to her roommate’s eccentric habits.

It eventually occurs to me that maybe the poor girl can feel me watching her, so I look away and try to find something else to focus on. Aly has a lot of random stuff sitting around, so I start browsing through that instead. If I’m going to invade someone’s privacy, it’s going to be hers.

Ronnie didn’t do anything to deserve it. She just has the misfortune of being assigned to a room with the New Horizon golden girl, which means she’s about to be bombarded by random strangers any time Aly comes to see her.

Once Ronnie relaxes a bit she starts chatting with Aly, but surprisingly, she seems to like her. She even confesses to missing her. I’d have thought having someone so loud and social around would be annoying for someone quiet and anxious like her.

I hear Ronnie say, “I think I’m going to visit tomorrow. I’ve never been over there to their apartment, so I’m pretty curious,” and I mentally roll my eyes.

At least I think I only do it in my head. I’ve been trying to get a handle on that bad habit.

But she sounds a lot like Tasha did earlier when she was enthusing about college and dorms and all kinds of things that don’t seem that exciting to me, especially now that we’re here in this tiny little room. My dorm room at the packhouse was way nicer, and there was no roommate to share it with.

“It’s nothing special,” I mutter, though I actually didn’t mean to say it out loud.

I was only thinking it, or so I thought. The apartment where Aly stays with her mates is quite basic, to be fair. Everything inside is beige – the walls, the carpets, even the kitchen counters. It’s boring. I’ve seen better and probably for a lot cheaper back at New Horizon.

I notice Aly glance over at me and I hold my breath, waiting for a reprimand or at least a scathing mind-link, but nothing like that ever comes. I’m really not used to working so closely with so many people like this, so all my bad habits that come from spending so much time alone have been biting me in the ass all week.

And damn it, I catch myself rolling my eyes again at her blonde mate’s comment about “date night” and all the sickeningly flirty looks he’s giving her. He’s literally wiggling his eyebrows at her like he’s a damn cartoon. I mean really? I can’t even blame myself for all the eye-rolling and heavy sighing I’ve been doing, but I’m sure Princess Alyssa will.

Once Ronnie has finished her anxious scribbling, she finally gets up and grabs her own bedding so we can head out to the gathering area. Thankfully, she’s already dressed. I’m a little jealous that she’s only wearing yoga pants and a hoodie though. If I’d known that would count as pajamas, I could have saved myself twenty bucks.

When we get over to what Aly calls “the common area,” there are a lot of other girls already gathered there. It’s a mess with all the random bedding sprawled everywhere, but admittedly, it does look pretty cozy. If I knew these girls well enough, I suppose it would be kind of fun just making a giant bed on the floor and hanging out together.

That is until I’m reminded that chatter and gossip are the natural states of activity for a gaggle of girls. Pretty much the instant we get over there, the talking and giggling starts up. Aly introduces us and then I do my best to tune it all out, helping Tasha arrange our bedding at the far side of the giant nest we’re building.

And now they’re talking about playing some “questions game” that I don’t understand the appeal of. Is it literally just someone asks a question and someone else answers it? What is even the point?

Oh, right. Chatter and gossip. Got to keep reminding myself that it all comes back to chatter and gossip.

I can tell Aly is as bothered by it as I am, though probably for different reasons. If I had to guess, it’s because she worries about what Tasha and I might say that could make us stand out and seem weird to the other girls. And honestly? Me too. But Aly is probably also worried about anything I say because I have a talent for rubbing people the wrong way. Again, me too.

There’s nothing I can do about it though. She’s the one who insisted on dragging us here.

The very first question comes from the ginger-haired girl who seems to be the one in charge, which is confirmed when she says as much. She seems to have her sights set on the blonde guy, and I almost feel bad for him. He starts blushing almost immediately.

Which is why I almost immediately tune them out. Whatever gossip she’s digging for, I don’t want any part of it. Making people uncomfortable is not what I signed on for, and yet, this whole night has been nothing but.

I keep my mind blank, doing my job as best as I can without being obvious. I’m listening, but not to them. I’m trying to hear what’s going on behind us, and I notice at one point that there’s a door with a window in it that I can use to see if anyone enters the area using the door on the other side, which helps me relax a little. At least I kind of have eyes on the place.

“I pick you,” some girl says, and Tasha elbows me. I look over, and the girl is pointing at me now.

“How did you and Aly meet?” she asks, and it seems innocent enough, but it certainly puts me on the spot. I was hoping for something simpler like my favorite color.

I glance over at Aly, trying to get a read on how she’s feeling about this question. Worse than me by the look of it. I bet she thinks I’ll say something mean or incredibly awkward, but I’m a terrible liar, so I won’t even bother trying to make something up, which makes this easier.

I remember the day we met quite vividly. How could I forget? My dad has never let me.

I clear my throat to make sure I don’t sound froggy, and then start telling the story.

“We grew up together. We were in the same grade in school and have kind of known each other since forever, but uh, if you want to know about the first time we met ...”

Damn, already throwing those fillers in there the way my teachers used to scold me about. I take a breath before making another attempt, hoping to sound less awkward.

“It was in kindergarten, in the sandbox on the playground at school. She, uh, she’s a little bit famous around our hometown because of who her dad is, and so she’s just naturally popular like him.”

Ugh, stop it. I know I sound like a moron, but these girls seem to be listening intently, so I keep going.

“But nobody really noticed or talked to me until she saw me playing by myself in the sandbox and came and sat next to me and started talking to me. I just … she was really nice to me, and I wasn’t used to that. I’ll never forget it either.”

It felt like a struggle, but I got it out. And now I’m picturing that day in my head, which is a pleasant memory if I conveniently block out what happened when I got home from school and told my dad about it. And I do. I always do.

That was the day that I really thought I’d made a friend, and I was genuinely excited about it. And it was the Alpha’s daughter, so I felt pretty special having her come sit by me and start telling me about the toy truck she got for her birthday that was just like the one her uncle drives.

“Oh, that’s sweet,” the girl who asked the question says, smiling a sugary sweet smile at me, and I can’t quite determine whether it’s genuine or not.

Aly seems relieved, and maybe even grateful, giving me a small smile and relaxing her tense muscles some. She must have been really worried about what I was going to say.

“It’s your turn now,” another girl points out, reminding me of the rules of the game.

What a stupid game. I don’t even know any of these girls or care about anything they might tell me. But whatever, I’ll play along. At least I’m getting paid for this.

I pick one of the identical blonde girls and ask her favorite color because what the heck else am I going to ask someone I don’t even know, and almost everyone laughs under their breath.

“Uh, pink,” she giggles, gesturing down her body to her completely pink outfit.

Okay, obviously they thought that was a stupid question and I suppose it was, but I also don’t care. I participated. I was also right to tell Tasha to wear the pink pajamas.

Since I already answered and asked a question, I presume I’m off the hook and settle in against my pillow a bit. Now I’m just flat-out bored, and this bedding on the floor thing isn’t as comfortable as it first looked. I hope no one actually sleeps here because I can only imagine the pain this hard floor would cause for a human body.

To my relief, someone eventually intervenes and ends the game so we can just get on to watching the movie. I'm certainly not about to complain about that.

The movie is weird and kind of sappy and I’m tempted to nap during it, but I’m technically on-duty. And if I snore, I’m fairly certain I’ll never hear the end of it.

Once the on-screen couple gets to the point of kissing and making all sorts of intense proclamations of eternal love, I know we have to be just about done. Please, Goddess above, let it be almost over. And it is. It’s only about ten minutes later that the final credits start rolling.

But then the real-life sappy couple starts up with their nonsense, kissing and saying stupid stuff to each other in their high-pitched sweetie voices, and I realize it may never be over. Not for at least two more months. Until then, I have to watch this endless rom-com play out and try not to toss my cookies while on-duty.

Although I’ll give the blonde guy a little credit because he handles Ronnie very delicately and preciously as if he actually cares, picking her up and carrying her tiny, sleeping body back to her room so he can tuck her into bed. And he does tuck her in. I’m surprised he doesn’t kiss her forehead and wish her sweet dreams while he’s at it.

Then we gather up all our bedding and start making the walk back to the apartment. Devon and Alex are trailing behind us the same as they were on the way over, and Tasha and I are flanking the happy couple. The extremely chatty, surprisingly affectionate considering all the stuff we’re carrying couple.

I just keep reminding myself that tomorrow is my day off. I have zero shifts on the schedule, so as long as Aly doesn’t have some last-minute impulse to go somewhere else with only girls, I should be enjoying my first actual Saturday off in a long time. Maybe Tasha and I can find a place to explore a little and get out of the room to go somewhere other than this college campus.

“Ugh, finally,” I comment once the apartment building comes into view, and Aly turns and shoots me a glare.

But honestly, I’m surprised she doesn’t at least see where I’m coming from. She can’t be enjoying lugging all this bedding around either. And then I notice that she isn’t. She only has a pillow, and her mate only has a small blanket. What happened to the rest of their bedding?

I actually turn and look behind us to see if the other guards are carrying it, but they aren’t. I guess she must have left it in her dorm room.

Tasha and I pause to drop off our bedding at the vehicle we brought over before following Aly and her mate into the building as per protocol. Aly still seems annoyed with me, but for once, I’m not feeling particularly apologetic. All this dragging stuff around all over campus when we could just drive is pretty annoying, and if she can’t see that, then it’s not my fault she’s so self-absorbed that she can’t put herself in our shoes for a minute.

But I’m cursing that same protocol when Tasha and I are standing in the entryway to their apartment, watching Aly and her mates having a cuddle-fest. We have to wait here until the night guards are in position and Aly dismisses us, which she could have done before all the groping started.

I don’t even know what I must say or do that sets Aly off, but she suddenly pulls away from her mates and charges at me, the brown of her wolf’s eyes starting to flash at me.

“Okay, Marissa. You win. I’ve been trying to ignore you, but I can’t take it anymore. If you have something to say to me, just say it already,” she rages, still battling her obviously angry wolf for control.

I knew I’d eventually land myself in trouble with her, and I’m honestly surprised it took this long. Not that I was looking for a confrontation, I’ve just suddenly been thrown into a situation that my social skills weren’t ready for. And I hate being around her, which only makes things worse. My thoughts just keep flying right out of my mouth.

I know it’s a stupid thing to do, but I can’t stand how she always is with me. I hate her air of superiority, and I’m betting what bothers her the most is that I don’t grovel the way most people do. I don’t feel blessed to be in her presence, though maybe I once did. I’ve learned that she’s not who she seemed to be at first. She’s selfish, pretentious, obstinate, oblivious to the people around her, and yeah, I’ll say it, spoiled.

So, instead of apologizing like I should, I stand there trying to think of some comeback for her. If I’m going to speak my mind anyway, I might as well give her all of it.

“You don’t want to hear what I have to say about you,” I tell her honestly, though I’m about to say it anyway. She doesn’t want to hear it, but she probably needs to.

But then her other mate, the one I usually don’t mind, starts staring at me in a weird way, and I can’t help but be distracted by it. His eyes have turned completely white and glossy, but it’s more like they have cataracts covering them.

“What is happening to him?” I ask, a bit worried because werewolves don’t even get cataracts. That's a human thing.

Plus, it happened so suddenly, and he almost looks frozen there like that. It must be something else going on.

“Oh. So, you remember the other day when Alpha Kane was explaining to all the warriors about our wolves? Matt’s is a silver, which means he has a special ability,” Aly’s blonde mate explains. “That happens when he’s using it.”

“So, what do we do?” Tasha asks him, sounding more curious than worried.

“We wait,” Aly says rather nonchalantly, shrugging. “It was only a couple minutes that he was like this last time.”

She seems completely unconcerned and so does the other guy, so I relax a little, though I still can’t take my eyes away from him. I’ve never seen something like this happen before, though I have heard of silver wolves and some of their abilities.

“It looks like he’s focusing on Marissa,” the blonde guy points out. “Now I’m curious as hell what he will have to say when he snaps out of it.”

Oh gosh, he’s right. He was staring at me when that happened, and here I’ve been staring right back. I look away, hoping it might end his little vision or whatever is going on.

“Have to say about what?” I ask them, wondering if looking at me means looking into me somehow, which is both creepy and bothersome to think about. “Something about me, or …?”

“Yeah, probably. Hard to say. He can’t control it yet,” Aly says like it’s no big deal that her mate might be getting into my head.

But I’m sorry, that’s a very big deal. That’s an extremely big deal. There are a lot of things in this head that no one should ever see. I mean, I don’t even like seeing all the stuff I keep in my head, but it’s definitely not their business. Most of my life happens behind closed doors, and it’s meant to stay that way.

“I, uh, I’m kind of tired,” I tell them, trying to beg off duty before her mate snaps out of whatever he’s doing. Princess Alyssa still hasn’t dismissed us even though the night guards are here now.

“You said we could leave for the hotel once we dropped you off,” I feel a need to remind her, hoping she’ll take the hint.

She doesn’t, choosing to just stand there staring at me instead.

“So, I think I’m going to go,” I inform her. Screw protocol. I’m not going to stand here while her mate tells everyone my business, and Tasha definitely doesn’t need to be here to listen to it.

“You don’t want to wait and see what he has to say?” she asks, sounding almost disappointed.

Normally I try to do the things she wants to do, but I draw the line on this one. We’re going. Now. She’s the last person I want here when whatever happens, happens.

“No, not really. I don’t really care,” I tell her, feigning nonchalance.

“I’m not going to force you to stay, and I’d honestly rather that you go,” Aly says, which I’m taking as a dismissal. “Just keep in mind that if you go AWOL, my dad has the best trackers in the country, and you won’t get far. And also, watch yourself from here on out. I’m about fed up with your attitude. If you don’t want to take the chance to just put it all out there, fine. But knock it off going forward. You’re a skilled, trained warrior. Act like one.”

Ugh. What an Aly thing to say. I’m not about to skip out on the assignment, but thanks for that vote of confidence there, princess. I just don’t want to be here to see how this weird silver wolf thing turns out, especially if it involves me in any way. I don’t even know what it is that this silver wolf can do, but I’ve overheard some stories about one of the Elders. Doesn’t sound like a fun time when you’re me.

“Yeah, got it,” I assure her, sighing my frustration. “Good night.”

I glance over at Tasha, hoping she’ll just come with me and not fight me on this, no matter how curious she is about this special ability. And thankfully, though she groans and drags her feet a little, she does come with me. She also doesn’t pester me about it on the drive back to the hotel, choosing to talk about the movie night we just had with all those girls.

Until we’re in the elevator riding up to our floor at the hotel.

“Aly seems to think you’re going to run off or something,” she laughs, shaking her head. “She mind-linked me to tell me to keep an eye on you. But I mean, it’s not like you have anything to hide. You’re basically a loner from what I can tell. I get that it’s weird and uncomfortable to have him staring at you like a glossy-eyed zombie, so I understand you wanting to leave, but I think she’s kind of blowing it out of proportion a bit.”

“Yeah, definitely,” I agree, hoping that will be the end of it.

She’s right about Aly, but wrong about me not having anything to hide. What she and Aly both seem to be missing is what I’m actually running from.

Whatever her mate did in my head, I know there’s no stopping it. He’s probably going to tell Aly something about me that I don’t want her to know. So be it. She’ll be the Alpha soon, so I’m sure she was bound to find out eventually.

But Tasha doesn’t need to hear it. That’s my only goal here, keeping whatever secrets of mine are about to be exposed away from the one person who actually seems to be starting to like me. That will all change if she learns the truth about me. Not only will she start to pull away from me as if the trauma of my past is somehow contagious, but I wouldn’t be able to handle it if she started looking at me the way people do when they find out about my dad.

I only made that mistake once, and it was a long time ago. Never again.