22 Chris
I feel dirty. As soon as it happens I get a huge burst of excitement and feel as if I’m on top of the world, but that feeling quickly dissipates and turns into a sense that I’m the worst person in the world. It’s incredible how quickly that feeling changes. I don’t know what makes me keep doing it. I know it’s wrong. I know how many lives I’m ruining. I know family units will be smashed apart. But it’s like feeding an addiction.
I’m fairly sure I remember reading somewhere that this is how addictions manifest themselves. It’s that yearning to feel that rush of excitement again, to try and better it. The problem is, the more you do it the less you enjoy it, so the more you need to do it to get the rush. It’s a devastating, never-ending spiral.
If it’s an addiction, I guess this
