Memories of a Bad Boy

Sixth Memory

Amelia's POV

The familiarity of the long pebble driveway that led to the Millar household was actually more comforting to me than I first anticipated. A long time ago, this house had lived and breathed. Chubby, happy children had run through the velvet-carpeted halls. Red, white, and yellow roses grew on the walls outside the building. Willow trees drooped over a pond in the garden, creating a very romantic atmosphere. Grass covered the lawn without an imperfection. Friendly birds sang in the trees, and kept the squirrels company. Sunlight flowed in like a river through the crystal- clear windows. The wind entered with the sunlight and played tag with the muslin curtains. It danced with the flowers in the garden, and sang the trees to sleep. But all of this was a long time ago.

Now things were different. The Millar Mansion's days were past. It was an old, long forgotten, abandoned house. It was broken down with disrepair and weeds filled the garden where once the grass had been as soft as a blanket. Birds no longer sang in the trees, and even the insects had largely left the house.

As we walked up the drive-way, the crunch of the pebbles under our feet sent tingles down my spine. I was finally back to this place. I never thought I'd be here again.

I hesitated, however, when we approached the large front doors.

"You okay?" Mr. Millar asked as he leaned down to get a small key out from under a plant pot. I remembered both Will and Luca doing the same thing and it comforted me.

I nodded my head and bit the side of my mouth as he fit the key in the lock and the door swung open.

I expected everything to come rushing back, but I didn't. I mean the house was very different. Lillian ran it like a military operation and cleaning was always done to perfection.

The house was now slowly falling into rack and ruin, Mr Millar had fallen out of love with its walls as he had done with his life. He no longer had anyone to share it with and again I just felt so terrible for him.

How could Luca leave him like this, it was so selfish and so unlike him.

But maybe Luca had changed. It had been years since I had met him, since we had spoken. It had been years since, I had fallen in love with him.

Who was Luca Millar now?

"Penny for your thoughts Amelia?" he asked although he could tell I was thinking about him whilst I sat at the large oak table, a glass of strong gin and tonic in my hand that Mr Millar had given me.

"Oh you know, just stressed with school and things" I lied through my teeth.

"Oh yes. Medical school, how is that shaping up for you?" he asked as he sat down at the table opposite me.

"It's the best decision I ever made" I smiled.

He nodded reassuringly, urging me to go on.

"I've finally found what completes me. It's wonderful. Only a year and a bit and I'll graduate and be able to practice medicine properly, I'm thinking of going into obstetrics."

"Delivering babies. That's a tough job, you know. I had a friend that did that for many years and it was amazing, but it meant he had no social life, that's for sure- it seemed he was on call every weekend. Never had time to go out for dinner or go to the gym. Will you settle in Boston?"

He wasn't trying to scare me off, he just wasn't used to speaking to people so had no idea that what he was saying was slightly terrifying.

"Hmm, I think it's best. A big city means big hospitals and I'll be able to get a job, an apartment and things. Just move on with my life."

"Move on?" Mr Millar queried.

"Oh, I didn't mean move on exactly. I really didn't mean it like that. I just meant..."

"Do you want to marry him?" he asked abruptly.

"What, who?" I asked, a little taken aback.

"That man, I saw him briefly at the graveyard when I was at the church. I assume he's your boyfriend," Mr Millar said.

Normally, when people make assumptions, it annoys me, but not this time. Mr Millar may have come across as being intrusive, but I knew he was just lonely and I was one of the closest people he had. It was sort of all he had left. I was sad for him.

At first, when I had seen Greyson Millar, I hadn't noticed the large purple shadows that rimmed his eyes. I knew he hadn't been sleeping a lot and I could tell by the way his hand shook as he held his glass, but it was perfectly steady when it reached his lips that he had spent many a night in this kitchen, drinking alone until the early hours of the morning in the hopes that it would numb some of the pain.

I looked up at him and he stared back at me with piercing eyes.

Oh those eyes, it was almost like a tease seeing them. They were about as close to Luca as I could get and my subconscious was shouting whenever his eyes rested on me. I couldn't hold his gaze for more than a few seconds for fear of screaming.

"Oh yes, Ash. Yes."

"Yes he's your boyfriend or yes, do you want to marry him?" Mr. Millar asked.

"Yes, he's my boyfriend and yes I suppose one day I do want to marry him. He's a wonderful man and I'd be lucky to marry him," I said.

"Hmmm, you don't sound so convinced" Mr. Millar contemplated me, which made me feel very uncomfortable for the first time.

"I just feel a bit young, that's all," I said, getting defensive.

"Okay, I hear you." He nodded, "I heard rumors someone in your family got engaged?" he changed the subject. He knew that he had been a little too intrusive.

"Yes, my oldest brother and one of my best friends, Bella. This summer, they are tying the knot- still a whole year away, but I'm really excited, I'm the maid of honor," I said proudly. I honestly couldn't wait for them to get married. They were so in love, so ready to make that commitment to one another.

"Oh, that's a hectic job. My wife was maid of honour for all four of her sisters and it almost drove her mad." Mr Millar said with a smile of reminisance.

"Hmmm. Well, my family is slightly crazy, so yes, I think there is a rather large chance of me going mad." I laughed and Mr. Millar smiled at me, he took my empty gin glass from the table and turned around to refill it.

He tripped over a chair in his willingness and shook his head at himself only to fall over again two seconds later and unfortunately the glass slipped from his fingertips and smashed on the floor. I smiled amused as he took the mick out of himself, stating that he was "quite the clutz"

As he started to clear up, I excused myself and headed to the bathroom. I didn't need to ask where it was, like a normal guest.

I knew where everything was in this house.

I knew where Mr Millar's study was, where he now spent night and day. I had only been in it once and quite by accident.

I knew where Nora's room was, in all its technicolor glory. I also knew that it would lay completely untouched and Mr Millar would have nothing moved or taken away. I could imagine that Mr Millar had spent many nights asleep in the middle of the hardwood floor next to her crib, longing for the small child to be inside it again.

His room, Luca's big dark room with its four-poster bed and it's dark silky sheets. That smell of musty cigarette smoke, mint and his cologne that I couldn't forget.

I couldn't stop my feet from carrying my body down the steps to his room after I had finished in the bathroom. I knew it was wrong, knew Mr Millar would wonder where I was.

But I couldn't help myself. It had been to long since I had held a part of him, and I knew that room would have his scent.

I pushed open the door and a shiver went down my spine.

What did I expect, a voice to ask who was there or to call me inside. No one had been in this room for three years.

I lay down on the silky sheets, gripping them tight in my hands. Taking a deep breathe I closed my eyes, and it all came rushing back.

Him.

....F.L.A.S.H..B.A.C.K......

"Messy hair and a thirsty heart" I smiled at him as I caressed his rosy cheek as we sat on the back porch outside the Millar Mansion wrapped in a quilted duvet.

The sun was rising in a spectrum of beauty that was breathtaking and I couldn't believe that I was lucky enough to witness its show at 5am, why put on such a spectacle at this time when there were so few to see it?

"A perfect description for you shortcake. May we forever have thirsty hearts." he smiled as he opened a banana. I couldn't believe he was hungry but at the same time he was always hungry. He had the appetite of an elephant.

"Oi monkey, give me a bite" I said, he raised his eyebrows at me and I pouted, "please?"

"Fine" he stated, "why are we up this early anyways?" he asked.

"Because I couldn't sleep and my parents are back tomorrow, which means that I won't be able to see you for a while."

"F*ck them" Luca said.

"I'd rather not" I said, and he gave me a look. I stuck my tongue out at him and took another bite of the banana.

"Shut up, you know what I mean. You, Amelia, have the right to do whatever you want, to be however you want and to love whoever you want."

"True" I nodded, "they should support me no matter who I fall in love with, hell even if I fall in love with a monkey" I said.

I turned and watched him open and down another banana in one bite.

"And I did, I sure as hell did" I laughed.

..E.N.D..O.F..F.L.A..S..H.B.A.C.K...

The memories would often come rushing back like that. In a way that I just couldn't control.

And as I lay on that bed in the middle of the house I had sworn never to return to ever again, with the father of the boy I had once loved upstairs probably wondering where I was, I admitted to myself something I hadn't done in a very long time.

I missed him.