Chapter 5 - Jealousy
1334 Words
I wanted you to be the last thing on my mind.
I wanted you to be the reason I close my eyes.
But I cant sleep....!
And OH GOD I wanted you to be my High!
But everything I said went unheard...
So you can leave if you really want to... !
And you can run if you feel you have to...!
No one said it was easy.
Fallings easy, but there is only one way up.....[you]
Eden Project (Gravity)
Chapter 5 - Jealousy
Ezekiel walked into the kitchen a week later....knowing that he couldn't stomach anything.
It was pathetic and embarrassing, but he had no appetite.
Ever since his last talk with Brandon a week ago, that had easily tanked in a gutter....Ezekiel felt stuck in an odd place. An emotional limbo comprised of listlessness and longing. He couldn't shake it. He also couldn't seem to surmount it.
He felt like he was two different men.
A part of him was strict and calm...and patient, rational and understanding.
Ezekiel felt and knew that this was the part of his personality that allowed him to be a Guardian. Confident. Strong. Bold. Unyielding.
But there was another side of him now. A side Ezekiel had been joyfully unaware of until a mysterious and beautiful mortal had fallen into his life and uncovered it.
It was a side of Ezekiel that seemed wholly unstable. An emotional raw wound, with wild desires and urges.
Salacious and aggressive....and anxious.
One side of Ezekiel told him to be calm about his current situation and to give Brandon space and time to think. But the other side of Ezekiel couldn't be calm. He didn't want to give Brandon space...he wanted to be beside him. He wanted to hold him...ravish him. Claim him. Make him a mess.
Ezekiel hissed at himself and ran an exhausted hand across his face. Just trying not to think about Brandon was tiresome.
Knowing that he couldn't stomach the idea of food Ezekiel endeavored to try and find a cool drink and a quiet area to stew in before he began his daily patrols of the Eastern Village.
Unfortunately Ezekiel would go without both food and drink as he, turned into the kitchen, glanced around and walked right into the one man....he didn't really want to see.
Ever since the attack....there had been definite tension between him and Nate. Ezekiel had witnessed something very telling in his brothers actions towards Brandon. Actions that were revealing a hidden affection that bordered on the romantic. Nate watched Brandon with eyes that conveyed something more akin to devotion then friendship.
Ezekiel had no doubt in his mind what all of this truly meant and he couldn't deny the uncontrollable lurch of disbelief and...possessiveness that he felt. Once already Ezekiel had felt the insane need to stake a claim to bare his fangs at his brother in open hostility.
Ezekiel wanted to think he was wrong. He wanted to believe that he was mad for seeing what he was seeing. But he knew he wasn't. Nate was drawn to Brandon...and Ezekiel could barely stand to ignore it.
IT was unspoken...and mostly ignored, but it was there.
And Ezekiel desperately wished it wasn't.
IT was uncomfortable and odd. Ezekiel was not used to feeling anything but open and welcoming with Nate. To feel unconfertble....to feel the hot jab of jealousy and betrayal when he looked at his elder brother was....wrong.
Nate was just turning around, his hands occupied with a freshly opened can of soda, and a plate full of scrambled eggs. He was easily dressed down in black slacks, and a red t-shirt, with his spick black hair, and piercings glinting in the new day sun.
The moment he turned around and his two toned eyes landed on Ezekiel, Nate seemed to pause in surprise, but the next moment a soft smirk gathered on his features and with a raise of his hand he tipped his drink towards Ezekiel and happily called out.
"Hey Ezekiel! Good morning." Nate dropped his can to his hip, bounced onto his tippy toes, and suddenly inquired. "Is Brandon with you?"
Unable to hide his disgust at the blatantly hopeful tone of his brothers voice Ezekiel was just on the edge of rolling his eyes and snarling. Instead with an inner shake Ezekiel shrugged, walked further into the kitchen and replied "No. Why?" His voice was dry and sharp to his own ears, but Ezekiel was not in the best state of mind to care.
Looking fleetingly annoyed with Ezekiel's tone and short response Nate slowly turned, and sat down his food and drink, then with a deliberate step forwards he replied. "I don't know..." He softly quipped with an edge to his words. "Maybe Because I want to hang out with someone who doesn't look like they s**t bricks for breakfast?"
With a cool smile Ezekiel did roll his eyes as he turned and began to walk towards the fridge, completely writing Nate off in hopes that this moment wouldn't escalate. "I haven't seen him. I'm sure he's upstairs and not coming down until he knows I'm gone." Ezekiel hissed.
Sounding deflated suddenly Nate sighed back. "Oh Okay your still fighting then...."
For a second Ezekiel thought his brother had decided to vacate the kitchen, but as Ezekiel popped open the fridge and reached in to grab a bottle of water Ezekiel sensed and heard Nates footsteps closing in, and before Ezekiel knew it, Nates shoes were a shadow reaching beneath the fridge door, and his voice was coming from the other side of the door.
"Hey Ezekiel..." Nate suddenly called out, and against his will Ezekiel rose up and closed the door, so that he and Nate were inches apart. The smirk on his face remained, but his eyes were clouded in uncertain hostility that caught Ezekiel by surprise. "What are we doing.....What's going on here? Your being so cold lately. And the other day you nearly snapped my wrist! What the hell was that all about!? I don't get this tension between us....just talk to me?"
Instantly Ezekiel saw the true bewilderment in Nates eyes. He heard the sadness in his voice. He wanted to talk. He didn't understand what had caused the rift to appear between them.
So with a soft breath Ezekiel cast him a critical, but much less aggressive and hostile look. "You first Nate..." He softly declared. "You got anything you want to get off your chest?"
With a deep and confused frown Nate let out a small snarl and shook his head. "The f**k that's supposed to mean?" He bit off. Then with a small sigh of his own Nate took a step back, and motioned towards the counter in the middle of the room, where two tall legged chairs sat. "I need you to be clear wit me here. Come on. Take a seat. Speak your mind..."
With a small raise of his eyebrows Ezekiel complied and soon enough Ezekiel and Nate were sitting side by side. Ezekiel felt both unsure and snappy, but Nate for the most part took a very reserved place beside him and his white and black gaze held nothing but confusion and worry.
And it was at that moment that pure embarrassment hit Ezekiel, because he realized in that moment....that Nate truly was clueless. There was no possessive flare in his eyes, not aggression, no guilt. Nate looked like he had no idea why he and Ezekiel were about to have this conversation....and suddenly Ezekiel felt like an asshole.
....And yet Ezekiel knew that he hadn't imagined the things he had been seeing and the changes in Nates behavior that he had been noticing. So what exactly was going on?
Perhaps something was going on. Perhaps it was all in his possessive, needy heart, but....if nothing else Ezekiel realized that he had been handling the entire situation like an unintelligent beast....and not like a rational adult man.
So taking a small breath, Ezekiel came out and voiced his suspicions.
"Nate....do you....uh...." Ezekiel wavered, stopped, cleared his throat and finished with an uncomfortable shrug. "Do you have feelings for Brandon, Nate?"
*Boom! And what do you guys think will happen next? What do you think our mysterious wolf will say?*
- Writer
