The Safety's Sideline Obsession

A Break.....

Noah

I sit back in the big chair to the side of the couch and watch Caylee sleep. When Sean called me and said Caylee had a migraine and wasn’t answering Violet anymore, I hadn’t hesitated to get what she needed. Her migraines are bad. She basically has to lay in a cool dark room and not do anything for at least eight hours. Thankfully it only happens every four or five months but she’s out of commission when they come up. Stress is usually what triggers them. I know she’s probably taking too many classes in her aim to graduate a little early. I wonder what else is bothering her that she had an attack.

I figured she hadn’t eaten so I went to get what I know she wouldn’t refuse. Her surprise that I got her favorite stuff from Natoli’s had stung. A painful but necessary reminder that she only sees me as Sean and Liam’s friend, the honorary family member she used to hang out with. I try not to watch her sleep; try to work on my laptop for Mom’s next writing assignment. Her pretty face is distracting though and my eyes are drawn to her like a magnet anytime she’s around. I sigh and go back to writing. I’d cheated a little and asked Mom if this character she made us create will ever be part of the group assignment. She said no and I made damn sure before I started it. The way she stared at me had me worried but Mom won’t lie to me. I sometimes wonder if she suspects my feelings but she’s never said a word. Her or Dad.

Sean and Liam text me again on the group chat. “She ok?”

“Sleeping now. She’ll probably wake in a little while. Once she does, I’ll make sure she’s ok before I head home.”

“Thanks Noah. More than grateful she has you there.” Yeah but she doesn’t want me….that’s what I start to type back. I really need to get over this.

Instead I reply back. “It’s what we do for each other.”

Around ten, there’s a loud knock on her door. I frown knowing exactly who that is. Jackass should have been here taking care of her instead of at that damn party. My eyes move to Caylee immediately. If he wakes her up, I may throw him out of a window. I silently creep to the door and check the peephole. Sure enough it’s him. He sways a little and I realize he’s probably drunk. I have no intention of answering it for several reasons. He’ll act like a damn fool if he sees me here. He will definitely wake Caylee up if I let him in and the last one is purely selfish. I don’t want to speak a word to him if I don’t have to. He knocks again and I watch her continue to sleep. I hear her phone chime from the kitchen. I put it in there so it wouldn’t wake her. Asshole has been texting her a lot. I’m not sure how she puts up with that.

Five minutes later he finally leaves. I move back to the chair and go back to writing my paper.

Caylee

I hear the soft sounds of a keyboard. My head is sore but I no longer feel like the world is spinning. Nor does my forehead feel like it wants to explode any longer. It’s dark but I slowly turn my head seeing the soft glow from the computer. Noah sits behind it typing away. He stayed?

“No…noah?” I start to sit up. Instantly he’s at my side.

“Not too fast Caylee. You know you need to move slowly.” I nod and let him help me sit up. I blink a few times.

“I’m better. Little dazed and tired but the intense pain is gone.” He nods watching my face carefully. “Thank you for coming.”

He gives me a half smile. “Anytime. I should get home if you’re ok with that.”

“Of course, I hope I didn’t interrupt any plans you had.”

He blows out a short breath. “Nope. I should uh tell you that Joey came by about an hour ago. He looked drunk and he texted you a bunch. I didn’t answer the door so he wouldn’t wake you up.”

“That was a good idea.”

He is packing up his laptop. “I put the extra food in your fridge. I hope you don’t mind, but I ate some of your mom’s lasagna that was in there. Haven’t had it in a while.”

“You know she’d fill your freezer Noah. All you’d have to do is ask.”

He shrugs. “Your mom has had to take care of me enough in her life. Anyway, I’ll get going. See you in class Monday. Call me if you have another attack.”

He walks to the door but then stops. “Come lock it. I still have the extra key but you need to attach the chain before I leave.” I nod and get up slowly. I can feel his stare as I walk over.

I close the door behind him after thanking him again. I hope he didn’t have a date or something. Last night was the football welcome dinner. He would never tell me in case it got back to Sean and Liam. Then they would be upset they sent him here. I sigh. Unable to think any more, I go to bed. When I wake the next morning, it’s late. Like almost eleven. I guess this attack was sleep deprivation and stress provoked. My phone is buzzing and I look over at it. As I unlock it, my eyes pop wide open and I hear the gasp. Sixty-five text messages and like ten voicemails!

I open the texts first. Violet and my brothers of course but they only sent about six total including one today that says “Call us when you wake up. Bet you needed some serious sleep.”

The rest are from Joey.

O.M.G. I only look at the last few.

“Caylee seriously where are you?!”

“You can’t answer your phone?!”

“I am about to come break down the door to check on you. What the f**k Caylee?!”

I take a deep breath before typing. “Hey I’m ok. I just woke up. My medicine knocked me out.”

His reply is instant. “Finally! I’m going to come over.”

“No Joey, I am worn out. I’m just going to lounge around today on the couch.”

“I can bring you lunch. Come check on you. I will just hang out and watch tv with you.”

“Ok. But I seriously have no energy.”

He comes over and lifts me off the ground in a hug. “I was so freaking worried about you. I came by last night and you didn’t come to the door.”

“I was kinda comatose Joey. Remember, I can’t function and need sleep when I have an attack.”

He sets a bag on the counter and I smell Indian food. His favorite but not mine. I hope he got the coconut curry. It’s about the only thing I like from there.

“Go sit baby cakes. I’ll bring your food.” I smile. He’s being thoughtful….

He sets a steaming plate on the table in front of me. Not coconut curry. “Umm Joey what is this called?”

“Kolhapuri chicken. You are going to like it.” He picks his up and I can smell the chilies from here. I don’t handle that kind of spice well. Not that I haven’t tried to because it smells delicious. But it does not agree with my system and with as washed out as I feel, I really don’t want to add to my woes.

He’s busy inhaling his and I slowly stir mine around. It’s steaming hot too. Hoping he’s distracted as he turns the tv on, I kind of push it around. I am hungry but honestly the creamy soup Noah left me is what sounds the most appetizing. After fifteen minutes, he looks over. “You haven’t eaten much.”

“Not that hungry.” I lied. Usually I feel bad about that but today I can’t.

He starts talking about the party last night. “You should have seen Mark, he got so hammered he ripped his shirt off, climbed on a table and started howling at the moon. It was hilarious.”

“Did you get drunk?” I ask as he cracks up laughing.

“Not too bad. I could still drive.” Noah said he could tell he was drunk from the peephole which probably means he was unsteady on his feet.

“Joey, you never drive if you’re close to it. EVER!” I am so angry right now.

“Hey I was ok. I didn’t hit anything. Swerved off the road a few times but I made it.” He shrugs and laughs it off.

I don’t. “That is never ok. You could have hit someone and killed them. Completely irresponsible.” I stand up and set my plate on the island.

“Hey calm down baby cakes. I felt fine to drive.”

I whirl on him furious. “And you won’t be able to recognize that you aren’t! You have no idea how dangerous that truly is do you?”

He laughs which was definitely the wrong thing to do if he’d been actually paying attention to my face and attitude. “You are so cute when you get mad. I’m ok. No harm no foul right?”

“Wrong Joey. Very wrong. Look, I think you need to go home. I am too tired and washed out for company.”

“Caylee I’m sorry. I won’t do it again ok?” He stands up and comes to take me in his arms. I back up and hold a hand out though.

“Good. But really Joey. I am exhausted. I’m going to take a hot bath and then another nap. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

He starts to argue but I shake my head. “Please. I really can’t. My head is still hurting.”

He sighs loudly and then nods. “Alright. Meet for lunch tomorrow?”

“I’ll text you.” He hugs me on the way out and tries to kiss me but I turn my head and let him hit my cheek instead.

After he leaves, I sag against the door. The strong smell of those chilies makes my head throb. I go dump it in the trash and spray some air freshener over it. After my bath, I’ll take the trash out. I am starving too. As I look in my fridge, I see Noah bought a double serving of everything. Seeing that, I freeze and look toward the trash can; the doubts and thoughts I’ve had for weeks now pushing hard and seeming so right.

The guy I’ve been dating for a year can’t remember things I’ve been adamant about not liking. Noah cancelled his plans to come over and take care of me last night. And then there’s the drunk driving. Joey knows why I hate that. Yet he made a joke of it.

I heat up the soup and eat it unable to stop thinking about this. Mama said to relax and let my instincts and feelings guide me. As I soak in the tub, I know what I need to do. It won’t be easy though and I honestly dread it. All night long, I think it over making sure. I feel a peace about it though.

When I call Sean later, he has the whole group with him on video chat. “Hey you feeling better Caycay?”

“Yeah, washed out today but I laid around. Thanks for calling Noah.”

“He said you ate and slept.”

“He pretty much filled up my fridge with Natoli’s.” I laugh a little.

“That’s Noah.” Liam says softly.

I nod. We talk a bit more and I tell them I’m going to bed. I don’t want to tell them my news until I’ve done it. The next day, I text Joey to meet me in my usual spot for lunch. It’s private enough to talk but there will be people all around. I’ve seen enough dateline and then with Mama’s story to know that I need to be in a public place to do this.

He walks up his face lighting up in a smile making my insides twist a little with guilt. But this is about me.

“Hey baby cakes. How are you feeling?”

“Better. Look Joey we need to talk and I need you to listen. This is not easy for me but I don’t want to pretend and lead you on.”

He looks worried. “Baby cakes you are scaring me. Like you’re about to break up with me or something?” He chuckles but it dies when he sees my face.

“Wait no! Caylee you can’t…”

I was going to ease into it more but since he guessed I’ll just lay it out.

“Joey, I think we need to take a break. I think you and I are at different ends of what we want from this relationship. We need some time apart and I’m not sure if we’ll get back together.” I tell him honestly.

He sits looking like I slapped him. “What the hell Caylee? We haven’t had any problems! This is completely out of left field. Did you start seeing someone else over the summer? What the f**k!?” His chest is heaving and his face is getting angrier.

“I would never cheat. And we have had problems you just ignore them. You have been smothering me since school started. You’ve always been that way but it’s like it got worse this year with my brothers and Vi gone. Look I get it, I haven’t said anything to you that would have given you a hint of this but I know this is what I need and what’s right for me. I’m sorry for hurting you. I didn’t want to do that.”

I mean it. He’s done nothing truly wrong; we aren’t meant to be and I have been ignoring it.

I check my phone. “We both have to get to class. We can talk more about this later if you need to but that might make it harder. Though I understand you might need some time to process it and we can talk again. I have to go. I’m sorry.” I bite my lip and turn to leave.

“This isn’t over Caylee. We are going to talk about this later!” He calls after me. I turn watching him as I walk away. He stands looking like I broke his heart. Sadly I may have but mine….mine is feeling at peace again.