Mosaic Moon

Chapter 2-3

His orgasm wracked through his body as he shot against the wall, the thick fluid clinging to the tiles for interminable seconds before the shower spray began to drive it toward the drain. Jesse bowed beneath the now-lukewarm water, the images of her soft body and hot mouth still coloring his thoughts, and welcomed the familiar guilt that came every time he indulged his what-if fantasy about the day they’d talked her into staying in Chicago.

Emma was his friend. Emma was with Ethan. Emma was…

“Having fun without me?”

The amusement in Gideon’s low voice made Jesse snap back up, peering out through the translucent shower curtain to see him lounging against the door jamb. So wrapped up in his fantasy, he’d never even heard Gideon come in.

“No.” That was technically true. This wasn’t Jesse’s idea of fun. “How was your meeting?”

“Routine. There’s a nest across the Wisconsin border that’s starting to hunt in the city. They just want me to put a stop to it. How was your morning with Emma?”

Jesse turned off the water and reached for a towel. “Fine. She apparently had the best time last night with Ethan.” Winding the towel around his waist, he stepped out of the shower. “I keep thinking of the girl who wanted to run away to Montana so she could have a little bit of peace, and I’m impressed with how far she’s come. And happy for her. I am.”

Gideon’s gaze grew thoughtful. “Who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?”

Jesse’s lips thinned. “I’m not trying to convince anybody of anything.” Jesse tried to leave, but Gideon didn’t move an inch from the door, effectively trapping him. “What?”

Several seconds passed where Gideon let his eyes drift down Jesse’s body, lingering on his wrapped hips for a moment before glancing back to the shower. “I hate it when you lie to me,” he finally said. “But I think I hate it more when you’re lying to yourself. We both know you were thinking about her when you were jerking off.”

For a moment, Jesse considered taking his chances with the lie. But lying to Gideon was rarely a clever plan, and it never ended well for him. “I was thinking about you, too.”

“It’s okay to have feelings for her, you know. And being attracted to Emma is more than understandable.” His mouth twitched as a smile threatened to break free. “We had more than a couple good times fantasizing about her when we were hunting down the art ring.”

“I don’t have feelings for her,” Jesse countered. “I have feelings for you. And as for being attracted to her…” He shrugged. “Well, you’re right. It’s understandable.”

“So why are you trying to hide it?”

“Why am I trying to hide it from her?”

“From her, from me, from yourself. You know that’s why you don’t like Ethan, don’t you? You’re jealous.”

Jesse had a whole series of arguments that he could make. It started with the more childish shut up, Gideon, and matured from there. “Even if you were right, and you’re not, what does it matter? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Gideon, but I’m her best girlfriend, and she’s smitten with Ethan.” Jesse frowned. “Why are we even having this conversation? Are you encouraging me to do something about it?”

“Smitten is a strong word.” Pushing away from the door, Gideon finally gave Jesse enough room to escape the steamy confines of the bathroom, though Gideon was the first to move. “And I’m not encouraging you to do anything,” he said. “I’m telling you to figure out what it is you want.” He paused at the bottom of the stairs leading up to the office. “I know you’re an old pro at tolerating the status quo, but look at what happened when you laid it on the line for me. And I think we’ve turned out pretty damn good.”

With one last inscrutable glance, he disappeared up the stairs.

Jesse sighed. He knew what he wanted. He wanted Emma to be happy, to have the sort of life she always wanted but couldn’t quite reach. Ethan clearly could provide that, and Jesse wasn’t so deluded as to think that she could find that same kind of happiness with him. For one thing, too much of his life and heart was utterly devoted to Gideon. For another thing, he couldn’t help her with her abilities the way Ethan could. He didn’t understand what she was going through. And finally, there was a lot to be said for the status quo. At least she was in their lives now. Who was to say that would be the case if he pushed for something more?