Winter's Beast

Leaving home

Winter

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“Remember to keep this to yourself. Dad will kill me if he finds out that I helped you.”

I nod at Cree, my thirty-second older brother.

That sounds like no time at all, doesn’t it?

But myself, Cree, and our triplet counterpart Kailus weren’t born in the conventional way. Eighteen years ago next week, our mother, Starr, was kidnapped by the God of Darkness, Erebus. He literally tore my siblings and me out of our mother’s body. He left my mother and brothers to die while taking me to a far-off place. You see, Erebus wanted to make me his mate. There would have been no choice for me, and if Fenrir hadn’t found and saved me, Goddess knows where I would be now. In servitude to a mad God, no doubt.

As grateful as I have always been that Fenrir saved me, I don’t want to be his mate either. The day is drawing nearer to him coming for me. I will have to leave my family and pack and move to Goddess knows where with him.

But I won’t be going anywhere with the Lycan God. I have been training for years on how to fight and take care of myself. It wasn’t easy in any sense of the word. Dad allowed me to train but couldn’t let go of the fact that I was his little girl. Everyone went easy on me, even when I asked them not to. Nobody wanted to anger the Alpha if they hurt me.

All I needed was one person to treat me as they did everyone else. The only person who would help me is Cree. He saw how badly I needed someone to help me, and he did.

Kailus has been training to take over the pack from Dad since he was a baby. My eldest brother will be a good Alpha, though he has little tolerance for me. Many years ago, everyone treated me like a leper, Kailus, more than anyone. Cree would do as Kailus said, as would Kayson, our youngest brother. Anyone in our age range would follow Kailus’ lead and bully me. They never physically hurt me, but I used to wish they would.

That sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it?

But you see, verbal and mental abus.e can sometimes be much worse than physical. At least if someone hits you, your body will recover. It’s not as easy to get over mental abus.e.

Mom caught on to how withdrawn I was becoming and asked me for the truth of why. I didn’t want to tell her; I didn’t want everyone to hate me more. But I couldn’t keep it to myself when Mom swore she would know if I lied to her. So, I told Mom everything, and she hit the roof.

Mom called a pack meeting, demanding every member attend, regardless of age. Mom was so angry that she cried frustrated tears as she made it clear what would happen if anyone mistreated me again. I was embarrassed because everyone was staring at me. I was ten years old and thought the pack would turn on me even more.

My grandmother, Aria, stood up with my mother and shouted about how disgusted she was with everyone. It didn’t matter that I was never physically hurt; verbal abus.e and being excluded from things were just as bad, she said. Everyone apologized, and I forgave them all, even if they didn’t mean what they said. I did so because I saw the look Kailus was giving me. He would make me sorry if I didn’t say everything was okay.

Dad sat with me that day and held me, saying he was sorry for being so hard on me. Not letting me visit Lykos and my Lycan family had been my punishment for three years. Dad was scared I would run away and try finding Finn, my best friend who disappeared from my life when I was seven. Finn was not in our pack, and I never asked where he came from. But Dad was adamant that Finn was a threat to us and me, and he didn’t want me out of his sight again.

Mom explained that what happened when I was born terrified Dad to the point he was scared to let me go anywhere or do anything. Growing up with an over-protective father was difficult, but I finally understood why he treated me that way.

Life became easier for me in many ways after that day. However, one or two still made fun of me for my speech impediment. I haven’t spoken out loud in almost eleven years, but it doesn’t stop those I grew up with from saying things. I learned to ignore them and walk around with a smile on my face. I always remembered Finn’s words when we were children.

‘Your voice is not who you are, Winter. Never let others make you feel less than them because of your voice. To me, you are perfect. Always remember that, my Winter Starr.'

I kept those words in my heart. It may have been hard when Finn first vanished, but I pulled myself together and kept those words alive. Whenever I feel down, I hear Finn’s voice in my head. It’s the only way I’ve been able to keep going all these years.

Cree has been helping me with my fighting skills. Dad wouldn’t be angry about that; he’d be angry that Cree has been helping me prepare to leave this place. I took a chance when I went to Cree and asked for his help. But of my three brothers, it’s Cree, who I’m closest to and the one I know I can count on. My brother doesn’t believe I’m doing the right thing in trying to find Finn, and he’s worried I’ll be hurt. But he also knows I’m dying inside with the need to be with the man I love.

I finish attaching my long blades to the holsters at my hips. Cree hands me a backpack filled with provisions, which I slip my arms through. Cree then reaches around me and pulls the hood of my black cloak over my head.

‘Why do you look so sad?’ I ask through the mind link.

“Because I'm sending my baby sister off to find a man who could possibly kill her.”

‘Finn would never hurt me, Cree.’

“How can you say that, Winter? You don’t know the man Finn grew up to be. Sure, he was nice to you when you were children. But he’s not a child anymore. He could be a ruthless killer, for all you know.”

Cree is correct. However… ‘Regardless of the man Finn grew up to be, I know in my heart that he loves me as I do him.’

Cree sighs. “Say that he does. What happens when Fenrir comes looking for you? He won’t just walk away, Winter. Selene paired you with Fenrir before you were even born, and the Gods don’t like to lose.”

‘Grandmother Selene also said I have free will. If I wish to reject Fenrir, then I can.’ Not that anyone could force me to be with Fenrir, even if they tried.

“And you think Fenrir will just accept that? That he won’t come after you? Kill Finn?”

‘I would hope Fenrir wouldn’t do that.’

“And if this Finn doesn’t want you? What then, Winter?”

I swallow hard. Of course, I’ve thought about what would happen if Finn didn’t want me. I love him, but that doesn’t mean he loves me the same way. All I have is hope.

‘If Finn doesn’t want me, then I’ll come home, Cree. I’ll accept Fenrir, and everyone will be happy.’

“Everyone but you. I want you to be happy, Winter.”

‘That’s why I have to do this, Cree. I have to find out once and for all if Finn and I could have something special.’

Cree sighs. “It’s your life, but why am I doing this again?” I smile as Cree chuckles.

‘Because you, outside of everyone here, understand what Finn means to me, and... you care about me.’

“Winter,” Cree sighs with sadness in his eyes. “Of course, I care about you. I love you. Don’t you know that?” A tear slips from my eye as Cree pulls me into his arms. I cling to him because I need this.

I don’t want to make Kailus and Kayson sound like monsters. But I know Kailus is embarrassed by me and my inability to speak the way he thinks I should. It’s not my fault that I stammer uncontrollably. Kailus has never physically hurt me, and he would protect me with his life; I know that. But this is who I am, and one day, I hope he can embrace me as Cree does.

If Kailus found out what I was about to do, he would stop me. He would restrain me while calling for our father, Alpha Kai. Mom would be angry with me, but she would only try to make me understand that trying to find my childhood friend could end badly. For all I know, Finn is a rogue. But I don’t care – I just don’t care! I have dreamed about Finn for years, and my heart just won’t settle until I find him.

Am I scared of what will happen when Fenrir finds out his mate ran off to be with another?

I'm terrified. Fenrir could kill Finn and drag me away with him. But there is something inside that tells me Finn is not a man to be messed with, and I pray that he can hold his own against Fenrir.

Who the hell am I trying to kid?

No one, not even a Wolf, could hold their own against a God like Fenrir.

‘I love you, too, Cree. Take care of everyone for me?’

“Always.” My brother kisses my head, and I pull away from him. “Take care out there, Winter. Take this,” Cree places his Sacred Whistle in my hand.

‘Cree, I can’t take this.’

Our great-grandmother, the Moon Goddess Selene, gave Cree the Sacred Whistle on his eleventh birthday. The whistle is said to hold magical powers. If the wearer is in trouble, all they have to do is blow the whistle, and Selene herself will appear to help. Selene gave it to Cree, and she gave Kailus a horn that held the same power. As hunters, they are alone in the wilderness a lot. These gifts will keep them safe, and now Cree is giving his to me.

“Yes,” Cree folds his hand around mine, encasing the whistle within. “Kailus and I always hunt together, so I won’t be without a sacred object. You’re going to be out in the wild all alone. I’m not stopping you from doing this because I want you to be happy. But I need you to take the whistle for protection. If you get into trouble out there, blow the whistle, and I will hear it. Blow it, and I’ll find you faster than you can blink.”

I close my eyes and nod my head. I have never felt more loved by my brother than I do at this moment.

‘Thank you, Cree, for everything.’ Cree smiles, and that smile shows just how handsome my brother is. ‘What will you tell Mom and Dad?’

“Don’t worry about that right now. Leave it all to me, and I’ll make sure they don’t follow you.”

My father will follow me. Daddy would never just sit back and accept that I’m gone. Alpha Kai has struggled all my life to give me some freedom. I know it didn’t come from a place of malice but a place of fear. But I have to do this; I must know if Finn is out there and if he still loves me.

Cree sprays masking spray over me from head to toe. With masking spray, it means no one will be able to follow my scent. While on a hunt last week, Cree acquired the spray from a Witch he met two years ago. She was hurt in the woods, and Cree saved her. Laura, the Witch, told Cree that if he ever needed anything, then all he had to do was ask. I don’t know how Cree found Laura again, but I will be forever grateful.

Cree tucks the spray into my backpack before telling me, “Go now before someone wakes up and realizes what’s going on.”

I kiss my brother’s cheek, turn, and run into the forest under the cover of darkness. I pray I find Finn soon, and I hope I haven’t just made the biggest mistake of my life.

AN: So, here is the first chapter of Winter's Beast just to give you a taste of what's to come. Let me know what you think!

This book will begin either at the end of August or the first week in September, depending on The Gamma Prince's Broken Mate's compete.tion schedule. Please add it to your library and click 'Remind me of updates'