Apprehension
1269 Words
Zahraa POV
Rowan picked us up and carried us back to the ward quarters. I gathered that some of our interviews were far more strenuous than others. Two of the five wards were outright rejected – they needed to go home, pack, and find quarters elsewhere by Monday evening. A sweet girl by the name of Julia was one, and we listened to her quiet sobs in solemn silence.
None of us had received a straight answer today, except for those two, and we all knew that when we got our answers Monday, it could be us next.
We shuffled out of the van and prepared to head off with heads hung low.
“Zahraa,” Rowan called me out again, and I turned to see him getting out of the car. “Hey,” he greeted, somewhat awkwardly.
“Yes, alpha?” I asked quizzically.
“No need for that much formality,” he smiled, and it was as bright and warm as the summer sun. “I was only wondering if you were going to the party tonight.”
I nodded hesitantly. “Ingrid and my other friends are going, so I planned to go along with them.”
He nodded, “Of course, of course. I was wondering if you might spare me a dance tonight?”
I blushed – I couldn’t help it. I never considered myself much of a romantic, but if I had to choose anyone as my first crush, it would be Rowan. He was tall, not too muscular, but strong, with shaggy brown hair and eyes that were beautiful oak-tree brown, but more so than that, they were kind. Everything he did, every move he made was for the people of his territory – and that included us wards.
“Of course, alpha,” I replied, “Whenever you like.”
His smile broadened. “I’ll hold you to that, then.” His expression tightened, and he c****d his head ever so slightly in the way he did when receiving a link. His face fell, and he looked quite serious when he added, “Sorry. I need to get going – but I’ll see you again tonight.”
“Sure,” I said, dumbly, as I stood and watched him load into his van and run off.
I was still standing there dissecting the conversation when Ingrid appeared behind me. “Hey, I was on the steps waiting for you,” she nudged my side sharply, and in a singsong voice added, “What was that?”
“Nothing,” I gulped, knowing I’d spat the word out too quickly to be believable. “Nothing, he was just… asking about the party tonight.”
“Oh was he?” Ingrid’s grin only widened. “You know Alpha Rowan is the pack’s most eligible bachelor. If you snagged that hottie, everyone would be jealous.”
“Ingrid, I’m sure Rowan’s more interested in someone closer to his own rank,” I laughed as she nudged me, but the mirth died away in mere seconds. “Besides. I can’t think about things like that, remember?”
Ingrid’s joy faded as quickly as mine.
She was only ten when she was assigned as my handler. Technically, her mother was at first – but since we went to the same school, the responsibility trickled to Ingrid. She didn’t mind, though. In fact, Ingrid was a bright and joyful child. We’d made fast friends, and while our years of friendship weren’t absent any disagreements, we were as close as ever.
“Sorry,” she slung her arm around me and started me towards my apartment. “Let’s get you changed into something more comfortable, then we’ll grab lunch and get ready at my house.”
“Sure,” I sighed. It wasn’t until we were in the elevator and part way up the shaft that I cast her a side eye. “You know, the aide that interviewed me was Jacob.”
She recoiled with disgust, “Ew. Did he say anything to you? Do anything to you – oh, that reminds me! Alanis is pissed that you two ran off together last night! You know she has a strict come together, leave together policy.”
“I’ll apologize when I see her. But Alpha Rowan showed up, and I didn’t want him to catch me there.”
“And Jacob?” she asked, concern evident on her face.
I tried not to hesitate – I didn’t want her to know that there was more to that story. “He went with me through a Door, but he left right after.”
The elevator dinged as it hit my floor. I noticed right away that Edgar hadn’t retreated into his apartment yet, which I found strange. His head perked when he saw me, but his chin dipped when he realized I had company.
I slipped Ingrid my keys. “Could you go on ahead? I want to talk to Edgar real quick.”
“Sure,” she said, and I could tell she thought it was a cheap gambit to interrupt our talk about Jacob.
She wasn’t wrong.
“Edgar, what’s wrong?” I asked, as she moved along and I stopped alongside him.
“Um. Nothing.” The lie was apparent; he shuffled his feet and dodged eye contact. “I just. Wondered if you knew what you were going to do if you have to leave.”
“Well, it’s not too late to apply for housing on campus,” I replied, though the thought filled me with dread. “And I could always work part-time for spending money. It wouldn’t be easy, but…” I saw the way he fell deeper into despair and shut up. “Oh. That’s right… you didn’t get into college.”
“Yeah…” Edgar sighed. “I know I should’ve tried a little more in school it’s just…” he shook his head, as if banishing some of the more difficult thoughts. “I’m not like you. I can’t tell who is and isn’t human, and it’s scary.”
“Have you been keeping up with your therapist?” I knew it was a nosy question, but Edgar and I were honestly close enough for it by now. “Have you talked to her about this?”
Edgar scowled. “She wants to put me on drugs. That’s all. It’s always ‘try taking this!’ ‘did you take this?’ ‘I think this could really help you!’” He shook his head, scowl deepening. “I’m not crazy. And I don’t think a wolf could ever really understand me anyway.”
I nodded. Wolves were a lot of things – proud, loyal, strong – and those qualities were great. But they could lead to shortsightedness when it came to how others feel and react and live. I could understand that as well as he could. “Did you put in a request to be switched to a human therapist? You know they could probably find you an enlightened one?”
He shuffled his feet again. “No. Rowan…” he shook his head. “I couldn’t.”
My heart ached for him.
“But uh, you have company, so I should let you go,” he said. “Have fun at your party tonight.”
I stopped myself before I asked if he was going – of course he wasn’t. “Thanks, Edgar. Talk to you later.”
He ducked his head and shuffled back to his door, muttering a dejected, "Yeah," in response.
- Writer
