His Unidentified & Untouchable Mate

Getting Between Them (2)

Zahraa POV

I was smart enough to know that Rowan was using honey to attract me. I could see the subtle manipulation beneath the surface; I could see the trap he was laying. It was frightening, but less frightening than returning to Jacob.

I fetched and prepared his coffee, loading it on a little silver tray to carry over to him. Though I’d done this a few times already, I hesitated at his door. I didn’t know what I would find anymore – and I didn’t want to anger him.

Still, I rapped on the door with my knuckles, and waited for the muffled come in.

I walked in and set the coffee down, a surprising surge of fury rising within me. I put the tray down with more force than necessary, and handed him his coffee, ignoring the slosh of brown liquid that sprinkled over his paperwork.

“Zahraa,” he said, without a trace of anger. With all the tone of a dog that had just been kicked by its owner, he said, “I really wasn’t expecting you today.”

A special kind of fury came over me. Wordlessly, I rolled my sleeve up to expose a brown band, darker than the rest of my skin.

It was satisfying to see the range of emotions over his face. First, shock. Then disbelief, then shame and grief. “Zahraa, I…”

“It’s okay,” I said with a tone that conveyed anything but okay. “I know you’re just pent up. I know you just think with your other head. You’re just a man. You can’t help it, right?”

“Zahraa, no,” he shook his head, standing and coming to the edge of his desk. He hesitated there, as if he weren’t sure he was allowed to come closer. “No, I-”

“Is this your idea of honoring the mate bond?” I asked. “Did you do this with your other girlfriends: throw them around until they caved to your demands?”

“No,” he was more assertive. “No, Zahraa, I didn’t want to hurt you, I just didn’t want to-”

“I understand perfectly well. Because I’m not free, am I? I’m just, what, your property?” My face was contorted with rage, and every flinch he made gave me more confidence to continue. “Rowan is right – you’re completely out of line.”

He stilled. “You saw Rowan again?”

“I did,” I spat. “Do you have a problem with that?”

Jacob snarled, and I flinched. “Yes, I do. Because – and I still don’t know how or why – but he upset you yesterday.”

“You upset me too,” I reminded him. “And first, at that.”

“I’m sorry, Zahraa. I don’t know what to say – I’m an i***t. A thoughtless, brainless idiot.” His face grew pinched as he admitted, “I never should’ve picked her over you. I should’ve tossed her out. And if she waltzed in here right now, I’d throw her out in a heartbeat.”

I scoffed. “Of course you would. I’m standing right here. It’s when I’m not standing here that I have to worry about you.”

He opened and shut his mouth a few times, then took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are,” I spat.

There was a moment of tense silence in which we stared at each other, holding a silent war in our gaze. I tried to think of what I wanted from him – in a harsh moment of anger, I decided nothing at all. Without the mate bond, what were we to each other anyway? Why should the rules of the werewolves bind me?

But in a strange way, I felt a pull too. Not what he felt, I’m sure, but a kind of nostalgia. A familiarity. I felt at home with him, even when I knew I shouldn’t. Not after he handled me the way he had. I took a deep breath, and when I felt ready, I said, “I will work as your secretary today, but after that, I quit.”

His eyes narrowed, pained as if I’d kicked his shin. “Zahraa…”

“And I think you should rethink your challenge with Alpha Rowan. You’ll only get hurt over nothing.” I paused for a moment, then clarified, “Because after last night, we are nothing. I’d reject you, but I fear you won’t let me. I’ll remind you that you are the one feeling the mate bond. It doesn’t bother me a bit to leave it intact.”

“Zahraa,” his hands twitched, as if he couldn’t decide if he wanted to reach out. “Zahraa, I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was… I’m just…”

“It doesn’t matter,” I said softly. “It doesn’t matter why, or how. What matters is that you did. In the heat of the moment, you chose violence. How can I trust that you won’t again?”

“Because I think I love you.”

The words came out of nowhere, and struck me through the chest like a bolt. “We’ve known each other for less than a month,” I stated calmly. “How could you possibly-”

“I don’t know,” he started pacing again – and I hated that. The pacing – his calm before the storm. I backed myself against the wall, far out of his path. “When I’m with you, everything feels right and wrong at the same time. But you’re all I think about anymore. You’re so strong and resilient, how could I not love you?”

“Is this how you treat a woman you love?” I asked, voice low – dangerously low. Behind me something shattered, and we both jumped. It was a porcelain pot formerly holding a small succulent plant. Now, dirt and an expansive root system spread over the carpet, dotted with green spots of waxy leaves.

We both stared at it like it was some kind of omen. I acted first, kneeling in front of it and picking up the shards in silence.

Jacob joined me. “Zahraa, I could never apologize enough. Right now, here in this moment, what do you want me to do?”

“Call off the challenge,” I replied without hesitation. I’m not sure why I should bother – both men were acting trashy. My friends were right about that much. But still, Rowan had been there for me throughout my childhood. Jacob was, supposedly, my one and only fated mate. Though I might not want anything to do with them personally right now, I didn’t want to see either of them battered.

“I can’t.” He kept his head down, sweeping dirt into the palm of his hand. “I wish I’d never made that stupid challenge. It was in the heat of the moment – but backing down would show weakness and I just can’t.” He stood and dumped what he’d collected into the trash. “Rowan is my brother. I’ve never hated him – even now, I don’t. I don’t want to fight him, but I can’t let him come in between us, and I can’t-”

“There is no us,” I reminded him. “You ended that last night.” I stood, dumping the poor succulent in the trash and heading to the door. “And that’s all that is left that I would ask of you.” I left, and was surprised that he let me. Outside the room, ugly feelings started bubbling up.

I knew I needed to fetch the hand vacuum and clean up the mess, but when I got to the broom closet and no one else was there, I shut the door after myself and let loose another barrage of tears.

If this kept up, I wouldn’t have any left.