Loving My Mate

Mates Pt. 2

-BRIGHTON POV-

I know I’m procrastinating to attend this party, but I can’t help it. I’m such a ball of nerves. My wolf is dancing around in my head, causing me unease. I tell myself that it’s because I’m going solo, but that would be a lie. It’s because, more than likely, I’ll run into Harrison. I just don’t know how to respond once I see him. I finally put my dress on after I finished my hair and makeup, and now I’ve been looking in the mirror for 5 minutes. My champagne dress is floor length with a sweetheart neckline and off the shoulder see-through fitted sleeves with embellishments. Its skin tight, making my body look more curvy than it actually is. The heels I put on are small enough to where the bottom of the dress barely graces the floor. I decided to leave my hair down in long waves. I didn’t put on a lot of makeup, because it’s only going to be a couple of hours, then I just have to wash my face. I shrug my shoulders “I guess this is as good as it’s going to get.”

I missed the actually ceremony and the crowd seems to be in party mode. The venue is at this historic building close to the boarder of our territory. From the outside, it looks similar to a plantation house, but the owners created a ball room addition for events and special occasions. The night air is crisp and cool, seeing as the season is on the cusp of fall. Walking up through small groups of people, you can see the ball room of dancers through the floor to ceiling windows. I am in awe of the beauty that Maggie has been able to create with the space. She chose regal colors of whites and golds and there are flowers filling up the centerpieces on each table. The overhead chandeliers make the room shine as everyone dances and mingles.

When I look at the dancefloor to see if I know anyone, my breath hitches when I finally see him. My heartrate accelerates instantly and my mouth becomes dry. Harrison has grown up well. Even in a navy blue tux, you can see how built he is. He kept his hair short, which is gelled back. It only enhances his sharp jawline, peppered with just the right amount of stubble. And his eyes, goddess those honey brown eyes just sparkle. His shoulders are so broad and a waistline like a swimmer’s build. I can’t look away. Even though it’s been 8 years, he still has that effect on me. My wolf begins to rustle as if she’s excited to see the view I’m looking at.

Chill girl. We’’ll get to talk to him in a little bit.

My Harris bubble gets popped when I see a feminine hand trace across his chest, gliding down his stomach. He’s dancing with a beautiful blonde woman and they look happy together. They match each other really well- both in designer outfits and faces that sparkle. My wolf whines and I get angry, but I don’t know why. I have no ties to him, and I shouldn’t be getting jealous.

“We’ll brighten my day gorgeous.”

I roll my eyes and turn around to tell off this p*****t, but instead, my eyes bulge and I jump into his arms, hugging him tightly. “Mark! Wow it’s so good to have you back!” He kisses my cheek and I blush. He hasn’t changed behavior wise, but he’s definitely bulked up. His hair is down, gracing the tops of his shoulders, and he’s sporting a full beard. God, he’s so sexy.

“You look stunning Brighton- I can’t believe it’s you!” He says as he twirls me around. When he puts me down, he drops an arm across the tops of my shoulders and gazes into the window with me.

“Didn’t see you at the ceremony,” he points out.

I let out a sigh. “Oh you know how it is, being a female, gotta be fashionably late every now and then.”

He snickers while leaning towards my ear “Liar, liar pants on fire.” We both laugh and I can’t help myself. He already knows I’m staring at him. “So…. Who is she?”

“She’s the only daughter of Alpha Nathan from the Crescent Moon pack. We ran into a nasty entanglement and now she’s here looking for a mate.” Nasty entanglement? Must’ve been Harris. His playboy ways are no secret among the pack.

“Well looks like she doesn’t really care, rubbing up on him like that.” I try really hard to not sound jealous, but I know it’s not coming off. Mark starts chuckling and steers my body towards the entrance “Trust me babe. He’s not going near her again. It’s too much trouble.”

We walk inside and Mark starts talking about the amazing food they had catered and some people he wanted to introduce me to. His voice starts fading out when I get a whiff of the most amazing aroma I’ve ever smelled. It’s a woodsy smell, cedar or pine, on the first day of summer. I turn and walk out of Marks embrace, seeking out the source.

MATE!

My heartbeat becomes erratic. My mate. Finally. After all this time, and he’s finally here. So many thoughts are drifting through my head as I’m looking through the endless crowd. How do I look? Will I make him happy? Am I good enough for him? My anxiety is building and I can feel my wolf reaching out to calm me. His scent is getting stronger, so I know he’s looking for me. I finally turn around, and I can’t believe my eyes. Standing not even twenty feet from me is my mate…. And it’s Harris! I can feel my wolf dancing for joy, but his emotionless face pauses me from taking any more steps. Does he not want me? Judging by the thin line of his mouth he doesn’t seem happy. But we’re mates- he has to feel something, right? And we have so much history together, more good than bad. I’ve never felt my heart go through so much before in such a short period of time. As he starts talking slow steps, distorted memories fill my head. Him yelling at me to eat because I’m too weak for training. Him carrying me home when I was sick because I was a fool. Him telling everyone that I tried too hard to fit in, because I will never fit in. I will never be good enough.

I’m not good enough.

Tears start pooling my eyes as realization dawns on me. I’m not good enough for Harrison. I’m not suitable enough to be his luna. And as he approaches me, I can feel him rejecting me. My wolf is going crazy in my head as I can feel pain sever my heart. When he gets close enough to me to stop, I can’t bear to hear him say the words, so I just accept.

With tears flowing down my cheeks and with a shaky breath, I announce “I B-Brighton of the O-Opus Moon pack, accept your r-rejection,” and I turn around and run.

I run to my car and slam the door shut and let out sob after sob. I crank the car up crying through my pain. My wolf howls at me to turn back, but there is no turning back.

He doesn’t want us. She tries to tell me otherwise but I won’t listen.

My eyes have already started to puff out it’s hard to see, but I finally made it back home. The tears continue to pour as I crash down to the floor of my studio. I start hiccupping and heaving because I can’t breathe. Laying in the floor I reach out into my memories of us and it just hurts so bad. Why couldn’t I have been good enough for him? I would have loved him with everything I had. The more I think, the more hurt is stabbed into my chest. I can’t do this. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to remember.

I peel myself off the floor and head outside to the storage room. I haven’t pulled these bottles out in many years, but I don’t know what else to do. I slam open the door and start throwing boxes, looking for the alcohol that can knock me on my ass and help me forget. I finally find the bin, pop open the lid and pull out three bottles of crystal clear liquor. I sit on the ground and pop open one of the bottles. I’m surprised I still have tears left in me, but they keep coming out. Is this how I’m to spend the rest of my life? Unloved and unwanted by the one person destined to be with me? I chug the drink despite the god awful taste.

“Who the f**k is in he---- Brighton? What the hell, what’s wrong?” I look at my best friend in the whole world through teary eyes and I can’t help but to sob once more. I hold my head as I cry into my knees. Dustin comes to sit next to me and pulls me into his lap and starts rocking me.

“sshhh baby girl, it’s okay.” He sounds like he’s trying to convince himself, because he doesn’t know how to make it okay. It only makes me feel worse, causing me to cry harder. He starts rubbing circles on my back cooing me until I can form sentences again. Sniffing and sucking up large gulps of air, I look up to him. He looks lost and doesn’t know how to help me. I don’t even know how to help me. “He doesn’t want me Dustin… h-he doesn’t w-want me.”

“Who doesn’t Brighton? Tell me what’s going on,” he pleas.

“M-my mate rejected me… Harrison rejected me.”

Tears flooding his shirt as I put my face into his shoulder. He went stiff after what I confessed, and raised me off his lap so he could look into my face. Anger clouds his face, veins probing in his neck and forehead, but he has no words. There are no words. I start to stand up and gather the bottles up. “I’ll be in my room. I don’t want to see anyone.” He knows he can’t argue with me. We’ve been through this scenario before. He stands up and hugs me hard, but I just stand with my arms dangling at my sides, bottles in hand, with more tears burning in my eyes. When he lets go, I just walk back to the house. I can feel his eyes on me and I know the concern that he has, but I don’t care. I’m tired of feeling, and I’m tired of pain. Walking up the stairs I keep chugging on the bottle, hoping it will hit sooner than later.