Love Reset

I'm Allina, an Alvarez. I said it that way because the Alvarez family is known in our town as the family who likes to give everything they have. You name every charity in the place and you'll bet that they have already helped them in so many ways. I guess that's where I got my trait where I also give everything I have, even without expecting in return, wringing myself dry and empty in the process. I'm not from a dysfunctional family, because usually if you came from one then you'll automatically assume that love will never last. Both my parents are still married and their love for each other just grows with every moment they spend together. So that's where my idea came from, the idea that the more time you spend together the more love you will both have. But nobody told me that "Love" was supposed to be like this, the kind where you can't eat anything at all because your heart hurts from crying, you feel it squeezing everything in your chest as if it feels like-as cliche as it sounds- like a heart attack is about to doom you. It's not supposed to be chaotic, it's not supposed to be like this. He is not supposed to be like this. "Why did I end up with you anyway?" "I'm not happy being with you." "I should have left you years ago." Dion wasn't always like this, in fact, he was the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me. Our journey before becoming a couple was the best if you would ask me, the awkward small talks that make you giddy later on, unsolicited glimpses and once our eyes met we would immediately avoid gazes and a smile would creep up on our face.  I once believed that he was the man I'm going to marry. Was... until he suddenly changed.  All I could think of now is that I shouldn't have met him, I shouldn't have talked to him or looked at him if I knew this was going to happen. Hell, I shouldn't have existed in the same place as him if it means avoiding all this.  I wish this didn't happen. I thought as I stride down the well-lit road after a tiring day in my internship, originally I was supposed to be a well-known comic artist but because of some unfortunate circumstances, I ended up in a worn-down publishing company with a broken coffee maker and boring officemates. As I arrived in my small apartment, Dion was already on his way out leaving behind a clutter of mess in the living room. All his clothes and used plates, scattered, and he doesn't give a single damn about it since he knows that I'll always clean it up. It's always me, I'm the only one having a hard time. "Di, where are you going at this hour?" I sullenly asked not even looking at his eyes since I'm tired seeing his lifeless gaze whenever his once bright orbs land on me. I walked past him and placed my bag down on the floor before staring at him put on his shoes. "I'm just going out for a walk." He replied, grunting afterward as he finds it difficult to fit his foot in his old shoes. "Don't wait for me, I'll be home late." He then stood up and left, somehow making the place filled with his gloomy aura. I stood there for a couple of seconds, waiting. Waiting for him to come through that door once again since he realized that we haven't been spending much time together.  Or maybe he suddenly had a change of heart and felt that he still loves me, waiting that he'll notice how much it hurts me to see us becoming like this. So I stood there, wiping my eyes before a tear could escape. I have no time to be hurt, in fact, I got so used to it that it doesn't bother me anymore. I looked at the mess he made and decided that I won't touch it, this is too much for me. I walked back towards the door and left. I don't know where to, I just want to be out of that suffocating place filled with memories of shouting and quarreling. I have had enough of this treatment, he promised me to be at peace whenever I'm with him but all he gave me was a living hell. I want to leave him, leave and have another life but what I couldn't understand is that I can't. No matter how much he treated me like a pest or how much we fought to the point of throwing things at each other I just couldn't bring myself to leave him. Mad lunatic. Is what I assumed people would immediately think of me if they see me stomping my way at the sidewalk, hands clenched into a fist and with furrowed brows. I'm angry at Dion for treating me like this, I'm angry at the world for making my life like this and I'm more angry at myself for not being able to just leave him behind, why can't I just do it?  I was fuming too much I randomly kicked a street lamp too hard for my foot to handle. "Stupid lamp." I hissed under my breath as I pretend not to get hurt by the impact since people are looking at me. Luckily, there was a conveniently placed bench just behind the street lamp and I thought that maybe a lot of people kicked this lamp and got hurt so they had to place a bench here for them to sit on and cry the pain out. Pushing my nonsense thought behind I sluggishly sat there, once I settled down, my line of sight focused at the restaurant just across the street. It was lively in there, almost looked like there was a party or something with all the cheery faces and festive aura the people in there are emitting. They were so happy, too happy, to the point that I almost didn't recognize Dion there. I was so used to seeing him so desolate whenever he's with me that I forgot what he looked like when having fun. Apparently, he's with his college friends who I never got to meet since he refuses to introduce me to them and one girl, in particular, was very close to him. Anyone would think that she's the girlfriend based on the way the two of them are acting. Ah. I thought as I felt another heart-wrenching pain. This is what I needed, a little push. This is all I need to muster up the strength to finally leave him. A painful sight too much for me to handle. All this time this is the only thing that could make me realize what is needed to be done and actually having the courage to do it. He's unhappy being with me after all, I should just leave. "Why is she crying?" I heard from behind me, two women whispering at each other noticed my tears before I could.  I hurriedly wiped my tears and said "Stupid lamp!'' I kicked it again to show that I'm crying not because my love has ended but because of my painful foot from kicking it earlier. "This. . . stupid. . . lamp" I said in between sobs, uncontrollable sobs. It's too much, this is too much for me. All those years with him wasted, all those promises, all the hardships. What's worse is that it took me 4 years to finally wake up from this nightmare. I noticed murmurs from the passing crowd as well as judgemental glares and I the mature one handled it professionally "What?! Is this your first time seeing a crying woman?!" I lashed out on them. I think God is playing a trick on me because after I yelled, a couple was just passing by, a loving relationship that I didn't experience is here right in front of me.  I glared at them "You." I pointed at the girl and she was shocked to realize that me, an angry weeping woman ready to stab anyone, is talking to her.  "Y-yes?" She asked while clenching the sleeves of her boyfriend. "He's gonna leave you sooner or later." I hissed before walking away, certain that they think I'm mental. As I, once again, was stomping angrily through the park that will eventually lead me back to my stupid apartment, my eyes suddenly caught a glimpse of a pink and bright printed ad posted on a tree, as flashy as it looks I didn't spare a second to analyze it and continued walking to find myself once again looking at another pink flyer glued to the pole of a street lamp. Looking closely, everything that is free of space is now been occupied by that pink flyer. Despite my attempt to avoid it assuming that it's an ad for an explicit s*x toy, my interest was piqued by the bold letters printed on it that says: "Love gone wrong? Let's rewind time and fix this love." Does your love feel like a never-ending nightmare? I definitely got you. Have a once in a lifetime opportunity to go back in the past and fix that one thing you regret the most.  You will not only feel younger and fresher you can also relieve your once wonderful life! Visit us here at #58 Chrone Street, 2nd floor of that shady white building.   Judging from the half-assed tag line that doesn't rhyme and the nonsense statements, this ad is probably made by a serial killer waiting for someone dumb enough to fall for this shenanigan. It's a good thing I am not easily fooled with baseless words and I am totally fine with my love life right now, it's over, I've moved on. - "Oh my, dearie me! Welcome!" A woman opened the door before I could even knock at the second-floor office with a flashy flyer in hand. She was wearing pink boots, pink sparkling dress, overly huge pink hat and wait for it. . . pink lipstick. "Uhh, yeah. I saw this flyer at the park and was wondering--" While I was speaking, she was already dragging me inside her somewhat empty office with nothing but cardboard boxes and pieces of furniture covered in white cloths. Spider webs were evident at each corner of the 'office' and the floor even has spilled coffee that hasn't been cleaned for a long time. She doesn't seem to mind that I am completely bothered by the fact that she's dragging me, forced me to sit on a rusty metal chair before she walked around the desk and sat on her chair, looking at me with big googly eyes. Alrighty, this looks like the perfect place to get murdered good thing I wore my best underwear today. "So, my dear-" She started with a much calmer voice, rested her elbows on top of the desk and clasped both her hands together. "What seems to be the problem?" She looked excited to hear from me but I guess all she's gonna hear from me is an ear-piercing scream if she doesn't let me go at this instance. "Ow don't be so tense, Allina. I know that what you are going through is really tough." She smiled thinly. Great, a stalker and a killer. "I'm sorry but I need to go." I shakily said and stood up but before I could move she said "You and Dion started out as high school sweethearts, a relationship that everyone adored and envied. You thought that he's the one you're going to marry but he turned out to be a complete douche after a few unfortunate situations." I looked back at her with utter horror plastered on my face "Okay, so you're a high-class stalker and a killer. Great, just great."  She just laughed and added, "Oh Allina, you never change." I looked at her strangely, this woman feels like she's known me for years. "Who are you exactly?" I sat back down, something about her is weird, not because of her vibrant pink outfit but more like an out of this dimension kind of weird. "Oh dear, where are my manners." She chuckled, "I am Aeris Dior" she stood up and curtsied before me then sat back down, smiled thinly again. "Aeris Dior? Is that your stage name? So that the police will have a hard time tracing you if ever you decided to murder a broken-hearted 22-year-old weeping woman?" She just laughed, again. Everything I say seems to be amusing for her. "Silly you, I assure you my only goal here is to help those whose love turned a wrong turn. I'm sure you desperately want to go back in time to fix a few decisions of yours, then you've come to the right place." Although something like traveling to the past is utterly and painfully impossible no matter how much I wanted it, I still listened attentively to her cheery voice since I have nothing else to do. I watched her pull out a whiteboard from under the table and swiftly attached it to the wall.  Pulling out a marker from her pocket, breathing in the addictive smell of it before drawing a stick figure on the board of what seemed to look like me. "Now then, listen carefully Allison, you're destiny depends if you remember these rules." I didn't speak, just nodded reluctantly. She smiled again and pointed at the drawing of myself. "This is you, a 22-year-old woman who works in a rundown company with barely any coffee to make, poor, unruly hair and is a failure in love."  I twitched, she doesn't need to state the painfully obvious facts to me.  "Oh, you should add that my life is so uninteresting that I somehow desperately ended up in this place that's obviously a scam." Crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back, now I've lost my scarce will to listen to her nonsense babbling. Yes, her talking about my failures is nonsense to me. She just laughed once again and looked at me, "This is not a scam, dear." Her eyes suddenly glowed bright blue with a hint of purple that made me sat up in disbelief. "Woah there, what contacts do you use?" Curiosity flooded my mind, staring carefully at her eyes that is now just plain black. "Is that kind of like a mood ring? It changes colors if you're sad or something." She kind of got irritated by my numerous questions or about me still not believing her. Well, of course, that eye color changing thing can be achieved by anyone, especially well-skilled con artists. "Dear me, I guess you won't listen if you won't believe me." She sighed, contrary to her cheery attitude and singsong voice. "Which timeline do you want to visit?" She asked, joking maybe, so I told another half-assed answer. "The time where queen Marie Antoinette of France got beheaded." I hid a chuckle behind my words but she paid no attention as she closed her eyes. With a marker in hand, she created a weird pattern in the air and suddenly, the two of us were falling. My hair, as unruly as it was just became more wild from the gushing wind my body is feeling from falling fast. I don't know where we are since I got my eyes closed from the rapid wind but I'm guessing we are falling from the sky and down towards our impending doom. Despite my blood-hurdling scream and constant squirming in mid-air, Aeris--or if that's her real name--is calling me. "Open your eyes dear." She said rather amused by the sight of me screaming and losing my mind. Of course, anyone would lose their minds, one second I was sitting on a rusty chair just waiting to get robbed and murdered, now I'm falling from the sky and towards my painful concrete death. "Calm down, Allina. Just look and see." She's somehow tapping my back to stop my whole body from squirming around. I slowly, and carefully opened my eyes to see that what I'm supposed to land on was France, ancient France. The buildings, the people and the vibe are just as the history books told us.  We were still in mid-air, still falling but I looked beside me to see Aeris not falling but floating gracefully with that irritating thin smile of hers. I glared daggers at her since she has the option to make me float like her but chose to make me suffer instead. She noticed my demise and laughed in amusement. "What? You told me I was a scam, I had to make sure you believe me 100%"  I ignored her since we're almost to the ground, I'm guessing since I told her that I want to visit the time of the queen's death then we're in France, October 16, 1793. Before I hit the ground, she snapped her fingers and I floated before landing to lessen the impact. My eyes couldn't take the scenery, it was too real for me to believe. People were already gathering to the place of the execution, buzzing and shifting through the crowds, excited to see the treacherous queen who made them suffer, dead. I was looking around, jaw dropped wide open. Aeris was sniffing the air around us while twirling her dress around. "Ah, the smell of tuberculosis, yellow fever, and the plaque is so nostalgic."  I chuckled, although it's not morally right to laugh at the diseases that killed millions of people, it's just that I've been jumpy to finally see history first hand. I'm also happy that the time-traveling thing is real even as far fetched as it sounds. It means I can also go back to the time where I met Dion and not meet him, then I will live a happy life from then on. "So as I was saying." Aeris snapped her fingers in front of me that interrupted my trance of disbelief and uncontrollable joy. "Basically, you are a failure in all aspects of your life, so you came to see me-- the great time manipulating lady-- to change a few choices you made. Like for example, not cleaning the living room that made Dion mad at you, you can go back and change our decision, clean to avoid an argument." She remarked in a sing-song voice while we parade along the angry people to see the execution of queen Antoinette. I'm all ears to her explanation since I'm very interested in her offer, while also admiring the old architecture of the establishments around the city as we walk. "I'll gladly take you back to your desired timeline and relieve your life choices." She said, she leads me toward a balcony, not totally minding the confused stares of the people who own the building since we just trespassed to get the most perfect view of the execution. We settled at the balcony and watched the pitiful Marie Antoinette in fancy clothes but now ragged and tarnished from the constant mistreatment in her prison cell. The people who are watching were cheering, shouting their anger and the years of mistreatment to the queen's face yet the queen remained unbothered, kept her head raised and proud but that head of hers that she kept high was pushed and lowered down, perfectly placed at the hole of the guillotine. She looked at the crowd with unfaltering eyes, making the people more enraged that she doesn't have even an ounce of guilt for making them miserable. Their intense uproar is so compelling it was nearly contagious, I myself almost took out my shoe and throw it at her to erase that smug face of hers.  Slowly, the angled blade that runs along the groove was raised with a rope, then at that moment, I felt the people's feelings flood the whole area and it became more potent when the head of queen Marie Antoinette was rolling on the ground. They cheered, they cried. The freedom they wanted all along is here. I felt envy, I want to be like them, I want to make a decision that will fill myself with those kinds of emotions. "I'm in." I declare, Aeris smirking at my proclamation and immediately pulling me back to the present times. The rusty chair, the abandoned office, and the whiteboard that has a drawing of myself.