Unexpected Desires

CHAPTER 17: Entangled Truths

Chapter 17: Entangled Truths

Riley's Point of View

As I stepped into the dimly lit bar, Red's piercing eyes immediately locked onto me. Without hesitation, he fired off his question like a bullet. "Oh, bakit ganiyan ang mukha mo?"

Maaga pa at sarado pa ang bar pero andito ako ngayon para maglinis at mag-asikaso. May empleyado naman ako na nakatoka talaga sa paglilinis at pag-aayos ng bar sa umaga habang hindi pa ito bukas, sadiyang nagprisinta lang talaga ako ngayon na ako na lang muna ang gagawa dahil gusto ko ma-divert ang atensiyon ko sa ibang bagay. While my friends were here, present, lounging around and offering me their comforting presence, which I greatly needed to distract myself from the relentless thoughts of Mayari.

"Nothing," I replied, donning an apron and diving into the monotonous routine of my morning duties.

"'Nothing,' they say, but it seems like you wear the burden of the world on your shoulders with your expression," Dos, Red's cousin, chimed in, his observation hanging heavily in the air.

I paused in my cleaning, a deep sigh escaping my lips. Damn it, Mayari's presence haunted my every thought.

"I feel guilty," I finally confessed, my voice scarcely rising above a whisper.

"Why? Is it because of your relationship with Mayari?" Red's probing question sliced through the air as he took a measured sip of his drink.

For a moment, I hesitated, then nodded in reluctant agreement. "Yes, it's because of her."

Dos chimed in, his eyes filled with curiosity. "Then, why don't you make it official? Ask her out on a proper date."

They knew, of course, about Mayari and me. They also knew that what bound us was far more profound than mere lust. My feelings for Mayari ran deep, yet an unspoken force prevented me from taking the leap, from evolving our relationship to the next level.

I inhaled deeply, my mind caught in the quagmire of longing. Kung sana ganoon lang kadali ang lahat. Kung sana iyon lang ang problema kaso hindi eh. Life had other plans. And if you asked me, I'd give anything to ask Mayari out on a proper date.

Hell! The depth of my adoration for Mayari knew no bounds. I would gladly spend every waking moment with her, sharing my entire life if she'd have me. My happiness only found meaning when she was present. Ganoon ako kasaya kapag kapiling ko si Mayari. No words can explain how I would love to spend every second, every minute, and every hour of my life with her.

My liking for her extended far beyond the physical realm; it transcended mere lust. Hindi ko ito sinasabi dahil I got her virginity or dahil sa lust. But I'm telling this because this is what I truly and genuinely feel about her.

But the truth was far from simple, for I harbored a secret that I knew would ignite Mayari's wrath upon discovery.

"Dos is right. Alam naman namin atsaka halata naman na gustong-gusto mo si Mayari. Bakit hindi niyo pa i-level up ang relationship niyo?" Red suggested nonchalantly.

"It's not that simple. I mean, I'm afraid," I admitted as I took a seat before them, swiping a shot glass from Red. Whiskey flowed as I drained it, the bitterness mirroring the turmoil within me. Ang aga-aga pa pero heto ako't umiinom. Damn!

"Afraid of what?" Dos inquired, furrowing his brows. I met their gazes with a heavy heart.

"Mayari confided in me about her past. She revealed that she hailed from Cebu and had fled her home, seeking refuge here in Manila, among friends," I began, prompting exchanged glances between Dos and Red.

"Why did she run away?" Red probed further, and I helped myself to another shot of whiskey, grimacing at the burn that trailed down my throat.

"Her parents arranged her marriage to a stranger, a man she scarcely knew, and that man is..." I faltered, a lump forming in my throat, stifling the words I dared not utter.

"Don't tell me?" Dos leaned in, his eyes filled with suspicion, and I reluctantly nodded, confirming his suspicions.

"Yes, it's me. I'm the man she's engaged to," I confessed, lowering my head onto the counter. Curses escaped from both Dos and Riley in unison.

You read it correctly. I was the man destined to marry Mayari, the one entrusted by her parents to safeguard their daughter.

Balewala lang naman sa akin ang lahat noong una eh. It wasn't part of my plan, nor was the relationship I'd formed with Mayari. My intentions were simple: to be near her and abide by her parents' orders to watch over her. Plano ko lang mapalapit sa kaniya upang bantayan siya at makilala rin siya. Of course, gusto ko rin makilala ang soon-to-be wife ko. Little did I anticipate that events would unfold as they had.

Mayari stood apart from the rest. Her determination to fight for her freedom and rights, even in opposition to her own parents, was a virtue I deeply admired. Her strength of character commanded my respect.

I'd been captivated by her from the moment I laid eyes on her photo, but damn it, her physical beauty transcended the image on paper when I met her in person. She had left me stunned, my heart racing at her proximity.

Her eyes were exquisite, framed by long, delicate lashes. Her nose possessed a perfect, sculpted shape, and her lips, oh, those lips were plump, soft, and irresistibly kissable. Her skin was flawless, her body sculpted with the most alluring of curves. Her beauty was bewitching.

Yet what drew me in even more was her indomitable spirit. She couldn't be swayed easily, and it was this resilience that had captured my heart. All I wanted initially was to become acquainted with her and carry out her parents' request to watch over her.

But damn it all! I hadn't foreseen the depths of my emotions. Hindi ko akalaing mahuhulog ang loob ko sa kaniya.

"Does she know?" Red queried. I released a heavy sigh, wrestling with the words.

"You're deceiving her, Riley. I'm certain Mayari will be devastated when she discovers the truth," Dos expressed his concern, his voice heavy with worry.

"I know, and God knows I never intended to hurt Mayari. That's the last thing I want," I lamented, my frustration palpable in my tone.

"However, you can't conceal this forever. Sooner or later, the truth will surface, and it will wound her even more if you deepen your relationship while harboring a secret that could make her despise you," Red pointed out sagely. My response remained unspoken.

Red was right. Ayokong masaktan si Mayari but at the same time ayoko rin sabihin sa kaniya na ako ang mapapangasawa niya dahil natatakot akong baka umiwas siya sa akin. Natatakot akong masaktan siya pero hindi ko rin talaga alam kung papaano ko sasabihin sa kaniya ang lahat.

I know I'm being an asshole here pero hindi ko rin talaga kaya kung mawawala sa akin si Mayari ngayon. Lalo na sa mga sinabi niya sa akin kagabi na handa siyang gawin ang lahat maipaglaban lang ang kalayaan at karapatan niya. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang ganito, sa kaniya ko lang naramdaman ang kakaibang pakiramdam na ito, and damn! I don't want to lose her.

What if umalis na naman siya kapag nalaman niyang ako ang mapapangasawa niya? What if kamuhian niya ako? Hindi ko ata kaya 'yon.

But could I also live with the guilt of concealing the truth, knowing that it would cause her pain when it inevitably emerged? Damn it! I was at a loss.

My heart had become a treacherous battlefield. Goddamn it. Why did I have to fall for her? Now, I was trapped between the choice of hiding the truth to keep her with me and revealing it to spare her pain.

Oh, God, please help me. I was utterly clueless about what to do next.

As I sat there, torn between revealing the truth and keeping Mayari close, little did I know that fate had other plans in store for us, plans that would soon unravel the tangled web of secrets surrounding our lives.

And as I stared at my friends, wrestling with my emotions and the looming truth, I couldn't help but wonder: Would my feelings for Mayari conquer my fear of losing her?