Alpha's Spoiled Princess - Burgov Series VI

1. Cilia

Is there something more precious than a new life in your arms? There can't be. Nothing pulls you in as much as the depth of big gray eyes that most of the day stay closed, just to grace you with that one brief look and, if you're extremely lucky that day, maybe even a smile with a bubbly sound of contentment. There can't be anything better than that.

Well, there could be, if the dark-haired princess in my arms was actually mine. But I don't really care, little Alex is too perfect to care from whose womb she emerged.

"You look good with baby, Cilia." - Evelyn, my cousin Nick's, mate said with a fond yet tired smile, watching me from her spot on the sofa.

"It's hard to look bad when you have that cutie in your arms. Isn't it true, Alex? Aren't you the prettiest girl ever?" - I cooed to the tiny girl, swaying her back and forth, which earned me the sweetest noise from the baby. The sound that I swear made my ovaries weep for someone's, literally anyone's seed.

"She is rather cute, isn't she?" - Evelyn smiled with that fresh, proud mama's grin on her face. - "Although I would love it if she looked a bit more like me, I guess. But Nicky cashed the whole pool, she looks like him, and she loves him more. Little traitor." - she added with an not entirely serious glare.

Eve is a great addition to the family and I don't feel as if I met her only ten days ago. With the right person, everything tends to be easy. And my new cousin-in-law is just that person. She has the incredibly sharp wit I always approve of. She does a fine job at keeping Nicolay on his toes, even though everyone knows her feigned indifference is just an act. You can't quite miss the spark she has in her eyes whenever her mate enters the room. And besides, the living, wiggling baby in my arms is an ultimate confirmation she isn't as unaffected as she poses for.

Not to mention, Nicky absolutely adores her. It's sometimes sickening really to watch the boy you grew up alongside with to be this smitten. I don't know when that happened, but from a lanky boy, who used to drool over women from afar like a creep, my first cousin turned into an absolute family man.

That does make one hopeful that not all men are a waste, but they simply need more time to get civil. The question is, do we have that much time?

"You can't fight with the combined genes of Burgovs and VanWoerts, I'm afraid." - I smiled at Eve, but her unamused face forced me to find something to grab onto. - "But she does have your…" - I looked down at the little Alexandra, desperately trying to find even the slightest resemblance to her mother, but it really looked like Eve was more of a surrogate than an active donor. - "Ears! She has your ears."

"Ears, huh? You really couldn't do any better? My sister at least claimed that she smiles just like me." - Evelyn deadpanned, but her smirk indicated she was egging on me.

Damn you, Maggie!

Eve's older sister is, unfortunately, one of those people who always knows what to say to save the day.

"Well, at least now you have two things Alex got from her Mama." - I said sheepishly.

"Hopefully three." - she said off-handedly - "Ellie confessed she's been drinking every toast since Alex's birth so she got her attitude after me." - Eve stated with a sly smile.

"Then, with the amount of drinks my cousin consumes, I guess it's guaranteed."

"I guess, but it may come to an end soon." - she said, rolling her lips, and like a bloodhound chasing its prey, I got the whiff of some delicious gossip.

"Don't you dare stop now." - I told her, looking down at Alex, whose eyes started getting heavy. She's so precious.

"Well, Maddox told Nicky that they've been trying." - she said with her eyes positively gleaming.

"I lived with them, so I dare to say that they are really trying hard." - I said with a knowing look that made Eve almost squeal. I guess there aren't many excitements in a young mom's life.

"Oh do tell." - she grinned.

"There isn't much to tell. Whenever the Pack House started shaking I went for a walk." - I shrugged.

"Oh." - Even frowned, disappointed.

"But I walked a lot staying with them." - I wagged my brows. I looked down at Alex, who had already dozed off. - "I guess you will have a new cousin soon. Isn't it great?" - I whispered to the sleeping baby, kissing her forehead and trying really hard to sound sincere.

The last few months were probably the strangest and still the best time of my life. I left my home, the Dark Woods Pack, under the pretext of looking for my mate. That was the only way I could convince my father to let me go alone on a crazy journey around the world, jumping from pack to pack looking for my Mr Right.

Not that I was truly alone. Daddy's men who followed me ever since I left home did a pretty shitty job at hiding themselves. But it was still more than I hoped for. I was surprised he agreed at all. I think my mother had something to do with it. But nevertheless, I was home last over… Nine months ago.

Goddess, has it been that long already?

It's hard to keep the dates straight when you aren't homesick and apparently missed by anyone.

The truth is, my big journey was just an excuse. I wasn't planning on finding my mate. In that aspect, I'm more old-fashioned and I believe it's a guy's role to look for a woman and then sweep her off her feet. But I desperately needed out.

Since our twenty-second birthday, two years ago, when my twin-brother, Igor, took the Alpha title over from our Dad, I felt like walls started closing around me in Dark Woods. Each day I felt more and more like I was being strangled by an invisible force. Rows and rows of paintings of all the previous Orlov leaders seemed to gain a judgy edge to the way they were looking down on me from the walls. And worst of all, I was completely alone.

Not that it was anything new. I was alone most of my life, but then it felt different. Igor, with whom I barely ever got along, suddenly became Mr Big-Shot, and I was still a trinket to the family tree. The pretty addition to her powerful and feared younger brother.

But things felt even worse when my brother led our army to destroy (his words, not mine) the biggest pack in the Apennine Peninsula, and instead of coming back with the head of a man who disrespected him, he came back with the Spanish beauty on his arm.

Don't get me wrong, I love Leticia as if she was my true sister. Maybe even more than Igor himself. But it was hard watching him with everything. The title, love, respect from our people. While I was still this Orlov girl, everyone admired and wanted to get to know only to have their own gain from it.

Igor was always far better at maneuvering in the snake pit, which we call a home. He could smile and pretend, not even in the slightest bothered, that of over twenty-five thousand werewolves we could trust maybe four. But for me, the constant game of pretending was not a life, and it eats your soul up piece by piece when your entire life is just one big act.

So I felt. Hoping I would catch some wind in my wings, finally breathe freely, and maybe, eventually, but with no great expectations, find my mate.

But the first four months were just the more of the same I knew my entire life. I was still that Orlov girl, the most prized she-wolf to snatch, but this time making guest appearances in different packs.

Everywhere I went I was greeted with joy and respect, having not so subtly a circle of suitors shoved under my nose. And sure having dozens of men to pick from wasn't that bad, but no one saw me as me, Cilia. I was Ms Orlov, the woman who was the key to an alliance with the biggest and most notorious pack in the world.

To be honest, I wanted to just disappear. To lose my father's men somewhere in the crowd and never look back.

But then I stumbled on the tribe of werewolves in Western Australia, where I finally was a person, not the last name and connections I was carrying, but me. They took me in with no questions asked and gave me Markie, my best friend in the whole world.

Markie and I connected instantly, we simply got each other. She called me out on my bullshit the first night we met, telling me that the facade I was so meticulously keeping wasn't working on her, and she could see right through me. She was probably the only person in the whole world with whom I was truly myself.

I started laughing, and not just the studied, polite smile I have for the public eyes, but the true laughter that sounded so foreign on my lips. She taught me how to feel joy again and be happy about all the small things that come our way. Markella became my moral compass and the biggest confidante, and when I thought things couldn't get better than that, she told me she would stand by my side throughout the rest of my journey. And she did, keeping me standing whenever I felt down, hating people I hated and singing at the top of our lungs just to let off the pent-up frustration.

But like everything in life, that too came to an end when my brother decided to cut me off. I was beyond frustrated. He, the one who should be listening to my orders, had the audacity to cut the funds that should have been mine to cut from day one. I was beyond livid, and I couldn't give him the satisfaction of coming back home with my tail between my legs, so instead of returning to Dark Woods, Markie and I went to America, where my cousins live.

My aunt and uncles, who once were members of the Dark Woods pack, and through their mother, my great-aunt Uliana, were Orlovs settled in the US after their mother's tragic death, and now their kids, my cousins, lead a few prosperous packs scattered around North America. And it wasn't such a bad turn of events, because the shenanigans with Burgovs and VanWoerts were the best of my childhood memories. They never treated me like a f*****g princess, even though they joked about it more times than I care to count. But to them I was always me.

But as it happens in life, one good thing brings one bad too, and in the first pack Markie and I visited she recognized her mate in my cousin, Orson, and I once again felt that dreadful loneliness.

Sure, I was with family, but wherever I turned, people I grew up with were moving on with lives, starting families, gaining their titles, meeting their mates, making names for themselves. But I stayed exactly where I was, being a girl who has it all, but can't say that anything is truly her own.

So I put on a brave face when I stayed in Harvest Moon, where my cousin Dean is freshly appointed Alpha with big dreams to come true, and my other cousin, as his Beta female, popping a new generation of the cutest Beta pups ever.

I laughed and partied in Night Walkers, where Ellie recently became Luna with a handsome Alpha by her side, putting her pack on the map with her outstanding idea of starting a helpline for all those less fortunate. She, the biggest rogue of us all, was making a difference to hundreds, yet I was standing in the exact same place.

And finally, I arrived in Stealth Death, where Nicky became a new Alpha through mating with one of the Miller girls. A one haste decision that everyone thought was crazy, brought him to his true mate's doorstep and not only was his pack thriving, but little Alex in my arms was the palpable proof of his good fortune.

But I still had nothing. Aside from the few suitcases in my cousins' guestrooms, I couldn't tell I had anything on my own. My home didn't feel like it anymore, although I'm not sure if it ever did. My only true friend was across the world, currently on her vacation with my cousin, most likely working hard on the family on their own. And despite feeling welcome in my cousins' homes, I knew I was kind of a burden, that odd relative they all felt sorry for. That poor rich girl with no true home, partner and position of her own.

I blinked away the tears, being kind of an expert in the field, and I put on a brave, blinding smile before I turned back to Evelyn. And just like I thought, she was none the wiser for the whirlwind of emotions ripping me from the inside.

"How about I take the stroller and take her to the garden so you can go wild with the shower or a good, lazy nap?" - I offered, deciding that if I'm a burden, I can at least be a useful burden.

Evelyn's eyes lit up and she smiled.

"I love you!" - she said. - "Seriously, stay as long as you want. You're the best thing Nicky has to offer anyway."

I smiled, hearing the same offer once again. Stay with us, renounce your brother and join my pack. They all offered the same thing. And I'm not ungrateful to doubt their good intentions, but I know that behind each invitation is just as much love as it is pity. Not to mention, neither of those places was mine anyway.

"Well, don't say that, he does make exceptionally gorgeous children." - I said, trying to defuse the acid gathering in my throat into a joke.

"He does, doesn't he?" - Eve answered, losing focus on her sight for a while in a dreamy expression. - "Okay, I guess a shower sounds amazing." - she said, standing up from the sofa. - "Do you know where everything is?"

"Of course." - I nodded.

"And if she cries…"

"I'll give her a bottle." - I finished for her.

"And if she needs changing, the diaper bag is…"

"One by the stroller , second in Nicky's office, third at the Omega's station and…" - I started listing with a smile forming on my face, and Eve waved me off.

"Okay, okay, you got it. Thank you, Cilia, you're a real life-saver."

I smiled and nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat, and I went with Alex still in my arms to the hall, where everything I could possibly need for a winter walk waited for us. Dressing up this little dark-haired princess was like playing with a doll, she hadn't even stirred while at it.

"If I'm such a life-saver, why can't I save myself? What do you think, Alex?" - I said out loud to the sleeping bundle of joy, and as expected, no answer came. It never did, no matter who the audience was.

Sighing, I pushed the stroller outside, welcoming the crisp January air on my face. I always loved winter. Probably because it lasted six months back at home and it's easy to love what you know so well. Not to mention, that when things got heavy, chilly air and snow beneath my paws were my only friends. But spiteful people can take away even the tiniest joys, and I don't know how many times I was called an Ice Princess by the spiteful sycophants whom I didn't allow to get closer to my brother through me.

"Don't ever let haters bring you down, Alex." - I told the sleeping baby. - "Always trust in your worth. And maybe a gut feeling. If something feels too good to be true, it's probably because it is. Trust me, no one had more fake friendships than your aunt." - I added, with a hollow chuckle.

"But shopping can make you feel better." - I continued the most depressing heart-to-heart advice. - "Even if not for very long, it's still better to cry in Yves Saint Laurent's dress than in sweats. Trust me, I checked. And never underestimate the power of good waterproof mascara." - I glanced down into the stroller and that invisible hand grabbed my chest squeezing the air out of me. - "Although you probably won't need it. It's funny, but everyone who knows s**t always wanted to get into the Dark Woods inner circle, but those really smart people stayed far, far away from it." - I felt my eyes stinging so I swallowed that all-too-familiar feeling down.

"You know what, Alex, forget everything I just told you, and instead never pretend to be something that you're not. Find your happy place and fight for it. Love with all your heart. Never say you're too busy for those dear to you. Laugh loud, hard and as often as you can. And never look back, every craziness, mistake or trouble, that's exactly what was meant to happen to make you the best version of yourself." - I smiled when she sighed in her sleep as if she was agreeing with me. - "And maybe call your aunt Cilia from time to time to see if her hundred cats hadn't eaten her yet." - I snorted at my own joke and resumed our walk around the snow-covered garden.

It was so peaceful, so quiet that I could hear all my insecurities, as if they took a human form and sat right beside me.

"You probably won't have those kinds of problems when you grow up." - I smiled sadly at the baby. - "Good. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

"You wouldn't wish what?" - Nicky's voice startled me shitlessly, and I almost yelled, waking Alex up.

"You scared me." - I said accusingly, but my cousin just smirked and sat down on the bench beside me.

"What kind of nonsense were you telling my daughter?" - he asked, pointing his chin to the stroller.

"A few wisdoms."

"Oh yeah, like what?" - he asked, arching his brow with amusement.

"Like if she gets a brother to strangle him in the crib before it's too late." - Nicky snorted - "To listen more to Mommy than Daddy." - Nicky shook his head with a grin, but the fact he didn't disagree hadn't gone unnoticed. - "And that no man no cry rule is actually true."

"That I agree with." - he said, turning to look at his daughter - "No dating before your forty, young lady!" - he said sternly, but the look in his eyes was heart-warming. I was more than sure that my cousin would split his chest open and bleed to death before he let this little girl be unhappy for even a day. She's the lucky one.

"Eve told me you gave her a free afternoon." - Nicky said, looking back at me.

"I was checking if I could steal her away." - I joked, tilting my chin towards Alex. Nicky chuckled, shaking his head.

"Thank you, Cilia, I see how much you're doing for us."

"It's my pleasure." - I smiled. - "Besides, what are the cool Aunts for?"

"Oh yeah, I never thought you would, but you are definitely a great aunt material."

But that's all I'm made for.

I smiled, trying to hide how my own thoughts were making me blue. There was no point in making a scene. It would be more of the same. Cilia is all about having a spotlight on herself. She's a drama queen. Oh well, another tantrum from the Orlov girl.

Yes, there was no point in inviting others to my dark thoughts. It's better when they have me for a free-spirited, somewhat self-centered ladaco.

"Look, I wanted to talk with you." - Nicky started and the tone of his voice made me think I wouldn't like the rest of this conversation.

"Oh?"

"I talked with my father-in-law today, and he suggested we should take Alex to Eve's grandparents' for a couple of days."

"Oh, that's a great idea." - I said, a bit taken aback, because that was not as bad as I thought.

"Yeah, I think so too." - he nodded - "And look, if you want to come with us, you're totally invited."

Hmm, the weekend with people I don't know. Sounds like a great plan to feel even more like a fifth wheel.

"No, that's alright. I'll go stay with Ellie for a little while." - I said, feeling like it would be a much better idea for everyone.

"I thought you would say that." - he chuckled - "But Ellie and Maddox left today to go skiing at Stonewall and they won't be back for at least a week. And I thought…"

Please don't say it. I'm begging you, Nicky, don't say what I think it is you want to say.

"that you could stay at Sean for those three days."

And he said it. Damn it.

"I know you guys don't get along very well, but it's a big pack, and you can avoid one another perfectly fine."

I forced a smile on my face, but we both knew how false it was.

"That's okay, Nicky. You don't have to babysit me. I will hit the spa or something, I'll be fine." - I assured him, but the brotherly habits were hard to get rid of, and unlike Igor, Nikolay was a pretty good brother to his sister.

"No, that won't happen." - he shook his head - "I promised Igor I would look out for you." - I rolled my eyes, because we both knew that was a load of crap. Iggy simply didn't care what I was doing. - "Besides, leaving an unmated woman alone doesn't sit well with me. What if someone had done it to my daughter?"

Hell, that was a hard argument to fight with.

But I had to, there was no way I was going to His pack. I would much rather sleep under the bridge, join the Harlem Globetrotters or sell my kidney. Who am I kidding? I would sell both of them if that could only keep me from facing Him again.

"Then I'll stay here." - I said with a smile.

"Nonsense. I have already talked to Sean, he's really looking forward to having you."

Yes, I'm sure he does, just as much one is looking forward to extracting his wisdom teeth.

"No, Nicky, that's not necessary. You know that Sean and I don't really get along, and even pretending that we do would be too exhausting for everyone." - to say it mildly.

"Don't be ridiculous, we're family." - he waved me off, and I felt like I was losing this argument.

"Nicky…"

"Cilia, it'll be fine. Knowing him, he won't even go out of his office, but I would feel much better knowing you're among family. I won't be here, Ellie isn't home and Sean is the second closest. Or is there a reason why you can't go to the Lunar Tide?" - he asked in his usual annoying manner he uses every time he knows that he cornered his opponent.

I grit my teeth with annoyance. There's no way I'm telling him about the reason why I avoid Him like the devil incarnate.

"No, there isn't." - I said sharply.

But then the light at the end of the tunnel appeared. What if I never showed up there? What are the chances He would call anyone to ask about my whereabouts? Slim to none. He would probably breathe in relief, like after a close-death experience.

"No, you're right. I'll go. Besides, I was looking forward to taking your Range for a spin." - I added with a smile.

"Yeah, not gonna happen." - he chuckled, shaking his head as I'd said the most amusing joke, and my heart sunk. - "I'm driving you there. We leave tomorrow after breakfast."

Blyad!