Alpha's Spoiled Princess - Burgov Series VI

17. Cilia

"Well, that was painful to watch." - Maddox, Ellie's mate, muttered when all the contestants were being escorted out of the arena, yet my eyes stayed glued to Sean's back and his slung head.

My heart was still hammering in my chest and I didn't understand why. I chose this task for this exact purpose, it was supposed to show him he doesn't own me and I wouldn't do his bidding at the snap of the finger just because he graciously showed up and staked his claim. He was supposed to see that I was the Captain of this ship.

Then why do I feel so awful now?

I saw he was doing great. He found a way to decipher which stone was correct, but his confidence got him lost. And somehow I got lost right alongside him with my own goddamn feelings.

"So that's it?" - Dean asked loud enough for everyone to hear. - "Fifteen minutes and we're done here?"

"Basically yes." - Igor answered, and even without looking his way I could hear tension in his tone. I bet that had I glanced his way his eyes that matched my own would be focused on me. - "There will be some amusement for the mob, but we don't have to be there."

"How about a family lunch, then?" - my mother offered in a chirping tone that I knew was there mostly to hide her own panic and defuse the awkward moment. After all, the guy who had just left without a point was brother to two of our guests. - "It's a rare occasion when we have so many of our nieces and nephews here."

"Free food from golden platters, could me in, auntie." - Nicky agreed, and a few others followed suit, but I kept on staring at the closing gate behind which Sean had just disappeared.

"Cilia. Cilia!" - I turned around to face my mother and her dark, piercing eyes. - "Are you coming?"

"Yes, mother." - I nodded robotically, just like I did a thousand times before, and I forced my eyes away from the arena and followed the rest of the family.

We had a fun procession. Ten or so Alpha wolves were surrounded by dozens of guards on the crowded streets of my home pack. It made me wonder whether the guards were here for our safety or to save everyone else from us. But either way, I enjoyed the short walk through the village, because then at least no one talked to me, keeping the appearance of an untouchable Orlov family. That was probably my saving grace, because I still hadn't a clue what to say.

Ellie and Nicky will ask why I haven't contacted either of them after I ran away from Sean all those months ago. Dean will probably say something goofy, but then profess his undying loyalty to his brother, and I really don't have head space for all that right now. My brain is in a whirlwind as it is, without the joint power of the Burgov-VanWoert clan.

But at least he isn't here, so I can manage. Probably.

We all went to Alpha's dining room, and I couldn't even hear my own thoughts through all the cheerful chattering that could be heard at the table when we sat down. I tried focusing on my plate, cutlery, basically anything that wouldn't be eye contact with my extended family and a sure discussion about the tournament.

"I think I agree with your admiration." - Maddox, who was seated on my left, said, leaning closer. - "That's a very nice fork." - he added to my confused expression, with a lopsided smile.

I smiled at him, happy he was the one I was cursed with for this family lunch. From all of them, Maddox was the one least likely to nag me about Sean.

"Yes, it's my favorite silverware, I have many fond memories with it in them." - I joined his inside joke, and Maddox smiled.

"I can imagine. It looks perfect for stabbing someone in the eye." - I giggled at that, surprised that I was even able to laugh. Maddox, who during my time in his Pack proved to be the sweetest guy with an older brother's syndrome, smiled warmly, leaning even closer - "How do you feel?" - he asked more seriously, but there was kindness and real care in his eyes. Ellie landed herself a pretty great guy.

"I've been better." - I answered truthfully, he was probably the only one at the table who wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

"Yes, you do have that look in your eyes as if you were about to flee the continent." - he commented in a whisper.

"I wasn't aware we knew each other well enough for you to see it." - I answered also in a whisper.

"Ellie had the same guarded expression for the first two weeks after I brought her to Night Walkers. That and maybe something in her eyes that said I will slit your throat with a butter knife."

At that, I burst into laughter, focusing a few questioning stares on us, but I waved them off, unable and unwilling to explain.

"I'm really glad you came with the rest." - I said, and he responded with a small bow.

"Someone needs to cheer for you, and not Maslow. And from where I sat I enjoyed today's competition very much." - he grinned - "But damn, I wouldn't have guessed it, you went hard on those poor shmucks." - he said with a light chuckle.

"Yes, that task probably wasn't to many Alpha wolves' liking." - I agreed.

"No, it was not." - he shook his head with amusement. - "But anyway, Ellie told me she spent many holidays growing up here. Anything I should see while I'm here?" - he asked, changing the subject and I was glad he did. Like I thought, Maddox wasn't about to tell me what to do, merely to keep my head away from my problems, and I loved him for it. Like a brother, of course, the Goddess only knows what my crazy Cousin would think of had I made a move on her man.

"Well, thanks to pissing on my Mom every step of the way, Ellie, Dave and Mickey saw a lot of the inside of their rooms. The mystery behind auntie Octavia agreeing to send them here so eagerly was solved quite quickly."

He snickered, sending a side glance at his mate, who looked deep in conversation with Lettie.

"I always knew my mother-in-law was a smart woman."

"That she is." - I agreed - "But while you're here, you should definitely check out the northern lands by dawn. There is a shallow river with the clearest water you'll ever see and each day a herd of caribous comes there. I used to sneak out to watch them every morning."

"That sounds cool." - he said approvingly - "But I'm surprised by that. I thought you would offer me a tour of the crown jewels exhibition."

"If that's what you're interested in, you should talk to Igor. Only he and Lettie have full access to the vault. But there is a famous Orlov Diamond, a four-hundred carat monstrosity that once belonged to Catherine the Great."

"Huh, aren't you the Orlov Diamond?" - he asked back with a teasing smirk that once again made me giggle.

"Oh, you are good, Maddox, very, very good." - I praised him.

"Hey! What are you two talking about?" - Ellie suddenly got interested in our private conversation.

"Nothing much, babe." - Maddox answered immediately. - "Cilia was just telling me how much time you spend in your bedroom while visiting. It's good to know that you misbehaved long before meeting me." - Maddox lied so naturally as if doing that, or maybe poking fun at his mate, was his second nature.

"Oh man, if anything you got her on straight." - Dean chimed in, chuckling to himself.

"Hey, you were supposed to always have my back." - Ellie scolded Dean, who just shrugged.

"That was when you were supposed to be my Gamma. But you're not anymore."

The left side of his face curled up in a mocking half-smile that made him look just like Sean. They are usually nothing alike, but those few small expressions or gestures remind me they are brothers.

I focused back on my food, trying to push this out of my head. To stop thinking that the man I don't know what to do about is related to Harvest Moon's Alpha, the only one who, according to Igor, is his equal.

How many things could go wrong for this pack and family if I made the wrong call in the tournament? Two weeks ago, when I called my brother, it seemed like such a fine idea to end this cursed bond. But now I have a feeling I should have been more discreet, and either rejected Sean when I had a chance, or stayed away, living my own life. Because now, with all of them knowing about the bond, this can only end badly for… well, everyone, but especially me.

I glanced at Dean and Anya, both focused on the story my mother was telling Maddox, most likely something endearing from our childhood, and I was sure neither of them would want to uphold any relations with me or maybe even Dark Woods had I picked some other contestant, humiliating their brother in the process.

With Ellie, the case was similar. Everyone knows how devoted she and Sean are to one another. Maddox's dislike may work in my favor and they may remain civil towards me and my family, but nevertheless, our connection would remain strained.

Nicky, as the most pragmatic of the bunch, wouldn't want to choose sides. Nicky would most likely remain the same towards both of us. But his brother, Orson, may be somewhat of a problem.

He and Sean were the best of friends, just like Markella and I, and something tells me that my decision might screw things up for all four of us.

The idea alone made me sick to my stomach and suddenly it felt like the food wasn't sitting right with me.

By going along with my stupid revenge plan, I may become a family pariah. Alone in some foreign land with no way out. That's a rather dark scenario.

I wiped my lips with a napkin and stood up, gaining a questioning looks from everyone gathered at the table.

"I have to excuse myself. It's been one hell of a day, and I'm exhausted." - I said.

"Of course, Honey. Get some rest." - mother said diplomatically, but her wise dark eyes seemed to see right through my distress.

"I'll see you all at the official dinner tonight." - I said with a small nod and a half-hearted smile, and I left Alpha's dining room.

On the way to my bedroom I managed to keep my head high, posing for a confident and collected Orlov to all the servants I passed on my way. But once I closed my door behind me, my shoulders sagged as I leaned against the door.

I made a pretty big mess. Of course, Sean helped a little with staking his claim on me, but I probably shouldn't be toying with stubborn Alpha's feelings, especially the one who is so closely intertwined within my extended family.

"Stupid, stupid, girl." - I muttered to myself, closing my eyes in despair when echoes in the spacious room repeated the insult after me.

"I would say you're quite clever actually."

I yelled in surprise when hearing the familiar male voice coming from the dark corner, where the heavy curtain was still pulled shut.

"What are you doing here, Sean?" - I asked when my lungs filled with air again.

He at least had enough decency to pull on the rope, allowing the daylight to slip into the room on his side and unmask his presence. He was sitting in a love seat that stood by the large window, my very favorite place in the entire room. I can't remember the exact number of times I spent on this precise piece of furniture watching people mingling in the garden below, wondering what it would be like to be one of them, one of the normal folks. Or how many times had I pretended to be a princess locked in her high tower waiting to be rescued by her prince charming. Or how many books I've consumed there hoping to be one of the amazing characters. It's funny he chose that spot.

"I came in peace, so don't yell again." - he said flatly - "I wanted to ask you something."

"Oh?" - I asked, raising my brows and strolling deeper into the room, but stopping a good fifteen feet away from Sean. I still hadn't forgotten his threat to mark me on the spot, and I wasn't about to give him the opportunity to do so, had he chosen to play unfairly.

"Do you want me to step down from the competition?"

His question made me frown. For just a short while before I got back control over my facial expression, but it was a rather unusual thing to ask.

I crossed my arms, telling him I was waiting for him to elaborate.

"You clearly weren't appalled by my offer and I have a sinking feeling that today's task was meant to bury me for good." - he continued.

"No, it was not. You all had equal chances." - I said flatly.

"Yes, I know, but what you said at the beginning, about seeing the treasure when we met one, it felt like a direct dig at me."

He wasn't wrong, that's why I stayed with my mouth shut.

Sean stood up from his seat and lazily or maybe tentatively came closer to me.

"I know you're angry, even though I think you blew things out of proportion, but I'm here ready to make it up to you." - the comment about my actions being unreasonable had me clenching my jaw so hard that I was surprised that none of my teeth broke in the process.

"I meant what I said at the banquet, if you want your way out of it, I'm your guy, I won't force you into anything, even though I believe that if you had just stopped for a second on your raging crusade and actually talked to me, we wouldn't be in this mess right now." - he added seeing I wasn't ready to talk. But hearing that, I found my voice back.

"Sean, if you came to tell me I'm unreasonable, you made your point, now you can leave." - I said defiantly, letting some of my irritation show.

"Goddammit, woman!" - he hissed with annoyance, making me flinch. - "Do you want me gone?" - he asked sternly, knitting his dark brows together.

But I didn't answer. I didn't know how. Yes, I wanted him to feel so small and insignificant as he made me feel. But at the same time, the other, most masochistic part of me, wanted to see him fight for me.

"No words? Surprising coming from you." - he mocked me. - "But if you want me out of your life once and for all, just say the word and I'm gone. You made it quite clear that you will do everything within your power to make winning impossible for me, so just say it and…"

"And you want to tell me you want to win the tournament? Win me?" - I cut him off dubiously.

He shot his mouth and watched me for a second.

"Why do you think I came here?" - he asked back. - "Why do you think I confronted your family, going against my one rule to keep my private business private?"

"And you did it all to give me a way out?" - I asked, keeping my chin high.

"No, I would rather you gave us another chance, but if that's not an option for you, I won't force you."

His words made the sudden warmth spread in my chest. He was oddly considerate. But then again, Sean always had a way with words to get what he wanted from me.

"Why?" - I asked.

"Why what?"

"Why would you want another chance? I heard what you said to your Gamma. I sounded more like a chore than a person you take seriously."

He winced at that recollection and looked away with a heavy sigh.

"You're right." - he said, surprising me that he actually agreed. - "If I overheard you talking this way about me I would have been pissed too, and for that I'm sorry." - a sincere apology surprised me even more. - "But you have to know that Jackson is probably the last person in whom I would confine any of my feelings. Sometimes I think he was born just to rile me up."

"And what kind of feelings were those, Sean? The sense of duty, fear that the family will ban you if we don't work out?" - I asked mockingly. Sean's jaw clenched hard as he glared at me, a clear sign that I had hit the right nerve.

He took a menacing step closer, but I was too stubborn to take a step back, so we ended up almost chest to chest.

"Duty? Fear? You really think that either of those would make me chase you down to damn Russia?" - I gulped, unable to find words.

He was right, it wouldn't. Actually, I offered him a perfect solution had he stayed away. All he had to do was stay put in the States waiting for the tournament to be over and me being sent away to my new home alongside the winner. But he didn't.

"Then what brought you here?" - I asked with less bravado than before.

He smirked with that lazy lopsided curl of his lips that made him look equally dangerous and sexy, the definition of tall, dark and handsome. I hated that look. Okay, maybe not hate it, but I certainly didn't appreciate the way it worked on me. My stomach made a flip, and my blood started coursing faster through my veins, not to mention the breath that caught in my lungs. Yup, hated it.

"You, you infuriating woman, because I definitely CAN recognise a treasure when I see one." - he paraphrased my own words from the tournament and before I could come up with some witty response, he dug his fingers into my hair untangling a few strands from a bun and he smashed his lips on mine.

I gasped in shock, not expecting him to be this bold, which turned out to be the worst thing to do, because as soon as my lips parted his tongue darted in, deepening the kiss that made my knees go weak. And to my utter horror, I was unable to push him away. I'm not sure whether it was the bond or the love I had for him that I was unsuccessful in forgetting, but I felt myself leaning into him and kissing him back.

It felt like no time at all had passed. Like there was no four-month break, but rather as if we picked up where we'd left off. His lips were soft yet demanding and possessive. The kiss alone felt as if he was branding me as his anew. And if his lips descend to the column of my neck I'm not sure I would oppose his canines breaking through my skin. With that one kiss he showed me just how hungry he was for me, and to be honest, I was flattered and giddy.

His lips left mine too soon, and my dazed body staggered his way right into his strong, waiting arms. He nuzzled my neck, ear and temple almost tenderly, maybe even with longing, before he kissed my forehead.

"Keep in mind that this relationship lasts a couple of years longer for you, but don't ever call yourself a duty. I should have marked you the day you asked me to, but I stupidly wanted to make things right, be respectful to you, your family, make everyone happy, when the only one I should have made happy was you." - he murmured into my ear, sending pleasurable shivers down my spine. - "I want you Cilia, and I can fight to prove it. But if you don't want me anymore, just say the word and I'll be gone. Okay?"

I was completely dumbfounded by his speech and unable to form any sane words, so I just nodded with my eyes focused on his hard chest, instead of his eyes.

"I don't expect a decision now, but just give me a sign when you make up your mind." - I nodded once more and right after that he kissed my forehead again and stepped away, making me feel cold and alone. - "Get some rest." - he added before walking to the door and quickly disappearing behind it, making me wonder if all this was just a figment of my imagination.

I touched my lips, and the way they were sore and swollen from his ever-present stubble made me sure he was very much real. And so was the kiss.

He gave me a lot to think about. Which wasn't completely possible with my confused mind. The rest he suggested sounds like a dream now, but something tells me I will see him telling me I want you, Cilia, over and over again when I close my eyes. But I'm not sure if my heart will stand the test of another heartbreak, even though it feels like it's once again beating stronger.