TWICE MATED

Uncertain future

ANAIAH’S POV

When I finally woke up, I realized that I was no longer in the forest. I remembered that I had been picked up by two wolves who insisted that I was in trouble simply because of where I was from. I remembered the fact that I was afraid for my life and that I had been told that the alpha of this pack was going to kill me. Aside from the fear that had now crept back into my heart, I was also very hungry. I hadn't eaten anything since last night because I had been very nervous about meeting my mate. I had spent the night wondering if he would accept me and, unfortunately, I hadn't been accepted. I can't say that I expected this pack to give me a warmer welcome than the one they had given me, considering the fact that I was from what they called an enemy pack. They told me to consider myself dead because there was just no way that their alpha was going to allow me to live. I can't say that that scared me because I figured I was better off dead. If he didn’t kill me, where would I go? Even being a slave to them sounded better than me being out there and living my life as a lone wolf and I wouldn’t even last that long out there if I was all alone. I wanted to ask them to help me with some food because I was starving, but I knew they wouldn’t give me anything. Why would they feed a wolf that they knew they would end up killing anyway?

This brought me back to the main reason why I was here and how I had ended up here. This was all Michael’s fault. He had failed me twice already and all I one night. First, he had rejected me and then he tried to kill me but failed dismally at it. What kind of a man was he? He couldn’t even complete the simple task of killing a harmless omega like me. If he had killed me, I wouldn’t be here right now wondering what these wolves were planning to do to me. When faced with the choice of blatantly telling me that he didn’t want me, Michael settled for pretending and leading me on so that I could relax and think that he accepted me, but that was never his intention. What kind of a wolf tries to kill his own mate?

I understood that the reason why he had tried to kill me was that he didn’t want me. I guess he didn’t want me, but at the same time, he didn’t want anyone else to get the opportunity to want me after he rejected me. He was truly the most selfish man that I had ever met. Instead of him sitting me down and letting me know that he didn’t want me because I was way beneath him, he decided that he didn’t want to discuss anything with me and that killing me was the best option that he had. Could I be blamed for hating the man who tried to kill me? He wanted everything to be about him and if it wasn’t about him he made sure to turn it around and make it so. The night was supposed to be about us, but because he felt that he was too important and too good to share his life with me, he decided to end mine. I didn’t understand why he thought that I wouldn’t understand if he told me he didn’t want me. I didn’t understand why he thought that I would refuse to break the mate bond if he asked me.

Maybe he was afraid that I would go around telling his precious subjects that he had rejected me, but I wasn’t that stupid. I was sure that they were going to take his side if I told them that he had rejected me because I was just an omega and I probably didn’t deserve to be the Luna in their eyes. If he had asked me or if he had told me that he didn’t think it would work out between us, I would have gladly given him what he wanted. I would have gladly participated in breaking the mate bond because I knew now more than ever that he was not the kind of man that I would have wanted to father my pups.

One good thing came out of last night and that was the fact that I had gotten out of that pack. It’s just that I never thought my own mate would be the one driving me out. I had always dreamed of getting out of the pack or escaping my prison, as I often called it in my daydreams. I always thought that my mate would be the one who would get me out of that pack because it never occurred to me that my mate would actually come from the pack. What I still struggled to understand was why I hadn't known that Michael was my mate, but then again, who ever understood the way the moon goddess did things? I still didn’t understand why she had even chosen Michael for me, because she also knew that this would happen. I believed she knew him well enough to know that he would reject me and yet she still chose him for me.

I had been so heartbroken last night as my life leaked out of my body with every strained breath that I took. I had been sad that my own mate had done this to me and that he had rejected me in such a devastating way and, worst of all that he tried to kill me. However, when I woke up this morning, I woke up with a new perspective, and the dungeon I was in contributed to that new perspective. Today I was mad as hell, I was mad that he had tried to kill me and I was mad that I had survived. What was I supposed to do with my life now? How was I supposed to start my life afresh after everything that had happened to me? I was now officially a rogue. I never thought I could get any lower in life but Michael had just proven to me that the surprises of this world never ended.

I was now not only an omega, but I was a homeless rogue omega. Could I go any lower than that? No one was going to take me in or even accept me. If the moon goddess gave me another mate, I was certain that he would do the same thing to me. Did I not deserve to be loved? But then again I was a prisoner here and my execution was imminent. I wasn’t going to live to meet my second chance mate and I realized that this was the end of a chapter for me. I couldn't see how I could convince these wolves to let me live because they believed that I was here because I had been sent by alpha Michael. Maybe if I told them the truth about who I was they would allow me to live and realize that we had the same enemy, but I couldn’t risk humiliating myself like that. I wanted to tell them but I was afraid that the truth would not have the effect that I desired.

Maybe this was a new start for me, maybe the moon goddess had blessed me by saving my life. Maybe this was a new beginning for me and just maybe I could get another mate here. Maybe I was looking at this the wrong way and maybe this was an opportunity for me to start my life afresh. I could create a whole new identity here and pretend as if my past wasn’t as painful as it really was. I just had to convince them that killing me wasn’t going to serve them any good and that Michael wasn’t going to care if I died. I just didn’t know how I was going to do that. Another problem that I was faced with was that I was still feeling my bond with Michael even though I was far away from him. Whatever he had tried to do last night clearly didn’t work and that was the reason why I was feeling this way. If he had told me what he was trying to do, maybe we would have successfully broken the mate bond without putting my life at risk and without me being homeless in the end.

As if the problems that I was facing here weren't enough, my wolf started convincing me or trying to convince me that my second chance mate could have been here. The dungeon was filthy and it stunk, of course, but the smell in the dungeon wasn’t even strong enough to mask the faint masculine scent that was driving my wolf crazy. It was this scent that convinced her that our mate was somewhere here and I knew that I was imagining things because I already had a mate. Why would the moon goddess give me another mate when I was still mated to Michael? There was just no way that this new relationship would work without me having to go back home to face Michael and that was if I did have a second chance to mate here. I had no intention of going back to that pack and that was the reason why I was going to beg these wolves to kill me before this new mate found me. I didn’t need any more complications in my life. I was sure that Michael would try to kill me and finish off what he started if I even went back to the pack. If he knew I had survived he would try to kill me off so that I wouldn't tell anyone what he had already done to me.

I didn’t want another mate, I didn’t want to give anyone else a chance to reject me and make me feel like I was the scum of the earth. I just wanted to die and if I was refused that grace too, I would rather live my life in peace and I would even settle for being a lone wolf if it meant that I would never have to deal with a potential mate.

I had lost all hope and trust in the moon goddess and her ability I picked the best mates for me. She had done me wrong and even though I wanted to blame Michael entirely for what had happened to me I had to admit that the moon goddess played a part in this and I didn’t see any reason for me to put my trust in her when she had already failed me. The only person I could trust right now was myself because I knew that I would never put myself in danger. I knew that I would never betray myself, and all I wanted to either survive this so that I could live my life in peace of die in peace.

I didn’t even know where I was right now or what was going to happen to me. What I knew for sure was that I had been told the alpha of the pack would kill me because he had some kind of grudge against Michael. I didn’t really care about that, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to live or I wanted them to let me go. If they did let me go where would I go? If I wasn’t going to be caught by some other alpha who was going to talk me back to Michael, I was surely going to be meat for rogues out there. There was really nowhere for me to go and I guess death was the only thing that would be good for me. If the alpha decided that he wanted me dead after speaking to me I wasn’t even going to try to beg him to let me live, I was going to accept my fate knowing that there wasn’t anything for me to live for. I had lived my life as a beggar and I had always begged for mercy from other wolves and I was just at a point where I was very exhausted. I just wanted a peaceful death.

I had to snap out of it, I had to stop thinking of the worst-case scenario and try to make the best out of this situation. Why would the wolves that saved my life want to kill me? If they hadn’t come when they did I wouldn’t have survived and in a way, they were my heroes. Of course, they had told me that their alpha would kill me but maybe he had told them not to do anything to me because he saw the condition that I was in. Surely no spy would come into enemy territory while on the verge of death. I didn’t know much about these things but I knew that nothing about my situation proved that I was a spy for Michael. Ever since they brought me here, they had sent their pack doctor to check on me and give me some medication and that was another reason I didn’t believe that killing me was their plan. I had to believe that they could allow me to live here, especially if they ended up not killing me.

Judging from the conversation they were having after they picked me up, I would say that they didn’t rescue me because it was the right thing to do. It was all because of where I was from and they were hoping that they could get something out of me. They probably thought that I had some information that would be useful to them but I didn’t. I was just an omega and the only thing I knew was how the alpha liked his food and things that I was not supposed to do in his presence. I wondered what they would do once they realized that I didn’t know anything about Michael or his pack because I was just an omega, they were probably going to kill me or make me an omega. I wondered how omegas were treated in this pack. Was the treatment the same as the one that I had received from Michael or were they going to treat me like a wolf with feelings too?

I was done begging anyone for anything, the only wolves that these alphas ever considered were themselves, they didn’t care about anyone but themselves. They didn’t care about their subjects and they only cared about their mates when it suited them. They only cared about the mates that complimented their alpha status and nobodies like me were always going to die as nobodies, this was just the sad fact of my life. If this alpha decided that I was better off dead, then that was fine with me. I wasn’t going to beg him to spare my life, as a matter of fact, I was going to end my life for him so that he wouldn’t have to go through the trouble of it. I was so tired, I was tired of living.

I was still in pain. Of course, the medication that had been given to me had helped me a little bit with alleviating the pain that I was in but it didn’t completely get rid of it. I still didn’t understand what Michael had given me and why it wasn’t going away and neither did the doctor that had been checking on me. He was very confused when every time he came to see me he found that I was in the same condition that I had been in when he previously left me. I never thought breathing would ever be so exhausting or take this much effort, but it was taking a lot for me to do that simple thing.

I was at peace with death even though it felt like I had already died my first death when Michael not only decided that he didn’t want to be with me but also tried to kill me. I had heard all sorts of horrific and heartbreaking stories of girls who got rejected by their mates but none ended with the girl either being dead or close to death.

Michael was going to go down in history for that one. I couldn’t help wondering what his life was like now that I was gone. Was he happy that I was gone? The best thing for me to do was to ensure that I could never be found. However, I would first have to speak to the alpha in this new pack. I had been told that in order to be able to speak to the man in charge I would have to get better first and they said that as if it was all in my hands as if I was expecting to decide that I wanted to be okay. They told me that he had a lot of questions for me and that I would need my strength when I was going to face him. I couldn't even imagine the type of questions that he had for me but I could imagine that he wanted us to talk about Michael. They were making it seem as if this man was obsessed with Michael, but I dared not say that. Michael was the last thing I wanted to talk about and the fact that the alpha of this pack wanted me and his to have an in-depth conversation about him made me wish that I wouldn’t get better.