Klara
Though I'd thought of taking a bus ride home, in the end, I decided it was impossible. It would be a long trip, and while I wouldn't mind the scenic route, I was now impatient to go back. I wanted to see my parents, have a good talk, a good cry, and go to sleep.
Lucky for me, I had enough funds to purchase an airline ticket, and more money to pay back. I didn't like taking loans. I didn't have a formal job, though I did do some small stuff online that got me pocket money each month so I'd bother my parents less, I was hopeless with loans.
I'd have to bother Mom and Dad to pay it back for me, I thought sadly.
I wanted to try at least and sleep through the flight, but my emotions weren't quite stable. I was excited, nervous, anxious, with apprehension growing in the background. I would have to face everything I'd been running from, after all. It wouldn't be easy, and I did miss my family and friends.
Did I make a mistake?
I didn't know how much time I had left. Maybe, instead of wasting it getting wasted in clubs, I should have been spending time with the people that cared about me. After all, once I was gone, the ones that would suffer the most would be them. Mostly, I was afraid, but that was something I didn't want to deal with alone.
Hours later when the plane landed in the airport, I felt awful, my eyes felt swollen, and there was a low ache in my head. I was still feeling pretty stressed, but I was ready to face everything.
I passed some time, stopping at a café in the airport to have some breakfast. Thanks to the timing of my flight, it was early in the morning when we arrived. After breakfast, I walked out to find a taxi to get me home.
The entire ride back, I was fidgeting, twining and untwining my hands together. How was I going to face my family? When I up and left, I didn't tell anyone where I was going, did they think I went to off myself out of grief?
Crap.
I was cursing myself now for being so careless, so heartless! Of course, they would worry about me, but all I could think of back then was myself. It had been more than two weeks since I left home in the middle of the night with my luggage. I had no idea where I was going or where I wanted to go, I just wanted to be the wild child for once, and possibly the only time, in my life.
By the time the scenery outside the taxi window started growing familiar, I was sweating in apprehension.
Mother, Father, please don't be too angry at me...your daughter will cry, okay?
The taxi came to a stop in front of my house, and I took a deep breath, before pulling out the cash for the driver. He got out with me and helped me pull my luggage from the trunk, and I paid him. Then, he drove off. I watched until it was out of sight, then turned back to the house.
Slowly, I walked toward the front door, and I was a little annoyed to feel my legs shaking. I smiled, a hysterical feeling itching in my chest. I wanted to be a wild child, and right then, I felt like a teenager going back home to face the music after running off with friends without my parents' permission. I'd never been scolded before because I was usually above reproach. I wasn't perfect or anything, but it was rare for me to get scolded about growing up, and the fear in my stomach was entirely new.
A thought suddenly jumped into my mind.
He would laugh if he saw me now, wouldn't he? Even though I was relaxed about coming home then...
The entire time I had been worried about everyone's reaction and thoughts of Jake jumped at me out of nowhere. I realized I probably wasn't the only one feeling apprehensive about going home. He'd ditched his brother at his bachelor party, and he'd gone home to face his parents and his brother about his life. While our circumstances were different, the situation was very similar, huh?
I wonder if he trembled like this when he got close to his home and facing his family.
I thought of it, standing in the middle of the family driveway, and decided that no. Jake didn't look like the kind of person to tremble at anything, and not out of fear.
Unconsciously, as I thought about him, my lips turned up in a smile. It also gave me the courage to march the last few steps to the door. My fear was completely gone as I knocked on the door and pushed. It was unlocked, and I walked inside, carrying my stuff inside with me.
"Hello?" I called tentatively. "Anyone around? I'm home!"
There was silence; then I heard rushing steps. My little sister came down the stairs and stared at me, then ran back up before I could say anything.
"Mom!" she yelled. "Klara's home!"
I opened my mouth to call her back so she would stop, but I didn't get the chance to, she was too fast. Not long after, both of my parents and some of my relatives came back down. They must have come to visit while I was away, so Mom and Dad probably spread the news.
"Klara!"
The yell came from my mom, and I disregarded everyone else as I turned to her. She looked so devastated; I couldn't help but feel guilty. She didn't even give me the time to say anything, just wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug. I hugged her back, ignoring the suffocating feeling, and felt my eyes sting.
"Klara, where have you been?" Dad asked, frowning.
I looked at him over Mom's shoulder and gave a trembling smile. "I just went out to have a quick vacation," I said dismissively.
"But we couldn't reach you for days," Mom complained.
I chuckled sheepishly. "I forgot to carry a charger, I was in a hurry, and I wasn't really in the best frame of mind after...getting the test results. Sorry I couldn't call you guys."
"Forget about that," Mom said impatiently, pulling away and holding me by the tops of my arms. "We were trying to contact you because we have big news! The doctor hasn't told us everything, because we were waiting for you, but it's good news, honey!"
She was smiling, the previous devastation on her face gone. I was a little surprised, but the smile I gave her wasn't very enthusiastic. After the news I got, would anything ever count as good news again?
I was dragged over to the couch and sat down. Dad joined us in the living room after making a quick call, and I didn't know where everyone else disappeared to. After some time, the front door opened, and I was surprised to see the family doctor walk into the house. It's not as if it was the first time, though he only ever came for emergencies, like that time my little brother fell down the stairs and broke his arm. I'd seen him with our relatives earlier, but Mom and Dad must have made everyone stay away.
"Dr. Carter," I greeted. "It's a surprise to see you here. I didn't know you made house calls?"
He smiled as he shook hands with my dad before the both of them sat down again.
"Well, I'm very relieved to see you. I know I didn't give you the best news and when you suddenly disappeared, we were all worried about your mindset."
I ducked my head, embarrassed. "I wasn't thinking of hurting myself, or anything. I just wanted to see the world more, because I don't get out much. I just went somewhere to relax and lost track of time."
Hearing my explanation, Mom squeezed my hands. When I glanced up at her face, she was smiling gently at me, like she didn't blame me for disappearing on them for two weeks, even though it was the only time I'd ever done something like that.
"Anyway," Dr. Carter said. "I told your parents to let me know as soon as you got back. I was just on my way to work, but I felt responsible, so I stopped by first."
I frowned, not sure what he was trying to get at. He had a briefcase with him, and he put it on his lap, opening it to pull out some documents inside. He held the papers out to me, and I hesitated before reaching for them, my heart starting to beat fast.
"Something was bothering me about your diagnosis, and I looked it over a second time with a colleague of mine," Dr. Carter continued as I looked over the documents. "We went over the results again and again, and it appears...that there might have been a mistake. Now, it's not solid yet, and we might need you in to take a few more tests, but it's entirely possible that you do not have cancer. You have TB."
I could hear a ringing sound in my ears, and it almost completely drowned out the doctor's words. But I heard him, and I read the results. A misdiagnosis wasn't impossible. I'd read up a lot about it after I first got the news and was going through denial, but after a while, I thought I had to face reality and accepted it. It was the same night when I packed my stuff and headed out without alerting anybody.
Now, here were the results telling me that there was a huge possibility I didn't have cancer. My eyesight went blurry, and I trembled.
"Honey, isn't that good news?" Mom said. "There's nothing too wrong with you. You're going to be okay!"
Her voice was soft, and growing a little rough. I blinked the tears out of my eyes and looked up to see she was crying as well. Even Dad.
Shit.
"I wanted to apologize to you and the family personally for the oversight," Dr. Carter said. "Mistakes happen in the medical field all the time, but I know this was something that distressed all of you, and for that, I am truly sorry. You all look like you want to be alone, so I'll be leaving for now. Klara, please come to the hospital within a week for the testing and so we can talk about your treatment."
I absently nodded at the doctor's words, and he got up and left.
"This is wonderful news, honey," Mom said, suddenly hugging me again as her chest heaved with her crying. "Such great news. You're still sick, but TB is easier to cure than cancer. Did you come into contact with anyone while you were away, honey? The whole family might have to go to see the doctor. Were you out with friends?"
Crap, I thought. So I don't have cancer?
I could barely hear my mom talking. My breathing grew rough as I hyperventilated. Mom wrapped me in her arms once more, and even Dad came to my other side and hugged us both. TB was contagious, wasn't it? I vaguely remembered learning about it in high school biology. I should move away from my parents and go to the hospital to get it checked immediately.
Right then, though, I couldn't move. Tears were pouring out of my eyes, and I stopped blinking them out of the way. My family was holding me, crying with me and reassuring me, but the relief I felt left me numb, so I just leaned into my mom's embrace and cried for a long time.
When I had a moment of clarity, I thought about Jake.
Now that I knew I wasn't going to die, I was thinking back at everything that happened since I got the results the first time. Especially my little trip to Vegas.
I had really been careless about that. Not to mention, I actually had a one night stand with a stranger I only knew for a day. I had been okay with it when I thought my time was limited, and I didn't still regret it, but I didn't know much about Jake.
I wanted to call him.
He might have gotten sick as well, and I wanted to let him know to go see a doctor. There was just one problem, though. I didn't note the suite number, besides knowing it was higher than mine. I didn't know his last name, either. My phone had been off the entire time, so I didn't have his number, and he hadn't left anything personal in his note.
Crap. I needed to tell him I had TB, but I didn't know how; and if I could talk to him a bit about him being my first time...
Wait, no. this doesn't change much; we didn't have any agreements, so that would only annoy him, right?
I thought of looking for him through the hotel before giving up on that. If I called with vague details, they would just think I was suspicious, wouldn't they?
My family saw I was troubled, but they were happy, so no one asked.
Two years later...