Second Time’s A Charm

Nine

As I sat in the airport terminal, waiting for my flight to Italy, I couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation tinged with anxiety. It had been a whirlwind few weeks since the divorce was finalized, and now here I was, about to embark on a journey to reunite with my parents after over a decade apart. I looked at the letter once more which was now dirty and wrinkled up after reading it so many times already.

The memories of the past few years flooded my mind, each one more painful than the last. First the good times the sweetness of a marriage I once thought would last forever then the baseless arguments, the feeling of betrayal – it all seemed like a distant nightmare now. But amidst the pain, there was also a glimmer of hope. A chance to start over, to reconnect with the people who had loved me unconditionally, even when I had pushed them away, betrayed them in the worst possible way.

I glanced down at mine and Mason’s duffle bags that contained a few of our clothes and shoes, feeling a pang of sadness as I thought about the life I was leaving behind. I kept looking at the exit perhaps hoping to see Michael walk through.

“Get over it”, I said to myself and shook my head.

“What did you say Mommy?”, Mason that sat next to me and played with his tablet asked.

“Nothing sweetie, don't worry about it “, I smiled and said. The divorce and everything that happened had taken its toll on my health. I haven't been feeling very well, but I knew all that would go away after I arrived in Italy and had a fresh start.

As the announcement for boarding echoed through the terminal, I gathered our belongings and we made our way to the gate. Mason always liked to fly he was so excited and his excitement was so infectious I felt it bubble up inside me as I handed over our boarding passes.

After Settling into our seats on the plane, I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia wash over me. It had been so long since I had been back to Italy, my parents and I had gone over there for vacations so many times when I was young. I was a step bringing me closer to the moment I had been dreaming of for the past few weeks.

I wondered how they would react to my sudden arrival, whether they would be able to forgive me. Will their faces light up with joy? Are they still eager to see me after not answering their letters? I didn't even have their number, what kind of daughter am I?

“ A shitty one”, I said to myself.

“What was that Mommy?”, Mason asked.

“Nothing sweetie, mommy is just scared of planes that’s all”, I smiled and said.

“It's okay no need to be scared I am here with you”, he said and kissed my hand before holding it in his tightly. What would I do without this little boy? Adopting him was the best choice I made. But I couldn't help but wonder if I would be able to handle motherhood on my own. Would I be able to give my child the love and support they deserved? But for this little angel, I will try, I will try my best to fill the role of both father and mother.

As the plane taxied down the runway, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to push aside the doubts and fears that threatened to overwhelm me. This was my chance to make things right, to rebuild the bridges that had been burned so long ago.

The hours passed in a blur as the plane soared through the sky, each mile bringing me closer to my destination. I tried to distract myself with a book, but my mind kept drifting back to the life-changing decision I had made. Would my life have been different if only I had listened to my parents? But I don't picture myself loving any other man apart from Micheal, to me he has always been the only man in my eyes.