Bearly alive

22

Stella

"No, Stella, I did not murder your Alpha." Roman all but snarls at me. "In case you haven't noticed, I've been a little busy lately."

I remain quiet, trying to wrap my head around the news that Alpha Benjamin is dead. He was so young. How can he be dead? A not so little voice inside my head reminds me that he was the farthest thing from a good person anyone could be, but I still can’t help but feel sorry for him. Sorry that he didn’t get to do more, experience more, find his true mate. Mate!

"Do you think it was Margo's mate?" I ask the question but Roman looks at me with an expression that says I don't know who any of those people are. Still, he seems to consider it for a few moments.

"I have another suspect in mind." He announces while his usual brown eyes become almost black. Roman looks like a man that just took an important decision, and my insides turn both in dread and excitement. It’s not hard to guess which comes from me and which from my wolf.

Still fisting the note, Roman pins me down with a stare full of determination. It's no surprise that I flinch like something burns me when he yells without any warning.

"Hey, vampire!"

A calculated second later, like she was just outside the door but didn't want us to know that, Autumn pokes her head inside looking as innocent but deadly as ever.

"You summoned me?" She asks mockingly, but Roman chooses not to hear the tone she uses.

"How do you feel about revenge?" His voice sends chills down my arms, like a poisonous blanket that I wrap around me at my own will.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I like a certain dish served cold, just like my heart." She replied sweetly, but the way her eyes flash and her lips curl makes me gulp. Loudly. They both look at me like seasoned wolves taking pity on a poor little lamb. Only neither of them is a wolf. If anything, I'm the closest thing to a wolf out of the three of us. Pathetic.

Autumn grows bored of the staring game quickly.

"So you think the same guy that tried to kill me is also responsible for killing Stella's Alpha?" She asks, clearly having made the connections quickly. Roman surprises me by nodding. "What is this, everyone that sees her must die?" Autumn asks, sounding like she doesn't understand what she's missing in this equation. Kind of like Roman, though he looks one step closer to solving the puzzle that seems to surround me. Thankfully they don’t seem to hold anything against me, or they are really good at being polite and hiding it. Somehow I doubt Autumn or Roman would be the kind of people to make that sort of an effort. Which is why something stirs inside me. It kind of resembles courage, or maybe foolishness. The will to die, maybe? All I know is that my mouth opens and words spill out before I can think them through.

“What can I do to help?”

Roman looks positively taken aback, to the point that his eyebrows raise slightly and his mouth opens, but he remains quiet. Autumn chuckles melodically. Somehow I feel stupid now that I’ve offered. I mean, how could I even help? It’s not like I can fight or anything.

“I think I was meant to ask that question. Since I’ve been summoned and all in the middle of the night.” She looks between Roman and I. “But I can’t say I wouldn’t welcome your help.” She ends it with a wink directed at me, before looking at Roman intently, letting him know it’s his show and he needs to make all the calls.

It may not be the time for thoughts like this, but the little girl that still lives inside me is perking up at the idea of being part of a team. Dare I even say, my own pack, even. Of course, Roman might say that I should stay in the house and not even dare to touch the door, but we all know how that went the last couple of times, so he will probably just politely decline my help. I mean, as polite as a guy like Roman could be, anyway.

“I need you to be the bait.” He finally says.

“Uhm, sure.” I reply with a mix of eagerness and confusion. In hindsight, I might have jumped the gun a little with my excitement of belonging to whatever this is that we have going on right now.

“I meant the vampire.” He produces the literal cold water bucket that has been dumped on my head and managed to bring me back to reality. To his credit, Roman does look a little awkward like he hates this weird situation just as much as I do. Autumn, on the other hand, seems to enjoy the show.

“Right. Of course.” I stammer. And why the hell am I still talking? I cringe at my social ineptness and almost breathe a sigh of relief when the vampire speaks and takes the spotlight off me.

“What do you have in mind, bear?”

“I want you to show yourself out there, make him aware that he failed and basically make him come back to finish the job.”

“How do you know he’ll come back and hasn’t moved on?”

“If he doesn’t, then he’s either dead or will be soon enough.” Roman growls. “ He’ll come, I know he will. And when he does, I can be there and ask some questions.” He adds in a chilling way.

Why do I have the feeling that Roman’s idea of asking questions translates to killing that person?

“Because that’s exactly what I plan on doing, Stella. But after I get some answers.” He turns his attention to me and provides a measured answer, even though I can tell he’s annoyed that he has to do that.

I freeze. Autumn just bursts out laughing, nearly spitting every ounce of her saliva like a cartoon. Oh, damn it. I did not just say that out loud, did I? I shut my eyes tightly, like that would somehow render me invisible. It doesn’t work, the only thing I manage to do is make myself look more stupid.

“Ah, I swear this is the most fun I’ve had in ages. Literally. Sans the stake too close to the heart, that is. But I’ll do it, bear. I shall be the best bait there is.” The vampire announces before looking from me to Roman. “She’s f*****g adorable, I just can’t.”

Autumn exits the room still chuckling and a grumbling Roman follows soon after. I guess that’s it, then. Meeting adjourned, or whatever it is that just happened.

I force myself back to sleep, but the mortification that still lingers above me like a dark cloud is not making it easy to rest. I keep picturing Roman storming back in here the second I actually fall asleep, a thought that both excites and frightens me. Somehow, I like the mix, it’s quickly becoming my guilty pleasure.

The thing that I don’t like is the trail of bodies that seems to follow me since the day I turned 18. My mind goes back to whoever hired Roman to kidnap me. Even though Roman never confirmed anything, I had been almost convinced Benjamin was that person. But now he’s dead and the only other person I could think of is Margo. But she wouldn’t have a reason to want me gone, certainly not to hire Roman to kidnap me and make sure he keeps me alive.

A mate for a mate.

The phrase swirls in my head like a broken record while my synapses fire off in search of that coveted ah-ha moment.

A mate for a mate.

If I’m a lycan, and somehow Benjamin figured that out even before I did, then maybe he tried to sell me? Maybe he tried to exchange me for Margo. I spring out of bed and rush downstairs, my turn to barge in on Roman.

My arrival is not nearly as dramatic as his, considering he’s supposed to sleep downstairs where it’s an open plan. So first of all, I don’t have a door to barge in through, and second, he’s not sleeping.

I halt as I spot him, computer in his lap and frowning at the screen. He looks up as soon as I arrive, but we both know he’s heard me the second I opened that door and got out of the bedroom.

“Do you plan on just standing there and staring?” He greets me. I can feel my cheeks reddening as heat and embarrassment travel up my neck.

I swallow a couple of times in a poor attempt to chase away the feeling of having cotton balls stuffed in my mouth. And I happen to know exactly how that feels like, but that’s a memory to unpack another time, like never.

“Alpha Benjamin sold me.” I manage to blurt out. Roman is still quiet. “ I mean, I think he sold me.” I spot the note next to Roman’s thigh and point to it. His eyes follow then return to look at me, his dark stare deeply intimidating.

I clear my throat to buy myself a little more time to organise my thoughts. I really should have done that before I came to Roman to give him my theory.

“His girlfriend found her fated mate in one of the King’s Gammas. What if that note was because Benjamin figured out what I am and he was trading me for Margo? You said it yourself, a lycan can mate with any other shifter. I think Benjamin was trying to offer Margo’s mate a replacement.” I wince. It sounded better in my head, more plausible. Saying it out loud it just sounds stupid. Judging by Roman’s reaction, he agrees.

“Tell me Stella, do you actually think that if an Alpha or future Alpha, finds out that a girl in his pack is actually a lycan, that he would just trade that girl off for his chosen mate to come back to him?”

“No, why would ever wan…”

“Stella…” As if reading my mind and already knowing what I was about to say, Roman interrupts me with a growl. An angry one. “Think! What would an Alpha do if he was the only one knowing of the existence of a lycan?”

I take a second, but it hits me. I remember Benjamin and how he always wanted the best, the most expensive, the latest model anything. All with as little effort as possible. Oh Goddess.

“He would keep me for himself.” I murmur.

“Bingo. But I do have to agree. Your Alpha tried to trade you off for that Margo chick. Though I’m convinced he had no idea what you are. I think he might have figured it out after I took you when the plan clearly failed.”

I don’t say anything, because even though I have no idea who Roman took me for, the reality or why that person wants me is a huge slap on the face. I think I’m going to be physically sick at the thought.