LOVE after HATE

I was worn out after my last subject, Accounting I, and my friends were planning on hanging out tonight. I couldn't because I need to go somewhere. I pulled my phone from my pocket, checking for messages and they were all from my friends. I stopped in front of my locker and typed my reply saying I couldn't because I need to visit my mom. After sending my reply I slipped the phone back inside my pocket and opened my locker. I literally dumped my whole backpack inside the locker, pushing it inside and shut it close. "Fvck." I muttered because life sucks before I walked out of the campus. I lifted the hood of my hoodie and jogged towards the nearest hospital. The front desk nurse smiled at me in recognition. I had been going in and out of that hospital for a month already after my mother was diagnosed there. She was in a coma for a month after a traffic accident. My father died because of that accident also. I didn't know what to do back then but I was glad that uncle Steve took me in his house. I was close with my uncle and he was doing everything to pay his sister's or my mother's hospital bills even though all his earnings were drained. We already sold some of mom's accessories, dad's car, furniture, and things and just this week we decided to lease the house. I was thinking of helping him with the expenses and stop attending school since my tuition was another burden but uncle told me that no matter what happened, I should continue my studies. Uncle Steve is an employee of a huge and well-known company and he's been there for a decade already. He said he would find another way to look for money. My sense of smell was already immune to the scent of disinfectants and any scent that an hospital gave off. I stopped in front of my mom's room and stared at the door for a moment praying that mom would be awake before I opened it. Mom was still laying on the bed and all those machines were still connected to her. The beeping sound was deafening. Every time I visit there, I didn't want to stay there for long hours because I didn't want to see her like that. I sighed as I sat on a chair and stared at mom. She was just sleeping and I was wondering what she was dreaming for a month. "Mom." I muttered and drag my chair closer to the bed. I tucked her hair under her ear. "I miss you already." Tears just started falling down my eyes without warning and I wiped it with my free hand. "I love you. Please wake up already, I just couldn't stand seeing you like this." I stayed there for half an hour before I kissed her forehead and said my goodbye promising that I would come back. Steve messaged me to buy my own dinner because he wouldn't be back before eleven. I sighed and slipped my hands inside the pockets of my pants as I went out of the hospital and I was surprised to almost bump at the front desk nurse on my way out. "Hey." I said and she smiled. "Hey, you're going out already?" She asked and I nodded, slipping my hands out from my pocket. "Favor." I said and she raised her brows. "Yeah, sure." "Please look after my mom." I said and she smiled sadly and nodded. "I will." She said and I thanked her before I went out of the building. I walked to a convenient store where I always buy my dinner if Steve messaged me that he would be home late. I bought an instant noodles and I stared at an expensive chocolate brand. I like chocolates and I felt like eating one but. . . I pulled my wallet and I pitied myself because I only have enough money for the noodles and bus fare. Fvck. My attention was caught when someone picked the chocolate. "Are you going to get this?" I looked at the one who picked it. He was almost the same age at me. Maybe older by a year or so. I shook my head then he and dumped it in his basket as if it doesn't cost that much. Damn it! Rich people. I lined to the counter and it felt like I was the poorest costumer there. I just bought a f*****g noodles and they were like wheeling their full shopping carts. I went out after paying and I kicked a can of I didn't know what it was since it was kinda dark. It just sounded like a can of spray paint so I picked it up and shook it. It wasn't empty and I felt like vandalizing everything. Specially that nice car parked in front of an apartment complex just right next to the store. I walked over and holy s**t, it's a fvcking sports car. If I wasn't mistaken, its a black Porsch and I checked the surroundings before I sprayed paint at the slick new car. They are rich anyway. It wouldn't be a problem and it would be easy for them to fix it. I was being stupid but they're rich anyway. I sounded like I have a thing with rich people. Well, I do. I ran away from that place after that and I didn't know why but I felt so relieve doing that thing. Crazy, I know. I arrived at Steven's house already quarter to seven. I immediately cooked the noodles I bought and then I watched TV as I ate my dinner. I was switching the channels and stopped when that movie channel was playing Real Steel. I knew the movie was a history already but I used to loved it and I watched it 'till the end. I brought my dish to the sink and washed it and then turn the TV off. The house grew quiet and cold and it just made me think of things I shouldn't be thinking. I went to my room upstairs and laid on my bed. It was still nine in the evening so I rolled out of my bed and grabbed my computer. Steve stopped me from selling my computer because he said I would need it for my studies. I browsed the internet, watch some random videos in YouTube until I got bored. I read the time and it was already eleven in the evening. I sighed and turned my computer off. I went out to use the toilet. Steve arrived after I went out of the bathroom and he gave me a tired smile when I was on my way to my room and he was climbing the stairs. "You look tired." I said. "Yeah. How was school?" He asked. "Same as always. The profs are still acting like bitches." I said and Steve chuckled. It made me feel relieved hearing it from his stressed face. "You should sleep early." He said and I smile. "Sleep is for the weak." I said and Steve shook his head while grinning. "Really." He sighed and tapped my shoulder. "Night." I said and I could see in his face that he still have something to tell me but he just closed his mouth. "Good night." He said and then I watched him as he went inside his room. Steve was only living there alone ever since because he wanted to be alone and independent. Mom said that he was always like that, they had a three-year old gap and my mom was the oldest. I went to my room and decided to sleep already. * * I went down after taking a bath and changed my clothes for school. Steve was already having breakfast and as usual reading his morning newspaper. "Morning." I greeted and he looked up from his newspaper. "Morning." He said. I sat on my seat and a hot coffee was already waiting on the table. "We're have a company gathering this Saturday and we are allowed to invite guests. Maybe you could come?" He suddenly said and I raised a brow. "So, you're like going to have a party and foods?" I asked. "Sort of." He said. "Will you come?" "Nah, maybe I'll pass. I don't want to be surrounded with some old man." I said and Steve chuckled. "You still have few days to change your mind though." He said and I nodded. Steve gave me a ride to uni everyday and I went home on my own. "Where's your backpack?" He asked me as he went out of the house. "I left it inside my locker." I said and he frowned at me before he unlocked his car. The ride was silent so I grabbed my earphone. I said thanks to Steve after getting off from his car. He gave me some cash and I thanked him again. Uni was same as everyday happenings. Boring management classes and so on. Then my friends were talking about how much I missed last night. They were partying like always and I didn't mind I wasn't there. I got to watch Real Steel. Haha. And I was thinking about what Steve said. The old man gathering. Should I go? Should I? I sighed and watched Ron, one of my friends, approaching me. We were going to eat lunch. I felt so hungry. Ron was grinning making me crossed my brows. He was being creepy again. "Dude, you will not believe what happened." He said. "I found a girl for me~" He sang Ed Sheeran's Perfect making me chuckle. He sounds horrible that I wished I could shut my ears. "Don't ever sing in front of me again, dude." I said and he laughed. "Dude, what are you talking. I sounded like a mother fvcking symphony!" "Yeah. A fvcked up symphony, yes." I said as we walked to the cafeteria. It was full. Always will every lunch. I just followed Ron who passed the tables and then stopped at a group of guys and girls. I knew the few of them by their faces. Ron leaned down and pecked a kiss to the girl with a long black hair and then he looked at me. "The girl I'm talking about." Ron said and the girl smiled at me. "You mean you sang about." I corrected and Ron chuckled. "Cherry." She introduced herself. "Cameron." I said. "But you can call me Mac." It was Ron who gave me that nickname. I didn't want him calling me Cam so he reversed it and I was cool with Mac. "Mac." The girl smiled. "Ron did talked to me about you." She said making me chuckle. "I hope it were good stuffs." I said and she laughed. "Yeah, good stuffs." She said and then I was also introduced to the other people there at that table. We got to join them on their table even though they were also so full, it was better than we have to wait. * * Steve bought me a new three piece suit for the gathering when I said that I changed my mind about not going with him. I sighed. He shouldn't have bought me that suit because I had an old suit but I wasn't sure if it could still fit in me. I wrapped the towel around my waist and went out of the bathroom. I walked to my room and pulled a fresh pair of boxers and threw the towel away then wore my white long sleeve undershirt and started buttoning the buttons. Then the trousers, tucking in the under shirt. It was a perfect fit. I grabbed the belt and then wore it. I buttoned the end of the sleeves and then the coat. I grabbed the purple printed necktie from the bed and I forgot how to tie one so I slipped it in my pants pocket and walked to the mirror. I gelled my blonde hair which was already growing longer. It was mom who always whine about getting a haircut. I sighed before I went out and climb the stairs down. Steve was already done dressing and he didn't look different since it was his attire almost everyday. "You look good." He said, smiling at me and I chuckled. "Yeah, I'll look even more handsome if you teach me how to tie this." I said and pulled the necktie out from my pocket. ** ** ** ** ** **