Can you love me

a f t e r m a t h

The rusted brown ceiling was the first thing I saw over my head as my iron heavy lids opened with great effort. I almost had to stop breathing as the pain coursed through my body. I can feel each organ inside me being ripped apart.

My vision cleared a bit but my breathing got heavier and painful. Around me stood Armour looking pained and worried, Celine who was crying, a healer who was trying to work his magic, Blade who I didn't expect to be there, Brendon and Luca. And then the door opened and in walked Jayden.

"Did someone die?" I said each word with great difficulty.

They just looked at me with pity, an expression I hated.

I was kind of happy that I was dying , no more troubles and cursed dramas.

"We called your parents, they are on their way," Luca said and I was surprised to see tears in his eyes.

I tried to get up but Armour held me in place. I looked at him and tried to look for a shadow in his eyes, shadow of fear or hate or disgust but like always he seemed unfazed by my killing. Another kill, another series of nightmares but now I will be dead.

"Is the globe thing safe?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Yes," Brendon answered.

I slowly begin to notice the injuries on others.

Blade walked closer to my bed and sat down next to me.

"You will not die Lice, I just got you back." He sounded like the little bratty prince he used to be when we were young.

I chuckled and that made me choke out blood, making me realise my bad condition. And somehow the first person I noticed was Jayden who looked like he was about to cry. Did he not see me killing a ninja leader with bare hands?

And then Blade pulled out his notorious blade he carried even when he was a kid and muttered few words and then he put the cold blade on my forehead. Last thing I saw was Jayden's eyes which said so more that he himself does.

***

I am pretty sure it was a dream because I can't hold hands with anyone. But I was holding hand with a dark silhouette. We are walking on sand and the sun was setting leaving a warm orange hue around us.

"Can you feel your heart, Annalise?" The voice said, I can recognise but for some reason, I can't name it.

My heart was thudding loudly against my chest.

It was wonderfully warm and secure the way he held my hand and I never wanted to let go. And then as if fate heard my wishful thinking, the person next to me started burning up in flames. I shrieked and tried to let the hand go but the person held in tightly not letting me go.

Before the person could burn right in front of me, my eyes shot open ending the dream.

"Annalise, are you alright?" Blade asked in a worried tone.

How is this possible? The excruciating pain from my body was gone , my nerves were not dissolving and I could breathe easy. How am I alive?

"Remember the healers I told you about in the village?" Armour really could sense my mind and questions in it.

I nodded, "Grandparents of Prince." He answered and I realised they were way more than healers.

Keeping people alive in Serpent King breath, saving someone hit by Sword of death, they were amazing. I got up trembling slightly and though I was healed I was still weak. Back in full senses, I didn't want to face anyone here well except Armour since I was damn comfortable with him. And suddenly my mind flashed back to the dream and my hands curled into a fist like always. The image of a person burning could be really disconcerting.

"I want to go back to classes." I tried to keep the weakness hidden from my tone.

"It is Friday, you can go back on Monday," Luca said and gave me a stern look like a big brother.

I got down from the bed since I wanted to go back to my room and be left alone. I wanted to cry out all the pain I was feeling in that moment. It's weird how human minds works when I am alone I want someone around but right now I wanted to be alone.

My legs trembled under me and I wanted to just crumble down but I was stronger in will than I was physically right now.

Armour started to help me but I raised my pleading eyes to request him silently for solace. As expected he nodded and backed off. But then someone swung me in his arms; Jayden Wallace. I wriggled to get off but in that moment he was really strong or should I say I was really weak. He carried me in his arms as I struggled to keep my hands to myself.

He knew, he saw I killed someone with one touch and yet?

As he carried me out as i lost to his hold on me, he asked, "Do you really want to die that much?"

His tone held accusation somewhere and I knew he saw the relief in my eyes when I was hit by the Sword of Death. I didn't answer.

"So you are the rumoured cursed girl. Now I know why you are so closed off?" He didn't sound surprised or weirded even a little bit.

I still kept quiet about the whole thing. His eyes followed my hands clutched close to my chest, probably my whole body shaking, my face pale with instinctive fear that happens every time someone is close. He kicked open the door to my room and carefully laid me down on the bed. All this while his eyes never left analysing me and I was getting slightly squirmish.

Have you heard about the magic where people can talk in one's head?

His voice asked me in my head.

No, I don't. I answered through the same medium.

He sighed and looked away also making me sigh in relief.

"Why do you want to die?" He asked now sitting next to me.

"I don't" I lied.

And it looked like he didn't believe me either.

"Well now that I know I am not letting you die easily." His smirk was back and to my surprise I felt that kind of relieving.

***

Monday morning I woke up at four, not intentionally but due to the nightmare where I accidently touch Armour instead of Ninja Leader and end up killing him. I looked at the scar of the blade cut on my calf. It was still fresh and deep, it hurt like hell when I walked but it was nothing like the pain in my head.

I got up again and went to my solace point, the armoury. And started slashing swords in random movements which I needed to perfect. Each time I moved my feet I could feel the pain and I knew that sooner or later the wound will open but that didn't stop me from hitting some armoured dummies there.

For some reason, I started feeling uncomfortable and my hand kept touching my wrist. I realised I was not wearing my wristband, the one Armour's gran gave me. And though it might sound stupid but I felt weird without it.

I swung my sword hard to my left trying to hit the air to let my anger and agitation out but something stopped my hit and I felt a sharp pain in my head. I fell down on my knees and everything darkened, I gasped for air and tried to call out but I lost my voice as well. Someone was holding my sword and that thing was like a dark fog.

I closed my eyes and opened them again hoping this was another nightmare but I was still in dark and this time something hissed close to my ear. My heart leapt with too much force making me breathe with difficulty.

My wound opened and I could feel warm blood trickle down my leg. Letting all the frustration and anger go, I yelled out pulling away my sword with full force.

"You grow stronger and darker." The voice hissed next to me in absolute darkness.

I was not scared at that moment because I was never scared to die. I was furious as I raised my sword and slashed it around me blind, in an attempt to hit.

"Coward, show yourself," I yelled throwing out bait.

There was laughter that could chill your spines.

"Coward , me? And what you are you? Scared of a little curse, killing people."

"Right now I can kill you if you show up," I yelled into darkness.

"I will show up when you will be nothing but a killer , till then try finding that true love. If you stop being such a prude, you might find him in the right time."

And then there was light again and I was in the armoury. I was not dreaming because I was standing with my sword raised and my wound was bleeding. Next moment, the armoury door opened and Armour walked in looked worried as hell.

"Why did you lock the door?" His expression face was replaced by worry and his normal tone held anger.

"I didn't. How did you open it?"

"Broke it." Well, my Golden Knight bodyguard just broke an iron door, fantastic.

"My wound re-opened," I said to escape any lectures.

"Why are you here and without the bracelet?" He was actually scolding me.

"I wanted to let some steam off and what's so special about the bracelet?"

"My grandma says it wards you against evil intrusion and bad dreams." Ah, that explains some peaceful nights since I got it.

But where is it now?

I limped next to him and he noticed it but didn't help me. He looked too angry right then.

"What did your grandmother mean when she said something has changed?" I asked out finally.

He stopped walking and inhaled sharply.

"My killer instincts." He said and that made me even more curious.

"What?" I edged closer and winced as the wound hurt now.

Suddenly he bent down and lifted up my pyjamas to the point of my injury. I was too stunned but before I could react, he tied up the black piece of cloth tied on my wound that was previously wrapped around his palm.

"Why hasn't this healed?" I asked since I know a healer can easily make this go away.

"Because you don't want it to."

"What is that suppose to mean?" I grew defensive since I knew what he meant.

"You are guilty , Knights that died today and how you couldn't help. You are guilty of killing even if you killed a dark supernatural creature by using your curse. You are not letting yourself heal." He said it right but there was no way in hell I will accept this.

And then his hands softly brushed my calf and I knew he was healing the injury.

"You should know, you saved me and Jerk. If we would have received that cut Prince will not be here to save us and we would be dead. Or worse Ninja could have killed us right there."

He was consoling me but all the consoling I heard and noticed that Armour called Jayden as a jerk, with capital J and despite everything a laugh escaped my mouth and I noticed a very small smile on never smiling Armour's face.