Abused Unloved Mate

Rose vs. sunflower

I'm back in a field laying on my back staring at the sky. The air smells like lavender and fresh raspberries. The sun is warm against my skin and I realize I never want to leave this spot.

" I didn't think I would see you so soon my child."

I heard a beautiful voice and saw the moon goddess approaching.

"This isn't real?" I was a little disappointed but figured since I had no idea how I got there. It made sense she was behind it.

"We are in you mind my love. This is your happy place somewhere in your mind."

"But if that's the case why don't I recall ever seeing this place?" I took in the meadow again and saw the beautiful bed of flowers everywhere. The cherry blossom trees mixed with the willow trees. This place was truly magical. I stood and walked towards the pond to stand next to her.

"Your eyes may have forgotten but your senses will remember it forever. This is one spot is what made me choose your path and partner."I can only nod by her statement.

"So why have you visited?" I finally got around to asking.

"Rose you have been labeled as many things but I never knew you were a quitter."

        "What do you mean?"

"Rose, every night you were beat. Every week you were forced to be intimate without your consent. Yet you never gave up. By me giving you these gifts Rose I have made you the most powerful purebred on this earth. So why won't you go back."

I didn't know what she meant. Of course I wanted to go back why wouldn't I?  I finally had a reason to live again. last time I saw her I wanted to go with her but now everything is different. " what do I have to do to go back?"

She stepped on the water but didn't sink. "Remember " is all I heard as she walked and eventually faded into the willow tree.

Remember? Remember what exactly? I closed my eyes and tried to think. All I could think was that I had to remember to get back to Zeke he must be worried about me.

Zeke.

And like a slideshow set on fast forward the images started coming back. Our fist sparring match. Our first time getting icecream. Our first kiss. Blood. Blood everywhere.

Just as I started remembering, my beautiful meadow started dying. The flowers started to wilt and lose their color and the trees looked like they were caught on fire and the beautiful pond turned black. I looked up and the sun was gone and there was nothing, everything was dark and cold and empty. Then everything started spinning until it was one blob. It was dark but I saw a glimpse of light and as I walked towards it I heard people screaming.

" GET SOME MORE ICE SHE IS BURNING UP."

"SOME ONE GRAB A SCAPAL WE HAVE TO CLOSE UP HER SHOULDER."

"who's gonna tell her about Zeke when she wakes up."

"Her temp is 120 degrees technically she should be dead."

Zeke. His name started a spark. Where is Zeke?

"CRASH CART SHES SEIZING AGAIN."

"ONE. TWO. THREE. CLEAR"

My chest felt like it was on fire I went to scream but nothing came out. Don't they realize that I'm awake.  "Someone tell me where is Zeke?" Why is no one listening to me.

"Again, One.Two. Three. Clear."

This time when I screamed Zekes name someone must have heard me because I heard others start to say his name.

"Rose you need to take a deep breathe baby." I looked over and saw Cole is holding my hand. I didn't want him I wanted Zeke . I didn't pull away though  because he was calming Lilly and I couldn't afford to pass out again I needed to go find Zeke. I knew the mate bond can speed up the healing process and right now that's what I need right now is to heal.

"Cole?" He kept his eyes on me. He looks like he hasn't slept in days. "Lay with me." The words left my lips before I knew it. I didn't want him but I knew Lilly needed him at this moment she couldn't afford another heartbreak right now. I needed to find Zeke so she knew that he would be ok.

Cole sat there and looked at me like he didn't understand what language I was speaking. "Cole?"

He cleared his throat"yes coming" he quickly stood up and climbed into the bed with me. I nestled my head into the crook of his neck and sniffed. Raspberry and vanilla. All my hair stood up with him this close it was intoxicating and intense. He wrapped his arm around me and became less tense and started playing with my hair. "Beautiful "

I didn't know what he was taking about but I was able to become calm enough to drift back to sleep.

I woke up to the smell of mashed potatoes. When I opened my eyes I saw Cole still sleeping. I tried to wiggle free from his grasp but he seemed to only tighten his grips.

"Where you running to little pup?" He still hadn't opened his eyes but I knew he was now awake.

"I'm trying to go find food"

He pulled me back and kissed my neck. I felt a jolt to my core and it was instantly replaced with emptiness. I need Zeke.

" I need Zeke." I looked down I couldn't face him. At this moment he knew that I had used him. When my eyes finally met him I saw nothing but black. His wolf was taking over because of his rage.

"Cole, take a deep breath."

      "Coles not here. I'm Mayhem. Let me get this straight you had us lick your wounds for another man to have you."

"I'm sorry Mayhem but I love him."

"Well let me be a gentleman and take you to see lover boy."

I was scared because wolves were unpredictable and I knew his motives weren't pure but hadn't cared. I needed Zeke. It's been weeks since The war and I needed to know if he was alive or not.

"Well here's his room head In. I'm sure he will love the surprise."

I gave Mayhem a questionable look before I opened the door to find Zeke sitting on his bed with his Tongue down Veronicas twin sisters throat.

"What the hell." I stoop in the door way. Zeke broke the kiss and his eyes met mine and his lust was instantly replaced with guilt.

Lori piped up" don't you knock?" My claws were ready to come out but I felt something holding me back. I look up and sees Coles eyes.

"She's my destined mate." Zeke said as looking on the floor. He refused to look me in the eye. At that moment I felt like I was stuck In the head lights. I couldn't move or speak. Finally something came out.

"You always said the beast never would want the beauty he would just keep the Rose. I guess never say never right." I could feel tears well up in my eyes but I refused to cry in front of them.  I had lost both my mates to the Devil twins. Immediately after my comment Zeke snapped his gaze to mine and I could see he began crying. He tried to take a step away from Lori and came toward be but I ran.

I felt numb and I didn't care about the voices calling after me. I let Lilly take over and we ran out of the pack hospital just in time before she shifted. I just replayed every lie he ever told me. I was so consumed in my thoughts I didn't even realize where Lilly took me. When she gave me back control I stood looking around. It was my meadow, but how did I know this place existed. Then the memory finally came back. Veronica and her twin were picking on me at school one day before my mother died and Cole took me to his secret place. That was the day he told me we could share it. He said "they are just jealous of how amazing you are." He kissed my cheek that day.

My mother died a year later and I never came back again.

I shifted into human form and sat. I felt my hair stand up and new Cole had found me. He sat down next me to and didn't say a word. Finally I broke the silence.

"Do you ever become so numb you can't even cry? You just sit there and slowly feel the pieces in you breaking." I could feel Coles eyes on me but he still didn't say anything.

"Nothing good last forever. Isn't that how the old wise tale goes? Just once I want to be the reason someone wants to live."

Cole finally looked at me "Rose people like you."

"Yes they like me, but when will I be enough. When will it be the time when things get hard they pick me. When my mother died my father didn't pick me and let me go.

When it came time to stand up my brother let me go.

When it came time for you to pick your reputation or me you chose the Alpha.

I thought Zeke was different."

"Rose he can't deny the Mate bond"

"WHY THE HELL NOT. If i had to pick him or the f*****g mate bond I would have chosen him!!" I looked up and saw that Cole was hurt by that.

"When will someone just fight for me." I said it almost as a whisper. I don't know if he heard it or not but he didn't comment. When will I be chosen. What have I ever done to the Moon goddess to not deserve the love my friends get. I laid my head back and closed my eyes.

Tears started to fall as my mind drifted back to Zeke. The way he held my hand so gently you almost didn't notice if you didn't see it. His lips tasted of sweet cinnamon. Or all the first he promised me. I had a 100 thoughts and 99 were of him. How can someone want children and to marry you and just let you go like you meant nothing?

And yet still,All I wanted was my beautiful red head. He was my beast and my savior.

What hurts the most is opening up and telling him how I've  been hurt and my greatest fears.He promised to be different but In the end he was like the rest.

When It came down to it and there was a choice between a Rose and a sunflower.

he did what they all did, took the flower that didn't come with thorns. Once again everyone was happy and I was alone and unloved.