A Faerie's Curse

Chapter 10

Ten

She died in her sleep. The healers say she didn’t feel any pain, but how can they know that if they don’t even know what caused her death? I know, though … In the back of my mind, the truth of what happened to Victoria is there, crouched and lurking like a hideous, foul beast waiting for me to face it, to acknowledge it.

I refuse to look.

Hours after it happened, in the pale light of morning as family members and close friends begin to arrive, I’m still huddled behind the kitchen door, out of sight and trying to keep the horror at bay. I can still hear Violet’s scream. It’s a sound I’ll never forget, not until the day I die. It raises the hair on my arms every time I think of it. The horrible scene keeps playing over and over in my head: Violet kneeling on the floor of the nursery, Ryn’s terrified shouts—Get help! Get help now!—me rushing into their bedroom and searching for the nearest mirror, placing an emergency call and not caring who saw my face. Then stumbling downstairs into the kitchen and cloaking myself in the illusion of invisibility as healers rushed into the house. Ryn yelling at them in broken-hearted fury to get out once it became clear they could do nothing for Victoria.

Again, the scene plays through from beginning to end. Again and again and again.

Vi’s been silent since the moment she stopped screaming. I’ve been biting down on my fists, allowing my tears to fall in silence, waiting for the sounds of mourning. Wailing, moaning, crying, something. But I’ve heard nothing.

The silence is worse.

The first voice I hear belongs to Zinnia, Ryn’s mother. I hear Ryn as well, then, and the heart-shattering sound of his sobs. I bite down harder on my fists, relishing the pain as my teeth break the skin. Ryn goes quiet when Flint and Raven arrive. It’s Raven’s turn to cry. Then I hear Jamon, another close friend of Vi and Ryn’s, and lastly Kale, Vi’s dad. I’m supposed to … I should be … But I can’t even contemplate trying to follow him through the faerie paths when he leaves. Not when all I can think of is that tiny, lifeless body upstairs.

No one else arrives. My father should be here too, of course, if the Guild hadn’t arrested him last night. Stupid, hateful people. Don’t they know what’s happened? Don’t they care? But perhaps it’s better that he isn’t here. He and Kale can barely stand to be in the same room these days, and the situation is probably tense enough with both Zinnia and Kale here already. Ryn’s mother and Vi’s father. They were together for a while after The Destruction—something I was too young to notice at the time—but it didn’t last. And now three people who were friends for years, who were all grandparents to Victoria and should be helping each other through this time, can barely stand one another’s presence.

The voices grow louder. Discussions of what could have happened to her and what to do now. I start to wish for the silence again because this—all this chatter—seems irreverent somehow. Clearly I’m not the only one who feels this way, because eventually I hear Ryn’s voice, raised but as brittle as if it’s about to crack. “Everybody. Get. Out.”

The voices quiet, and Zinnia softly says, “Ryn …”

“Get out!” he yells. “I can’t do this now!”

I hear murmurs and the shuffling of feet, and things are almost quiet once more when a voice I don’t recognize says, “Uh, good morning, Mr. Larkenwood. I’m sorry to do this to you, but we’ve received word that your sister, a Guild fugitive, was seen here—”

“GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!”

My body jerks in fright as something crashes against a wall. Something that splinters and rains onto the floor in a thousand tinkling pieces.

Then silence.

More silence.

Eventually I let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding. I force myself to continue breathing as I slowly push myself to my feet. My body aches from sitting in the same position for so long. I quietly step around the kitchen door and look into the living room. Ryn is sitting on the arm of a couch, staring at the floor.

“Ryn?” I say carefully as I take a few steps into the room.

Silence.

I keep walking, as if approaching a dangerous animal. When I reach his side, he continues staring at the floor and says, “I asked everyone to leave, Calla. That includes you.”

“I know … I just …”

His hands clench suddenly into fists on his knees as he grinds out his next words. “I am trying really hard not to remember your part in all this.”

“M-My part?” The beast circles closer. My chest constricts. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this sick.

“We all know who did this, and we all know he’d still be behind bars if you hadn’t let him go free.”

His words are the final crushing blow that force me onto my knees in front of the beast. I’m staring head-on into its fathomless black eyes filled with nothing but the dark, horrible truth of what I’ve done. “Ryn, I’m—I’m so—” My words catch on the tears I’m trying to hold back. “I’m so, so—”

“GO!” he shouts. “I don’t want to feel your guilt! I don’t want to feel anything!”

I end up in the forest, crashing blindly through leaves and vines and over roots and fallen branches, as if I could possibly outrun the monster in my head. But it’s there every step of the way, a shadow I’ll never be rid of, a reminder for the rest of my days of the unspeakable grief I’ve caused.