Roses and Flames

Chapter 2

She knew that what she was doing was absolutely wrong and she could not fall more than she already had although the words she had written were true. But desperate times like this required desperate measures and if she had chance to have a life where she could have her own way and she could be an individual without standing in anyone else’s shadow then so be it. She carefully rolled the note and tied it with a fresh ribbon from her drawer and tied it carefully and securely so as it would not open under any circumstances. Now all she had to do was to keep it safely tucked away from the eyes of the maid and her sister and keep it at the designated place three days from then.

Anastasia had never expected that waiting could be so painful and unbearable that she would be counting the minutes till the third day when she rose at dawn and carefully prepared herself for the early morning adventure. She wrapped a shawl around her covering her head and underneath was wearing a drab gown so that she would be mistaken for a maid if someone accidentally saw her as well. The note was tucked in between her hair and she had a silken chord tied around her waist. Anastasia went down the stairs in her rubber soled slippers as she prowled like a lithe cat with the grace of a dancer. Thankfully everyone was asleep and no one saw her going out of the house. She walked as fast as her legs would carry and climbed up the fence to reach the third branch of the cherry tree which was closer to hand than she had expected and tied the note with the silk chord. As she was getting down from the fence carefully she heard the clopping of the hooves of a horse a little farther down the street, and her hands let go of the fence of their own volition and she fell on the ground with a thud.

She was still on the ground when the rider reached the cherry tree and untied the silken chord and the note and looked at Anastasia. The poor girl could not be any more mortified, and she clambered up as fast as she could and ran back home. While she was getting up she thought she heard something akin to a chuckle in a deep throaty voice. Fortunately, it was the darkest before dawn so the stranger had not seen her neither had anyone.

She was quite jubilant at breakfast that morning and Ambrosia was smiling at her sentences as it was normal. Lord Buchanon was looking at the papers of the morning taking a sip of the Earl Grey while he looked at his daughters giggling over something. His anger from Anastasia’s activities a few days ago had still not dissipated, and neither did the other aristocrats let him forget. His face flushed again at the thought and he dropped the cup on the saucer with such a force that both the girls looked at him in surprise.

He left his seat and said,” I am going to the study and I want Anastasia there within the next five minutes.”

As he strode out of the room loosening his cravat Anastasia looked back at a concerned Ambrosia.

“What did you do now Ana?” asked her twin.

“Why is it that everyone needs to think that it is always my fault Amber? Et tu, sister? I have not done anything that I know of in the past couple of days,” fumed Anastasia as she left the dining table stomping towards the study.

As she entered the library she could see her father pacing up and down the length of the entire room which meant that something was not right at all.

“You wanted to see me Father?” asked Anastasia as softly as she could.

“Yes Anastasia, take a seat,” said the Lord standing before the window and looking outside at the trees changing their colour.

If her Father was using her full name then something was absolutely wrong. What if he had come to know of her brief rendezvous before dawn? Had someone seen her? Anastasia could feel the colour leaving her cheeks in that moment. Everything seemed a bit fuzzy before her eyes when her father spoke once more.

“We had an altercation a few days earlier as far as I recall and then I had asked you to take a decision regarding your nuptials. Have you been able to make your mind up yet?” asked Lord Buchanon, in a no nonsense voice.

“Father is it really necessary to marry me off to someone I have not seen or I do not even know of? This man you told me about is from the Country of Savages, America, that too and I am pretty certain he is never going to understand our culture or my thoughts or desires Father. Moreover their clothes, their language is atrocious just like the men themselves. Why can I not wait until the seasons start? Then you can choose someone for me and…”

“Do you think that you have left any other option at my hand? Do you think after that nonsense you pulled off joining those insufferable women at their rally on the streets publicly, who do you think is going to accept your hand in marriage? Even with your dowry I would not be able to bring any good relations for you, do you even understand what you have done at all? My seat at the House is at stake for your behavior!!” shouted the older man with such viciousness that Anastasia flinched where she was sitting on the chaise.

But before she could say anything her father spoke once more and this time his words were like a death knell for Anastasia.

“You have till tomorrow morning to decide on your actions. If you have not decided by then, I shall be forced to take the decision on your behalf. And remember this Anastasia, you very well know how much I detest hearing a negative answer. You may leave now.”

Anastasia rose from her seat and walked towards the door and left the room. All she could do was not burst in tears as she ran upstairs and collided with Amber who was coming down with her nose buried in another book. The book flew from her hands and landed at the bottom of the stairs making her gasp out but Ana did not bother to look back once.

Ambrosia left the book where it had fallen like an injured soldier and ran after her sister who had reached her room and now was sobbing uncontrollably. Anastasia felt that in her heartache the sun would never shine again and no birdsong would glide through the air as a balm to the injured soul after what her father had just told her.

“What is it Ana? Why are you crying? What did Father say?” asked Ambrosia, as she sat beside her sister who was on her bed lying on her stomach, and her body shook with the sobs that racked through.

But Anastasia was not in a state to answer any question that her sister asked her. She had betrayed her sister as well and she could very well not say that to her whatever might be the circumstances. After a long time when there was just a hollow ache left in place of her tears she sat up and said,” Is it so bad for women to have a voice?”

Amber smiled at her and said,” Sister, you remember what Madame Defarge had said to her husband about revolution?”

Anastasia looked at her with blank expression on her face.

“Oh dear!! Don’t tell me you have forgotten Charles Dickens as well. Tale of Two Cities? Ring any bell?” prompted Ambrosia as Anastasia shook her wiping her nose with her kerchief.

“She had told her husband that when a lightning strikes it can char things within less than a second but how long did he think that it took to make the lightning. What we are seeing is a path of revolution, dear sister and trust me, this is never going to be easy. You all women are fighting against years of thoughts, beliefs and culture of patriarchal superiority. Wipe your tears, wash your face and make yourself presentable now, would you? We are supposed to go for a ride in the park today, do you remember?” asked Ambrosia as she smiled at her distressed sister.

Anastasia remembered that they were supposed to go for a ride to the park with their mother where they were supposed to have picnic and then come back. It was their weekly ritual so that they could spend some time with other women as well of the society and gossip about the latest scandals of the week. Normally Anastasia was usually excited and looked forward to this day with great eagerness but today was not that day. She was waiting for someone else.

“No no how can I forget Amber? It is just that I am not up for it today.. Can you just ask Mother to leave me be for today? I don’t think I would be able to face anyone after what has just gone today morning,” said Anastasia, still sniffling.

“I do understand Ana..but are you sure that a walk in the park would not cheer you up? After all you love to walk in the proximity of birds and the trees and watch them, don’t you?” prompted Amber as she touched the dark brown locks of her sister which had become disheveled.

“I don’t think that I would be able to enjoy anything today at all. Just for today sister, let me be..I ask just this of you,” said Anastasia, taking hold of her sister’s hands in hers.

Amber smiled and said,” It is fine Ana,, just take rest and don’t break down in tears again. I shall tell Polly to bring your lunch upstairs in our absence and that no one bothers you today. Will that be alright?”

“What good have I done to get a sister like you Amber? I wish I could ever explain what and how much you mean to me,” said Ana as she hugged her sister.

“I am not complaining at all that you have grown so open with your emotions with me Ana but really I think you need to rest,” said Ambrosia, who was a bit startled at Ana’s behavior. Her sister who had never ever in their entire life behaved in this manner was suddenly so emotional, which meant truly she was upset about something.

As Ambrosia rose from her side and left the room Anastasia spoke out loud as if speaking to her sister,” Forgive me Ambrosia, please forgive me sister. You would never be able to understand what I have done with you, it is sheer unforgivable but you must know this as well that I have been left with no choice at all.”