One More Night

Prologue Boring. That's the first description I can think of the very first time he marked my neck with his kisses. The saliva coming from his mouth feels so sticky and disgusting that I can't even stop my eyes from rolling. Hindi ako sigurado kung tama bang halik ang tawag sa ginagawa niya sa leeg ko o baka... lumulungad na? "Damn, babe, you taste so good." His sleepy whisper felt wet on my neck as he dragged his lazy lips over my skin. I always am, asshole. Ikaw lang naman ang hindi masarap. Among all the guy I've make out with, you're by far the most boring and dull one. You can't even ignite the fire in me! Considered that I'm under the influence of alcohol, this make out should be as scorching as molten lava. I lifted my feet above the dashboard and let him continue doing his thing that seems to be exciting for him. Making out in the car has always been a thrilling idea for me. The thought that you're doing it inside a close and tight space gives me the excitement. Walang mahahawakan kung hindi ang bintana at ilang parte ng sasakyan. Kapag malala na, sa katawan na lang ng isa't-isa. "I should have met you earlier." His fish lips tickled my neck in short, slow pecks. Sa tuwing gagawin sa akin ang ganoong galaw, hindi ko naiiwasan ang humagikhik. But now, it kind of made me want to bite him. And I shouldn't have met you and provoke you to do this with me. If it's not Maica, my bitchiest friend, who chose you as my consequence because we're playing the spin the bottle, I won't be in this boring situation with you. This stranger was dancing in the floor when Maica pointed him out. I admit that he's handsome and masculine. She wanted me to have a taste of him. Not totally all out but it all depends on me on how I will have my way. Diskarte ko na. I was excited, fine! But the moment we entered his car and he started doing the foreplay, I literally felt sleepy and bored. He has the face and the body but he doesn't have the moves. He was plain lifeless. I bet, women who will dare to date this man will never do it again. He is such a dull companion. I secretly grabbed my phone. Itinapat ko ang screen sa aming dalawa, iyong kita ang paghalik niya sa aking leeg. I raised my middle finger and captured that scene. I checked it out and then send it to Maica through Messenger. Me: Making out with a living dead as of the moment. "Lance," I grunted after shutting my phone down, twisting up my lips as I pushed his hand off my breast. He glanced at me as confusion rolled across his rounded eyes. "I think we're done for the night." Umawang ang labi niya. He let out a humorless chuckle as if he couldn't believe what I have just said. "Done? Are you f*****g kidding me? Kakasimula pa lang natin!" We'd been in his car for almost half an hour -me trying so hard to enjoy his kind of game and him - Hell, I don't even know what he was trying to do. "Kakasimula? Magkakalahating oras na tayo dito sa sasakyan mo pero wala ka pa rin ginagawa. You just keep on licking my neck. Nanglalagkit na ako sa mga laway mo!" Kinuha ko ang pagkakataon na iyon at inayos ang neckline ng suot kong black spaghetti dress. I pulled the hem down and opened the door of his cheap car. "Wait! This is what you call foreplay-" "That is what you call boredom!" I cut him off that made his eyes became even more large. "Thanks for the mundane make out. I didn't enjoy." Isang ngisi pa ang pinakawalan ko bago bumaba at lumabas mula sa kotse niya. Pinara ko ang isang taxi na paparating at sumakay roon. The moment I got inside the car, a breath of relief escaped my throat. Finally. Makakauwi na. I badly want to take a bath and sleep. That man only wasted my time. I don't mind if we would stay in that car for a couple of hours but he should've at least give me the fire I needed. Foreplay, huh? Foreplay my face. "Maharlika Village, Manong." I said to the driver. "Yes, Ma'am." Isinandal ko ang ulo ko sa backrest. I raised my arm and glanced at my gold wristwatch. It's only 11pm. Too early to call it a night but since my mission was a failure, I have no choice but to go home. Ayoko namang bumalik pa sa bar dahil sa nanglalagkit na talaga ako. Mabuti na lang rin at walang trabaho bukas. Tumunog ang cellphone ko. It's a notification from Messenger. Tamad ko itong kinuha mula sa sling bag at iniangat. The light from the screen illuminated my face, making my eyes crinkled a bit. Maica: Hahaha! Daks? Daks? How would I know? We never reach that stage. Kung sa bagay. Wala rin naman akong balak makarating sa ganoon. I make out with men but never did the real deal. Ayoko. Hindi puwede. That would be too much for him. Hindi na ako nag abala pang sumagot. The ride only took us twenty minutes. Nang huminto ang taxi sa harap ng bahay namin ay hindi na napigilan ng puso ko ang pumintig ng mabilis dahil sa presensiya ni Daddy. He's leaning against the steel gate, arms crossed above his chest while staring at my direction. Pakiramdam ko ay nagagawa niya akong makita kahit pa tinted ang salamin ng bintana. "Bayad, Manong. Keep the change." I said and hand him a large amount. Narinig ko pa ang pasasalamat niya pero hindi ko na iyon pinansin. Binuksan ko ang pintuan at lumabas roon. My hair moved with the wind's direction, exposing the side of my neck. Umalis sa pagkakahilig si Daddy at tumuwid ng tayo. Naglakad ako palapit sa kanya. "Hi, Dad." I tiptoed and planted a kiss on his cheek. Matangkad na ako pero mas matangkad pa rin sila ni Mommy sa akin. I'm already 5'8 but when I'm with them, I feel like I'm just five flat. Dad didn't smile back. Instead, he stared at me with his usual dark and intimidating eyes. Napanguso ako. "Where have you been, Tatiana Faith?" he asked, voice deep and low, almost like a growl. "Prayer meeting, Dad-" "Don't go smart on me, young lady." His eyes narrowed and the darkness of it became even more intense. The stern and ruthless demeanor is now back on his face. Dapat ay nasasanay na ako sa ganitong datingan ni Daddy dahil halos buong buhay ko ay palagi ko iyong nakikita. He has different versions of himself but what I admire the most is his authority whenever he faces people and serious situations. He's always been hard and strict when it comes to the people around him, except for his family. Pagdating sa akin ay malambot siya. But in a situation like this, he has no choice but to release his fangs. He's Flavian Follosco after all. The exact definition of a devil in a tux. A shark in the business industry. A notorious playboy... but not anymore ever since he married the fierciest woman I know. "Dad, can we talk about this tomorrow? I'm already tired and sleepy. Promise, I'll wake up early and will prepare my ears for your rants." I smiled cutely at him. Dad suddenly lifted his head and shut his eyes tight, as if it's the only way he can do to refrain himself from breathing fire on me. Huminga siya ng malalim, nagbaba ng tingin at pinaningkitan ako ng mga mata. "Go inside." he said sternly. "Yes, Dad!" Tumalikod ako, hindi maiwasang mapahagikhik. Relieved that I won't hear my father's rants for tonight, a silent groan escaped my throat the moment I opened the main door and stepped my feet into the black marble floor. Mommy's stern and raging face greeted me. She's sitting on the couch, legs crossed together. Nakatuon ang mga mata niya sa TV, hawak ang remote at sunod-sunod na pumipindot dito. When she anchored her eagle-like eyes on me, I couldn't help but to bite my cheek from the inside. He uncrossed her legs and stood up, throwing the remote control over the couch. "Saan ka nanggaling?" Mommy asked, mirroring Dad's eyes awhile ago. "Alam mo ba kung anong oras na, Tate? Gawain pa ba iyan ng matinong babae?" Huminga ako ng malalim at nagtuloy na sa pagpasok. Nilapitan ko siya at astang hahalik ng iiwas niya ang kanyang pisngi. Napanguso ako. Kung kay Daddy ay umuubra pa ako, sa kanya ay hindi na. Paanong uubra? Si Daddy nga ay under sa kanya, ako pa kaya na anak lang? "Mommy naman, I'm already twenty five. Hindi ba ako puwedeng magliwaliw man lang?" tanong ko bago ibinagsak ang sarili paupo sa couch. Nakita ko si Daddy, kakapasok lang ng pintuan. "I'm not stopping you to go out and have some fun! Pero halos araw-araw na lang, Tate! Normal lang sa isang magulang ang mag-alala para sa anak nila lalo na at babae ka pa." mariing sigaw ni Mommy, halos madinig na sa buong bahay. Halos araw-araw? Hindi nga ako nag party kahapon, e. "Where's your car, Tate?" Dad suddenly asked, facing my direction while leaning his shoulder against the wall. I sighed. "Nasa parking lot ng bar, Dad." "Nag-commute ka? Gusto mo ba talagang mapahamak? The reason why we bought you a car even at your early age is for you to avoid commuting. Hindi mo ba alam na mas marami ang rape case ngayon at ang mga biktima ay commuters? Where's your brain, Tatiana Faith?!" gigil na sigaw ni Mommy. "Trinity..." Dad warned but Mommy didn't even shot him a glance. Ang matatalim na mga mata niya ay sa akin lang nakapako. Kinamot ko ang aking sentido. "Kasi naman, Mommy. Bakit hindi niyo pa ako hayaan bumukod para hindi ka na na-i-stress sa akin? I'm already old. I can now handle myself." Her eyes became sharper like a thorn in a full bloomed rose. "Para ano? Para magawa mo na iyang mga gusto mo? Ang umuwi ng dis oras ng gabi at lasing? Kababae mong tao puro party ang inaatupag mo. Daig ka pa ng kuya mo!" Bakit, nagtatrabaho naman ako, ah. Tumutulong ako sa kanila ni Kuya at Daddy pagdating sa kumpanya. Killjoy talaga itong si Mommy, parang hindi gawain noong panahon nila ni Daddy. "How did you know that Kuya Tobias is better than me, Mommy? May sariling bahay na iyon. Malay niyo may ka-s*x na iyon sa-" "Tatiana!" Dad's thunderous voice boomed all over the house. "My God, Flavian! Look at the way your daughter speak! Kasalanan mo iyan, masiyado mo kasing inispoiled!" nanglilisik ang mga mata ni Mommy habang nakatingin kay Daddy. Dad's lips was a bit separated. Para bang nagtataka siya na sa kanya naman ngayon natuon ang galit ni Mommy. "My fault?" Dad asked, a bit surprised. "How did it become my fault?" "Sinabi ko na sa'yo na huwag mong ibinibigay lagi ang gusto niyan. Kita mo na kinalabasan! Gosh. Kung alam ko lang na magiging ganyan kasutil iyang bunso mo, sana ay ipinahid mo na lang siya sa tissue!" "Trinity, your mouth!" Dad warned, his face expression laced with bewilderment. Maging ako ay nagulantang sa sinabi ni Mommy na ngayon ay paakyat na ng hagdan. She didn't look at us like she's really pissed. Nagkatinginan kami ni Daddy. Pilit kong pinipigilan ang sarili ko na humalakhak dahil sa nakikitang pamumula ng leeg niya. He shook his head, a ghost of smirk was already plastered on his lips. "Your mother is really vulgar and naughty most of the time. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nagtataka pa siya kung bakit ka ganiyan, nagmana ka lang naman sa kanya." naiiling na aniya na ikinatawa ko. "Hind sa'yo, Dad?" He chuckled. "Well, mix.." Mas lalo akong natawa. Naglakad siya palapit sa akin at hinalikan ako sa ulo. "Listen to your mother, Tate. She knows what is best for you. Go to your room and have some rest now," he slouched a bit and kissed me on the forehead. "Goodnight, my bad ass daughter. Prepare your ears for another rants tomorrow." "Good night, Dad. Make sure there's a box of tissue beside you." I winked. A bark of laughter arises from his throat. "Silly." Sinundan ko ng tingin si Daddy habang papaakyat na siya ng hagdan. I leaned my nape against the head rest and breathed a sigh. Naiintindihan ko naman ang punto ni Mommy. Alam kong nagaalala lang siya sa akin. Hindi ako nagrerebeldo. Masaya lang talaga ako sa ganitong klase ng lifestyle. I love to party as much as I love to be with my friends. They're my breath of fresh air after stressing myself to work. I love making out with strangers because that's how I can find the contentment and satisfaction I've been looking for a long time. I'm happy with what I am doing and I think that's what important. My phone rang that cut my train of thoughts. Tamad kong inabot ang sling bag ko at kinuha ang cellphone. A lazy sigh escaped my chest when I saw who the caller is. "Cade..." I greeted, trying my best to make my tone energetic even if it's feeling the other way around. "How's the prayer activity you attended?" Prayer activity... the usual alibi I'm using whenever I want to party with my friends. Kapag nagpaalam kasi ako sa kanya at sinabi ang totoo kong rason ng paglabas ko, siguradong hindi niya ako papayagan. He's to possesive in a way that I can almost feel a chain around my neck. He keeps on telling me that he trust me but why can't I feel it? Bakit hindi ako puwedeng gumalaw ng malaya at wala siya? Bakit kailangan na lagi kaming magkasama? "It's fine." I lied. "Did you have fun?" "I did..." "That's great," he breathed. "I miss you, Tate." Mahina akong nagpakawala ng buntong hininga. Cade and I have been in a relationship for three years now. He's my brother's business colleague and we met during a ball. We have a smooth relationship during our first year. Nasasakyan namin ang trip ng bawat isa. We seldom fight and we always have a solution to each and every problem we were facing. In short... we have an almost perfect relationship. Ngunit habang tumatagal, ang pagkasabik ay unti-unting nawawala, ang tamis ay napapalitan ng pait, at ang pagmamahal ay napapalitan ng... pananawa. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko matukoy sa kung sa paanong dahilan nauwi sa ganito ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. He's almost perfect in every aspect. Walang tulak-kabigin. I just sense that I'm slowly letting go. I'm growing less in love with him every single day. And it's the most difficult thing about losing someone you've loved, the way you feel never really dies all at once. All you can do is wait and watch it fade away one day at a time. At this point, I'm still hoping that every pieces of what I have for him before will still fall back into its places. It's the reason why I'm not ending this relationship between us. Umaasa pa rin ako na muli kong mararamdaman iyong emosyon na una kong naramdaman nang makilala ko siya. Sana. "I... I m-miss you, Cade."