Changes

Chapter 4

Chapter 4I awoke a few hours later with the urge to pee and as I was wandering through to the toilet I heard the fridge opening and closing. I paused by the other bedroom, Sigrid wasn’t in bed and I continued on to the toilet to do my business. After I’d finished I stepped into the bathroom and washed my hands. I was wearing a silk night shirt and shorts, she’d been wearing an oversized white shirt and I resolved to sort out her ‘blonde moment.’

Sigrid was still in the kitchen, she was sitting at the breakfast bar with a glass of orange cordial.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” she murmured.

“You didn’t,” I took the concentrate from the fridge, “my bladder woke me.”

“Ah that would wake me too,” Sigrid replied.

“Tell me about it,” I poured some cordial into the glass, “I wish I had stronger bladder control,” I flicked the tap and filled the glass.

“One of my ex boyfriends had amazing bladder control. Stephen used to lie in bed with his c**k rock hard and say he had to piss,” I leaned on the other side of the breakfast bar.

“So I’d say, okay go to the shithouse and he’d lie there for like half an hour or more.”

“Well it does stay harder that way.”

“I know but he’d just lie there and lie there and eventually I’d turn round and say are you going for a piss or not because if you piss the bed you wash the bloody sheet. It used to drive me nuts because you could see he was busting to go,” I sipped my drink.

“Eventually I managed to work out that he was too frightened of pissing on the wall because Percy was pointing at the ceiling.”

Sigrid broke out laughing and grabbed my hand. I chuckled and turned my head and for a moment I had the urge to kiss her and this time Sigrid read the signs and stopped laughing. Both of us stared at each other and then the moment passed and then we looked away.

Sigrid released my hand and exhaled. “That was close.”

“Sorry, that one was my fault.”

“It happens, we’re only human,” Sigrid replied.

I closed my eyes and tried to find the words, I’d skirted around the elephant in the room and it had nearly knocked me out.

“About that,” we both started together and stopped.

“My blonde moment,” Sigrid finished for me, “it bothered me.”

“Look, it was a mistake, it happens. You’re gay, I’m straight, you like women, I like men. I can understand sometimes you’ll just forget.”

“That’s what I need to talk about,” Sigrid sighed.

I opened my mouth to reply and shut it again when she continued.

“We need to lay down rules, but there’s something I need to say about that and don’t misunderstand me. I love you in a different way but three years ago I had a straight friend, Helen. She wasn’t as close to me as you are but we kind of hung out together, she was my straight girlfriend and I was actively dating but not in a serious relationship.”

“What happened?”

“One night we smoked a bit of weed. One of my gay friends had given me a gram and Helen and I smoked it. We got on together that night, I don’t know if it was the weed, the fact she was curious or both but it got messy because she was with a guy. She ended up breaking up with him and it killed our friendship because in the end she blamed me for the whole thing.”

“Okay,” I folded my hands together, “so what do we do? I like seeing you but I don’t want that to happen to our friendship.”

“We need rules,” she studied me, “like keeping a lid on physical affection, a little hug now and then is okay but I don’t want it to go further than that.”

“What about sleeping over?”

“That’s fine, we seem to be coping with that and it’d just be too hard. I like spending time here and it’s great you can stay at my house but the physical affection can be hard for me. Sometimes you just hug me without warning and I have to check myself, although you haven’t done it lately. I’m very tactile, so it’s hard for me as well but we need to watch that because if we’re tipsy and start hugging I might forget.”

“Agreed,” I took her chin between my thumb and forefinger, “this is not a gay kiss,” I leaned over and kissed her firmly but quickly on the forehead.

“Now that we’ve sorted that out, I’m off to bed, alone.”

I thought about that conversation as I was propped on my elbow drinking the rest of my cordial. I’d done pretty well I mused. Cathy would be proud of me.

Little did I know that Sigrid’s late night confession and my ‘non gay’ kiss were stones in the pond casting ripples outwards.