The Fortress Island Series 2: Romano, Can't We Try

FIFTEEN: MINE

Mira’s POV

Malalakas na katok sa pinto ang nagpabalikwas sa pagkakahiga ko sa sofa. Wala pa atang kinse minutos ang nakalipas buhat nang umalis si Romano. Did he forget something? But Romano would always punch the door code every time he came home.

Tinakbo ko ang main door dahil sa patuloy na pagkalabog ng kung sino man. Hindi na ako nag-abala pang sumilip sa peephole. Ang pawising mukha ni Krizette ang bumungad sa akin. Naghahabol pa ito ng hininga at hawak-hawak ang dibdib.

“Mira….” Hingal nito.

“Anong nangyari sa’yo?” Nilakihan ko ang bukas sa pintuan para makapasok ito.

“Bakit hindi kita matawagan?!” Pagalit ang kanyang tono.

“I turned off the phone pagkatapos nating mag-usap. Tara muna sa kusina nang makainom ka muna ng tubig.” Aya ko pa.

Pero ganun na lang ang gulat ko nang bigla ako nitong hinila sa aking palapulsuhan.

“Wala nang oras, Mira! Kailangan na nating umalis ngayon din!”

“Anong pinagsasabi mo?” Naguluhan ako sa kanya. Pinagmasdan kong maigi ang kanyang mukha. Balisa ito. She looked worried and scared.

Nanginig ang kamay nito habang hinuhugot ang cellphone sa bulsa ng kanyang pantalon. “Nabanggit ko sa’yo kanina na pinapahanap ka ni Romano, di ba? A group of men went to our house and forced me to give your mobile number. Pero nagsinungaling ako na wala kang cellphone dahil nasira iyon. Dahil kung ang numero mo ang ibibigay ko sa kanila, malalaman ni Romano ang katotohanan. He has your number. Binalaan ako ng grupo ni Franco na wag iwasan ang lalake at kailangan nating tuparin kung ano man ang hihilingin nito. Pero Mira….” She paused to gasp some air. “Hindi ko akalain na ngayon ding gabi gustong makipagkita ni Romano. Look at our text conversation. Romano thought I was the woman he was looking for. Hindi ko na magawang maipasubali iyon.” Binigay nito ang cellphone sa akin. “He tried to call but I declined. Malakas ang kutob kong makikilala ni Romano ang boses ko. Malalaman niyang nagpapanggap akong ikaw.”

I could hear the loud beating of my heart in my ears. Binasa ko ang text messages ng dalawa at napapasinghap na lamang ako. Sumakit ang ulo ko at pakiramdam ko’y nagdidilim ang aking paningin. Binigay ko ulit ang cellphone kay Krizette at pinili kong umupo sa sofa habang yakap-yakap ang sarili. Bigla akong nanlamig.

Romano left because he was about to meet someone….and that someone was….me.

Pasalampak na naupo si Krizette sa aking tabi. “We have no choice, Mira. Hindi natin ito malulusutan. In fact, nasa baba ang van ng Mafia, Mira. Hinihintay nila tayo. Sila ang magdadala sa atin sa hotel.”

Nangatal ang labi ko pero gayunpaman ay tumango ako. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang aking nararamdaman. Pinaghalong kaba at nerbiyos, takot at pangamba. Pero higit sa lahat, I felt…guilty. Labag sa loob ko ang patuloy na lokohin si Romano. He saved me and my cousin. Hindi nito deserve ang lokohin sa ganitong paraan. Ang lokohin ng paulit-ulit.

I was startled when Kriz grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

“Wag mong pilitin ang sarili mo, Mira. Hindi mo kailangan harapin ulit ang lalake. I will be the one to face him. Let’s switch places.”

“No!” Mabilis pa sa kidlat na sagot ko. There’s no way I would let that happen!

Her brows furrowed. “Why not? Hindi ka ba natatakot sa maaari niyang gawin sa’yo? He will surely force you to have s*x with him!”

“I’m not scared of him, Kriz. Mabuting tao si Romano.”

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous, Mira?”

“Hindi ganun, Krizette!” There was no way I was jealous! Why on earth would I? “It’s just doesn’t seem right. Romano isn’t dumb. He would know the differences. Magkaiba ang hubog ng ating katawan, Kriz. At kahit pa magsuot ka ng mask, he would still know. You’re voluptuous and I am not. Anong magiging reaksiyon ni Romano kapag nalaman niyang hindi ikaw ang babaeng hinahanap niya? He would blame the Mafia! And I’m sure the Mafia won’t like it. The Mafia will haunt us down and won’t hesitate to kill us this time!”

Deep inside me, hindi lang iyon ang rason kung bakit tutol ako sa plano ni Krizette. Romano…. even just for one night…he had been mine. Even in that brief moment of illusion, we belonged to each other. Those moments were mine to keep.

I could not even dare to think that Krizette would be meeting Romano in my place. And what if Romano failed to notice our differences? Were they going to touch? Were they going to have s*x?

Umalon ang aking tiyan. Hindi. Hindi ako papayag.

Tumunog ang cellphone ni Krizette. Sumulyap muna ito sa akin bago sinagot ang tawag. Nakinig muna ito sa kausap bago tumango.

“Bigyan mo ako ng sampung minuto. Bababa din agad kami ng pinsan ko. Nangangako akong hindi kami tatakas.” Ani nito. She held my hand tighter this time.

Nang matapos ang tawag na iyon ay tumayo ako, bakas ang determinasyon sa aking mukha. Hinarap ko si Krizette.

“It’s fine, Kriz. Haharapin ko ulit si Romano.”

She clenched her jaw. “He wants you naked, damn it!”

“So be it! Wala naman na akong maitatago pa sa kanya, Kriz. If he wants my body again, ibibigay ko iyon ng paulit-ulit! He didn’t hurt me and I’m sure he will never hurt me. I trust him. In fact, he saved me, Kriz. And you know it. Sobrang sapat na dahilan na iyon para ibigay ko sa kanya ang kanyang gustong makuha sa akin. Pero malakas ang pakiramdam kong mahuhuli niya ako ngayong gabi. He will know it’s me. Sa boses ko pa lang, halata na. At kung dumating ang oras na iyon, luluhod ako sa kanyang harapan para humingi ng kapatawaran. Romano doesn’t deserve this. Pareho kaming biktima ng pagkakataon. Both of us had no choice that time. No, actually, I should be the one to take the blame. I begged him. I begged him to have s*x with me because I can’t, for the life of me, imagine someone else touching me!” Gumaralgal ang boses ko. My throat burned from suppressing my sobs.

Krizette covered her mouth using the back of her palm. Like me, she was sobbing too.

“Mira…. you…. you’ve changed….”

Umiling ako. “I grew up, Kriz. That night, I accepted reality. Kahit anong gawin ko, hindi ko na maibabalik pa ang nawala sa akin. Isang bagay lang ang naipagpasalamat ko sa Diyos. Na sa kabila ng takot at pangamba na baka iyon na ang huling araw ng buhay ko, nandun si Romano. And he did not just make that night worthwhile, he also made me happy. He saved me.”

“You’re in love with him.” It was a statement from Kriz.

Kung sa ibang pagkakataon ay baka pinabulaanan ko ang pahayag nito, pero hindi ko iyon magawa. I sighed. “I don’t know, Kriz. Maybe or maybe not. Ang alam ko lang, malaki ang utang na loob ko sa taong yun. And he deserves to know how much I owe him. His music saved me from sadness seven years ago. And that night, he saved me again. I am beholden to him and the fact he doesn’t even aware about it makes me feel bad. Niloloko ko siya. I lied to him.”

“Mira, wala kang utang na loob sa kanya.”

“Anong wala, Kriz? Nakalimutan mo na? Hindi siya nagdalawang-isip na ibigay ang tatlong buwang sweldo ko para pantubos ng bahay at lupa.”

“Katawan mo naman ang hinihingi niyang kapalit!”

“Hindi niya alam! Sa tingin mo kung alam niyang ako yung babae na yun, papatulan niya ako? Tinitiyak ko sa’yo na kahit dampi sa daliri ay hindi niya gagawin sa akin iyon! But I persuaded him! I begged him! Kasi kung hindi siya, mas gugustuhin ko pa ang mamatay sa oras na yun, Kriz!”

“Pero ano ang rason niya bakit pinahanap ka niya, Mira? Is he planning to make you, his prostitute? Gagawin ka ba niyang parausan?!”

Humikbi ako sa aking palad. “Sasabihin ko ang totoo sa kanya. Tiyak akong magagalit siya, but if I choose to continue this unacceptable scheme, he will hate me, Kriz. At ayokong mangyari iyon. I like Romano. There is really something special about him. Even when he’s being an ass sometimes, I know deep in my heart, he’s kind and loving person. I will grovel on his feet if I must until he forgives me.”

Krizette wiped her tears as she heaved a deep sigh. “Okay. Kung yang ang desisyon mo, Mira, wala akong magagawa.” She pulled me to embrace. Ilang minuto kaming nag-iyakan hanggang sa unti-unting humupa ang aming mga hikbi.

“We need to leave now. Promise me you’ll be fine.”

I gave her a reassuring smile. “I will be.” It’s Romano. Why would I be in danger if the man who’s going to hold me tonight was my savior himself?

********

The door creaked open.

My heart was threatening to burst forth from my ribcage as Romano’s silhouette sliced through the eerie darkness of the hotel bedroom. Just watching him calmly walked into the room was hurting my eyes, tears were starting to roll down my cheeks.

The need to get out of bed and run into him and tell him everything was too strong it made me tremble. How I wished it were that easy.

I felt cold when I was alone but now that he’s in the picture, so masculine and male, warmth spread all over my body. I could smell the faint scent of his expensive perfume and it only ignited the fire within me.

Hindi ko akalain na may kakayahan akong makaramdam ng pagnanasa. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that I could feel desire and lust towards him. I thought I was a woman who wasn’t capable of feeling pleasure. But that night, Romano made me feel I was the most desirable woman he had ever laid his eyes upon. And even though it was a night full of lies and pretense, what I felt for him was real. At some point, I wanted to scream how much he meant to me.

I pressed a button na siyang nagpahiwalay sa kurtina. Ang sinag ng buwan ang siyang tanging nagpaliwanag sa buong silid. Kumagat-labi ako nang tumunghay si Romano sa akin. Nanunuot sa aking buto’t kalamnan ang kanyang mga titig.

I was naked on the bed and the only thing that I wore was make-up and the mask. The same mask that I wore that night. I have kept it.

I swallowed hard when he started to remove his clothes. I could tell he was shaking. I, on the other hand, couldn’t wait to feel the warmth of his skin against mine.

“Open your legs for me.” Malamig na utos nito.

Nahihiya man, I did what I was told.

“Wider.”

Kumagat-labi ako. I separated my legs wider I could feel the coldness of the air tingling the sensitive spot between my legs.

He stood completely naked at the edge of the bed. “Tell me your real name. I can’t call you babe anymore. I have my own babe at home.”

Napalunok ako. A smile wanted to break on my lips, but I held back. I bit my inside cheek instead.

“Cat got your tongue? You’ve been unusually quiet tonight.”

I wanted to respond, but this would be over the moment I spoke. Romano would surely recognize my voice. He ain’t dumb. But then again, muting myself for the entire night would be impossible.

I opened my mouth to speak but disrupted by the sound of his phone ringing.

“Spare me a second.” Ani nito at bahagyang tumalikod sa akin.

Wala sa loob na hinila ko ang kumot para takpan ang aking kahubdan.  Ang mga mata ko’y nakatuon lamang sa kanya.

“Huh? Bakit mo sa akin hinahanap? Wala ako sa bahay.”

“I will try to call her, Matt. Why don’t you go down and ask the security guards. Baka napansin nilang lumabas ng building si Mira.”

Matt was calling him? Were they looking for me? s**t. I forgot to check my phone before going up here. Hindi ko nabasa ang mga mensahe ni Matt. I should have replied to him and lied about my whereabouts para hindi ito maghanap sa akin. Now that Romano knew I was missing, I had no idea how I would be able to get out from this.

“What the hell, grandma? Where on earth are you?” I heard Romano muttered under his breath. He sounded angry but worried at the same time.

Was I making him worried? Warmth crawled into my heart. When he faced me, I almost choked a sob. There was no denying that he’s concerned about me. The distress on his face was something you couldn’t miss. Nagmamadali din ito sa pagbihis.

. “I’m sorry. I’m afraid I can’t spend time with you tonight. Something important came up.”

Important. Was I really that important to him? Did I really matter to him?

“Please get dress, or if you want, you can spend the night here. Order any food you like. I will pay everything.” He spoke without glancing at me. His whole attention that was meant for me was now gone.

Tears welled my eyes. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was not a liar. I couldn’t pretend anymore that I was somebody else. I hated the fact that I played him. Malalaman at malalaman din nito ang katotohanan, bakit ko pa papatagalin ang pagtatago?

I swallowed as I opened my mouth to speak. “Romano.”

My voice came out like a whisper, but it was loud enough to catch his attention. Natigilan ito at nilingon ako. Salubong ang kanyang mga kilay.

I literally held my breath as I held the edge of the mask and pulled it off my face. Tears started streaming down my cheeks. I clutched the duvet tighter around me.

Romano made a loud gasp. “Putangina.” Malutong na mura nito na halos tumagos sa buto ko.

“What the f**k, Mirasol! What the f**k!”

I squeaked when he jumped on me, straddling. Hinawakan nito ang magkabilang balikat ko at gusto kong humiyaw sa pagkakadiin ng mga kamay niya sa akin.

“What the f**k!” He yelled kasabay ng kanyang pagyugyog sa aking balikat.

Panay lamang ang hikbi ko. “I’m sorry.”

“Tangina, Mira. What the f**k are you doing here?! Why are you—holy s**t!”

Umalis ito sa ibabaw ko at tumayo sa dulo ng kama. He walked back and forth and seemed so lost. He was trying to understand the whole situation. His right fist planted on his hip while the other was on his forehead.

“I want to explain.” Garalgal na boses na wika ko.

Matalim na tinitigan ako nito. Nagtagis ang kanyang bagang. “You f*****g fooled me.”

“Hindi ganun, Romano.”

“Anong hindi? Tangina. That night, you should have told me it was you!”

“I couldn’t! Gustong-gusto kong sabihin ang totoo pero natakot ako. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin nila sa amin ng pinsan ko kung nagkataong sinabi ko sa’yo ang katotohanan. Hindi nila kami hahayaang makalabas dito ng buhay, Romano. If you did not…if you did not do what you did to me that night…. tiyak akong ipapasa nila ako sa iba.”

“The hell I will let that happen, Mira!” He shouted. “If I had known that it was you, tinitiyak ko sa’yong lalabas ako sa pub house na iyon na kasama ka! Paano ka napunta sa w***e house na yun?”

Suminghap ako at tinupi ang mga tuhod. Niyakap ko ang aking sarili habang binabalikan ang pangyayari.

“Nagkamali lang si Krizette ng pinasukang trabaho. Hindi niya alam na ang organizer na kumuha sa kanya ay parte pala ng illegal na organisasyon. Inaayusan ko si Krizette sa bahay nang bigla nalang dumating ang grupo ng armadong kalalakihan. They were there to fetch Krizette at nang makita nilang may ibang tao doon ay dinamay nila ako. Hinila nila kami sa buhok pero nanlaban kami. Kaso, sinikmuraan kaming pareho ni Krizette kaya wala na kaming lakas. Pagdating sa pub house, dinala nila kami sa isang kwarto. Puno iyon ng mga kagamitang pampaganda. Make-up, mga damit, even contact lenses were available.” I paused to breathe. “May iba pa kaming mga kasama pero hindi kami makapag-usap ng maayos dahil bantay-sarado kami ng mga taong yun.”

“Paano ka napunta sa silid na yun, Mira? Di you know I was coming?” His cold demeanor sent me to the edge. Halata sa tanong niya ang kawalan ng tiwala sa akin.

Humikbi ako. “Labag man sa kalooban namin ay sinunod namin ang kanilang utos. Gumayak kami, nagpaganda. I wore contact lenses for the first time. Then pumasok sa kwarto ang boss nila. Nagpakilala itong si Franco. Pinahilera kami sa kanyang harap.”

“f**k. Tell me he didn’t touch you, Mirasol! Tell me!” Dark aura emanating from his furious appearance gave me chills. His eyes narrowed and turned into slits.

Umiling ako. “He did not, Romano. He chose me to be your gift. He told me he would send me to Romano Salvatore. And that I should address you as Mr. Salvatore. Wala akong ideya na ikaw pala yun. He told me that if I failed….”

“What do you mean?”

“If I failed to seduce you…kung hindi mo ako gagalawin, kung hindi ka mag-e-enjoy sa regalo niya…he said…” Nagtakip ako ng mukha at umiyak sa aking palad.

“What did he say!”

“He said he would throw me to his goons who were practically waiting for their piece of meat.”

“Tangina! I will kill that sonofabitch!” He was about to approach the door, but I immediately jumped out of bed to stop him.

Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa akin at basta na lamang nangunyapit sa kanyang leeg at binaon ang mukha sa kanyang dibdib. Nilukob ng takot ang dibdib ko. Wala siyang ideya kung gaano ka-delikado na tao si Franco at mga tauhan nito! Hindi sila magdadalawang-isip na saktan ang lalake! At hindi ako papayag na may mangyaring masama sa kanya ng dahil sa akin!

“What are you doing, Mira?” He whispered.

“Don’t go. Don’t come near them, Romano. They’re dangerous.” Nangatal ang labi ko at mas lalong humigpit ang yakap sa kanya.

Romano stood frozen. He didn’t move until I felt his strong arms snaked around my waist.

He groaned. “Babe, you are naked.”

“I don’t care. Don’t go. Stay here. Stay with me.”

Romano buried his face on my hair, inhaling my scent. “This is dangerous, babe.”

“Romano…” Tiningala ko ito. Ang mga mata ko’y nangungusap. “For one last time, please…own me. I promise, after tonight, I will be back to my old self. I’ll be back to a handful grandma you like to tease and annoy. I will forget everything that happened between us in this room and in the pub house.”

Romano’s breathing hitched as he raked his eyes on me. Sobrang lakas ng t***k ng puso ko habang naghihintay sa kanyang hakbang.

His gaze pierced mine then he leaned forward and softly kissed my lips, bit and licked them.

“You taste good.” He whispered. “But I’m afraid I have to refuse your offer, Mira. You’re more than just a f**k. You’re important to me. Forget everything what happened between us, and I will do the same. Please, while I’m still sane…” He gulped down. “…. get dress. I will wait for you outside the door.”

He let me go at tuluyan itong lumabas sa kwarto. Yakap ko ang sarili habang nakayuko. I was happy he chose to respect me, but I was kind of upset that he rejected my offer.

Ganunpaman ay tumalima ako sa kabila ng bigat na nararamdaman. Nagbihis ako at pagkatapos ay naghilamos para matanggal ang light make-up na nilagay ko sa mukha kanina. I also removed the contact lenses and threw them to the rubbish bin. I vowed not to wear contacts anymore. I wore my eyeglasses at suminghap ng malalim.

Makakalimutan ko rin ang lahat ng nangyari ngayong gabi… I would shove the thoughts to the farthest side of my brain. Hindi ko rin papansinsin ang sakit sa dibdib.

Hindi ko iibigin si Romano.

Nang makalabas ako sa kwarto, nakapamulsa si Romano habang nakatanaw sa malayo. Nang magtagpo ang mga tingin namin, he blinked.

“I like you better with that.” He referred to my nerdy appearance.

I gave him a small smile. “Me too.”

He stretched his arm and tugged my hand as we walked toward the lift. Ngunit sa pagliko namin sa kanang hallway, our steps were halted nang makasalubong namin ang nakangising mukha ni Franco.

“Salvatore.” He inclined his head a little.

Romano squeezed my hand before he let go of it. Ang sunod niyang ginawa ang hindi ko inaasahan. Inilang hakbang lang nito ang distansiya mula kay Franco at sinuntok ang lalake sa panga.

Franco was taken aback and didn’t see that one coming. Pero halatang sanay sa suntukan ito dahil mukha ang napiling sa gilid., He didn’t not even faze.

“You f*****g asshole! Stay away from her and her cousin! Leave them alone!” Hiyaw ni Romano.

Kumalabog ang dibdib ko. Hinawakan ko ang kanyang braso at hinila. “Romano, please uwi na tayo.”

Franco scoffed, a smirk tugging at the end of his lips. “This is interesting, Salvatore.”

Romano grabbed him by the collar. “Don’t you dare touch her again, Franco. She’s mine.” He warned using his dangerous tone.

Franco grinned and pulled himself away. “I see you like my gift, huh. By all means, young Salvatore. She’s all yours.” Franco glanced at me, his eyes dancing with malice.

Romano held my hand as we walked past Franco. Malalaki ang mga hakbang namin hanggang sa makarating kami sa lift. Nang makapasok doon, saka pa lang ako nakahinga ng maluwag. My eyes landed at our intertwined fingers. Romano’s hold was tight, and he maybe wasn’t aware that he’s still holding me as if I’d be disappeared from his touch.

**********

Hindi ako makatulog. Isang oras na akong pabaling-baling sa aking higaan. Sa buong durasyon ng biyahe namin pauwi ay wala na kaming kibuan ni Romano. Pagdating dito sa bahay ay pumasok ito agad sa kanyang silid.

Bumalik sa isipan ko ang nangyari kanina. Ngayon ko lang nabatid kung gaano ka nakakahiya ang ginawa ko. Hindi ko alam saan ako kukuha ng kapal ng mukha para humarap ulit sa kanya. Wala na akong maitatago pa kay Romano. He had seen me all in my naked glory, he had seen me at my lowest. Ang kakaunting confidence ko sa sarili ay tuluyang nilipad na ng hangin.

I silently wiped my tears away. I wanted to forget everything but a part of me didn’t want to. Ang gabing iyon ay maituturing kong pinaka-espesyal na bahagi ng buhay ko.

Bumukas ang pintuan ng aking silid. Romano’s eyes met mine. He’s wearing a plain white shirt and cotton pants.

“Do you need anything?” I asked.

Hindi ito sumagot at nagpatuloy sa paglalakad putungo sa kama. He rounded to the side and laid down beside me. I was surprised at his action.

“What are you doing?”

Romano tapped his shoulder. “Come here.”

“Pero Romano….” Hindi na ako nakatanggi dahil siya na mismo ang humila sa akin. My body molded and pressed on his side perfectly like it was meant to be.

“I will be your human pillow from now on.” He uttered.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” He sighed. “That night, did I hurt you?”

I pressed my cheek against his chest. “No. You were gentle.”

“Did you enjoy it? Because I did, babe.”

Kumagat-labi ako at tiningala ito. “Akala ko ba ay hindi na natin pag-uusapan ang nangyari, Romano.”

“Hmm….”

“I’m sorry again, Romano. Wag kang magalit sa akin.”

“There’s no point getting mad now that I’m holding you.” Tumagilid ito at ang mukha naman nito ang ibinaon sa aking leeg. His hand went to cup my breast, sa gulat ko.

“You’re not wearing bra. That’s more I like it.” He murmured sleepily. “Sleep now, grandma. I’m here now. You’re safe with me. No more tears, please.”

How would I sleep when he kept on kneading my breast? This man. But him, lying beside me was indeed making me feel safe.

Romano…what am I going to do with you?