“WHAT? Sa bahay ng employer ka titira? And this employer of yours is a man?! Are you out of your freaking mind!” Gigil na sambit ni Krizette. Sinalat niya ang aking noo. “Nilalagnat ka na naman ba at kung ano-ano na lang ang pinagsasabi mo?”
I sighed internally. Marahan kong pinalis ang kanyang kamay sa aking mukha. “Wala akong sakit, Kriz.”
“Hindi. May sakit ka. Siguro ay kinumbulsiyon ka na naman. Dahil kung malinaw ang pag-iisip mo ngayon, tiyak akong hindi ka papayag sa ganitong set-up, Mira. Hindi ka ganito mag-isip. Hindi mo ipapahamak ang sarili mo.”
“Hindi ako mapapahamak, okay?”
“Paano mo natitiyak? Kilala mo bang mabuti ang employer na’to? Paano mo ako makukumbinsi na mabuting tao at walang hinahangad na masama ang employer na’to, aber? At kailan ka pa natutong magtiwala sa iba? You’re always the pessimistic one. What happened?”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Kriz, look at me carefully. Sa tingin mo may papatol sa hitsura kong ‘to?”
“Girl, ano pa man ang hitsura mo, babae ka pa rin. Paano kung drug lord o di kaya drug user ang employer na sinasabi mo? When they’re high, they tend to become crazy. Para namang di mo alam ang takbo ng utak ng mga yan, couz. Take for example our neighbor who raped a minor? Que horror!”
I frustratingly shut my eyes tightly. Pessimistic daw ako? E paano na lang kaya siya? “Bago ako pumayag ay tiniyak ko munang safe ako sa kanya.”
She sighed. “You don’t understand, Mira. Yang panlabas na anyo mo na yan, proteksiyon mo yan sa ibang taong mapagsamantala pero kapag tuluyan mo nang hinubad ang maskara, tiyak akong pagkakaguluhan ka nila.”
Kumunot ang noo ko. “Ano bang pinagsasabi mo? Anong maskara.”
“Ang sinasabi ko, once your boss gets to see the real you, your true beauty, the beauty you try so hard to hide, he might do things that may inflict damage on you.”
“Anong true beauty pinagsasabi mo?” Tumawa ako. “Ikaw ata itong kinukumbulsiyon, pinsan.”
Patuloy ako sa pagtawa pero nang muli ko itong tinapunan ng tingin, I clamped my mouth. She looked deadly serious.
“Do you think I’m being funny here, Mirasol? Do you want me to refresh your memory?”
Yikes! Mirasol! “That’s the point. There’s nothing to refresh, Krizette, because I still have no recollection of what happened. I have forgotten the recent memories I had before that road accident.”
She sighed; her eyes became gloomy. “Ang laki ng pinagbago mo mula nang mangyari yun. You lost the confidence you once had.”
“I was born timid and preserve, Kriz. Nakalimutan mo ata kung paano ka naiinis sa akin noon dahil sa pigging tahimik ko. I was born an introvert.”
Umiling ito. “Pero unti-unting nagbago ang iyong personalidad. You mentioned once that you met someone during summer break. I could still remember how bright your eyes were and how flustered you were when you talked about that certain friend of yours. Sabi mo pa nga sa akin na siya ang first kiss mo.” Her lips curled up.
I gave her a sad smile. “At fifteen, I had my first kiss. OMG.” I felt giddy thinking about it.
“You couldn’t stop talking about him. Sabi mo pa nga ay napakagwapo niya.”
I swallowed then sighed. “Kasama siyang nabura sa aking alaala, Kriz. Siguro ay masaya na siya kung saan siya ngayon. Matagal nang nangyari yun. Hindi na ako aasa pa na babalik ang nawala kong memorya. Masaya at kontento na ako sa mga natira. I was so glad I didn’t lose my memories with my father. My memories with you and Tiya. Okay na ako dun. Okay na ako, Kriz. Tsaka fifteen pa lang ako noon, Kriz. I was too young.”
She hung her head low. Pinili na lamang nito ang hindi kumibo.
“Kriz?” I reached her hand and pressed gently.
She averted her eyes on me. “It’s been seven years since that fateful night, Mira. Hindi ka na ba binabangungot ng nakaraan?”
Napatagil ako at bahagyang napaisip. When did I last had a bad dream? “Hindi ko na matandaan, Kriz.”
“I could still remember those nights when I woke up from your screams. It broke my heart every time you had nightmares, Mira.”
I scooted closer to her and rested my head on her shoulders. “Thank you, Kriz, dahil lagi ka sa tabi ko sa tuwing binabangungot ako. Mga bangungot na hindi ko maalala. They just only left me breathless. I felt like I was trap somewhere, screaming for help. Paulit-ulit na ganun.”
“Since when did you stop having nightmares?”
“Five years ago? When I first listen to Romano’s soothing voice, it felt like he calmed the storm inside me. Hanggang sa nakaugalian ko nang makinig sa kanyang mga kanta bago ko ipikit ang aking mga mata sa gabi. From then on, natigil ang mga bangungot.”
She snorted. “Romano again. I haven’t forgiven him for kidnapping you. Kahit ba sabihin na natin na malaki ang ambag niya sa mabilisan mong paggaling mula sa trahedya, at kahit pa idol mo siya, hindi ko pa rin gusto ang ginawa niya sa’yo.”
I shook her arm. “C’mon, Kriz. It’s not his fault. His driver mistook me for someone else. He was kind to me.” Hindi ko sinabi ang buong kaganapan sa penthouse ni Romano. I skipped the parts where he insulted me. I skipped the parts about him telling me his other side.
Romano’s secrets are mine to keep.
I cleared my throat and shifted on my seat. I couldn’t wait to spill the beans. “Did I fail to mention that my employer is Romano Alcantara?” I bit my bottom lip, waiting for her reaction.
She rolled her eyes. “Dream on.”
I giggled and slapped her shoulders. “Totoo naman kasi. I met his father. Actually, it is his father who wants to hire me as Romano’s PA.” Siyempre, PA lang ang sinabi kong magiging trabaho ko. Sa tingin ko kasi yun talaga din ang pinaka-trabaho ko, bukod sa gwardiyahan ang lalake mula sa mga tukso.
“Seryoso walang halong biro?” She furrowed her eyebrows. Humalukipkip itong humarap sa akin.
Sunod-sunod akong napatango. “Sobrang seryoso.” I raised my right hand.” I am telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So, help me, God.” I grinned.
Unti-unting nanlaki ang mga mata nito. She stood up at hinila din ako patayo. Laking gulat ko na basta na lang tumalon-talon at nagpaikot-ikot kami sa sala na parang trumpo. Mukha kaming mga sirang-ulo.
“This is good news! This is the best news so far!” She laughed at natawa na rin ako.
“Makakatulong ang sahod ko para pampuno sa bahay.”
“I don’t care about that. Ang mahalaga sa akin ay napalapit ka na sa kanya. Hindi na ito suntok sa buwan, Mira. PA ka ng idol mo! How big is that! I’m so happy for you!” She hugged me so tight. I hugged her back.
“Ang saya ko para sa’yo. Bibihira ang ganitong pagkakataon, Mira. Tinitingala at pinapangarap mo lang siya, ngayon ay talagang magkasama na kayo.”
“Ang OA mo, Kriz. Parang kanina lang sabi mo hindi mo pa siya napapatawad kahit hindi naman niya kasalanang napagkamalan ako ng driver niya. At isa pa, ang sabi ko magtatrabaho ako sa kanya, hindi ako ikakasal sa kanya.” I giggled. I didn’t expect her to react like this. I thought she was going to oppose knowing how protective she was of me.
Umirap ito sa akin. “As if naman papatulan ko nun, pero…” She trailed off. Tinitigan niya akong mabuti. I suddenly felt conscious.
“Pero…”
“Pero walang imposible sa ilalim ng araw.” She grinned.
Natawa ako. Nothing is impossible under the sun, yes. But knowing Romano’s preferences for a woman, it’s impossible. Kaya habang maaaga pa ay susupilin ko na ang paghangang nararamdaman ko sa kanya. Kailangan kong sundin ang payo ng MMDA; Bawal tumawid, Nakakamatay.
**********
“Welcome to my humble abode, dearest grandma.”
Romano’s boyish grin welcomed me as he opened the door.
I smiled awkwardly at him. I noticed how his eyes roamed on my face. His grin disappeared. His lips formed into a thin line.
“What happened to your face?” He grabbed my luggage from my hand at ang isang kamay ay inihawak sa aking braso. Hinila niya ako papasok sa marangyang sala nito. He gently pushed me down to sit on the sofa. Umupo naman ito sa center table, his legs spread apart while mine was trapped between his.
He clutched my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I ask you a question, you answer. This is how things work between us, grandma.” His brown eyes turned darker. There was something about those eyes of his that wanting me to run and hide.
“One last time, what the f**k happened to your face? Why you have bruises here?” His thumb stoke my right cheek and I wanted to whimper in pain.
“Ano—”
“Did those kids bully you again? They hit you or threw something hard this time?” The tone of his voice pushed me into high-alert mode. Bakit galit na galit ito?
I wanted to say yes but it would be a lie. Ayokong idamay ang mga batang wala namang ginagawa sa akin. Mula nang araw na binigyan sila ng pera ni Romano, they stopped bullying me. Pag napapadaan nga ako ay binabati na nila ako at kumakaway. Nung Martes nga tinulungan nila akong bitbitin ang mga panahi ko.
Umiling ako. “Ano kasi, nadulas ako.” Napangiwi ako.
“Nadulas ka?”
I nodded. “Nadulas ako sa banyo.”
He narrowed his penetrating eyes on me. “Di ba kung madulas tayo, ang unang babagsak sa sahig ay ang pwet natin. And if we fail to use our elbows to support our upper body, likod ng ulo ang unang tatama sa sahig?”
Naglikot ang mata ko at umiwas na mapatingin sa kanya.
“Remove your clothes.”
I whipped my head to meet his excruciating stare. “Ano? Nababaliw ka na ba?”
“I want to know if you have other bruises.”
“Wala akong pasa sa ibang parte ng katawan ko, Romano.”
“So that means, you’re lying. Ayokong may bahid ng kasinungalingan ang unang araw na magsasama tayo, Mira. Now, don’t test my patience and just tell me the truth.”
I shut my eyes desperately. “May hihingin sana akong pabor, Romano.”
Nag-angat ito ng kilay. “You’re not telling me the truth and now you’re asking a favor?”
“Makinig ka muna sa akin, paki-usap. Kung okay lang sa’yo, pwede ba akong mag cash-advance? Pwede ko bang kunin ang tatlong buwang sahod ko? Ano kasi…sinisingil na kami ng napagsanlaan ng bahay. Nakiusap ako sa kanila na kung pwede one hundred fifty thousand pesos lang muna ako ibigay ko.” Kumagat-labi ako.
“Yung bahay na yun na kasing luma ng larawang kupas ay pwede pa palang isangla? At hindi mo sinasagot ang tanong ko, Mira. Saan galing ang pasa sa pisngi mo? Someone hit you, am I right?”
“Nagkasakitan kami ng pinsan ko.” I answered. Forgive me, Krizette.
“Bakit?”
“Wag mo nang itanong, Romano. Personal ko nang problema ito. Please, I beg you. Pwede ba akong mag cash-adavance?”
He didn’t reply instead he gazed at me. Tila hinahanap nito ang katotohanan sa aking mukha. Ilang minuto pa ang lumipas nang humugot ito ng hininga.
“Okay, fine. Tell that cousin of yours to come here and get the check herself.” Madiin na sagot nito.
Napakamot ako sa batok. “Romano naman…”
Romano sat straight and gawked at me. “Alam mo, first day mo pa nga lang pero ang dami mo nang pabor na hinihingi ha. You are abusing my kindness, grandma. Ibibigay ko ang tatlong buwang sahod mo kung pupunta ang pinsan mo dito para kunin ang pera ng personal.”
I blew air through my cheeks. “Fine.” Matamlay na sagot ko.
Romano clutched my chin using his thumb and forefinger. My heart suddenly beat erratically at the softness of it that it almost shocked my skin. I had no choice but to meet his dark eyes. He was giving me those gentle stares as if he were hypnotizing me.
“Your eyes….” He trailed off.
Tumikhim ako at bahagyang inayos ang aking suot na salamin. Romano let go of me at bahagya rin itong nagulat sa kanyang inasta. Tumayo ito.
“Have you had your lunch yet?” He asked.
Umiling ako. Nawalan ako ng gana dahil umagang umaga pa lang ay inistorbo na kami ng grupo ni Turing. Sa kanya isinangla ni Mama ang bahay at lupa. Pinilit niya kaming bayaran na ang kabuuan pero hindi sapat ang ipon namin ni Krizette. Binigyan niya kami ng hanggang susunod na buwan na taning. Kung hindi namin maibabalik sa kanya ang kabuuang halaga bago matapos ang taning, tiniyak nitong sa kalsada kaming dalawa ni Krizette pupulutin.
Kung tutuusin, pwede naming layasan ang lugar na yun at maghanap na lang ng ibang tirahan kaso hindi ko kaya itong bitawan. Pinundar iyon ng aking ama. Dugo at pawis ang pinuhunan nito para lang magkabahay kami. Ang lupa at bahay na yun ang tanging alalang iniwan sa akin ni Papa. Ipaglalaban ko yun kahit maubos pa ako.
“I ordered us food.” Romano broke my thoughts. He threw his phone on the single couch and reached for my luggage. “I’ll show you your room, grandma.”
I sprung from my seat and rushed to his side to grab my things. But Romano was too fast to shove me to the side. He shot me a glare. “I’m being a gentleman here, grandma. I bet my kidney; this luggage is heavier than you.”
Ngumuso ako. “Hindi ko naman kasi alam kung kailan ako makakauwi sa amin. Kaya lahat ng importanteng gamit ay dinala ko na.”
He shrugged his shoulders as he turned his back on me.
Tahimik akong sumunod sa kanya. As we were sprinting towards the hallway, we passed by the painting that caught my attention the last time I was here.
Something squeezed my heart yet again. That painting screamed a thousand words, yet I couldn’t find the right word to say. Every time I looked at it, it made me breathless. It made me sad.
Romano pointed at the door to my left. “That’s my room. And this room across mine is yours. The door next to yours is another guest room. And that room next to mine is my workstation. I spend most of my times there. No one is allowed to enter in my haven unless I gave permission. That is off-limits, grandma.” There was conviction in his cold voice.
Sunod-sunod akong tumango. “I understand.”
Romano clicked the door open. “Tsaraaaannnn.” He animatedly entered the room that I’d be going to use from now on.
Nilibot ko ang aking tingin sa loob. Hmm…Hindi ito ang kwartong pinagdalhan sa akin ni Romano noong nawalan ako ng malay. Hindi ko masyadong matandaan kung aling pintuan ako lumabas noon. My mind was still in haze that time.
Nanatili ako sa threshold ng pintuan. Romano placed my luggage at the corner. “You like it?”
What’s there to unlike? Para namang may karapatan akong umangal o magreklamo. At isa pa, the fact that the room was painted in white, I was immediately sold.
“I love it.”
“You’re very pure and untainted to me, grandma, so I decided to paint it with white.” Ngumisi ito.
My mouth fell. “Bagong pintura ito?” Now it made sense why I could still smell a faint odor of paint.
He nodded. “Siyempre. Pinaghandaan ko ang pagdating mo. Mahirap na baka mapabalita pa akong walang galang sa nakakatanda.” He chuckled.
I huffed, rolling my eyes at him. “I don’t have a cheap mouth, Romano.”
“Just kidding.”
“Salamat.”
“Anything for my grandma.” He winked. He suddenly pulled me that almost lost my footing. He slightly pushed me to the bed. “I’ll be back.”
Anong trip na naman ng lalakeng yun?
Wala pa atang sampung segundo ay nakabalik na ito at may dalang…medical kit and cold compress.
Romano sat beside me and I immediately scooted away from him. But he must have read my next move because the next thing I knew, his arm snaked around my waist, holding me captive.
“Don’t ever f*****g move, grandma. Your bruise is getting darker. I hate to look at it. It’s troubling me.” His dangerous tone sent shivers down my spine.
I was speechless. My words were stuck behind my throat. Never did I imagine he would be this anxious over a simple bruise. The truth was, I was slapped by that filthy old man because I didn’t cower from his threats for the first time. I talked back at him when he insulted my dead father.
Romano moved closer to my side at hinawakan ang magkabilang balikat ko paharap sa kanya.
“Don’t move, understand?” His tone was like a teacher talking at his five-year old pupil.
Tumango na lamang ako pero iniwas ko ang tingin sa kanya. I could hear the wild and loud thumping of my heart in my ears. I hope he wouldn’t hear it.
“You look like crap.” He said while studying my face.
I pouted. I was tired of hearing how unattractive I was to this man. I knew that ever since but could he stop rubbing it up on me? I used to ignore remarks like that but when the same words fell from his lips, it hurts a little.
“Uh-oh, grandma is quite upset, I see.” He snickered. He gently pressed the cold compress against my cheek. I made a fist because it was painful.
“If you don’t want to look like crap, then you should take care of yourself, grandma. Kapag talaga nakaharap ko na yang pinsan mo…” His face became nearer from me.
I drew myself back a little to give us more space. I was literally holding my breath.
“A—anong gagawin mo sa pinsan ko.”
Naningkit ang mga mata nito. “Hmmm…I don’t hurt women but there’s always a first time.”
“Ano? Sasaktan mo ang pinsan ko? Are you crazy? Wala naman siyang kasalanan, Romano.” Wala sa loob na humawak ako sa kanyang braso.
“I will find the truth soon, grandma.” He said plainly. He grabbed my hand gripping his upper arm and placed it on the cold compress. Tumalikod ito para harapin naman ang medical kit.
May kinukuha itong kung ano sa loob ng kit na yun at nang humarap ulit ito sa akin, kumunot ang noo ko.
“I don’t need band-aid, Romano. Ito lang sapat na.” Tukoy ko sa cold compress. The swelling will be gone soon. Why would I need a band-aid?
“Hindi ito para sa pasa mo,” He replied. Romano then grabbed my free hand and held it up. “Para dito.” He pointed the graze on the lower side of my palm.
Pinilig ko ang aking ulo. “Hindi ko alam na may sugat pala ako diyan.” I probably had it when I fell on the floor after the cruel man slapped me hard. My palm rubbed against the hard surface.
“You are supposed to baby-sit me but why do I feel like it’s the other way around?”
“Tss. Kaya ko namang gamutin ang sarili ko. You can leave me alone now.”
“Ayoko nga. I like babysitting you, my grandma.” He grinned.
“I am not your grandma! Ouch!” He intentionally pressed my wound with force.
“Wag kasing magulo.”
“Hindi ako magulo.”
Romano just chew his lips and felt like trying his hardest no to cackle. He continued tending to my wound. When he finished cleaning it, he put band-aid on it. Inangat nito ulit ang aking kamay at sinuring mabuti.
“Hmm….”
“Hmm?”
“I was wondering….” He gazed at me.
Nanliit ang mga mata ko sa kanya. His mischievous eyes were giving me a warning.
“You were wondering, what?”
Nagkibit-balikat ito. Hawak-kawak pa rin ang aking sugatang palad. His long fingers kneading my hand in circles. “Your hands are precious, grandma. They will take care of my junior.” He regarded me with amusement.
My mind was full of question marks. “You have a junior?”
His boisterous laughs filled the four corners of my room. He ruffled my messy hair. “You’re so cute, grandma! But yes, I have a junior.”
Tumingin ako sa paligid. “Where is he?”
He chuckled. “You’ll have to give me an orgasm to find out.” He winked at me before he stood up. My heart missed one beat at the loss of his touch. “Although, it’s never gonna happen.” He sighed. “Get change. The food will be here soon.”
Nang mawala ito sa aking paningin, saka ko pa lang tuluyang naintindihan ang kahulugan ng kanyang mga sinabi. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko.
That man!