Broken Boundaries

Chapter 12: Hateful Love

Celeste

“Mr. Dominic’s lessons are canceled.” Uncle Kunle breaks the news during break time, his voice so casual it feels like he’s talking about the weather. “What? Why?” The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them.

He raises an eyebrow, clearly unfazed. “Your scores have improved, and your English is much better. You don’t need him for now,” he replies, already turning to walk away.

I stand there, the disappointment settling in my chest like a heavy stone. Improved? I didn’t even score 70% on my last test. Why would he end the lessons now, just when I need them the most? The questions swirl in my mind, but Uncle Kunle is already gone, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

After school, I find myself drifting to the classroom where Mr. Dominic used to hold our lessons. The empty room feels like a shell of what it used to be—just a collection of desks and chairs without purpose. I sit in the front row, my usual spot. Memories of stacks of grammar worksheets and the sound of Mr. Dominic’s voice explaining the difference between "affect" and "effect" flood my mind. It feels wrong, like something was ripped away without warning. Why didn’t he even bother to discuss it with me first? After convincing me that these extra lessons were worth it, why just stop?

Laughter pulls me out of my thoughts. I glance out the door and spot a group of junior students gathered around Mr. Dominic in the hallway. "I heard you stopped lessons with Celeste. Would you like to have lessons with us?" a girl asks, her voice brimming with eagerness.

"You’ll need to discuss it with your parents before I can accept you," he says with a smile, and they practically burst with excitement. They look like they’ve just won the lottery.

A pang of annoyance surges through me. Their giggles echo as Mr. Dominic nods at them before turning toward the parking lot. He swings a leg over his power bike, revving the engine. And just like that, he rides off without a single glance in my direction.

The next day, I try to keep my focus on the board, but Mr. Dominic’s voice is nothing more than background noise, drowned out by the whirlwind of my thoughts. The words in my notebook blur together, and I catch myself staring out the window, watching the branches sway in the wind.

“Are you alright, Celeste?” Mr. Dominic’s voice is suddenly closer, and I look up, startled. His sharp blue eyes locks onto mine, filled with a concern that sends a chill down my spine.

I blink, nodding quickly. “Yeah, I’m... I’m fine,” I reply, trying to sound casual, but even I can hear the lie in my voice.

Before he can say anything else, Hayvin’s voice cuts through the silence. “She’s probably just daydreaming about her imaginary boyfriend,” she snickers, drawing a few chuckles from the other students.

My cheeks burn, and my grip tightens around my pen. The embarrassment stings, but Mr. Dominic’s gaze shifts to Hayvin, his expression stern. “That’s enough,” he says, his voice calm yet firm. “Let’s stay focused.”

I sink lower into my seat, my stomach churning with a mix of emotions. Should I be grateful he stepped in? Or is this just another reminder of how much he makes me feel like a clueless child?

After school, I return to the empty classroom with my earbuds in, listening to the audiobook that Mr. Dominic gave me. I finished it last night, but I’m replaying the first chapter again. The familiar voice soothes me, each word calming the storm in my head. It’s helped my English a lot, but I wonder if I should return it now, cut this connection to him once and for all. I just want to erase any trace of what used to be.

“Welcome, dear student, to this journey of listening, learning, and growing your English skills. As you read, allow yourself to relax and absorb the rhythm of the language. Listening carefully as native speakers share their words with you is like opening a door to understanding how the language flows, how the sounds dance in conversation…”

The words melt away when someone pulls one of my earbuds out. I whirl around to find Mr. Dominic standing there. His expression is different—strange and unreadable.

“Why did you end the lesson?” I demand, my voice sharper than I intend. Mr. Dominic's brows arch as he turns to face me, his expression a mix of surprise and something like concern.

I don’t wait for an answer. “You didn’t just betray my choice; you betrayed my trust,” I continue, my throat tightening with every word. I can feel the eyes of the few students lingering in the hallway, curiosity pulling them closer like moths to a flame. “From now on, just… avoid me.”

“Celeste—”

His mouth opens, probably to say something I won’t care to hear, but I’m already snatching up my books and slinging my bag over my shoulder. Before I know it, I’m out the door, the weight of everything hanging heavy on me. I don’t look back. I don’t need to.

But as I push through the exit, I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve just walked away from something much bigger than a lesson.

---

The morning sun is bright, casting a shimmering glow over the school pond. During break, I sit with Kyomi on our usual bench near the cafeteria. She watches me as I toy with the frosting on my cupcake. “You’ve been kind of... spacey lately,” she says, nudging me with her shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

I sigh, my gaze drifting to the shimmering water. “I don’t know. I feel numb. My heart races, but I can’t catch my breath. Sometimes, I just... tremble.” I let out a shaky breath. “I’m scared, Kyomi. And I don’t even know why.”

She frowns, scooting closer. “Scared of what?”

I hesitate before the words tumble out. “Mr. Dominic. I hate him,” I say, the admission burning on my tongue. “I hate the way he looks at me, his stupid blue eyes, his scent, his voice... Everything.”

Kyomi's eyes widen with surprise, but then she smirks. “Are you… in love with him?”

The words make me scoff. “Love? What does that even mean?” I shake my head, as if the motion could erase the very idea.

“The moment I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that love was,” Kyomi recites a quote. Her voice soft and teasing. “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”

I give her a look. “What are you even talking about?”

She grins. “It’s from Rumi. You probably wouldn’t get it. You’re a science student, after all. But if you take time to read poetry, maybe you’d understand.” She pauses, her eyes searching mine. “Do you ever feel like your heart is on fire? Like it’s burning and aching for something you can’t even explain? It's hateful love.”

I swallow hard. “Hateful love,” I whisper, the words tasting strange in my mouth.

Kyomi nods, her expression softening. “Yes, it's pure and fierce! It’s okay to have feelings for someone you hate. You just need to tell him your feelings. Let him know! If you keep it locked up in your heart, it’ll consume you—like wildfire.”

A shiver runs down my spine. “I can’t tell him, Kyomi. I just can’t.”

“Maybe things will work out better than you think,” she says, giving me a quick hug before we walk into our separate classes. “Don’t be scared.”

---

After classes, I wander into the school library. I don’t even know why I’m here, but my feet seem to lead me to the literature section. My eyes skim over the spines of the books until one catches my attention: The Essential Rumi translated by Coleman Barks. I pull it off the shelf, thumbing through the pages until a line stops me cold.

‘Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.’

I snap the book shut, my heart hammering in my chest. It feels like a mirror reflecting the parts of me I’ve been trying to avoid. With a shaky breath, I borrow the book and clutch it to my chest as I leave the library.

As I step outside, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m about to cross a line—one that I can never come back from.

Why does everything seem to pull me back to him?