Freya
1615 Words
I can't believe I'm sitting here in my car stalking Chase Wislow! I knew he said he was staying at his Pop's place, but when I pulled up to my own house and spotted a half naked Chase pushing a lawn mower, I had forgotten how close that was to my own house. Two doors down! And Holy s**t does he look yummy! My libido is going bonkers! I can't understand myself. This is the man who rocked my world five years ago and then just dropped out of mine and Darren's life. He went back to his life in New York and we never heard from him. And I had tried! Many times to reach him. Even sent letters only to have them returned to sender. I had kept them. I don't know why. Maybe just to remind me not to let him hurt me again.
Watching his back glisten with sweat while he pushed the mower reminded me what it felt like under my hands years ago. His strength. His power. I remember the smile he gave me when we cuddled after having blown my mind. s*x with him had been everything I had hoped for and then some! I had loved him for years! It was always Chase. Until it wasn't. I had saved myself for a man who didn't really want me. It had devastated me! Blind sided me too. When I had reached my post in Afghanistan and ran back into Peter, I was so happy to be with someone I knew. We clicked. Hanging out with him and Kellum had pulled me out of my funk. Then it was his shoulder I had cried on when I discovered I was pregnant. Single, pregnant, and so far away from home, and unable to reach the babies father. Peter had stepped up. He loved me. Had since we met in boot camp. He was there for me. He wanted to be my baby's father. He wanted to be there for me. So marring him, and loving him came so easy. Kellum was the only one who knew April didn't really belong to Peter. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone else. Peter had no family. He was a foster kid growing up. Having a family had been all he ever wanted. He said meeting me and being his wife, he was the luckiest man alive. Then he'd been killed before we could build that life. Now here I am. Watching April's father mow his lawn two doors down and he had never wanted me like I had wanted him. It was unfair. I was still attracted to him, and I really need to get my head screwed on right!
I pushed the door open on my car and reached across the seat and grabbed the grocery bag while April unbuckled herself from her booster seat. She waited for me to open the door for her and she bounced out.
"And mommy, I really, really want the brown puppy. Pleease!" She wined. "He's sooo cute mommy, and I promise I'll be a good mommy to him. Just like you are to me." I grinned as I looked into my daughter's green eyes. Her sandy colored hair was in pigtails today. She was trying very hard to talk me into letting her have a dog. What she didn't know was I had already spoke to both Maw maw and Paw paw, to save it for her.
"You do realize it's a lot of responsibility right? He'll need food and water every day, and you'll need to take him for walks. Also if you want him in the house you'll need to potty train him." I was saying as we made our way up the walk to the front door. I was juggling my grocery bag and trying to dig into my purse for the keys.
"I'll do it mommy I promise. And uncle Kellum says he'd help me. Pleease Mommy?"
I heard a deep chuckle behind me and whipped around to find a shirtless Chase standing there. "Need any help neighbor?" He gave me a cocky grin. April screwed up her neck to look at him.
"Hi, I'm April. I'm four. Who are you?" She said.
His eyes dropped to her. His smile spreading. "I'm Chase. I'm an old friend of your mom's and uncle Darren."
"My mommy is getting me a puppy. I'm going to name him Buster." She was grinning ear to ear.
He reached out and took my grocery bag while I fitted the key into the slot. Twisting the lock I opened the front door and April raced in. I followed and Chase stepped over the thresh hold with my groceries. He followed me to the kitchen and set it on the counter. "Cute place." He commented looking around.
My eyes tracked around my cozy home. The comfortable sofas with all the pillows. The big recliner where April and I cuddle up in to watch movies and eat pop corn. My bright yellow and white kitchen with the granite counter tops and island. I loved my home. In my eyes there was no more perfect place for my little girl to grow up. "you can set that right there." I pointed to the island. I dropped my keys into my purse and started unloading the bag. Sticking the milk and butter into the fridge. "Can I offer you something to drink? Beer, water." I turned around and his eyes were on my ass as I bent into the fridge. I felt my cheeks warm and stood up.
"A water would be fine." He answered.
I grabbed a bottle out of the fridge and handed it to him. He uncapped it and swallowed down half of it. "I forgot how hot it gets mowing a lawn."
"I forgot how close your grandfather's house was." I blurted. His close proximity was making me nervous. "Sorry, yes I know where your grandfather lived, I just...well It's been empty for so long you don't pay attention. Although, I really think I need to mention to my deputies that we should check on properties that appear abandoned. You never know what teenagers might be using them to party in." Again I was babbling. He really made me nervous standing there half naked!
"Mommy, can I have a juice?' April asked sweetly.
"Of coarse bug!" I grabbed a cup down from the cupboard. "Orange or apple?"
"Apple! My favorite!" She cheered.
"Wow! That's my favorite too!" Chase told her. "When I was a boy my grandfather kept lots of it on hand. Remember Freya?"
I poured the juice in her cup and she sat at the kitchen table. She took a swallow then looked up at me. "Are you gonna make segetti mommy? I want some. "
"Yes bug, but I'm waiting for uncle Kellum to come home first. He had a doctors appointment remember?' She nodded. I rejoined Chase at the island.
"She's quiet a talker." He said.
I looked over at her. All the love I had for her in my eyes. "She's very smart. I'll be looking for a kindergarten for her soon. She turns five after the school year starts, but I want her to mingle with kids her age and get a head start on what it's like. Kellum and I work with her here and Maw maw too, so she's ready." I finish putting everything away. Then I look over at him. "Listen Chase, about last night." He looks away for a second then back to me. "I don't know why I said what I did. I'm sorry. I guess things are a little hard between us and I really don't want bad feelings creeping in. Your here for Darren and I appreciate that. He's always thought of you as his best friend. I'm glad you agreed to come back for his wedding."
"But I'm not your friend anymore though am I Freya?" He asked quietly.
"I don't think so Chase. The man I cared about ran out on me and never thought twice about it. I guess I out grew what I felt for you."
"What if I told you I'm a different person from what I was then. I'm more stable and in control of my life now. Would that make a difference? Would you be willing to become my friend again. Get back some of the trust you used to have in me?" His green eyes looked deeply into mine. I saw sadness in his.
"I don't know Chase. You still could just up an leave. It's the leaving I'm afraid of. You just disappear when you do. Five years ago and the four before that."
"Could you find it in your heart to try? For old times sake?" He whispered.
I stared at him. I felt the tears form in my eyes. I wanted to. Oh boy do I want too, but it's not just me. It's April too. I can't tell him yet. I can't tell him about his daughter. I don't know if he'd stay.
"I...I can try I guess, but...I have people in my life now that depend on me. If they can't trust you then I'll be following their led." He nodded.
"You'll see I'm a better person Freya."
Just then Kellum came in the back door. "Hi uncle Kellum, Can we have segetti for dinner?" April asked him. He looked up to me and we both laughed.
- Writer
